The Shadow Alpha

After my run I threw on a long T-shirt and a pair of shorts that I found inside a basket under one of the trees at the beginning of the forest; we always kept spare clothes around the territory in case of emergency and times like these.

I walked into the pack house and straight to my office, but I didn’t miss weary looks the pack members threw me as I passed.

"Word seems to have travelled fast about my outburst earlier on.” I mumbled softly to myself as I entered my office and slammed the door shut.

I made a beeline for the reserved section of the bookshelf which held all the information I had gathered on the Shadow wolf during my travels across the world. I had been through these books countless times in the past, but it was no surprise that I may have skipped over the parts about mates, since I was sure I'd never have one.

Well played Mother Selene!

Four hours later I gazed at the back cover of each and every book and scroll that I had about the Shadow wolf and much to my dismay, not a single one spoke even a word about mates.

I found it kind of strange though, there was some highly unnecessary detail in some books, but none spoke of the mating process of the Shadow wolf. I tugged at my hair in frustration, but my inner turmoil was cut short by the loud roar of my empty stomach.

The awful vibration reminded me that I have not eaten anything since dinner last night and I was starting to feel the effects of the lack of nutrition especially after having used so much energy last night and on my run.

Regardless of the knots in my stomach, I needed to eat and soon.

“This damn mate bond! I haven't even had a chance to check on my pack training nor do any other work since the arrival of the Full Moon pack.” I grumbled moodily. I was losing focus of my responsibilities thanks to this rising revolution and this insufferable mate bond!

“Calm yourself my dear; our mate is a gift from the Goddess. We are a strong being; Mother Selene would never do something outside reason. She has the answers to all your questions.’ I was slightly shocked to hear Shadows voice, but as usual her voice of reason within me with her calm and soothing voice washed my worries away and provided a solution to my problem.

"You're right Shade, thank you for that." I said gratefully, feeling much more at ease. Her melodious giggle rang in my mind which brought a smile to my face.

“Silly girl, we are two halves of the same being. Just because I choose not to speak to you all the time doesn't mean I'm not there. I trust you Allison and I trust that each and every decision you make for us is what is best for us. She assured me and words could not describe how elated I felt. The little girl who once sought acceptance felt overjoyed by her words. “Oh Shadow, what did I ever do to deserve such a wonderful wolf?’ I could feel her smile- don't ask how, it's just one of those things you can tell with just the bond between a wolf and a human.

“Oh my dear, I am nothing special. You on the other hand, are special. Now, go to our mate, he needs us. The further we are from one another, the weaker either of us and our bond becomes.’

My mind immediately went back to last night when he walked out of the gym; he looked so vulnerable and betrayed. We were both fighting our own internal battles and the harder we fought, the further apart it tore us.

Our bond felt weak, the most obvious thing being the fact that we physically fought, neither batting an eyelash. Thinking about it made my body ache miserably, the wounds may be healed, but the memory and emotional pain will always mare my mind and remind me of how I lost control. Physical fighting was unheard of between wolf mates, I may have dismissively chalked it up to frustration, but deep down I knew it was wrong. In the werewolf kingdom, no one comes before your mate and hurting your mate the way we did to each other takes a special kind of evil. The reality made my heart clench in agony.

I snapped out of my thoughts when my stomach growled loudly once again, deciding that I needed to feed the beast, I made my way to the kitchen. Just as I rounded the corner I came face to face with Amy Farris. Her eyes widened the size of saucers the moment she saw me standing in front of her, probably recalling our last encounter; I hid my smirk and snickered internally.

"Amy." I said with a stern voice and saw her stand up straighter and her eyes cast downwards. “That's right pup, show me some respect.’ I gloated internally. Shadow simply shook her head in amusement at my petty victory.

“Good evening Alpha.” She greeted timidly while my eyes fell to the cup of coffee in her hands. If there was one thing I had learnt about Amy in all the years I slaved for her, it was that she never and I mean never drank coffee. In fact, she never failed to express her disgust for the beverage saying how bad it was for the skin.

"Who are you taking coffee for Amy?” I asked in mild interest, her eyes widened and she stuttered nervously.

“I- Mrs Summers asked me- Mrs Summers asked me to give this to Devin in his room.” My eyes narrowed and the gears in my head began turning.

“That's Alpha Devin, to you!” I emphasized and her eyes widened further, she quickly nodded in understanding. “Good. Now give this to me and run along, I'll see to it that he gets his coffee.” I dictated and took the warm mug from her hands before she hurried away from me.

I brought the cup up to my lips, not trusting the person who made it and immediately gagged when the liquid touched my tongue.

I have never tasted a more bland cup of coffee in my entire existence!

I made my way to the kitchen and poured the foul liquid down the drain and set out to make a fresh cup of hot chocolate.

I sensed her presence long before I saw her; the instant April entered the kitchen through the back door her eyes widened, but she recovered quickly.

“Good evening Allison.” She said cheerfully which caught me off guard, but I managed to hide it well. “We missed you at supper this evening.” She commented swiftly. My hands froze midway pouring the milk into the mug; I locked eyes with her and commented sternly.

“Not that it's any of your business, but I had some pack work that had to be taken care of.” She just smiled unfazed by my less than friendly attitude and shuffled closer to me, I watched in scrutiny as she placed her hand on my arm and had to fight the tensing of my muscles.

“Allison, I know that what we did in the past was wrong, so very wrong. We all hurt you so much after the death of your parents, when we should have protected you and for that I would like to apologise. As your Luna I should have stopped them from treating you so unfairly, but I was blinded, I was blinded by the loss of my best friend, so much so that I needed something to take away the pain. Words cannot describe how much we regret what we did and how much I hate myself for putting you through that. You have become such a strong and beautiful woman, the Alpha of the strongest pack in the world, but even still Allison, you cannot do this to yourself; you must take rest sometimes. Goddess knows I have been preaching the same story to Devin and even now, I had to send coffee for him because he refused to eat and wasn't down for supper either, claiming that he had a lot of pack work to do.” She ranted, her voice taking a motherly tone. I studied her carefully as she spoke, if it weren't for the look in her eye when she spoke about the abuse and my pack I would have thought she was genuinely sorry, but I knew better.

Even I could see that she cared for him- despite not being Devin's biological mother, her womanly instincts were that of a mother, she cared for him on some level and that made it even more sad that she would deceive him the way she has been doing.

“You're right, what you all did was wrong on so many levels, but no matter how much you'd like to, you can't change the fact that you made my life a living hell for eight years. Too little too late. I will never respect you the way I once did, but for what it's worth, I forgive you.” I shook her hand from my arm, she stared at me for a few moments before closing her eyes in what seemed like pain and turned away to walk out of the kitchen.

Before she could step out I spoke again, “Oh and April?” she turned towards me with a questioning look, “My parents aren't dead!” I stated firmly and turned my back to get the ingredients for our supper. She stood gaping at my back for a few seconds before she herself turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Devin didn't have supper either?

A load of guilt settled in my chest as I worked on making us something to eat.

When we were kids, Devin stayed over at our house often, usually Hunter would fall asleep leaving Devin and I wide awake and hungry. It became somewhat a tradition, mom used to make grilled cheese with onion and tomato which we had with hot chocolate. After we gobbled down our midnight snack she would read us a story to us until we fell asleep.

When Devin learnt to read he would read the story to me and halfway through we'd both fall asleep with our heads on the same pillow and story book discarded between us. Hunter was always jealous and tried countless times to stay up late enough to join in our midnight tradition, but not once did he ever succeed.

Now that I think of it, Devin and I were quite close until Mom and Dad were kidnapped; we were like the three musketeers, they never excluded me or pushed me away even though I was younger. Devin was once my best friend too.