The Sentinel of Cassendar: Resquarian

Roderick rode back towards the palace and the stables slightly ahead of Lady Selene, with Aarit trotting along beside his horse. This ride had not been the relaxing jaunt he hoped it would be. The lady behind him had irritated him to the point, he could not wait to get back to the palace and far away from her for a time.

He looked back at her for a moment. She was beautiful, with her dark hair and eyes. Even with the somewhat sour look on her face as he refused to speak with her, she was quite lovely. She could be an interesting companion. He could tell she was intelligent and had excellent manners when she practiced them. She was very open and engaging much of the time, but she was also very improper sometimes.

Roderick was not one who called for decorum at all times, but he did not know Lady Selene well. She was becoming much too familiar with him, much too quickly. She had asked very personal questions of Roderick within just knowing him a few days. He had nothing to hide, but there were still things he was not comfortable taking about with a new acquaintance.

He was not blind or dumb. He knew Lady Selene had attempted to flirt with him many times in the past few days, but he also saw her flirt with just about every man she came across. He did not take her attentions seriously. He enjoyed them at times. What man wouldn’t want a beautiful woman to tease him and laugh with him before and after mealtimes? What man wouldn’t enjoy escorting such a lovely woman to supper or sit by her as he ate, basking in her smiles? She had been a welcome distraction during these strange, sad, anxious days after arriving in Siccaria.

When they first came to the Aurorial palace, Roderick had been worried for Dracia. She was doing fairly well on the ship, able to walk on the deck as they docked, but he could tell she was very weak. Prince Leal had taken her directly to a room with Lady Elise following behind, fussing in worry after them. The first two days, she had done little but sleep. Roderick had checked on her many times those first few days, and was even allowed by the prince to sit beside her for a few hours as she slept.

When he wasn’t worrying or visiting the High Captain, Roderick spent time with his fellow Elites that had traveled with them. They had lost one during the fight in Navalian. A man named Nathaniel who was just a few years older than Roderick. Roderick had liked Nathaniel, finding him a good natured man who was a fierce fighter, and everything an Elite should be. It was a tough loss, and made harder knowing they could not give him a proper farewell as his body was now covered under layers and layers of snow caused by the avalanche. Still, they performed the usual farewell rights together their first night in the palace, talking about Nathaniel well into the night.

Now that the High Captain was doing better, and the Elites seemed to be well settled into the palace, Roderick’s thoughts had turned to his family back in Winsdell. His mother and brother were all alone in their manor house on the edge of the village. He wondered what they were feeling at the moment. He imagined his poor mother was devastated thinking she had lost Galen and him as well. He knew his mother loved him, but Galen held a special place in her heart. He hoped she could endure the loss she must be feeling until she was able to know the truth that both of her sons were alive and well.

He wondered what was happening in Winsdell in the High Palace. Were the high lords of Lanoxan who had escaped Navalia or stayed behind in Winsdell, preparing to meet to find a way forward? They thought the Cassendars all dead, and no one to sit on the throne of the High Palace. Until they knew better, they would have to find a way to go forward, to find someone to lead Lanoxan.

Then there was the Sentinel. What must be going on in the Fortress, believing the High Captain dead, having murdered the King of Navalia? He knew there were protocols to follow, and several Upper Elites to keep the ways of the Sentinel going, but there would still be uncertainty, and uncertainty was very dangerous at a time such as this. Navalia would descend upon Lanoxan soon, and the Sentinel would have to decide who they would serve.

“Are you really going to ignore me the rest of our ride?” asked Lady Selene as she moved her horse forward to come closer to Roderick.

“I apologize, my lady, I have much on my mind today,” said Roderick.

“I know it must be difficult to be away from your kingdom. I believe you still have family in Lanoxan?” asked Lady Selene.

“Yes, my mother and brother are in our family home just outside of Winsdell. I am worried about them as well as my fellow Elites of the Sentinel still in the Fortress,” said Roderick.

“It will take some time for Navalia to find their way that far south. Perhaps, your prince and High Captain will have a plan before then,” said Lady Selene.

“I am sure the prince and the High Captain will do everything they can to make sure their people and kingdom are saved from the Navalians, but much can happen before we are victorious. Lives will be lost no matter how successful we are,” said Roderick as he turned slightly towards her.

“I hope you know I do understand how hard this must be for you. I know I come across as flippant and silly much of the time, but I do care about others. You and everyone in your group have struck me as good and worthy people. I am much grieved by what has happened to all of you, and what could happen to your kingdom,” said Lady Selene looking kindly at Roderick.

Roderick nodded at her. “Lanoxan has its problems as any other kingdom, but over all I would say it has tried to stand for what is right. I have much faith in our future king. I believe he will be a worthy leader.”

“And he seems to have chosen a very worthy queen as well. I have only met her for a moment, but I believe in first impressions, and she struck me as a very impressive woman,” said Lady Selene. “The prince also seems much in love with her.”

“He is, and she with him. They have suffered much because of their love and withstood it all. I believe it has made them stronger as individuals and as a couple. I hope to see them spend many happy years together as they reign over Lanoxan,” said Roderick.

“Suffering because of love must be difficult. I imagine being in love with someone must be euphoric, but to feel pain because of it must be agonizing. Still if I must suffer, love would be the only cause I would choose,” said Lady Selene.

“You don’t know what you are saying. Love is wonderful, but there is also no pain like it. Watching someone you love in pain is the greatest despair one can feel. To know there is nothing you can do as the one you love is suffering, is a helplessness like you can’t even imagine,” said Roderick.

“You speak from experience, do you?” asked Lady Selene.

“I do,” said Roderick quietly.

“Do you have a woman waiting for you back home?” asked Lady Selene.

“No, I do not, but you must understand that love comes in many different forms than the one you are probably imagining. The love for a lover is very deep I imagine, but the love for a friend or family member can be just as deep in a different way. While I may not have a wife or even an intended, I have still felt enough love in my life for my heart to be full. I can tell you it has been wonderful and agonizing at times.

“You must love your family, especially your sister. You must understand some of what I am saying,” said Roderick.

Lady Selene was quiet for several moments before she spoke again. “I do love my sister, as well as my mother and father. I have a brother as well. I think I have lived a rather charmed life so far, without much loss or pain. I know it would be devastating for something to happen to a member of my family, but I have a hard time imagining it.”

“I pray you never have to imagine it, my lady. You never completely recover from it. It will always haunt you,” said Roderick as he pushed away many images he had collected in the past, especially the over the last year.

After taking his horse and Aarit to the stables, Roderick walked into the palace to clean up and eat lunch with his fellow Elites. They seem to be in decent moods at the meal, though he could tell they were still feeling the loss of their fellow Elite, and the uncertainty of their kingdom’s future. Roderick was sure Dracia would be able to join them all soon, and he knew seeing their High Captain whole and healthy would do much to rejuvenate the small group.

He spent some time after the meal with the Elites, talking with them and assuring them that their High Captain was getting better every day. They talked over what had happened in Navalia and possible scenarios for what would happen in Lanoxan. After leaving them around half past the second bell of the afternoon, Roderick decided he would make the visit to the High Captain as he had promised.

He walked to her door and knocked. It was answered by Prince Leal who smiled at Roderick.

“Good afternoon, I wondered when you would come by. You might want to come back another time, as I am sure Dracia needs her rest before tonight,” said the prince.

“Who is it, Leal?” Roderick heard Dracia ask in the room. “Is it Roderick?”

“Yes, but I am sure he wouldn’t mind postponing this visit until later so you can rest.”

“Nonsense, let him in. I am not tired one bit, and talking with Roderick will lighten my mood,” said Dracia as Prince Leal sighed and opened the door wider so Roderick could enter.

He walked over to the sofa by the fire, to find the High Captain lounging there, holding a book. She made to get up, but Roderick walked over quickly to her, shaking his head.

“Do not get up, Captain. There is no need,” he said as he stood before her.

“I would like to greet your properly, but if you insist, I shall stay were I am,” Dracia said with a smile, holding out her hand. Roderick took it and kissed is gently before letting it go and sitting down in the chair beside her.

“Your strength seems to be coming back if you are able to sit up most of the day,” said Roderick as Prince Leal sat down beside her.

“Yes, I am feeling much better today than I have since we arrived. I am trying not to nap at all so I can sleep well tonight,” said Dracia putting the book in her lap on the table in front of her. She glanced at the prince. “If I can sleep at all after tonight.”

“What is happening tonight?” asked Roderick with concern.

“You must know I have been long confused over the connection I seem to have with the High Nobles of Siccaria,” said Dracia. “How they seem to treat me as one of their own.”

Roderick nodded. He had wondered at their devotion to Dracia. Not that she wasn’t worthy of such devotion, but the High Nobles were a close knit group. They were never unkind, but were very closed off to who they let into their very inner circle. Lord Ethen and Lady Maia had made a big show of claiming Dracia as one of their own in Navalia, and since they had arrived in Siccaria, Dracia was doted on by Lady Elise as a beloved member of their family.

’I had wondered over it myself,” said Roderick. “I knew they had enjoyed your company in Winsdell when they came, especially Lord Ethen, but I was surprised by the depth of their care and devotion to you, not that you don’t deserve it.”

“I know this will sound odd, and I cannot explain it, but I believe I am one of them somehow. I feel a connection here in Siccaria and with the High Nobles that I cannot explain except to say I know I am of this place and of their family.”

Roderick felt his eyebrows knit together as he looked at the High Captain in confusion. “But how, you are well known as the daughter of High Lord Arwel. You have always lived in his home as his and his wife’s daughter.”

“I have, but does that mean they are actually my parents?” asked Dracia. “You must admit, I look nothing like my mother, and she has for many years shown little affection for me as a daughter, though she will argue otherwise.”

“But your father is very devoted to you. He has not hidden the fact that you are his favorite child, Dracia. How could you think he is not your father?” said Roderick.

Dracia shrugged. “You can grow affection for a child who is not your own. Many children across the kingdom have found good homes with those who are not their natural parents. I must be prepared to face the reality that I may not be the daughter of a high lord and his wife. I may be nothing but a bastard child of some High Noble of Siccaria. I have to be prepared to face the consequences.”

Leal sighed loudly next to Dracia. “Not that I believe what you were saying, but even if it were true, there would be no consequences, Dracia. Nothing would change; you would still be my wife and the next Queen of Lanoxan.”

Dracia shook her head. “You cannot really believe it, Leal. You must know that some people will already question why you would choose me over a foreign princess or some other royalty in our land, but at least as the daughter of the High Lord in our kingdom, I bring something to our marriage.”

“You bring everything to our marriage. It is I have who doesn’t have much to give you, dearest. You must see it. You are above me in every way possible, from goodness to ability, to intelligence, not to mention beauty,” said Leal taking her hand. “It would not matter to me if you were the daughter of a poor farmer; I will have no one but you.”

“Roderick, talk some sense into your prince and future king,” said Dracia as she tried to take her hand away form Leal who only held it tighter. “He must see that if I am some illegitimate child, it will change things.”

Roderick could see her point, but she couldn’t really think any of this was true. She couldn’t be some illegitimate child. He had seen how her father had doted on her. She was well known to be his most beloved child, letting her do as she pleased. It was why she was allowed to join the Sentinel in the first place. What high lord would let his daughter do such a thing if he did not have such affection? One who is not who everyone thinks she is, said a voice in his head.

“I think you should wait and see what is the truth, Dracia,” said Roderick. “After that, I believe you and your husband can handle whatever you find. You two are officially married, and you could not back out now. I don’t believe your prince would let you.”

“No, I would not,” said Prince Leal. “You cannot get rid of me, Dracia. Our path is set as I have told you many times.”

“I guess we will wait and see what Lady Elise has to say about it,” said Dracia. “You need to be in the large parlor in the west wing after dinner tonight. Lady Elise has requested you come. I would like you there as well, for support.”

“I don’t know why Lady Elise would like me there, but I will come for you, Dracia,” said Roderick.

“There is nothing to worry about,” said Prince Leal as he kissed Dracia’s hand. “Ethen has said all will be well, and I trust him. I know you do as well, Dracia.”

Dracia nodded. “We will know all soon enough. Now, Roderick tell me how my Elites are faring.”

The spent the rest of the afternoon talking of the Elites and the battle in Navalia. Dracia was of course upset at the loss of Nathaniel and the fact she did not speak at his farewell, but she trusted Roderick said all the proper things. She vowed she would speak with her Elites if not tomorrow than the next day.

“I should be leaving so you can rest before you dress for dinner,” said Roderick as he stood up, Dracia and Leal both standing up as well.

“Thank you for giving me your afternoon, Roderick. I do miss you. I hope we can go out riding together very soon, though I doubt I would be as enjoyable as your partner this morning,” said Dracia with a laugh as she walked Roderick to the door.

Roderick rolled his eyes, “Trust me, High Captain, there is no one I would rather ride out with than you.”

“She is a beautiful young woman who seems to have taken an interest in you. It is okay if you enjoy her attentions,” said Dracia as she patted his arm.

“She is a young woman who shows attention to any halfway attractive man she meets,” said Roderick shaking his head. “I will not say she is not an interesting person, or even enjoyable at times, but do not think she and I will make a match in some way. I am sure our ideas of a life well lived are very different.”

“We shall see, Roderick. I am not saying you will marry the woman. I am only saying it is okay to take some time to enjoy yourself. No one deserves a little merriment more than you. Find some time to enjoy her smiles and attentions, even if you a have to miss a morning ride with me.”

Roderick smiled at her. “Perhaps you can both come along one morning. I would like to hear your opinion on the woman after you spend some time with her; you could bring the prince as well.”

“We will set a date soon, though I will ask you for at least one morning with just you, if you don’t mind,” said Dracia.

“I will be happy to give it to you, High Captain,” said Roderick as he opened the door. “Do not fret about tonight if you can manage it. I believe all will be well. You know who you are, and it has nothing to do with titles or who your parents are.”

“I would like to believe that is true,” said Dracia looking down at the floor.

“It is true, and you should believe it. I know who you are, and it is everything good and worthy,” said Roderick, meaning every word.

“You are too good to me, and think too well of me as always,” said Dracia quietly as she looked up at him.

“No, I am truthful. No one could ever think too well of you, it is impossible. I know your prince agrees, as well as everyone who truly knows you,” said Roderick. “Now rest, and I will see you at supper.”

Dracia smiled at him and squeezed his hand before he left the room, wondering what the night would bring, and worrying how it would affect his High Captain.