The Search for Freedom

Lil Whatever Cain would tell me, his sins were unforgivable. He was the reason my life became poignant. He was the reason why I killed a lot of innocent people, even my friend's mother. And I wasn't in a difficult situation if he didn't show his demonic face. But if he wanted to assist me in breaking the curse, why wouldn't he talk to me instead of blasting in my ear like a machine gun?

Perhaps it was a mistake if I always disagreed with every word he would say. That I was allowing them to enter one ear and leave another annoyed him as a reply to his opinions. But though I would fight him, he didn't run out of words, and he talked to me the whole day. He would never give up as long as he could not get my attention, and he seemed to be a tireless spirit. I didn't know. Perhaps his real intention was to win my trust, for the thought that I might conspire with him. Cain had been following me wherever I would go. I became mad and forgot to respect the elderly. I talked back to him. The flow of words voluntarily jumped out of my lips. I knew the people around us might think I was crazy. But how could I not be crazy if he was adding more problems to my life? He was even talking to me though we were still having a class, and that was making me more irritated because I could not focus on teacher Jayne's discussion.

We were walking down the street back home when I realized it was getting boring without the buzzing in my ears. Perhaps it was time to talk with him insensately about what he really wanted from me. I also wanted to know more about the curse and how to get rid of it. so that he would stop following me like a shadow-or more than a shadow-because even though there was no light, he'd never leave.

I didn't have a friend anymore. I didn't know what happened to France Lim, because we lost communication since he dropped out of school. I knew he was always there in his house, playing games on his phone as if he had his own world. But though he had changed, I anticipated that we were still friends. I wouldn't say I needed a friend to live, but if there was someone who wanted to be friends with me, then I would accept it. It was also okay if there was no one, but life might be sweeter if there was.

"Lil, I know what you're thinking right now. I noticed that you don't have any friends and you are always alone. If you want, I can be your friend. Just think about it," Cain offered.

I wanted to tell him I didn't want to be friends with a demon, but when I tried to speak, what a motherfucker that there was no sound coming out of my lips. I didn't know what happened. I tried to speak many times, but I could not. It crossed my mind that perhaps Cain had totally made me mute because I was always making him bad with my words. He was so cruel that he added another problem I didn't know how to solve. "You're lulled there. What's wrong?" Cain innocently asked.

It seemed like he was pretending to know nothing about what happened or why I didn't reply to his offer, but it was difficult to believe that he didn't have a connection to why I could not speak. He was the only one who fought with me that day because I was always kind to others. Moreover, he was the only one who could perform magic.

I opened my lips and tried to say that I didn't want to be friends with him because he was so wicked and nobody wanted to. I didn't need a friend because I already had two. They were Leona and Jay Ward. Cain was only a problem for me, and he could not be a friend because he was always a foe. As a result, I recalled a poem told to me by teacher Jayne and written by the great poet William Shakespeare.

"He was thy friend, and he would assist thee in thy need. If you were sad, he would weep. If you awakened him, he would be unable to sleep. Thus, of every grief in your heart, he would bear a part. Those were certain signs to know a faithful friend from a flattering foe."

I realized I needed to hear Cain's explanation before judging him. I should consider him too, though he hadn't considered me before. He might have had a reason why he put a curse on me, and that was what I needed to hear. I needed to hear all of the words he wanted to say.

There were many things I didn't understand if I'd let his words enter my ear and exit to one side. So instead of saying that I didn't want to be friends with him, I took a pen and paper from my backpack. I wrote down on the paper what I wanted to say.

Perhaps he was only a flattering foe, and he could be a faithful friend. Though he was a spirit, there was a chance he had a conscience that was punishing him for his mistake with me.

I handed Cain the paper and let him read it. He looked at my face and asked if I had changed my mind, that I was so mad at him, and then I would say, I wanted to be friends with him.

Perhaps he didn't understand what I meant, that instead of befriending him, I was scolding him again, so I took the paper from his hand and wrote something on it, then I handed him the paper back. "Flattering foe?" An expression of curiosity appeared on his face.

I tried to say, "I mean that you might be a faithful friend instead of a flattering foe," and I was surprised when my voice came back.

Perhaps it wasn't true that my voice had gone and it was only a hallucination, so I did not ask Cain about this thing. He might be angry at me if I admitted that I suspected him to be the one who muted me, and he would totally do that.

"I also want to say something to you-sorry because I'm the one who muted you. I thought you would talk back bad words to me again." Cain frowned while admitting and apologizing for his presumption.

"What-you? Why did you muzzle me? Didn't you know that it was difficult to be muzzled? Why wouldn't you mute yourself so you can experience the sensation of being muted?" I asked in a mad manner. "I'm sorry. I did not mean to do it. Are you mad?"

"No, I'm not angry. I already knew you were the one who muted me because there was no one else or someone who could do that except you."

"How about your words? Do you really want to be friends with me?"

"Of course, I was only joking. I don't really want it!"

"What? Why?" He asked, dementedly.

"Of course I don't really want to be not friends with you."

"So, you also mean that you're trusting and conspiring with me?" "Maybe, but you should tell me first why you put this curse on me."