: Chapter 19
Phillip Dikeman, my family law attorney, frowned and shook his head. “I wish you’d come in sooner, Colby.”
“Maya just showed up four days ago, and this is the first appointment I could get to see you.”
He tossed the petition she’d given me on his desk. “I meant before Saylor’s mother waltzed back into your life.”
“Why would I have come in before she reappeared?”
“Because we could have terminated her parental rights by abandonment. New York only requires six months of absence to file a claim for involuntary termination of rights.”
I dragged a hand through my hair. “Fuck. I had no idea. When everything first went down, I met with my parents’ attorney. He told me I should file and get legal custody right away, but I guess I kept expecting Saylor’s mother to come back. When it eventually became clear that wasn’t going to happen, our life just sort of fell into place. No one ever asked me to prove I had custody of my daughter, and I don’t know… One day passed and then a week and suddenly my daughter was four.”
Phillip smiled and pointed to a framed picture on a shelf behind his desk. “Tell me about it. Mine just went to the movies with a boy last night. I swear she was four just yesterday.”
I shook my head. “How screwed am I?”
“I’m going to be straight with you. If she’s able to prove everything that’s in this petition, which I’m going to assume she can for a moment, there’s a good chance the court will give her some visitation. It will be limited and supervised, at least at first. But any judge we get is going to weigh what’s in the best interest of the child versus penalizing a parent for mistakes they’ve made. And barring a mother from seeing her daughter because she sought treatment for mental health issues—especially one who stayed away from the child out of fear she was not fit to parent—is not something a judge wants to do unless it’s absolutely necessary.”
“But it’s all bullshit! She didn’t keep away from Saylor because of any mental health issues! She admitted that to me. She kept away because she liked her life better without a kid. The only damn reason she came back is because she needs something. This has nothing to do with my daughter being better off with her mother in her life. Honestly, as much as I despise Maya, if she had come back with a true desire to see her daughter—really had some mental health issues and regretted leaving her the way she did—I’m not sure I would try to keep them apart. Saylor deserves a mother. But this woman—she doesn’t deserve Saylor. She’s doing this for the wrong reasons, and I need to do everything in my power to protect my daughter from that evil.”
Phillip nodded. “I get it. I really do. And I’m absolutely on board with fighting this every step of the way. I don’t want you to think I’m not, Colby. But the paperwork she’s got here paints a different story than the one you’re telling me. She has independent professionals swearing she suffered from a mental condition and has worked hard to get to a better place for the sake of her child. What do you have to prove your story is the one the judge should believe? Unfortunately, more often than not, it’s what you can prove is true and not what is actually true.”
I felt like throwing up. “So are you saying I should’ve recorded what Maya said to me? Unlike her, my mind doesn’t work that way. The last thing I was thinking about when she knocked on my door was building a legal defense.”
He shook his head. “Of course. And I’m not saying you needed to record her. In fact, even though New York is a one-party consent state—so only one person needs to consent to being recorded—it’s still inadmissible in court unless we can find an exception. Not much is black or white in the law, unfortunately. I’m just laying things out the way a judge is going to see them. We can absolutely have you testify that Maya has an ulterior motive, but it may come down to our word against hers.”
I dropped my head into my hands and yanked at my hair. “Jesus Christ. This is insane. What am I supposed to do? Marry her?”
“It wouldn’t be ethical for me to advise you to enter into a sham marriage for the sole purpose of securing a green card. But since the subject of marriage has been raised, and immigration is not an area I’m too familiar with, I took the liberty of reaching out to an immigration attorney in this building. Adam’s a friend of mine, and he’ll give you a free consultation. At least that way, you’ll have all the information you need to make an informed decision on how you’d like to proceed.”
An hour and a half later, my head was spinning as I walked out of the second attorney’s office. I wanted to run straight to the liquor store and drink until I couldn’t think anymore, but my little girl was at my parents’, and I knew Billie was anxious to hear how my appointment had gone, too. So I sucked it up and went to pick up my daughter.
“Hi. How did it go?” My mom opened the door looking almost as stressed as I felt. I probably shouldn’t have filled her in on everything when I dropped off Saylor earlier today, but she’d taken one look at me and been convinced I was hiding a terminal disease.
I walked inside and looked around. “Is Saylor taking a nap?”
Mom shook her head. “Your father took her out to the park.”
I nodded and pulled out a seat at the kitchen table, heaving a big sigh.
“I’m going to make us some tea,” Mom said.
“Thanks.”
A few minutes later, she set two mugs on the table and slid into the chair across from me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I frowned. “I want to rewind time and make it stay four days ago forever.”
“Not good news?”
I stared down into my tea. “I just can’t believe this is happening. My choices are basically to take my chances in a custody fight or marry a woman I loathe and chance up to five years in prison if I get caught attempting to marry someone for the sole purpose of evading immigration laws.”
My mother covered her heart with her hand. “Oh my.”
“Tell me about it…”
“Does the attorney think you would have a good chance at winning full custody?”
I shook my head. “He thinks Maya will get some sort of visitation. Which means I’d have to explain who she is to Saylor and risk Maya disappearing again once she got what she really wanted out of things. I can’t trust this woman with Saylor’s heart, Mom.”
“I never thought I’d tell my son to keep a mother from a child. But the reasons Maya has come back scare me, too. Any person who would use a child as a pawn to get what they want can’t be trusted with our Saylor’s well-being. I hate to say not to fight for what’s right, but sometimes it doesn’t matter who wins. The war itself does all the damage.”
My eyes welled up. “I don’t know what to do. But I can’t risk Saylor getting hurt in all this.”
My mother reached out and covered my hand with hers. “It sounds like you’ve already made a choice, son.”
I closed my eyes.
“How long would you have to stay married?” she asked.
“I met with an immigration attorney, and he said the process averages about nine months from the time the application is made. We’d have to go through interviews and stuff, which is where the risk of getting caught comes in. But the attorney didn’t seem too concerned with that since Maya and I have a four-year-old. I guess it helps to look like we’ve been together a while.”
Mom nodded. “Well, at least it wouldn’t interrupt your life for too long.” She forced a smile. “I guess the bright side is that you’re single, so there won’t be a third party involved to get hurt.”
Heaviness settled into my chest as I caught my mom’s eye. “I met someone, Mom. I was going to tell you about her.”
“Oh, Colby…”
“Her name is Billie, and she’s absolutely amazing. We’ve been circling around things for a while because she wanted to be sure before she got involved with someone who has a child. But I really think she could be the one.”
My mom smiled sadly. “I’m so happy to hear that. Though obviously the timing isn’t ideal.”
“Yeah…”
“What does Billie think about all of this?”
“I haven’t spoken to her about what the attorneys said today yet. But since the moment Maya knocked on my door, Billie’s priority seems to have been looking out for Saylor. Though I’m not sure she could handle things if I wind up marrying this psycho. I’m hoping to talk to her after Saylor goes to sleep tonight.”
Mom and I were both quiet for a moment before she squeezed my hand. “It sounds like this Billie has her priorities right. Why don’t you let Saylor stay over here tonight? We love having her, and I think you could use some time.”
I nodded. “That would be great, Mom. I’ll ask her when she and Dad get back, but I’m sure she’d love to spend the night.”
An hour later, I headed home without my daughter. Saylor had jumped up and down with excitement when I’d mentioned sleeping at my parents’. It was probably for the best, seeing as my little girl was already an expert at reading her old man. Since I had the entire evening to myself, I decided to walk the mile and a half home to my apartment. It was a nice night, and I hoped the fresh air would help clear my head. On my way, I stopped at a florist and picked up a bouquet of wildflowers for Billie, then took a leap of faith and picked up some fresh ravioli and bread, thinking maybe I could make her dinner and get her to spend the night. By the time I arrived at Billie’s Ink, I hadn’t worked out any of my problems, but I did figure out what I needed for the next twelve hours—a quiet night at home with my girl.
Justine greeted me as I walked into the shop. She took one look at the big bouquet in my hands and smiled. “She’s with a client. But any man who comes in looking like you do right now gets a free pass to the back.” She tilted her head toward the door. “Go make my boss’s day, cutie pie.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Justine.”
But my smile wilted damn fast when I got one look at what Billie was doing—tattooing some dude’s ass. Though her face lit up when she saw me standing there.
“Hey, you.” She took her foot from the pedal and lifted the needle from the guy’s skin. “I didn’t know you were stopping by.”
Deek winked at me. “You didn’t have to bring me flowers, big boy. I’m easy. Wine and lube is more my brand of romance.”
I chuckled and lifted my chin. “What’s up, Deek?”
The guy lying on his belly across Billie’s hydraulic chair looked up at her. “Can we take a piss break?”
“Yeah, sure. Just give me a second to cover your cheek with some plastic so the area stays sterile.”
When she was done, she told the guy not to pull up his underwear in the back. So I watched some man’s hairy ass walk to the bathroom with three quarters of a rose tattooed on it. Well, the left cheek was hairy, anyway. The right had been shaved.
Billie snapped off her gloves and sauntered over. “Are those for me?”
I leaned down and brushed my lips with hers. “There’re only two women in my life, and the other one prefers I bring unicorn-shaped bath bombs that shit glitter when they get wet.”
Billie grinned. “Shit glitter? I didn’t know that was a choice. I think you might be returning these beautiful flowers.”
I wrapped one arm around her back and pulled her close. “Will you have dinner with me?”
“That depends. What are you feeding me?”
“That’s a very loaded question…” I smiled and lifted the bag in my other hand. “But I’ll be good. How does fresh ravioli and semolina bread sound?”
“Mmmm…that sounds yummy.”
I brushed a lock of hair from her face. “My parents are keeping Saylor for the night. I was hoping maybe you could stay over.”
“I think that could be arranged…” Her client walked back from the bathroom, so she lowered her voice. “You want to step outside for a minute to talk about how things went at the lawyer’s office?”
I shook my head. “Let’s put off talking about that until morning. Maybe we spend the night pretending it never happened since it’s so rare that I get a whole night alone. I don’t want to waste a minute of it doing anything but focusing on you.”
Billie smiled. “That sounds amazing.”
“Great. What time are you done here?”
“Tex is my last customer. I should be done in about forty-five minutes.”
I looked over her shoulder. Tex was positioning himself ass up on her chair once again. “By the way, why does he get a rose tattooed on his ass, yet you wouldn’t put one on my chest when I asked you?”
“Because I don’t have to look at his ass all the time.”
“I asked you to ink a rose on me the first time we met. You didn’t know you were going to be looking at my bare chest all the time back then, either.”
Billie tilted her head with a devilish grin. “Are you sure about that?”
“Good answer.” I grinned. “You go finish up and enjoy that ass. But get yours upstairs as soon as you’re done.”
She pushed to her toes and gave me a quick peck on the lips. “Yes, sir.”
***
I pulled out all the stops to set tonight’s mood. By the time Billie knocked, I had two burners going, bread warming in the oven, soft music playing, and the table set with lit candles.
When I opened the door, she held out the flowers I’d given her down at the shop. “I brought you these.”
I smirked. “How thoughtful of you.”
Billie chuckled. “I didn’t want to leave them downstairs since I’m off tomorrow. Do you have a vase? I realized on the way up here that you might not. It’s usually men who are giving flowers, not getting.”
“I think I do. My mom sends me flowers for Father’s Day.”
“Awww… That’s so sweet.”
I took the bouquet from Billie’s hands, set it on the kitchen counter, and wrapped her in my arms. “Thank you for giving me this.”
“The flowers? I’ll let you in on a little secret… I sort of got them for free.” She smiled.
“I meant the night off from everything going on. The way I was feeling this afternoon, I didn’t think I’d be able to change my mood. But the idea of spending a night alone with you made it easier than I thought.”
Billie’s face softened. “I’m glad I can help.”
I rubbed my nose with hers. “You do. A lot.”
I poured us each a glass of wine, and Billie sat on the counter next to the stove while I finished cooking. “I brought us a game in case your mood needed some cheering up.”
“Oh yeah? What kind of game?”
She pointed to her purse on the chair. “Grab my bag, and I’ll show you.”
Billie dug out an oversized deck of cards from her purse and held them up, showing me the name on the front of the package.
I arched a brow. “Sex Trivia?”
“I bought them at that little bodega down the block that sells bongs and dirty magazines. They’re behind the counter at eye level, and I’ve been curious about them for a while.”
I grinned. “You shop in that place? I’ve only ever seen the stuff they sell from the outside.”
She gave me a look. “Don’t be so judgy. They have the best coffee, and it’s only a buck.”
I took the cards from her hand. “I’ll have to check it out. We have a little time before dinner is ready. What do you say we wager on this trivia game?”
“You haven’t even seen the first question yet, and you want to bet you’re going to win?”
I shrugged. “If I lose, I’ll eat you out for dessert. If you lose, I’ll eat you for an appetizer.”
“Umm… That sounds like I win even if I lose.”
“Do we have a deal?”
Billie smirked. “I’m never one to turn down a wager.”
I smiled. “That’s my girl.”
The first card out of the pack was an interesting one. I cleared my throat and read it aloud. “What position is the most likely to bring a woman to orgasm? A. Doggy style, B. Missionary, C. Reverse cowgirl, or D. Woman on top?”
Billie’s lips twisted as she thought about it. “Hmm… I’m going to go with D. Woman on top, because the woman has more control then.”
“Control, huh? Is that what you like?”
She nodded. “It usually is. But I really like it when you get all bossy. I think my trust issues have kept me from being able to enjoy giving a man control.”
I looked back and forth between her eyes. “That means a lot to me.”
“So what’s the correct answer?”
“You called it. Woman on top is the position that can most commonly bring women to orgasm.” I grinned. “Also, I can’t wait to have you ride me.”
Billie chuckled and plucked the card pack from my hands. “I believe the score is one to zero. Let’s see what we have here.” She scanned the next card. “A woman would rather A. Clean the house, B. Eat dinner, C. Play a trivia game, or D. Get fucked on the kitchen counter next to a pot of boiling ravioli.”
My brows pulled together for a half second before I caught on. Then I yanked the card from her hands and tossed it over my shoulder. “I’m gonna go with D.”
Billie wrapped her arms around my neck. “Solid guess. I like D.”
“That’s good, sweetheart. Because that’s exactly what you’re about to get.”
The ravioli would have to wait. I shut off the water that was just starting to boil and lifted Billie up onto the countertop, wrapping her legs around my waist. This was the first time we’d had free rein to do whatever we wanted in this apartment for an entire night, and I was here for it.
“I’m gonna have you for dinner first, okay?” I murmured.
Billie nodded as she lifted my shirt and I worked to undo the ties of her corset. Her beautiful, milky mounds popped out simultaneously, and I wasted no time taking her nipple into my mouth. I sucked so hard that she winced. Billie dug her long nails into my back before sliding her hands upward and pulling on my hair.
Hard as a rock, I couldn’t wait another second to be inside of her. I undid her jeans, and she wriggled out of them before kicking them to the floor. I unbuckled my belt and lowered my pants just enough to take my dick out. I couldn’t even wait the amount of time it would have taken to fully remove my pants. That’s how much I needed her right now.
Letting out an unintelligible sound, I buried myself inside of her. Her pussy felt like pure ecstasy. Billie’s muscles tightened around my cock as I thrust hard into her. I continued to hold her up as she bucked her hips. I must have been damn wound up today because it was as if I couldn’t fuck her hard enough. Billie didn’t seem to mind as she writhed under me, matching the rhythm of my thrusts.
She’d never felt tighter, wetter, or more ready for me. We’d both been under an incredible amount of stress this week, and this was just what the doctor ordered. We were so into it, that it took a moment to realize I’d never stopped to put a condom on. Billie had mentioned that she’d gone on the pill recently, but I needed to double-check that she was ready for this.
“Is this okay?” I asked. “I don’t have anything on.”
“Yes,” she panted. “I’m good.”
I groaned. “I didn’t think it could feel any better with you, but holy shit.”
“I know. I’ve never had sex without a condom.”
I stopped moving inside her for a moment. “Are you serious?”
She nodded.
“Wait…” I blinked. “I’m gonna be the first guy to come inside you?”
She bit her lip and nodded again.
“Damn. You have no idea what that does to me.” I pushed inside again.
She yanked on my hair. “Don’t stop again, please.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I pumped harder.
You could hear the slick sounds of our wetness as I moved in and out. When I felt her muscles contract, I couldn’t wait a second longer. I grunted, burying myself deep as I came. She continued to tighten around me as her head bent back, and her voice echoed throughout the kitchen as she orgasmed. I kept moving in and out until there was nothing left, then stayed inside her for a while as her ass rested against the counter.
She panted. “We’d better clean this countertop.”
“Never mind the countertop, but I should go get you a towel. I kind of like the idea of my cum inside you, though.”
She spoke into my skin. “We can arrange for a refill later.”
“I love the sound of that.” I reached over to pull a towel from the drawer, gently placing it under her as I showered her neck with kisses.
“I have an idea,” I said.
“What?”
“You go take a relaxing bath. I’ll finish making dinner. Then we’ll take it into my room and eat naked in bed. How does that sound?”
“That sounds like the perfect night.”
Rather than rush to the bathroom, Billie lingered, her arms still wrapped around my neck as she gazed into my eyes. I realized that there had been few moments in my life as special as this one: standing here half-naked in the kitchen with this beautiful woman I’d just made love to, who trusted me to come inside of her beautiful body.
This might have not been a classically romantic moment, but it felt like the right time to tell her. “I’m falling for you, Billie.”
My heart was in my mouth as she stared at me for several seconds. What if she doesn’t feel the same? Or what if she’s afraid to love me given everything that’s going on lately?
She finally said, “You’re not alone, Colby. I just didn’t want to be the first to express what I’ve been feeling. I think I’ve been hesitant because I’m afraid if I fall, you might not be there to catch me. Which is dumb, I know. I’ve let my past experiences interfere with what’s going on between us. I should’ve told you before you went to have breakfast with that witch because that was the day it really hit me how much my feelings had grown. I knew because the thought of you hurting made me physically ill. Anyway, I’m sorry to bring all that up right now. I know we’re supposed to be forgetting about it for one night.”
I pulled her into a kiss and whispered over her mouth, “I’ll be here to catch you always, Billie.”
“I believe you, Colby.”
I refrained from saying the other thing I wanted to: I wish it were you who needed me to marry you.