The Rules of Dating

“Shoot.” My damn cell phone was dead again.

I looked around Kaiden’s kitchen for a charger. He usually kept one on the counter, but it wasn’t there today. So I headed to the bathroom, where he was currently showering, to ask him where it was. On my way, I noticed his phone charging on the nightstand. It was fully charged, so I unplugged it and stuck mine on the charger instead. Then his buzzed, and a Tinder notification popped up.

My heart sank.

Why would Kaiden be getting a notification from Tinder? Sure, we’d met on there a few months ago, and I had the app on my phone, too, but I’d stopped getting notifications right after I put my account into temporary deactivation. We were supposed to be exclusive.

Maybe someone he’d been talking to before we met had reached out? I wanted to ignore it and give him the benefit of the doubt in the worst way. But my dating history wouldn’t let me. I had been burned before…badly. So rather than be the trusting girlfriend, I listened to make sure the shower was still running and then typed in his code—6969. I’d laughed when I noticed him typing it in once. But maybe I should have seen it as a red flag, representative of the dude’s relationship maturity.

Inside the app, he had a shitload of messages, so I went to the one marked new and opened it.

Katrina: I can’t wait to meet you, too.

Three obnoxious emojis followed: kissy lips, a heart, and a cocktail glass. Scanning back, they’d been talking for a while, and the last message had been sent by Kaiden only an hour ago. My heart started to pound. I felt like marching into the shower and drowning the bastard. But instead, I kept swiping. A sick feeling came over me as I read through the endless stream of conversations he’d been having. In the last week alone, the jerk had messaged with twelve women. One would have been bad enough, but twelve? Then I noticed his profile picture. Something about it looked familiar. I zoomed in for a closer inspection and realized why. I’d taken it! The asshole had cropped me out.

My face was so hot, it felt like steam might start billowing out of my ears. And today of all days. It was Kaiden’s birthday, so I’d closed my shop early and rushed home to bake cupcakes before coming over.

First off, I didn’t bake. And I certainly didn’t close my shop early ever.

I’d also spent two weeks working on his gift—artwork for a custom tattoo he wanted to be surprised with. Do you know how stressful it is to design something for someone who gives you no idea what they want and doesn’t want to see it until after it’s permanently inked on their skin?

Grrrr. I wanted to scream.

But I didn’t. Instead, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and slowly counted to ten. When I was done, I felt no better. I definitely still wanted to rip Kaiden’s head off. But in that moment, it hit me that there was something other than yelling and screaming that would make me feel better. And that was revenge.

So I came up with a plan. First, I typed a message back to the last woman he’d been messaging with. Then I copied and pasted it to the eleven other unsuspecting women he was actively chatting up. When I was done, I plugged his phone back into the charger. But what if the ladies responded to my messages? That would inevitably cause a notification to pop up and tip him off about what was coming.

I couldn’t have that happen, so I had to make a slight adjustment to my plans. Grabbing his cell, I wound my arm up and smashed the damn thing into the corner of his nightstand. After that, the phone no longer turned on, and I had to admit, the giant crack in his screen made me feel infinitesimally better.

When Kaiden walked out of the bathroom just two minutes later, my heart was still racing. Yet I knew what I had to do in order to pull this off. Sticking out my bottom lip, I hid the phone behind my back and offered my best puppy-dog pout.

“Sweetie, I’m so sorry. I accidentally broke something. I feel terrible.”

He had a white towel wrapped around his waist and used a second one to dry his hair. “It’s alright. What did you break?”

I held out his phone. “Your cell.”

Kaiden’s face fell. “Oh. Shit. How’d you do that? It looks like it was smashed against a rock.”

Not quite. But close… “I’m such a klutz. I heard it ringing from the other room, so I ran in to grab it and bring it to you. I didn’t want you to miss a call since it was probably birthday wishes. But on my way to the bathroom, I tripped and fell against the bed post. The phone took the brunt of it. I’m sorry. I’ll get you a new screen after we’re done at the shop later.” Or when hell freezes over…

“I have AppleCare, so don’t worry about it.”

Yeah, I wasn’t…

An hour later, we arrived at my tattoo shop. I’d blocked off all the appointment slots for the evening so I could work on Kaiden’s birthday present without distractions. Sadly, the art I’d come up with—a sexy pin-up girl I was certain he’d love—might’ve been my best work ever. Normally, a Friday night would be pretty busy at Billie’s Ink, with me and at least one other artist working until after midnight. But since I’d given everyone the evening off, it was only my receptionist, Justine, at the desk when we walked in.

“Hey, guys.” She smiled. “Happy birthday, Kaiden.”

“Thank you.”

“So did Billie let you peek at your artwork yet?”

Kaiden shook his head. “Nope. I want it to be a surprise.”

Justine rested her chin on her hands, looking starry-eyed. “There’s something so romantic about letting your girlfriend give you a blind tattoo.”

That sentiment made me snort-laugh, and I had to cover it with a fake cough. It was romantic alright, or in this case, really fucking stupid. Tomayto—tomahto.

I cleared my throat. “Justine, I know I said you could get out of here by six tonight, but do you think you can stay a little later? I have…” I smiled at Kaiden. “A surprise coming. Actually, multiple surprises.”

The idiot beamed.

“Sure,” Justine said. “Not a problem. I can stay as long as you need.”

“Thanks. Let me just get the birthday boy settled in, and I’ll come back out to tell you what’s happening.”

I led Kaiden into the back and told him to get comfy in my chair. Then I put on music—a little louder than usual—so he wouldn’t be able to hear anything going on in reception, and smiled sweetly, telling him I’d be back in a few minutes to start.

I scurried to the front. “So…” I bit my lip as I spoke to Justine. “I hope you’re in the mood for some trouble.”

She grinned. “You know I’m always in the mood for trouble. What kind you got brewing?”

In hushed tones, I filled her in on what I’d found on Kaiden’s phone. Her jaw was on the floor even before I got to the troublesome part. “And I invited them all out to drinks tonight.”

Her forehead wrinkled. “Who?”

“The women he was talking to on Tinder.”

“All of them?”

“All twelve of them. I have no idea how many are going to show up, but I told them to meet me here. Well, not me, considering I was pretending to be Kaiden, but you know what I mean.”

Justine’s eyes bulged. “Twelve women from Tinder are coming to meet Kaiden here?”

I nodded. “I told them he was getting a birthday tattoo tomorrow and wanted their help picking it out before they go for drinks at the bar down the block.”

Justine covered her mouth. “Oh my God. What are you going to do when they get here?”

“I have a few hours, so I’m hoping I can finish his tattoo and bring him out to do the reveal for both him and the ladies at the same time.”

Justine frowned. “That tattoo you drew is gorgeous. It’s too good for that jerk’s lying, cheating skin.”

I smiled. “Oh, that’s another thing—there’s a little change of plans for the birthday tattoo. I actually need you to whip me up a stencil, if you can?”

Her eyes glinted. “Sure.”

I pulled my phone out and typed into the search engine before I turned the cell to face Justine.

“I’d like a stencil of this, please.”

Her brows dipped together, and then her eyes went wide. “You’re going to tattoo the Tinder logo on Kaiden?”

I grinned. “He said anything I want…”

Justine cracked up. “You are so fucking insane. I love it! Can I video the entire thing, please? That shit will definitely go viral.”

“Absolutely. I would consider posting that on social media as a public service. Maybe it will make other men think twice about cheating.”

“What do I tell the women when they come in?”

“That’s going to be a little tricky. We need to keep them from talking. Why don’t you give them each a tattoo book? Tell them Kaiden called and said he would be a few minutes late, so they should look through and see if they find something they like. We must have a dozen portfolios between mine and Deek’s. Though you’ll have to talk quietly since the desk isn’t too far from the waiting area.”

“I’ll figure it out.” She shook her head and blew out two cheeks full of air. “This is going to be freaking epic.”

I nodded. “Oh, it’s going to be something, alright.”

**

Kaiden fell asleep.

It was laughable, really. People did occasionally conk out in the chair, but usually it was a woman nervous about getting her first ink who’d popped a Xanax before coming into the shop. I never thought the fuckwad birthday boy would take a nap. Though I was grateful he did.

When I first started pressing the pedal, he’d rested his free hand on my thigh. I’d managed to remove it, telling him he needed to stay in the same position I’d put him in. But I worried that next time his hand would find its way to my ass, and I’d wind up punching him in the face. Not having him watch my every move also made the job so much easier. I didn’t have to worry about him sneaking a peek of what I was doing in the mirror, and I was even able to bandage him up before he stirred.

For the last twenty minutes, Justine had been texting me from the lobby to keep me updated. Apparently eight women had showed up and were currently sitting just thirty feet away on the other side of my studio door, waiting to meet their handsome Tinder date. I swear, it felt like I had an electric current running through my body. I had to take a few deep breaths before waking Prince Charming.

“Hey.” I plastered on my best fake smile and nudged Kaiden’s shoulder. “Sleepyhead, it’s time to get up.”

His eyes blinked open. For a few heartbeats, he looked lost, but then he lifted his head and looked over at his arm. “Shit. I fell asleep?”

“You did indeed.”

“How long was I out for?”

“Oh…hours.”

He raked a hand through his hair. “You’re finished already?”

“Yep. I can’t wait for you to see it.”

He sat up in the chair. “You shouldn’t have bandaged it up.”

“I want to keep it a surprise a little longer. Justine’s still here, so I asked her to take a video of the big moment. I want to be able to watch your mind-blown face over and over.”

“Alright.” He smiled. “Thanks, babe.”

“It was my pleasure, trust me.”

My heart ricocheted as I walked toward the lobby. Kaiden followed. The moment I opened the door, Justine jumped up from her seat and blocked my path. “There’s a customer here. A real customer,” she hissed. “I was just trying to get rid of him.”

I looked around her toward the front. Sure enough, a random guy was standing at the desk. He was dressed in a suit, with the knot of his tie loosened. He looked sort of like a cute narc. God, please don’t let him be a cop. Beyond him, most of the chairs were filled with women, all of whom were now looking our way. One smiled and stood. There was no way I’d be able to stall the explosion about to happen, so this poor random dude was about to get a lot more than he’d bargained for.

Kaiden looked at the guy waiting at the counter and the people filling the lobby. “I thought you were closed tonight, babe?”

“I, uh, I invited some friends for the big reveal.” Grabbing his hand, I took one last deep breath and pulled him out into the lobby. Once I was in the center of the room, with all eyes on me, my legs started to shake. Kaiden looked around at all the women, his gaze snagging on one particular blonde as he seemed to work to place her face. This thing was going to self-implode if I didn’t detonate the bomb myself.

So I cleared my throat.

“Ladies, this is my boyfriend, Kaiden. Today is his birthday, and I wanted to do something special for him. Since he and I have such a wonderful relationship and share so much trust, he let me pick the tattoo that will forever grace his body. He hasn’t seen it yet, but I think all of you will agree that it’s the most fitting ink I could have given him.”

My hands shook as I reached up and peeled the tape off Kaiden’s bicep. Once the bandage was off, there was no going back. The giant pink flame symbol had to be six inches wide by six inches long—you couldn’t miss it from down the block. Everything that came after that seemed to happen in slow motion.

Kaiden looked down. His face wrinkled in confusion. “What the hell is that?”

One of the Tinder ladies covered her mouth. “Oh my God. It’s the Tinder logo. Holy shit! Did this really just happen?”

Kaiden pulled his arm forward to get a better look. “What the fuck, Billie?”

My hands flew to my hips. “Don’t what the fuck me!” I waved my hands around the room. “Don’t you even recognize any of these women?”

He scanned the lobby…the first face, then the second. When he got to the third woman, his eyes flared, and he blinked a few times. Then his eyes darted from person to person as everything seeped in. Kaiden closed his eyes. “What the fuck did you do?”

“What the fuck did I do?” I screeched. “Let’s see. I made you dinner when you had to work late. I rubbed your back when you said you’d had a hard day on the job site. I even picked up your brother from the airport when he came to visit. But I guess what’s most important here is that I believed you when you said you wanted a relationship and were falling in love with me.”

Kaiden reached for me. I took two steps back and held my hands up. “Don’t touch me.”

“I can explain.”

For some reason, that made me even more irate. As if there could be any explanation for his behavior. I lost it then. Pointing to the door, I screamed at the top of my lungs. “Get out! Get the fuck out!”

I’d been talking to Kaiden, yet one of the women bolted to the door and practically fell out onto the sidewalk.

“Good. Yes.” I nodded. “Good idea. All of you, get the fuck out of my shop! Noooow!”

If I’d been in the right frame of mind, I might’ve appreciated the humor in the scene unfolding. A six-foot-two, two-hundred-and-thirty-pound tattooed man made a beeline for the door—running away from a five-foot-one lunatic who’d just tattooed a giant pink Tinder flame logo on his arm. He was so nervous he almost trampled a few of the Tinder bitches to get out the door.

Once the last of them was on the street, I closed the door, closed my eyes, and tried to calm down.

Then a man’s voice sprung my eyes back open.

“Uh… I guess this isn’t a good time,” the cute narc said, the one person besides Justine and me remaining in my shop.

“Yeah, probably not,” Justine murmured. “Maybe come back another day.”

But I’d snapped, and it was going to take more than Kaiden leaving to glue me back together. I marched over to the counter with a deranged smile. “No, don’t go. What would you like me to tattoo on you?” My voice went eerily flat. Also, for some reason, my eyes were no longer blinking.

He looked a little nervous. “Uhh… I’m not sure.”

I tilted my head. “No? Then let me help you. Where do you get the women you fuck behind your girlfriend’s back? How about the Bumble logo?” I lifted a finger into the air. “Or maybe Plenty of Fish in the Sea? That’s kind of cute. A colorful little fish? Or maybe Hinge? I can probably knock an H out in fifteen, maybe twenty minutes.”

The poor guy just kept staring at me.

I put my hands on my hips. “Well, what’s it going to be? I don’t have all day.”

I noticed he had a piece of paper in his hand. It looked like there was a picture on it. I snatched it and started to laugh maniacally. “A rose? A fucking rose. How cliché can you be? You must already have an infinity symbol, huh?” I tossed the paper at the guy. He made no attempt to catch it.

“You know what?” He thumbed toward the door. “I’m just going to go…”

“Good! You’re probably an asshole too! You know how I know? Because you’re all assholes.”

The guy smiled sadly at Justine. “Thanks for your help.” He pulled open the door, but stopped before walking through. “I’m guessing you must be Billie?”

When I didn’t answer, he shook his head. “Okay then. It was nice to meet you. By the way, I’m Colby Lennon, your new landlord.”