The Rules of Dating a Younger Man

Three months.

That’s how long it had been since I’d looked into his eyes. Since I’d smelled him. Touched him. Heard his voice. Three months since he’d…been inside of me. Just thinking about the weekend Brayden and I had sex sent shivers through my body.

Not a day went by that I didn’t think about him. That’s for damn sure. Actually, not an hour went by. Brayden was still the first thing that popped into my mind when I woke up in the morning and the last thing I thought about as I drifted off to sleep at night. I missed him more every day. And I didn’t know if it would ever get any easier.

That last weekend in Seneca Falls, Brayden and I had gone our separate ways shortly after we got the stop-work order. I’d taken that unexpected development as a sign that ending things was still the right decision—even after the best sex of my life. Even after he’d told me he loved me. I’d kept those three words inside of me instead of returning them, despite longing to blurt them out before I left. There was still an ache in my chest from having to hold them in. And those words were still there, begging to come out. The love was still there. It was burning a hole in my heart.

What surprised me most about the past few months was that neither Brayden nor I had given in and contacted the other. I’d expected him to call or message me, but he hadn’t. It wasn’t that I wanted him to call, because that would complicate things. Lord knows I’d had to stop myself from calling or texting him multiple times. Every time I got the urge to contact him, I reminded myself that it would only make the current situation harder. We were done. There was no need to torture ourselves.

One of the things that worked best to remind me that I’d made the right decision was spending time with Caitlin. I’d been making more of an effort to schedule with her lately. Today she and I had gone to a local nail salon for mani-pedis.

Caitlin sat next to me, immersed in a magazine as we both got our feet done before we’d eventually move over to the manicure stations. Before this, we’d gone to lunch at her favorite sushi place. As the woman worked on my feet, I found myself deep in thought. Not meditating, as I’d hoped to in this seat, but mostly thinking about everything I’d kept secret from Caitlin.

The friction from the loofa gliding across the bottom of my foot wasn’t enough to snap me out of it. As much as I loved spending time with Caitlin, guilt always crept in that I hadn’t told her Brayden and I had slept together. I’d convinced myself she didn’t need to know, since I’d vowed to stay away from him. Why make her uncomfortable with that information if we were truly over?

Over. If only it were that simple. Maybe this would be easier if Brayden hadn’t told me he loved me. Those words haunted me. I hadn’t been expecting a declaration of love. I’d known his feelings were strong… But love? He loved me. I realized I’d known I loved him for some time before that, even if I couldn’t fully admit it to myself. But I’d never imagined that he felt the same way. It made ending things so much more bittersweet. Though we couldn’t be together, I’d always be touched that he’d cared so much.

Caitlin’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “Hey, what are you thinking about over there? You’re totally spaced out.”

I turned to find she had closed her magazine and was looking at me—for God knows how long.

“Just enjoying this quiet time.” I cleared my throat.

“You’re in la-la land. We usually talk while we’re here, use the time to catch up. It’s one of my favorite things about getting our nails done together.”

I shook my head. “Sorry… I suppose I was caught up in my thoughts.”

“Is something going on?”

I swallowed. “Nothing bad or anything.”

“Is it about Brayden?”

I tensed. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I’m not stupid. You told me you’d ended things the last time you saw him, but I know you downplayed it—for my sake. Which I truly hate, by the way.” She raised a brow. “Did you hear from him again? Is that why you’re preoccupied?”

“No. We haven’t spoken since Seneca Falls…since we lost the permit.”

“It’s a shame that happened,” she said. “I have a feeling if you had kept seeing him, the two of you would have ended up together.”

“Actually I was thinking the opposite,” I told her. “It was a damn good thing they stopped work on the house because it basically solved my problem for me. The dilemma was never whether I needed to stop seeing him, but rather how I was going to make that work while having to see him week after week.”

Caitlin looked down at the man working on her feet for a moment, then back up at me. “I don’t understand why you didn’t listen when I told you it didn’t bother me. It was a shock at first, and I didn’t handle it well—I’m sorry for that. But I would’ve been okay with it. Your happiness is worth any little discomfort that was left.”

The two nail techs seemed to pause at the same time to look up at us before returning their attention to our feet. This soap opera had apparently garnered their interest.

I lowered my voice. “I do believe you felt okay with it when you said that. If I had moved forward with that relationship, though, once the reality set in—you had to see us together and spend time with us—it would’ve bothered you, whether you realize that now or not. But it’s all a moot point, Caitlin, truly. It’s over.”

Her eyes lingered on mine. “I don’t know. I don’t feel like it’s over in your head. It’s especially not over in your heart. I still see the look on your face when you talk about him. It’s not like any other expression you have. You really care about him.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry if I’m not very good at hiding it. But I made a decision, and I’m sticking with it, okay? I need you to respect that. I’m not gonna lie. It hasn’t been easy. But I’m hoping as time goes on, it will get easier. It’s been three months.” Three excruciating months. I pressed a button to turn on the massage chair. “For all I know, he’s dating someone else now. The sooner I can move on, the better. You insinuating that I made the wrong decision isn’t helping. It doesn’t change anything.”

She frowned. “I’m sorry. You did what you felt you had to do. I don’t agree, but I know it was a sacrifice for me…because you thought it’s what I needed. I just wish things were different. I want you to be happy.”

“I know,” I muttered, looking down as the woman applied a bright pink polish to my toes. I shook my head. “I think we need to move on to a lighter subject.”

“Okay. Lighter subject.” Caitlin grinned. “We’ve got to get you on a dating app.”

“Ugh. That’s not lighter.” I laughed. “That’s torture.”

“Well, it’s something we should talk about. I agree that it’s not exactly fun out there—believe me, I know. But it’s kind of necessary if you’re going to get over him.”

I sighed again. “Wells has been trying to convince me too. I’m certain one of these days he’s just going to set up the dating profile for me, if he hasn’t already.”

“Count me in on that. I can help him. I’ll tone down his crazy write-up. Because you know Wells will go off the rails with that shit.”

“Can you imagine if he had total control? These men would think I liked my nipples clamped and my ass whipped.”

Caitlin laughed. “Maybe I should have him set up mine.”

I chuckled. “I’ll be seeing Wells tonight, so I can pass along the message.”

She wiped the corner of her eye. “Are you guys going anywhere good?”

“I’m meeting him at Casablanca’s. He’s dating a new guy. Name is Winston. He wants me to meet him.”

“Winston sounds like a dog’s name.” She giggled. “So, third wheel, then?”

“Yeah. Winston will be the third wheel.” I winked.

“Yeah. That’s always the way with you and Funcle Wellsy.” She smiled.

The nail techs moved us over to the manicure station where we spent the rest of our time quietly enjoying our pampering while we watched the Food Network show they had playing on multiple televisions. As I looked up at a woman decorating a cake, I thought about what to wear later to meet Wells’s new boy-toy. A simple black dress seemed like the right fit. Maybe a pop of red.

Ever since Brayden and I had ended things, I’d felt a little guilty around Wells, too. I hadn’t told him that Brayden and I had slept together back in Seneca Falls either. Wells would think I was absolutely crazy for ending things if he knew Brayden had told me he loved me. Wells had always advocated for me to put myself first, even before he knew Brayden felt that way about me. With more details, he would most definitely lecture me on making a huge mistake. I didn’t want to hear it. So as of now, my last amazing night with Brayden remained my secret. Someday I’d tell Wells everything. Just not anytime soon.

After our manicures, Caitlin and I moved to the nail drying station. She admired my bright pink nails. “I love that color. What’s it called? I want to find it online.”

I got the tech’s attention. “Excuse me. Can you tell me the name of this color?”

The woman went over to the shelf to retrieve the hot pink polish and looked at the bottom. “It’s called Mrs. Robinson,” she yelled over.

Mrs. Robinson?

My mouth fell open. Caitlin burst into laughter, and I couldn’t help but crack up myself.

It felt good.

***

The second I spotted Wells’s table as I entered Casablanca’s later that night, I regretted agreeing to come out. There were two men with him, one sitting on either side. Is this a setup? This dinner was supposed to be about me meeting his new guy. This other guy had better be one of their gay friends.

“You’re late, Kitten,” Wells chided.

“Yeah, well, I figured I’d give you two some alone time before I crashed your dinner, but I see you aren’t alone.”

Wells pointed to his new boyfriend. “This is Winston.” He gestured to me. “Winston, meet my best friend, Alex.”

Winston offered me a hug. “It’s a pleasure, sweetheart. I’ve heard so much about you.”

He had red hair and freckles and was a good bit shorter than Wells.

Winston turned to the other dude. “And this is my big brother, Everett. He came to hang with us tonight.”

Everett stood. He, unlike his little brother, was really tall and dressed in a suit, more formal than the rest of us. Also unlike his brother, he had sandy brown hair.

Everett held out his hand. “It’s so great to meet you, Alex.”

“You as well.” I nodded. “I’ve heard so many wonderful things about your brother.”

“That’s how it always goes.” Everett smacked Winston on the arm playfully. “Little bro here gets all the glory. Thankfully, we’ve never had to compete for the ladies.”

“I didn’t realize you were coming out with us tonight,” I told him, giving Wells a look. I sat down and placed a napkin in my lap.

“Wells tells me you’re his rock,” Winston said, pointing his wine glass toward me. “I’ve been excited all day to meet the famous Alex.”

I wanted to kill Wells, but I smiled over at him. He looked happy, which made me happy.

I dug deep and sucked it up over a glass of wine, and then I did my best at getting to know both of the guys during dinner.

But I was still pissed that Wells had caught me off guard. So when my BFF got up to visit the bathroom, I excused myself as well and waited for him outside the men’s room. The moment he came out, I crossed my arms. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Trying to help you get some, what any caring friend would do.”

“You could’ve given me a little warning. I had no idea this was a blind date tonight.”

“A warning? Why? So you could’ve made up an excuse to not come? That’s exactly what you would’ve done, Alex. You know it.”

I looked over my shoulder and back at him. “You’re right. Because I have no interest in dating right now. I’ve already told you that.”

“Do I have to remind you that it’s been ages since you’ve gotten laid?”

Not exactly. Flashes of the rough sex I’d had with Brayden ran through my mind. My body tingled. Jesus. My face suddenly felt flushed.

Wells’s eyes widened. “You little wench.”

I cleared my throat. “What?” God, apparently, I had no ability to hold this in any longer.

“You had sex…”

It was one thing to keep it a secret. It was another to lie to his face. I couldn’t do it. “Maybe.” I bit my bottom lip.

“It’s a yes or no answer, Alex.”

I sighed. “It hasn’t been ages, okay? So I’m…not in need of any help.”

“I don’t care if Winston thinks I’m screwing that hot waiter in the bathroom. I’m not returning to the table until you tell me what happened.”

“Brayden and I slept together the last time we were upstate,” I confessed. “There. You have it.”

“Holy shit.” He put his hands on my shoulders and shook me. “You’ve been keeping this from me for three fucking months?”

“I didn’t realize I was obligated to tell you every last detail about my life.”

“Woman, I know more about you than you do.” He scratched his chin. “But if you were keeping this a secret, there’s a reason. You wouldn’t normally hide something this monumental from me.”

“I didn’t want you to tell me I was making a mistake,” I admitted.

“You didn’t want me to tell you what you already know. Because me telling you that wouldn’t bother you if it wasn’t the truth.”

My neck felt hot. “Can we not discuss this here?”

“Fine. We have to get back to the table. I just want to say one last thing.”

“What?”

“If you’re going to be stupid about Brayden and throw away something that means a lot to you, at the very least, please entertain the idea of Winston’s perfectly handsome, successful, eligible brother.”

“There’s nothing wrong with Everett. It’s just that…” My words trailed off.

He smirked. “He’s not Brayden. That’s what you wanted to say, right?”

I sighed. “What do you want from me?”

“I want you to be honest with yourself. It doesn’t matter what you’re telling me. But when you’re lying to yourself, Alex, that’s a huge problem. That will always come back to bite you in the ass. What if you wake up in two years and realize you made a mistake, but then it’s too late? A guy like Brayden isn’t gonna stay on the market for very long—I’ll tell you that. And no offense, but you’re not getting any younger.”

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for that, Captain Obvious.”

“You can always count on me for the truth, babe.”

“I can always count on you to screw with me, too, which is what you did by tricking me into this date!”

“Everything I do, I do because I love you.” He smiled. “You know that, right?”

I sighed. “I do know that.”

He put his hand on my shoulder. “Try to have some fun tonight, okay?”

I shrugged. “I’ll see if I can find it in me.”

He wriggled his brows. “There was a major thing in you I apparently didn’t know about.”

Laughing, I smacked him.

“Was it as good as I imagine?” he asked.

“Far, far better.”

“Damn.” He exhaled, putting his arm around me as we walked. “One can dream…”

After we returned to the table, I forced myself to engage in conversation with Everett and try to think about something besides Brayden.

Before we left the restaurant, Everett and I exchanged numbers. It turned out he was quite nice. He owned a furniture store and was divorced with two children. Everett also indicated he was done having kids. That was another plus in his column. I didn’t want to get involved with anyone who wanted children. Like Brayden.

My heart clenched. There I was thinking about him again.