SWNOVELS Chapter CHAPTER 1
It’s been two months since the funeral and I am lying in a bath, tired to the bone, as I could not sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see his face, his eyes it is terrifying. The police report said that it was a wild bear attack, but I can’t get myself to believe it, it just doesn’t add up. If it was a bear, they would surely have shot it and those claw marks were definitely not bear like.
I made a promise to myself that I will find out what happen and I will avenge my husband, but now I need to focus on my Violet my beautiful Violet with her hazel eyes and pitch black hair just like her father, she need my help now.
She has been getting into trouble at school; she is fighting with everybody about just anything. I remember the school calling me in, about a week ago, telling me she broke another girl’s nose and when I asked her she just pull her shoulders up and said “The girl was looking at me too long and I didn’t like it.” I was speechless my loving daughter that would not even hurt a fly now hitting people for no reason at all, but I can hardly blame her as I also been acting out at work, fighting with everybody being rude to everybody for no reason at all.
We have both been angry since that day, angry at the world, angry at the universe, just angry. It felt like this warm flame of anger eating us alive and no matter how hard we try it just keeps on growing. Then there is this voice, if you can call it that, in my head saying that everything happened for a reason. We just need to fight and we will get the answers. Fight what, were, how, I don’t understand and it is fueling my anger.
As my daughter and I were sitting at the breakfast table, getting ready to start yet another day. I could not help but to stare at her. She was so deep in thought she didn’t even notice me staring. As she looked up, I almost spit my coffee out. I swore her eyes turned from dark brown to an almost laminose brown. I blink my eyes twice and there it was, back to the normal rich dark brown.
What the hell! I shake my head; it must be the lack of sleep. I need to do something we cannot go on like this. I know there is nothing in this world that could replace him, but we needed to move on or we will kill ourselves. With that thought, I drop my daughter at school and went to work.
As I was busying myself with work trying to get my mind of the turmoil my life is in, I read through my emails and soon an advert for Martial arts classes came up. The little that I knew about this was that it helps the mind and soul, as well as helping to defend yourselves if needed. Well, that could work. Something else to focus our anger and depression on.
I made the call and was met by a man’s voice on the other side. “Hallo Chin speaking.” His voice sounded young and innocent. “Hallo, I’m Scarlet; I was wondering about the classes’ which you are advertising.” “Yes mam, what do you want to know about them?” “Well, when is the class and what will it cost?” “It depends on the quantity of people that will join the class. The more people, the more discounts you will receive.” “It is only my daughter and I that will be joining.” “Have you done Martial arts classes before or is this your first time mam” Can’t this guy just give me the price already? I am really getting irritated with these questions, but I count to ten and answer him. “No, sir, we have done nothing like this. It will be our first.” “Do you want to take these classes just for self-defense, or is it more spiritual?” There I just lost it... “Just give me the damn price!” I half yelled to the poor man and everyone in the office turned to look at me. I glared back at everyone and they soon turned back to what they were busy with.
“I am so sorry sir... it’s just....” “No need to apologize mam we all have something that can make us want to break the world. The classes will be two hundred dollars per week for you and your daughter, and it will be for three hours, three times a week.” What the hell is this guy for real? That is a lot of money and time. I don’t want to become a ninja. I just want a good way of releasing my anger and be able to defend myself and my daughter. “Mam are you still there?” “O sorry, I was just wondering if three hours really were necessary? I mean, I just want to learn how to defend myself and get some of the anger out on the punching bags.” “Mam then I will suggest that you go to a normal gym and maybe see a psychiatrist.” O now he is just being cocky. I hear a sigh on the other side of the line before he spoke again, “Mam Martial arts is more than just exercise and defense, it is seeing the world in a whole other way, of finding inner peace. You have to be mentally and physically fit to do it, and that takes time.”
After he said that, I had to bite my lip not to laugh. O hell, this guy is in for a rude awakening. I am as mentally fit as he is pregnant. “Mam if you decide to do this training, the best will be to do it on Monday’s, Wednesday’s and Fridays how late will be up to you.” “O what the hell let’s try to see what happens.” Did I just say that out loud, oops and I hear a sigh on the other end again. “I work until two and my daughter has school, so let’s say from half-past three.” “That will be fine, we will start on Monday or do you want to start today as it is Friday?” “No-no Monday is good I have to speak to my daughter about this as well, so we will see you on Monday then.” “That will be fine with me Scarlet, see you then.” “Good bye.” “Bye.” and with that I end the call.
O hell, I know my daughter is going to go crazy, not in the good way, when I tell her about this. She was crazy, but I cannot find it in me to blame her. I felt the same. After a long and tiring day at work, I go pick up Violet at school and went home, all the while thinking of how I am going to break the news to her. At home I got busy in the kitchen and as per usual, she sits at the island just watching me, seeing that I sneak nothing into her food that she doesn’t like. It’s been a while since we had a decent conversation. Usually, it ends with us screaming at each other.
“So Princess, how was school today? Anything interesting happened?” “Nope....” “What did you do in school today?” “Nothing.....” Seriously, what do I have to do to get over one word out of her, she is not even a proper teenager yet, and this is her attitude, what the hell am I going to do when she becomes a woman. I turn my attention back to the food as I broke the news to her. I signed us up for classes. She gave me one of her death glares as she was waiting for an explanation. “I signed us up for Martial arts classes.” “Are you serious mom, why would you do that!?” “Do not take that tone with me, young lady. You are definitely not too old for a hiding.” I said in a stern voice that leaves no room for arguing. “Mom, if I wanted to learn on how to become a Monk, I would have gone to a school for that.” “It is not to become like a Monk, it is there to help us with this anger and rage.” “You want to know what can help with that bring my dad back... then I will not be like this.”
I sigh as I turned back to her and I see the hashed tears she was trying to hide. “O Princess I wish I could turn back time and bring him back, really I do, but it is not possible we have to face the reality and move on love.” “Yes I am sure you would like to move on get another man to warm your bed.” “That is enough Violet you are going too far now. I am still your mother and you will respect me. Do I make myself clear!?” For a moment, we had a staring contest in total silence. We could hear only the boiling of the food. “Violet, you know we both need help. We can’t go on like this, always fighting with each other or getting into fights with other people. We need to do something, so it is these classes or a psychiatrist.” “Now you are threatening me with a head doctor, seriously mom that is low.” I looked at her with my one eyebrow up and my arms folded, showing her I was indeed serious. “Fine, we will do it your way. I am going to bed.” “You still need to eat Violet and food is almost done.” “I’m not hungry.”
And with that, she walks away, leaving me to my own thoughts. I hope I am doing the right thing. Violet is still so young; she has her whole life ahead of her and she can’t go on the way she is going on now. She will end up in prison or, worse, dead. I can’t even imagine losing her too, so we are going to do this whether or not she likes it. What is the worst that can happen and I am sure she will like it? She just needs to give it a chance.
Once done with the food, I went over to watch a movie, anything not to fall asleep. As I know, the nightmare will return like a movie playing repeatedly, never ending. I have tried everything, pills, alcohol, passing out in front of the television, but nothing works. It always comes back..