The Reluctant Mate

“How did you know about Steven?” she asked, instantly defensive, glaring at me. I realized I overstepped, but it was still better than pretending I hadn’t heard her that night—as long as she didn’t go running.

“I don’t know about him, not really. I only knew that you were hurt by someone. You mentioned him the night you got so drunk on… I put it together.”

“Oh.” She did not look happy with that information.

“But my point stands. I don’t know if he’s the one who made you so wary, but I’m not him. I know you’re afraid of me, but—”

“I’m not afraid of you.”

I didn’t want to argue the point. I hoped she really meant it and didn’t see me as a monster. The truth was I did have a human side, but I was far from a human.

Her voice dipped. “It’s not you that I’m afraid of. It’s myself.” I didn’t like the self-recrimination I could hear in her tone. “I got pulled in and couldn’t get out, Porter. I was so stupid. And so weak.”

“You’re not stupid or weak.”

“You can say that all you like, but that doesn’t make it true. I loved him, I became dependent on him, and he exploited that weakness. And other weaknesses, too. All to keep me in line. And the worst part? I don’t even know why I let it go on as long as I did. I should have put an end to it once I realized what was happening, but I stayed with him for months after that.” Her voice sounded like it was about to break as she was obviously caught up in memories. She didn’t deserve any of this. I wanted to beat the bastard to within an inch of his life.

“Amanda,” I said, wanting to break her out of wherever she had gone, “Don’t blame yourself. Whatever he did is on him, not on you.”

“Yeah, it is his fault.” She perked up, as if reminding herself of that truth.

I shouldn’t have offered again, but I said it anyway, quietly, so no one around us could hear it. “Just say the word and I’ll take care of him.”

She frowned. “That’s not the point. He’s not allowed to be near me, he’s far away, he’s not the problem anymore. It’s me I can’t trust.”

I nodded. He really wasn’t the issue, not at the moment. And words alone weren’t going to convince her. “Just give me time to prove that you can trust yourself with me.”

Her eyes met mine steadily. “That’s what I said I was going to do.”

“Then let me take you somewhere. Like a date.” She looked at me warily. As much as I wanted to carry her back to the pack this minute, I was definitely in a trial period where one misstep would ruin everything. “Something low-key.”

“Like?”

“A movie? Friday night?”

“I have to work Friday.” She paused. “I guess I could go afterwards.” She was making a concession and that meant she was trying. It was so much more than I had hoped when she had wanted to meet me here.

“So it’s a yes then?” I needed to be sure.

“Yes.”

My wolf was ridiculously excited and I couldn’t keep my smile hidden. She smiled back and my tail probably would have been wagging in wolf form. “I’ll pick you up at your place?” I tried to keep my voice level so she couldn’t tell how eager I was.

“Okay. I guess you know where that is.”

“I do. What do you want to see?”

“Just decide when we get there?”

“That works for me.” I’d watch anything if she was with me.

“But I have to work tomorrow, so I should get going,” she said, showing me her empty cup.

My own was still almost entirely full, I’d almost forgotten it was there. I drained half of it and asked, hoping she wouldn’t think it was too overbearing, “Can I give you a ride home?”

“Sure,” she said. Her easy tone gave me hope that someday she could just be with me, just at ease. I wanted that so much. I wanted that as much as I wanted more of her passion.

We finished up our coffees and I let her precede me out the door. Apparently she recognized the truck, or maybe she just recognized the advertising for our construction company on the side. I was just happy she was willingly walking in the direction I wanted her to go this time, and for once without her drugging herself with alcohol. No more being pushed away, no more holding her captive, just her walking beside me like I’d wanted since I’d met her.

She got in and I did as well, her eyes meeting mine as her seatbelt clicked. There was silence between us as I pulled out of the parking spot, and I struggled to think of something to fill it. “So, did you have any trouble when you got back home?”

“Not really. Everyone at work was very sympathetic about my poor grandma. Now if she ever visits I’ll need to keep her away from my work just in case someone recognizes her and asks her about it.” She looked annoyed by that thought.

I grimaced. “Sorry about that.”

“You should be. If my lies get found out and I lose my job, I’m going to be pissed off. At least if I had been kidnapped by a normal human I wouldn’t have to lie about it.” She sighed. “It’ll probably be fine. My friends thought it was pretty strange of me to leave so suddenly, but I guess I was convincing enough that you won’t be found out now. Daria never even noticed her binoculars were gone.”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now. Our pack is secure. The hunters or the Alpha Assembly will take care of any leaks.”

“Take care of? Your world seems brutal. Am I in danger now that I know?”

“No, not kill, modify memories. And you’re not in danger for knowing, it’s common to tell human mates.”

“Let me guess, they have some weird device that will flash when someone finds out about it and...”

“We’re not in a movie. It would be a witch who would do it,” I explained as I stopped at a red light. I looked over at her.

“A witch? Because that seems so much more in line with reality. She says to a werewolf.” She rubbed her forehead and leaned back in the seat. “You know what, I don’t even want to know right now. But anyways, yeah, work’s been fine, or at least as fine as it ever is. How about yours?”

“We finished at the job site, we’ve got another coming up in a month. Everyone gets a bit of down time between and we’re focusing on projects on the territory right now. The plan is to get the pack who wants to be in the pack house into the pack house in the next month, although it’ll take some time before things are completely finished.” The light changed and we continued through the intersection.

I was going to say more, but I pulled up to her home. She undid her belt and glanced at me, her eyes still holding a wariness that made me uneasy in turn. She inhaled slowly. “I’ll see you Friday. Bye,” and jumped out of the truck before I could even think of anything to say besides a startled goodbye.