The Reluctant Mate

Amanda

Porter was gone, and my life returned to normal for the next couple of days.

Mostly.

I worked, spent time with my friends when I wasn’t, and did all the tedious day to day things that life demanded.

The worst part of Porter’s entrance and departure in my existence was that no one compared to him. I didn’t want to admit it, but I didn’t find other men as attractive as I used to. I still wanted to be able to lose myself in superficial closeness with attractive strangers, but I couldn’t fool myself any more. What was the point? Maybe it had all just been ultimately meaningless. And meaningless would be fine, except it didn’t even sound fun any more.

But I was still not going to go crawling back to Porter because he was bad news. And I would remind myself of that, as many times as it took. Besides the hints of controlling and possessive behaviour that I had not failed to notice, there was also that threat against Steven. He had been deadly serious. I had felt it.

A twisted part of me wished Porter had gone to take care of him, because I would feel safer in the world if my ex was not in it, even if he was far away and no longer bothering me.

But no. Those sorts of violent tendencies were a huge red flag and I wasn’t just going to close my eyes and pretend I didn’t see them this time. There had been something dangerous in his eyes. It made me wonder more about his background, and the people he hung around with, and just what Carrie had gotten herself mixed up in. Just because her boyfriend appeared hot and charming on the surface didn’t mean he was a good guy deep down. I hoped she was okay.

I had just worked a long shift and I was so done with people. I actually liked people, as a rule, but there was something about customers that turned decent—I assumed—people into nitpicky, entitled monsters who wanted nothing more that to feast on poor customer service workers’ souls.

Pushing into the apartment, Daria greeted me. “There’s something here for you,” she said, sounding excited.

I was curious in return, and walked into the kitchen to find a huge bouquet of red roses on the kitchen table. I groaned. Even if I actually wanted Porter’s attention I wouldn’t want such a cliché gift. I expected a bit more effort nowadays. I didn’t care that they looked pretty and smelled nice.

“There’s no card. Looks like you have a secret admirer.”

“I don’t want a secret admirer.”

She shrugged. “I know you’re a commitmentphobe, and you’ve got good reasons, but maybe you should give this one a chance. I mean, it looks like he’s got some money if nothing else. That is a very nice bouquet.”

“That’s a terrible idea.” And I was annoyed that Porter thought he could send me flowers when I had been so clear about cutting contact off with him. “You can throw them out.”

“What?” She looked horrified. But I guess it made sense. She actually wanted a relationship, and it had been a long dry spell for her. Unlike me, she had healthier coping mechanisms than trying to drown her emotions in alcohol and casual sex. Or sitting on the couch slowly deteriorating with a tub of ice cream, my new favourite.

I shrugged. “Or you keep them. In your room. But I don’t want to see them.” They might hurt my determination not to see Porter, and I did not need that. Daria took them happily enough, and I put them out of my mind as best I could.

The next day I didn’t start work until the afternoon. It was Carrie’s last day, so I was glad that our shifts overlapped a bit so I could say goodbye to her, and I did, when it was time for her to leave. She seemed a bit preoccupied, which set off alarm bells in my head again. A handsome face could help obscure the darkness within. And that boyfriend of hers had a very handsome face.

“You alright?” I asked her.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just so much to do,” she said, putting on a smile that seemed a bit forced. Okay, she was definitely acting weird. Something was up. Was she hiding something?

“Well, keep in touch, okay? If you need me, text me. Anytime.” I hoped my instincts were wrong about Jason, but he was friends with Porter, and like attracted like. If Porter was dangerous, Jason might be, too. If Carrie was in a bad situation, I’d help her out, just like I wish someone had done for me when I was neck deep with Steven. Of course, I probably wouldn’t have let them, but the gesture would have been nice.

She smiled at me, this time a real one. “Thanks Amanda. I will.”

—————

Once Carrie was gone, I focused on getting through my shift and was relieved when it was an hour before store close and my shift was finally over.

I walked out into the parking lot, my mind exactly where it shouldn’t be, thinking about Porter again. As I opened my car door, to my delighted horror, I spotted the exact person I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about.

My first thought as I jumped inside my car was that he was following me like a stalker, but then I looked again and realized that his attention wasn’t even on me, and he wasn’t alone. It seemed like he didn’t know I was even there.

In fact on second look, he was with Carrie, who I was certain would not approve of me being stalked and would not participate in it. She hadn’t seen me either. They were also with Jason, Max, and some other big guy I hadn’t met. It was frankly weird that they were just standing there by their vehicles, not even really speaking.

Weirder still, when three sketchy looking people walked up to them and bowed their heads towards Carrie’s boyfriend before they started talking. The situation looked really tense, like some sort of standoff, and none of them looked happy to be there. It seemed Jason was questioning them like he was the boss or something, and not just the boss of the construction company Porter had claimed he worked for.

Or, maybe it was a real company, but it was also a front for something else, something far more sinister. Like, some branch of the mafia with all the weird respectful nods, or maybe they were smugglers into gun running, or maybe a gang of hard drug dealers.

Maybe Jason wasn’t a controlling abusive man, maybe he was the head of something criminal. Or maybe all of the above. What had poor Carrie gotten herself into?

And Porter being there... Figures the hottest guy I’d ever slept with and couldn’t get out of my mind was a dangerous gang member or something. It just confirmed what I had seen in his eyes that last time we’d talked. If he was leaving me alone, it was a good thing, because my life was hard enough without getting caught up in that sort of mess just for a man.

Finally, they finished their little stare down, and Porter took the three jumpy people along with him. I hoped he wasn’t planning to take care of them over some drug deal gone wrong the way he’d threatened to take care of Steven.

Once they were all gone, I drove myself home.

I was so curious and suspicious, but I couldn’t allow that to drag me into a situation I couldn’t handle. Curiosity killed the cat, and I had eight less lives than a feline so it wasn’t worth the risk.