The Rejected Mate

I and Damien both stare at eachother in shock, I'm not going to lie but Elijah calling me his mother did stir some unknown emotions in me, I was honestly shocked since I've never told him nor has he ever called me that before. Which also made me realise that Elijah never had a motherly figure in his life, just like me. Which saddened me.

"I- uh, I will take him myself to your room, If thats okay with you?" I ask Damien so I could totally avoid this awkward situation.

Damien just nods his head soundlessly all the while staring at me with those intense eyes of his.

I immediately scurry out of the office with a babbling but sleepy baby in my arms. I climb up the stairs onto the top floor where all the rooms of the high positions of the pack situated.

I enter the room to my right knowing who exactly it belonged to, and also which smelled strongly of him.

I slowly place my hand on the back of Elijah’s head and bring him forwards, only to find him on the verge of dozing off with him occasionally opening and closing eyes trying to fight the sleepiness, but he seemed to lose.

"Let's get you to bed little man" I place his small body onto the bed and smile when he wraps his little finger around mine in a tight hold. I slowly but carefully detach my hand from his hold. Keeping to pillow on either side of him, to prevent him from falling of the bed like the first time I found him.

When I turn around, something sitting on the night stand catches my attention, I reach forward and my hand comes in contact with a rough surface, picking the object up I realize its a black leather diary of some sort. Opening it up I find “Damien’ written inside with a cursive hand writing.

I wasn't a snoopy person, I believed everyone deserved their privacy but seeing the diary with with mates name on spiked my interest, my curiosity gets the best of me when I slowly turn the pages to find that the first entry had been written three years ago.

11th October, 2017. The day after I left.

Dear No one,

I wakeup with a jolt, I realise that I'm dripping with sweat. My breath uneven with the nightmare I just had. I heave a sigh and run a hand down my face. I thought they were gone, gone for good. But I should've known that nothing good lasts forever. Like her. I know why the nightmare has started once again, the one that kept my being sane left, my mate left. I know I have been nothing but an Asshole towards her. but I couldn't help myself. I didn't want to hurt anyone else again in my life, being with me would cost them their lives.

The nightmares are back to torment me, to bring back the sleepless nights I spent training or either running in my wolf form so.

Its the same nightmare all the time, playing in my mind like a broken recorder for years on loop. Those brown eyes, light draining from their very being.

** the nightmare**

My five-year old self swings back and forth on the swing at the pack playground. I watch as kids my age play with eachother with a carefree look etched onto their faces. I tried approaching them once thinking that I could also join them on in their fun, but their faces twisted with fear the moment they saw me, causing them to scurry away from me. My shoulders slump with sadness and I go back to swinging myself back and forth.

A hand places itself on my tiny shoulders, I turn to find warm brown eyes looking at me with a spark in their eyes.

"What's the matter?"

"No one wants to play with me, am I that bad mom?!" I ask her in a small voice fearing her reply, my eyes cast downwards.

I feel her move infront of me, she crouches down infront of me so that she was eye-level with my little frame.

"Hey, look at me" she softly grabs my chin and tilts it upwards so my grey eyes met her warm brown ones. My mom was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life, with brown hair that shined under the sunlight, eyes that sparkled with life. Face chiseled to perfection that made everyone in the pack jealous of her beauty, men and women alike. She was really kind to those around her and the pack loved their Luna very much.

"You aren't bad at all. They fear what you could do. look at you, you're so strong even though you're just five. You're going to be their Alpha one day. People tend to run away from a powerful authority. And you my son, are going to be a powerful Alpha one day" a smile breaks out onto my face hearing her words.

She smiles at me and tugs my small hands in her big ones, my small loops with hers as I get up from my seated position on the swing.

"Mom, where are we going?" I ask her in curiosity.

"To the clearing” I squeal in delight when I hear that. The clearing was just near the pack borders, Dad didn't let me or anyone from the pack go there since rogues tend to lurk their often.

I break my hand out of moms hold the second we reach the clearing, running as fast as my short legs would take me. I stop when I see then garden, made by mom herself.

Mom loved gardening and father let her do whatever she liked here. I look at all the flowers ranging from big to small, and of all colours like yellow, pink, red and purple.

I crouch and kneel near a pink flower, I see a butterfly sitting on top of it. Lightly swaying its wings back and forth in a beautiful motion , making me feel mesmerized. I reach forward to capture it by its wings when my moms words stop me.

"Damien" I turn towards her when I hear her disapproving voice.

"Butterflies can't see their wings. They can't see how truly beautiful they are but everyone else can. People are like that aswell. You should never try to ruin someone's beauty” she says softly.

A clapping sound echoes through the clearing , both me and my mom turn towards the voice to find three men covered in filth standing before us.

"words of wisdom from the pretty little luna herself" the guy standing in the center sneers, flashing his rotten yellow teeth at us. Mom pushes me behind her back and takes a protective stance, ready to fight.

Mom instantly transforms into her brown wolf and lunges at the guy that was standing near to her, her jaw gripped his neck which he didn't see coming and was caught off guard, twisting and snapping it instantly. His lifeless body falls to the floor and blood pools around his body.

Seeing that they've lost one of their guys, the guy who stood at the center becomes angry, his beady black eyes turn red, indicating ti other his status as a rogue in the werewolf world. He instantly shifts into his grey wolf, his body littered with scars, certain parts of his fur were missing, showing the scars he had aquired over the time and he looked filthy to say the least. He instantly claws at her sides drawing blood making me move from my spot to somehow help her, I was five which meant I haven't even shifted into my wolf yet.

I wanted to her help, an idea popped into my mind. I looked around my sorrounding and found a stone. Gripping it in my hands I flung it into the wolves face, making it sneer at me. My moms wolf instantly lets out a growl at the threat directed at her pup.

The third rogue who had been watching from the sideline had somehow sneaked up on me and brought a knife upto my neck.

"Shift or else he wouldn't live to see another day” the guys says maliciously grabbing the attention of my mom and the other rogue.

I could see worry flood into her eyes at the sight before her.

She instantly shifts back into her human and stands naked. It all happened so fast, one minute she was standing and next she was being knocked down by the grey wolf and with a deep cut on her neck, blood oozed out in fast motion making my eyes to tear up seeing her like that. He instantly shifts back into his human form.

The guy that was holding the knife to my throat, holds my face in a tight grip so I could only look at the scene infront of me and nothing else.

My five-year year old self watched my mother got raped, they did things to her body my little mind couldn't comprehend. I watched as her body remained immobilized, her eyes on me with tears leaking through them along with mine, i trash around and try to escape but my small body could do only so much. I watched as the spark she carried in her eyes dimmed until they turned hollow and lifeless. I was thrown onto the floor after they were done, all alone.

I crawled on my all fours over to her lifeless body, I tried waking her up and everything I could possibly do, but she didn't respond. A pack memeber had found us hearing my waling and cry for help. Help was called and the Dad was reported about the attack on his mate and son immediately. Dad had found his dead mate lying naked in her own puddle of blood and a five-year old clutching onto her body like his life depended on it.

That day an Alpha lost his mate, a son lost his mother, a pack lost its luna and I lost my childhood.

I slam the book close, tears stream down my face as I clutched onto the leather covering of the book. My wolf kept whimpering in my head constantly. Feelings sad for our mate and what nightmare he had to live through.

Suddenly I hear rattling noises of a door being closed and I hear footsteps. Realising that its coming towards my direction I hastily place the book where I found it, on the night stand like it was never touched by someone. I wipe the tears away from my face.

I turn around and place a small blanket over Elijah's sleeping figure, just in time for the door to the room to open, I meet Damien's eyes and find his eyes moving back and forth from Elijah to mine. I couldn't help but Imagine a five-year old Damien in his place.

"I think its getting late and Matthew would be here anytime soon” I say and start moving towards the door. If I stay any longer I would burst and being with him in the same room, staring at me like he was looking into my soul wouldn't help the case.

I'm about to leave when I feel a firm grip on my wrist, I turn my head over my shoulder to find Damien staring at me. My heart beats fast like its about to jump out at any given moment due to nervousness. Does he know that I read his diary?

"Thankyou for today" he rasps out in his deed voice.

I nod and smile, not trusting my voice to give him a verbal reply. I close the door behind me. When I reach my room, I couldn't help but feel a heaviness. I slid down the wall, knees to my chest. Minutes passed and the pain in my chest went out to the five-year old who had to watch his own mother be defiled and die before his eyes, for an Alpha who lost his mate too early and the pack for its Luna.