Chapter 176
Blair POV
I nodded "I want to look my mother in the eyes," I said, my voice breaking "and I want to ask her how she could do this to me all these years, knowing who I was to her. How she could leave a child abandoned in the forest and not care? How any mother could do such a thing and how she could deliberately favor one daughter over another." Even now, it tore a hole through my heart and left me speechless. I could not fathom doing such a thing to my own child and it hurt so bad, inside, to know that she had done it so easily, so callously, when it came to me.
Silence. Tears welled in my eyes. I felt foolish. Why did this matter so much to me? Why couldn't I just let it go? Why did I care so much? It was all in the past, but it was like a new wound that wouldn't heal. It was like having my heart torn open again and again. I needed to hear it from her own lips, maybe then I would be able to find closure and let go of the past in order to embrace the present.
"Blair" Braedon said softly "honey, it's not your fault."
"I know that" I protested "but I can't fathom how any mother could abandon her child like that" I whispered, putting a hand to my stomach and feeling a lone tear trail down my cheek.
Braedon moved, gathering me up in his arms as I rested against his chest, standing and feeling his powerful arms, the softness of his grip, and relaxing slightly as my tears trickled slowly down my cheeks.
"You'll get your answers" Braedon whispered, pulling back slightly and stroking back my hair from my face "But honey, be prepared they might not be what you want them to be" he warned.
"I know" I whispered forlornly "but it's worst not knowing. I just, I don't know. I feel like she's a monster for what she did, and part of me wants to know, why me. Was it just the heart condition? Or did she find me lacking elsewhere and that's why I was put out, in the cold, as though I was nothing but garbage?" the words were heartfelt as I sniffled, feeling Braedon's eyes on me.
"You are not garbage," he said gruffly "You are the most precious thing to me, a jewel that I was lucky to find. You might not realize it Blair, but I feel blessed every day to have you in my life."
I clung to him while James looked away, an awkward expression on his face. I forced myself to calm down and relax, and to step away from my mate, a small smile on my face. "I want Sierra to come too," I told them, surprising Braedon and James.
"She's an excellent fighter and the women are going to need somebody who can assist them. Some or maybe the majority of them, are not going to want to be around men" I added darkly, James' and Braedon's faces suddenly grim and filled with understanding.
"We hadn't considered that, but you're right, the women's emotional states and the distress they will be feeling needs to be taken into account as well," Braedon said steadily.
"I can recommend some women that would make excellent helpers."
"Actually, what about taking some nurses?" I intervened "not only will they be able to take care of minor wounds and scrapes, possibly major ones, but they are more likely to be able to triage the women and have them respond."
"Do it" Braedon told James "Organize some nurses to come and assist. Don't leave the hospital short though" he warned and then turned to me "That's an excellent idea, Blair."
I grinned and then yawned. "I think that I'll go to bed. I'm sleepy" I said tiredly.
"James and I will finish up here and then I'll join you," he said "But don't be surprised if you're woken up early" he added "Something tells me we'll be attacking at daybreak or at night, we haven't determined which, but be prepared regardless."
I blinked but nodded. If Ashton wasn't having the warriors train then daybreak made sense or at nighttime when they were likely to have blindspots. At daybreak, It was normal training time and it would be the perfect time to attack and at night there were more guards but if they were lazy they would be overthrown easily. But if Alpha Johnathon got the patrol out of the way, then it would be relatively easy to overpower the security to do with the cottages.
"Wake me up when you come to bed so I can hear the plan" I instructed my mate "But I suspect I already know what you're planning" I added, turning on my heel and leaving quickly.
I made my way upstairs, taking one stair slowly at a time. I was still surprised that Braedon was proving to be so amiable in allowing me to accompany him back to my old pack. It made me suspicious. The man was stubborn and didn't change his mind often. I fought off the feeling of unease I had and continued upwards, gazing down the corridor and nodding towards the guards who were standing outside a guest room, which made it obvious where Alpha Johnathon was staying. I was grateful that he was not on the same floor as Braedon and I were living on. I made it to our room and opened the door, closing it softly behind me.
Tomorrow, I thought, changing into pajamas. Tomorrow would come soon enough and I would be back in the pack that had hated and despised me since birth. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The memories of everything that had happened, the abuse, the bullying, the harassment, and the contempt on their faces were forever imprinted on my mind. I hated them all and yet, I was fighting to save most of their lives. It was almost inconceivable. I could have walked away, I could have just let Braedon deal with it and yet, I felt an overwhelming sense of duty towards those who had harmed me. I couldn't continue to hold grudges. Not now. All I could do was forge a way forward, perhaps even improve the lives of those who had been born wolfless like me, and prevent further deaths of those they deemed too weak to be allowed to live. I could make changes. I could help those who needed it the most and I had the power to do that. All I had to do was show those who doubted me, what I was truly capable of and that started tomorrow.