SWNOVELS The Raven King: Chapter 12
The emergency room at Richmond General Hospital was a crowded, roiling mess of resentment and sickness. The attendants at the desk tried regulating the mess as best they could, but there were too many people to be seen and nowhere near enough doctors. Neil was too far away to hear the attendants’ words but he could hear their fraying patience in their tone. The strident protests and arguments of the would-be patients carried easier. Neil listened because he needed something to distract him from his thoughts.
Things had gone from bad to worse when Columbia’s finest showed up at the Hemmicks’ house. The first responders and paramedics arrived at almost the same time, but they were followed by two more sets of officers. Neil didn’t know if they had nothing better to do on a Sunday night or if they’d come following the slip of Kevin Day’s name over the police radio. Neil seriously doubted it took six cops to rule Drake’s death as a justified case of self-defense. He wanted them to take statements, eyeball the obvious details of the gruesome scene, and shake Aaron’s hand on their way out. The last time Neil saw Aaron, though, he was being led down the stairs in cuffs. Shortly afterward the police loaded an amused Andrew into the back of an ambulance and shipped him here.
Neil didn’t know if this was sheer Fox bad luck, if he’d jinxed all of this by his very presence, or if rape and murder were always this complicated. He didn’t know; he could barely think anymore. Instinct made him split up the group the only way he could. Kevin wanted to come to the hospital to wait on Andrew’s release, but his face was too recognizable. The last thing any of them wanted tonight was to draw more attention to themselves. Neil sent him with Nicky to the station to wait on Aaron. He came here alone the second the police gave up getting anything out of him. He’d been here for almost forty minutes now. He was trying not to clock watch, but he couldn’t help it. The crowd around him wasn’t changing fast enough to be a proper distraction.
The man who walked through the sliding glass doors two minutes later was. Neil was on his feet before he knew he was moving. The sudden movement drew Wymack’s attention, and Wymack stabbed a finger at the ground in front of him. Neil worked his way across the crowded room. Wymack barely waited for him to catch up before heading back outside. Neil hugged his coat tighter around himself and followed.
Wymack led him to a designated smoking section some twenty feet down the sidewalk. Neil looked at the plastic bag hanging off his elbow but forgot to ask when Wymack pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. Neil held his hand out in silent request. Wymack arched an eyebrow at him and said, ‘Last I checked, you don’t smoke.’
‘I don’t,’ Neil said.
Wymack handed him the cigarette anyway and got another for himself. The wind was strong enough it took them work to get their cigarettes lit. Neil took a long drag to make sure the cigarette was actually burning, then cupped the glowing stick between his hands. The acrid smell of smoke, faint as it was on a night like this, should have been comforting. It wasn’t.
‘What are you doing here?’ Neil asked.
‘Kevin called me,’ Wymack said. ‘I brought Andrew some clean clothes.’
Neil did the math in his head, but it didn’t add up. Kevin hadn’t used his phone in the bedroom, and they hadn’t split up long enough ago for Wymack to make it here from Palmetto State. The only way Wymack could be standing here now was if Kevin called him when he first went downstairs to get Nicky. Knowing Kevin, Neil bet Wymack got the call before 911 did.
‘They arrested Aaron,’ Neil said.
‘I know,’ Wymack said.
‘Why?’
‘Someone died on the other end of his racquet.’
‘It wasn’t his,’ Neil said. ‘It was mine. The police took it as evidence. Will they give it back or am I going to have to get a new one?’
Wymack exhaled smoke into the air between them. The wind ripped the cloud to shreds as quickly as it formed. Neil watched Wymack watch him, then turned his attention to his cigarette. He turned it over and over between his fingers. There was still dried blood beneath his fingernails. For a moment he thought it was his mother’s, clinging stubbornly to his hands after all these years. He gave his cigarette a violent shake, dislodging those thoughts with the first clump of ash.
‘Neil,’ Wymack said.
Neil knew that tone too well. ‘I’m fine.’
‘Give me that bullshit answer one more time and see what happens,’ Wymack said. ‘I stopped by the station on the way here and got a censored rundown of things. The police have labeled you as a hostile witness, you know. They said you wouldn’t talk to them, not even to give them your name. They had to get that from Kevin.’
‘I’m fine,’ Neil said again. ‘I just don’t like talking to cops.’
‘Then don’t talk to them,’ Wymack said. ‘Talk to me.’
‘What do you want me to say?’
‘The truth,’ Wymack said.
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
Neil shook his head. He didn’t know how to explain the fear eating a hollow knot in his chest. Something like this demanded complete honesty, and Neil had been lying since he was old enough to speak. He didn’t know how to tell the truth now. If he tried, would it still be the truth, or would he poison the words by saying them aloud? Would it be instinctive to twist it? He wouldn’t risk it. Andrew didn’t deserve that.
‘Coach, call Oakland,’ Neil said, because he needed to turn Wymack’s questions to a safer target. ‘Higgins needs to know what happened tonight. You remember him?’ he asked when Wymack frowned at him. ‘He called us at the start of the year when he was investigating Drake’s father. I know he shifted the focus to Drake last month, but I don’t know if he registered him as an official suspect in the system. If he didn’t, the cops here won’t know to notify him.’
Wymack stared him down in silence for a minute, then pulled a card out of his wallet. Neil saw a glossy blue shield printed on the front and guessed it was from one of the officers handling this mess. He didn’t plan on sticking around for this phone call, so he ground his cigarette out beneath one shoe.
‘I’m going back inside,’ he said, and Wymack didn’t stop him.
He went back into the emergency room to find his seat taken. There was standing room in a corner, though, so he put his back to the wall and turned his attention on the front desk again. Wymack showed up a couple minutes later, spoke briefly to the frazzled women at the desk, and handed them the plastic bag. One disappeared into the back with it, and Wymack came to wait with Neil. They said nothing else to each other but waited for Andrew to be released.
When Andrew finally stepped through the back doors, Neil half-wished they’d left him there. He was wearing the fresh clothes Wymack had brought him, but even the hooded sweatshirt couldn’t hide the mess Drake made of his face. Worse than the bruises and cuts was the brilliant smile Andrew still wore. Neil saw it and wanted to be sick.
Wymack set off to intercept Andrew on his way to the door, so Neil followed after him. Andrew glanced over when he noticed their approach and laughed. ‘Coach, hello. I don’t remember inviting you to this debacle.’
‘You didn’t,’ Wymack said.
‘Kevin,’ Andrew guessed. ‘A traitor to the end.’
He sounded amused, not annoyed, and motioned for Wymack to lead the way. He spared Neil only the barest of glances as they followed Wymack into the night. Despite the crowd inside Wymack had gotten a decent parking spot right around the corner of the building. Neil held back as they approached so Andrew could decide the seating arrangement. Andrew opened the passenger door but didn’t get in. Instead he drummed his fingers on the door and considered his seat as if it was a great mystery.
Neil didn’t understand the hesitation. Wymack did, and he said, ‘There’s more room to stretch out in back.’
‘Oh, you are right,’ Andrew said, but he got in front anyway. Neil watched his knuckles go white on the door as he leveraged himself into the car, but it wasn’t until Andrew laughed and said, ‘Ouch,’ that Neil understood how much pain Andrew was still in.
Neil got in the backseat and fastened his seatbelt with numb fingers. Wymack closed his door hard enough to shake the whole car and got the engine running. He didn’t go anywhere, though, and Neil half-wondered if Wymack was going to interrogate Andrew right here in the parking lot.
Instead Wymack flicked Andrew an impatient look and an, ‘Any time now.’
‘Right, right,’ Andrew said. ‘Safety first.’
Andrew yanked his buckle into place, and Wymack got them on the road. Neil expected them to head back to the station, but he started recognizing streets before long. Wymack was bringing them to the cousins’ house. The thought of spending the night in Columbia was repulsive, but Neil didn’t get a chance to protest. There was a car already parked in the driveway and Andrew recognized it even if Neil didn’t.
‘There is a really good explanation for this,’ Andrew said. ‘I can’t wait to hear it.’
‘You know why she’s here.’
‘I don’t, Coach. This isn’t her business.’
‘Don’t even start,’ Wymack said as he pulled in behind the unfamiliar car. ‘I know you didn’t honestly think you could keep this from her for long. But bringing her along tonight wasn’t my idea, so don’t give me that look. I didn’t know Abby invited her until we were on the road.’
‘I hate all of you,’ Andrew said, too cheerfully, and he got out of the car.
Their arrival hadn’t gone unnoticed, and the front door opened before they were halfway to it. It took Neil only a second to recognize Betsy Dobson in the doorway and he ground to a halt in the grass.
Andrew stopped, too, and threw out his arms as if expecting a hug. ‘Oh, Bee! What amazing timing. We were just talking about you. I’ve got other things to do right now but Neil said he would keep you company in my stead. You don’t mind, do you? I didn’t think you would.’
‘I mind,’ Neil said. ‘I have nothing to say to her.’
‘I’m sure you’ll come up with something.’ Andrew grinned over his shoulder at Neil. ‘You always do, right? It doesn’t have to be the truth, you know. Bee’s not expecting honesty from you. I told her not to trust a single word you said. Or have you started playing the secrets game with her, too?’
‘I said no.’
Andrew turned to face him completely and stuffed his hands into the oversized front pocket of his sweatshirt. ‘You misunderstand,’ he said, with a knowing nod. ‘I wasn’t asking, Neil. You helped create this mess. The least you could do is help clean it up. Where’s your sense of responsibility?’
A knife wouldn’t hurt this much. Andrew’s words punched the breath out of Neil’s lungs; he took a stumbling step back in a desperate bid for balance. He wanted to say this wasn’t his fault, but they both knew it was. Andrew hadn’t told him about Drake, but he’d said Luther betrayed his trust. Instead of listening to that, Neil sided with Nicky’s hopeful grief. He hadn’t invited Drake to South Carolina, but he’d delivered Andrew into his waiting arms.
Guilt was a relatively new emotion for Neil, something the Foxes were teaching him through prolonged exposure to them. Up until this point he’d felt it in uncomfortable, fleeting bursts. Now it was a fierce, all-consuming heat that made him want to cut his own stomach out. He didn’t know if he was going to puke or scream. Neither one was acceptable, so he clenched his teeth as hard as he could. Meeting Andrew’s eyes was almost impossible. Looking away would be unforgivable.
He reached through the acid in his chest and found the only words he could: ‘Where is yours?’
Andrew tipped his head to one side, feigning confusion. Maybe it wasn’t an act. Maybe he didn’t understand. Neil barely recognized his own voice through the gravel in it. Neil swallowed hard against his weakening gag reflex. Every breath he took cut him open on its way down but his voice sounded steady when he spoke again.
‘Why didn’t you tell Higgins?’
‘Wouldn’t have worked,’ Andrew said blithely. ‘Pig wasn’t ready to hear it back then. He and Drake were friends, you see. They met when Drake went through the PAL program and hit it off somehow or other. I knew he wouldn’t believe me, so I didn’t waste my time trying.’
‘So you did nothing,’ Neil said. ‘You almost put a knife between Nicky’s ribs when he flirted with me, but you didn’t lift a finger to protect Cass’s other children. You knew what Drake would do to them, but you didn’t protect them.’
‘There weren’t supposed to be other children,’ Andrew said.
‘But there were,’ Neil reminded him, cold and fierce and awful.
Andrew laughed and pulled a hand free of his pocket. He wrapped his fingers around Neil’s throat, not tight enough to cut off Neil’s air but snug enough to be a warning. Neil saw Wymack shift in his peripheral vision but trusted the man to stay out of their way. Until Andrew actually hurt Neil Wymack would let them fight this out on their own terms. Neil kept his eyes on Andrew’s face and pitched his voice low enough to cut Wymack and Betsy out of the conversation.
‘I hope she was worth it.’
Andrew tilted forward and said, ‘Oh, Neil. You are far too heavy to tread ice this thin.’
‘Is this how you stayed quiet?’ Neil reached up and took hold of Andrew’s wrist. He couldn’t feel the scars through the cotton sleeve but he didn’t need to. He knew they were there. Andrew knew what he was talking about, judging by how still he went. His smile didn’t even flicker but Neil wasn’t fooled. ‘Did you do this so you wouldn’t tell her the truth about her son?’
‘Maybe I did.’
‘What were you trying to do, outlast him?’ Neil asked. ‘He was a graduating senior intent on enlisting, right? All you had to do was hold out until graduation and then she would adopt you. So what went wrong?’
Andrew’s fingers slowly tightened until Neil couldn’t breathe anymore. He refused to shake Andrew off. The tightness in his chest started as simple discomfort but spread until it felt like every bone in his chest would break beneath the pressure. Neil’s control started to crumble, no matter how fiercely he clung to it, and he’d just shifted to throw Andrew back when Andrew finally loosened his grip.
Instead of letting go, Andrew slid his hand around back of Neil’s neck and pulled him in close. He put his mouth at Neil’s ear and lowered his voice, but Neil didn’t have to see his face to know Andrew was still smiling. He could hear it.
‘Drake deferred his enlistment,’ Andrew said. ‘He wanted to make the most of his last summer with his baby brother. He even asked Cass if we could invite Aaron up for a couple weeks so we could all meet. Cass left it up to me, but whenever she wasn’t looking Drake tried talking me into it. He wanted to get both of us in the same place. He could imagine what we’d look like in bed together, he said. It’d be picture perfect.’
Neil flinched. He’d pushed because he needed to see that horrible smile crack. He needed to know if Andrew was screaming behind the euphoria his drugs fed his veins. But Andrew wasn’t, and Neil couldn’t live with that. Andrew’s medicine was too strong or his psychosis too twisted; either way, tonight didn’t mean anything to him. This was a setback Andrew could sidestep and ignore.
‘Speaking of the other Minyard…’ Andrew let go of Neil and grinned at Wymack. He raised his voice so Wymack could hear and asked, ‘He really did it, didn’t he? Probably the most decisive thing he’s ever managed. Where was that spine when his mother was beating him? It would have come in handy all those years. Someone ought to congratulate him.’
‘Aaron is under arrest,’ Betsy said. ‘Why don’t you come inside so we can talk about it?’
Andrew turned a surprised look on her. ‘Are you still here, Bee?’
‘For a few moments longer,’ Betsy said. ‘The milk’s almost done heating. I picked some up on the way over so we could have some cocoa. I brought the entire canister of the dark chocolate hazelnut with me. If we start drinking it now, we could probably make ourselves sick off of it by midnight.’
Neil couldn’t believe her. Chocolate wasn’t a fix-it; it wouldn’t make any of this easier to stomach. Except a moment later Andrew dragged Neil’s arm around where he could get a look at Neil’s watch and said, ‘You think of everything, Bee. We’ll be in soon.’
Betsy nodded and went inside. When she was gone Andrew tried again to get his hand free. Neil still held fast. Andrew turned a look on him that was too amused to be exasperated.
‘Better luck next time, Neil,’ he said. ‘I warned you once already, didn’t I? I don’t feel anything.’
‘Anymore,’ Neil said, barely a whisper.
The old scars up and down Andrew’s wrists were evidence of how far Andrew had to fall to hit this point. Neil finally let go of him and let his hand fall limp to his side. Andrew gave an exaggerated shrug and spun on his heel. Neil watched him disappear through the doorway. He was aware, a second or minute or hour later, of Wymack’s heavy stare on him.
‘Neil,’ Wymack said.
‘I’m fine,’ Neil said.
Wymack said nothing immediately, then, ‘Be fine inside where it’s warmer.’
Neil took a step forward, or meant to. The next thing he knew he was running: not at the house, but away.
He could still smell the blood on his shirt, even through his coat. He didn’t know if it was his imagination, but the scent was so thick and sharp he could almost taste the metal tang of it. Every slap of his shoes on the pavement sounded like gunshots. He blinked and saw France, saw Greece, saw that long layover in Lebanon and short trip through Dubai. He remembered the rumbling waves of the Pacific Ocean and his mother’s fingers clawing at the air as she struggled for one last breath.
Guilt, grief, and pain were corrosive toxins in his veins, tearing him apart from the inside out. He let them, made them, because these memories were awful but they were things that made sense. That aching loss was all he knew and understood. If he lost sight of them all he had was the unfamiliar cruelty he’d witnessed tonight. He didn’t know how to face this yet. He didn’t know how to compartmentalize it into something he could tolerate. Maybe he’d figure it out tomorrow. Maybe he’d carry it with him until the Moriyamas killed him. Neil didn’t know. He didn’t want to know.
He ran until he couldn’t breathe, but he never stopped hurting.
By the time he made it back the house was silent and dark. Neil didn’t know how the others had divvied up the three bedrooms and he didn’t want to see anyone else tonight. Luckily the living room was unoccupied. He eased the coffee table off to one side so he’d have enough room to stretch out and, having nothing to change into, only kicked his shoes off before curling up on the couch. He was half-sure his thoughts would keep him up all night, but exhaustion dragged him under before long.
The bang of a cabinet door warned him he wasn’t alone. Neil startled awake and reached instinctively for his duffel bag. His wild grab came back empty, and his stomach bottomed out in the second it took his mind to wake up. He sat up on the couch and willed his heartbeat out of its frantic gallop. Neil scrubbed at his eyes, tired despite that adrenaline burst, and went to investigate the noise.
The kitchen light was off, but the dim florescent bulb over the stove was on. Wymack was fussing over the coffeemaker. If Wymack was up, it was half past four in the morning. Neil learned Wymack’s morning schedule the hard way from a month on Wymack’s couch. Apparently death wasn’t enough cause to shake the routine.
Wymack finished setting up the grinds and set the coffee to brew. As he turned around he spotted Neil in the doorway. Neil waited for him to say something about how Neil ran out last night, but all Wymack said was, ‘Did you get any sleep?’
Neil didn’t know what time he’d gotten back, so he said, ‘A couple hours, I think.’
‘If you can get more, do it,’ Wymack said. ‘It’s going to be a long day, and I need everyone awake and coherent before Waterhouse gets here.’ At Neil’s curious look, Wymack explained, ‘Andrew’s lawyer. We’re hoping he’ll take Aaron’s case. It should be an easy win for him.’
‘They shouldn’t have arrested him.’
‘They’re doing their jobs,’ Wymack said. ‘A man died last night, and until they have everything they need they have to hold him. Your testimony could speed the process up, you know. You’re the only one besides Andrew and Aaron who was in that room when Drake died, and since Andrew won’t talk either—’
‘Has Luther confessed?’
‘To what?’
‘To setting them up,’ Neil said, heated. ‘He put Drake in that house knowing what Drake had done to Andrew the last time they were together. If he and Aaron both told the truth and the officers had working sets of eyes to see what that room looked like, they don’t need anything else. If they’re bogging things down because Andrew’s history makes them prejudiced they should give the case to more objective people and stop wasting our time.’
‘Neil.’
‘Did you call the Oakland PD?’ Neil asked.
‘I don’t have their number anymore,’ Wymack said. ‘I asked the locals to call them. I’ll try to get in touch with Officer Higgins today to see if he’s heard anything. Now stop stalling and go back to bed.’
‘I’m fine.’
It was out before he could stop it. Wymack didn’t have to say anything. The look on his face said enough. Neil fixed his stare on the coffeepot and tried not to fidget. Wymack turned away after what felt like a century and poured what little had brewed into his mug. He plucked it off the counter and started for the doorway. Neil stepped back into the hallway so Wymack could pass, but Wymack stopped in front of him.
‘Neil,’ Wymack said, ‘between you and me, I don’t think you’ve ever been fine.’
Neil didn’t have an answer for that, but he didn’t need one. Wymack continued his routine by stepping out into the frigid morning for a walk. Neil watched the front door close behind him, then went back to the couch to wait. The longer he sat there, the more his thoughts started to fuzz at the edges as tiredness crept back in. Finally Neil sank onto his side once more and dozed off. He woke up briefly when Wymack returned but slipped under for a couple more hours’ rest.
The next time Neil woke, it was to heavy footsteps on the stairs and Andrew’s cheery voice. Neil missed the first half of the conversation, but he gathered from the rest that Andrew was explaining the dire breakfast situation in the house. They hadn’t expected to stay in Columbia overnight, so the only groceries they had were the milk and cocoa powder Betsy supplied.
Neil rolled off the couch and went to the doorway. Andrew looked as wired and ready for the day as always. He was dressed in a heavy black turtleneck Neil didn’t recognize, presumably a shirt he hadn’t packed when he moved to the campus dormitory. The sleeves were too long on him, hanging almost to his knuckles, and easily hid his scarred arms. He couldn’t hide the multicolored mess Drake made of his face, though. Drake hadn’t won that fight easily.
Neil wasn’t the only one who stirred at the noise Andrew was making. The others were drawn like moths to a poisonous flame. The twins’ rooms were upstairs on opposite ends of the hall. Nicky’s bedroom was downstairs past the stairwell, the room Neil had woken up in his first night in Columbia. That door was open now, and Nicky and Kevin stood in the doorway with Betsy behind them. Betsy didn’t look rested, but she at least looked calm. Nicky and Kevin looked like the night had beat them up and left them for dead.
Abby was trying for a brave face as she followed Andrew downstairs, but Neil saw the strain in her smile. Andrew chattered on like he didn’t notice. Neil knew he did; Andrew’s drugs made him manic, not stupid. Andrew was enjoying making Abby squirm. Andrew lost his train of thought when he spotted Neil in the doorway, though, and he stopped at the base of the stairs to point.
‘Oh, Neil is back. We thought perhaps you got lost.’
‘I’m never lost,’ Neil said.
‘And never found,’ Andrew added with a sage nod. ‘All for the best, I’m sure. But good timing either way. This solves all our problems. Right, Bee?’ Andrew looked over his shoulder down the hall and waggled a hand at her in come-hither. She gently eased Kevin and Nicky aside to get through. Andrew grinned at her approach and pointed at Neil again. ‘He knows where we left the car, and you know where the store is. Try to pick him up some clothes on the way back, would you? He’s going to start smelling if we leave him too long.’
‘Did you want anything in particular for breakfast?’ Betsy asked.
‘No special requests,’ Andrew said. ‘You can ask the ghosts back there, but I don’t think they have much of an opinion today. Maybe you’re losing your touch, Bee. Oh, but here. Neil is going to need this.’
Andrew patted at his pockets, searching, and found what he was looking for on the third try. Neil only saw a flash of it before Betsy took it. Betsy only made it a step in Neil’s direction before Andrew snagged her shirt to stop her.
‘Exites,’ Andrew said. ‘Kevin has the card.’
Betsy went back down the hall to get the team’s purchasing card from Kevin. Andrew clapped his hands at Neil to get his attention. ‘Don’t forget my knives, okay? I’m going to want them. Goodbye.’
Andrew tapped two fingers to his bruised temple in salute and headed into the kitchen. Betsy made it all the way to Neil’s side before Neil realized he’d been volunteered to run errands with her. He started to protest, but the words stuck in his throat. Andrew’s late-night accusation about Neil’s hand in all this was still a fresh wound Neil wasn’t ready to press. Neil sent a last look at Nicky and Kevin, then turned after Betsy and followed her into the cold.
Betsy had a GPS attached to her windshield where she could easily see the small screen. As soon as the device picked up the appropriate satellite she pressed a couple buttons and watched directions load. A somber British voice instructed her to head east. Betsy turned the volume down until it was barely audible and backed out of the driveway. Neil stared out the window and aimed to be invisible. The ruse didn’t last long.
‘David asked me to speak with you,’ Betsy said. ‘I know the setting isn’t exactly conventional, but please know any conversation we have today will be accorded the same privacy and respect as a formal office visit.’
‘What is there to talk about?’ Neil asked. ‘If I were you I’d be more concerned with Nicky. He came down here thinking he was going to fix his family, but now his entire family’s fallen apart.’
‘He is lucky to have a friend like you worrying about him.’
‘I’m not his friend,’ Neil said. ‘I’m his teammate.’
‘Are you not his, or he not yours?’ Betsy asked, and when Neil just looked at her, said, ‘They are distinctly different matters and it is possible to have one without the other. I’m sorry if I’m making assumptions, but it seems to me that he views you as a friend.’ When Neil didn’t immediately respond, she said, ‘What about the rest of the team? Are they your friends?’
‘What do I need friends for?’ Neil asked. ‘I came here to play. That’s what Coach’s contract asked of me, so that’s what I’m going to do. Is this really what you want to talk about?’
‘I want to talk about last night, but I also want to talk about you. I want to make sure you have a support network that can get you through the next few weeks. If you don’t want to talk about the latter, we can focus on the former. Can you tell me what happened?’
‘How many times do you want to hear that story?’ Neil asked. ‘I’m sure you got it from Nicky and Kevin. Coach probably told you what the police said. Maybe you even got answers from Andrew. I have nothing to add.’
‘Could you at least tell me why you brought a racquet into that room?’
‘Do you own a gun?’ Neil asked, and when Betsy shook her head, said, ‘Imagine you did. One night you wake up because you hear someone moving around in your house. You have the right to confront them and, not knowing whether or not they’re armed, are smart enough to bring your gun with you. If he attacks you and you fire on him, the police will call it justified self-defense. I don’t have a gun, but I had a racquet.’
‘I understand what you’re getting at, but no one else suspected Andrew was in any trouble,’ Betsy said. It wasn’t really a question, so Neil didn’t answer. When they stopped at the next red light, Betsy considered Neil in silence. Only when the light turned green again did she say, ‘There is a fine line between self-defense and premeditated murder here, Neil. Why did you bring the racquet upstairs?’
At length Neil grudgingly said, ‘I knew who Drake was.’
‘How? Did Andrew tell you about him?’
‘He told me parts of the story, not enough,’ Neil said. ‘I knew the Oakland police were investigating the Spears and I knew Cass’s son was a Marine. I can’t take on a Marine in a fair fight. That’s why I grabbed my racquet.’ Neil stared out the window and wished the conversation was already over. ‘I gave it to Aaron so I could break down the door, and I didn’t have time to take it back.’
‘You stormed the room,’ Betsy said. ‘What did you see?’
‘Drake attacking Andrew,’ Neil said. It was the truth, but it felt like a lie as it rolled off his tongue. Three words were a pathetic description of what he’d walked in on. ‘I was off-balance from kicking in the door, so Aaron was faster than I was. He caught Drake right here.’ He touched his head where his racquet had shattered Drake’s skull. ‘It was a heavy, so it only took one hit. If Andrew gave you the p-card, that means the police are keeping my racquet, aren’t they?’
‘Would you want it back?’ Betsy asked.
‘Do you have any idea how much it cost?’ Neil asked. ‘Yes, I want it back.’
‘It wouldn’t bother you that it was used as a murder weapon?’
‘It didn’t kill anyone important.’
‘Interesting,’ Betsy said, but she didn’t elaborate until she’d pulled into a department store parking lot. This early on a workday, it was easy to get a spot near the door. She took the key from the ignition, turned off her GPS, and looked at Neil. ‘Drake’s crimes aside, he met a violent end only a few feet from you. It would be natural and completely understandable if you felt some sort of shock or grief.’
The smart thing to do was lie, but every time Neil blinked he saw Andrew’s white-knuckled grip on the headboard. He could still hear Andrew’s laughter, muffled by the pillow. If he could reach inside his head and claw the memory out he would, but he couldn’t. All he could do was lash out at Betsy. She wasn’t the shrink who’d put Andrew on this medication two and a half years ago but she was the only one close enough to hit.
‘I don’t,’ Neil said flatly. ‘And you know what? Neither does Andrew.’
He wanted her to defend herself. He wanted to see her try to justify any of this. His father’s temper was hot in his veins, raging for an outlet. The only response he got, though, was a calm, ‘Did you ask him?’
‘Did I ask him?’ Neil repeated, disbelieving. ‘He said he can’t feel. You saw him smiling last night. Did you hear him—’ Neil gave a vicious jerk of his hand, willing himself to shut up before he said too much, and levered himself out of the car. He slammed the door behind himself, but of course Betsy was getting out on the other side. Neil attempted to cut her off with, ‘We’re not talking about this.’
‘You can’t choke back on everything forever,’ Betsy said. ‘You need an outlet, whether it’s with me or David or your teammates.’
‘I don’t need anyone.’
‘Would you at least like one of us to contact your parents?’
‘No,’ Neil said, and started for the door.
Betsy followed but didn’t push it, and they split up inside. Neil was the only one browsing the clothing aisles at this time of day, but an ancient woman was already keeping watch at the changing room. She paused in sorting out returns long enough to unlock one of the stalls for Neil. He listened for the lock to catch behind him, then shrugged out of his coat. He went still with both hands on his shirt when he saw his reflection.
Drake’s blood looked almost black where it’d dried in splashes on his shirt. Neil thought it was Drake’s blood, anyway. It could have just as easily been Andrew’s. For a moment it smelled fresh: sharp and hot and sour.
A few months ago Wymack called them to say Seth was dead of an overdose. Neil told Andrew that night he didn’t understand the drive behind suicide. Andrew shrugged off his interpretation of it. That casual dismissal masked a deeper understanding. Andrew said Seth’s self-destructive behavior was Seth’s only way out. Neil hadn’t understood then because he always had a way out. There was always a back door to slip out, a bus to catch, a ferry to ride. It might be awful and terrifying, but it still gave him dim hope for survival. He couldn’t imagine life without that comfort.
Neil turned one hand over to see his unmarred wrist. His body bore countless scars from his life on the run, but none of them were self-inflicted. Neil dragged his blunt fingernails down his arm, watched pale red lines bloom on his skin, and forcibly redirected his attention back to the task at hand.
It didn’t take long to find an outfit that fit. Finding Betsy turned out to be harder, and he kept his distance from her while she finished picking out groceries. Her basket was full enough Neil knew she was shopping for more than one meal. He almost asked how long she intended on staying in Columbia, but he didn’t want to open up another conversation. He still had to deal with her for the next leg of the trip.
Betsy said nothing when they got in the car again, though, and took them to Exites. Neil went in alone with the team’s p-card and bought a new practice stick. The price wasn’t any easier to stomach today. Neil signed the receipt, stuffed his copy in his pocket with a mental note to apologize to Wymack for being so expensive, and brought the racquet out to the car. That left just one stop on their list.
After his childhood home in Baltimore, the Hemmicks’ house was the last place in the world Neil wanted to be. Andrew’s car was still parked at the curb, and Betsy pulled up behind it. She offered Neil a key, but Neil made no move to take it. His brain connected the pieces but refused to accept the final picture. Andrew wouldn’t even let Aaron and Kevin drive his car.
‘You do have a license, don’t you?’ Betsy asked.
Neil had a couple, but none had his current name on it. ‘Yes.’
‘Do you know the way back or will you follow?’
‘You go ahead,’ Neil said, taking the key at last. ‘I have to get Andrew’s knives.’
‘I’ll wait here,’ Betsy said.
It was the answer Neil expected, if not the one he wanted, and he didn’t waste time arguing with her. He crossed the lawn to the front door and pressed the doorbell. It took three tries before he finally heard movement on the other side of the door. Maria opened the door just wide enough for Neil to see half of her face. Neil didn’t know if guilt made her defensive or if she expected some sort of violent retribution, but he didn’t have the energy to deal with her stonewalling him. He hooked a hand around the door so she couldn’t slam it without breaking his fingers and wedged his shoe into the crack as far as he could.
‘Let me in,’ Neil said. ‘We left something here yesterday.’
‘I will get it for you,’ Maria said. ‘Tell me where to find it.’
‘In the bed you made for your own nephew,’ Neil said.
Maria flinched so hard she almost yanked the door shut. Before Neil had to fight his way in she let go of the knob and backed out of his way. She retreated well out of reach and wrapped her arms tight around her middle like she could squeeze herself into nothingness. Neil strode past her and went upstairs. Luther was nowhere in sight. Neil hoped he was behind bars somewhere.
He’d broken the bedroom door last night, and the arrival of techs and emergency workers had only worsened the damage. The door was ajar by several inches this morning, but someone had thought to tape a blanket to the doorframe like a makeshift curtain. Neil yanked it down so Luther and Maria would have to fix it again and tossed it off to one side. The door groaned when he pushed it open, and he flicked on the light.
Neil wasn’t a stranger to death and he wasn’t fazed by the sight of blood, but one glimpse at the rumpled bed gave him pause. The sheets were gone, but the mattress was stained a blackish red where Drake had bled. The paint and window curtains were still splattered in places. Neil looked at the headboard like he’d see Andrew’s fingerprints engraved in the wood and swallowed hard against a dizzying nausea. He breathed through his mouth as he crossed the room to the bed.
The mattress was askew from all the rough handling last night, but the box spring looked untouched. Neil hooked his hands under it and lifted it off the frame. Andrew’s bands were right where Neil left them, balancing on the wooden slats. He picked them up and let the box spring fall. He managed one step back, then stopped to look at the mess again. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there staring at the blood before he realized what he was doing. He had to go before Betsy came looking for him. He didn’t want Betsy to see this; he didn’t want her to start asking questions. Neil didn’t have any answers. All he had was anger and regret.
He took the stairs down as quickly as he could without tripping. Maria wasn’t in the hall, and Neil left the front door wide open behind him. He passed between the cars so Betsy could see the bands he carried and went to the driver’s side door of Andrew’s car. He got the lock undone, climbed in, and slammed the door behind him harder than he should have. He knew Betsy was waiting for him to make the first move so he adjusted the seat and mirrors as quickly as he could. He slid the key into the ignition, but his hand seized up before he could turn it.
Neil learned to drive in Europe when he was thirteen, but he’d never driven alone before. It’d always been him and his mother taking turns as they spent long nights on the road. Since her death he’d hitchhiked, walked, and gotten well-acquainted with the follies of American public transportation. Now here he was alone with the road stretched out before him and the steering wheel creaking under his clenched fingers.
He breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, trying not to smell blood and saltwater. Neil checked the other seats like he expected to find blood on them and twisted the key in the ignition almost hard enough to snap it.
Neil pulled away from the curb and led the way back to Andrew’s house. He’d never driven in Columbia before, and this was only his second time at the Hemmicks’ house, but he’d paid attention on the drive over. He still had to think about it, but the bumper-to-bumper traffic gave him plenty of time to figure it out. He was grateful for the distraction. If he was reversing turns in his head, he wasn’t thinking about bloodied mattresses and Andrew’s inappropriate cheer.
An unfamiliar car was parked behind Wymack’s. Neil assumed it was Waterhouse getting an early start on his day and his new case. Neil pulled into the driveway and let Betsy park behind him. Betsy looked like she could handle the groceries, so Neil grabbed his own things and got the door. He checked the living room first, found it empty, and continued to the kitchen. Abby and Wymack were sitting at the table.
Neil gave Wymack the receipt and card. ‘I can pay you back for one of them.’
‘I look like I need your money, wise guy?’ Wymack asked.
The rustling of plastic bags heralded Betsy’s arrival. The room felt a thousand times smaller with all three of them in there. Neil took a couple steps back from the table to give himself breathing room and asked, ‘The lawyer is here?’
‘They both are,’ Wymack said, and looked to Betsy. ‘You mind explaining that?’
Betsy nodded but asked, ‘Where are Nicky and Kevin?’
‘Nicky tried to hug Andrew and almost got himself staked with a kitchen knife,’ Wymack said. ‘Kevin was smart enough to get him out of here. Last I saw either of them, they were shut in Nicky’s bedroom.’
‘Is he hurt?’
‘David was right there, thank God,’ Abby said. ‘If he’d been a second slower…’
Betsy looked to Neil. ‘Do you mind checking on them? I just need a minute with David and Abby.’
Neil put his racquet aside and went down the hall to change. His bloodied clothes went in the empty plastic bag and he buried them at the bottom of the bathroom trash can. He looked clean when he glanced at his reflection, but he still felt dirty. Neil checked his fingernails for blood, then leaned in close to the mirror and checked his roots. The latest round of dye was still holding up.
He had his hand on the knob when he heard Abby’s startled outburst. He couldn’t understand her words from this distance, but he understood the incredulous anger just fine. He put an ear to the door, but she was quick to lower her voice again.
Neil turned the knob as quietly as he could and eased the door open. He held his breath, waiting for the door to creak and give him away, but nothing came. As soon as he could fit he sneaked into the hall. Nicky’s room was close enough that Nicky and Kevin would have heard Abby’s outrage, but Nicky’s door stayed closed. There was no sound from upstairs, either. Neil took a few silent steps toward the kitchen.
It was obvious Abby was trying to keep her voice down, but her strident tone helped her words carry. ‘—kind of trauma with another is not going to solve anything. It’ll only make things worse. I understand what you’re getting at, but this isn’t the way.’
‘This is the only ethical solution,’ Betsy said.
‘You can’t—’
‘She can,’ Wymack said, cutting Abby off. Abby made a strangled noise as if she couldn’t believe Wymack was siding against her. The kitchen went quiet for a tense moment before Wymack spoke again. ‘If you’re sure this is the best option, I’m not going to stop you. I trust you to do what’s right by my kids.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Betsy said. ‘I know what this means for your season.’
‘You worry about Andrew,’ Wymack said. ‘I’ll worry about my season.’
‘Andrew won’t agree to this,’ Abby said, a last-ditch effort to change their minds. ‘Going means leaving Kevin behind. They haven’t had more than a campus between them since Andrew took Kevin under his wing. He’s not going to change things now, especially not with Riko in our district.’
‘Andrew doesn’t have to agree,’ Wymack said. ‘It’s Betsy’s call.’
Neil had heard enough. He stepped into the kitchen doorway. Betsy had taken a seat at the table. Abby and Wymack were so focused on her they didn’t notice Neil’s arrival, but Betsy was facing the doorway and glanced up at his entrance. She didn’t look at all surprised to find him eavesdropping on them.
‘Where are you taking him?’ Neil asked.
Abby jumped and flicked a guilty look his way. ‘Neil, I didn’t hear you come in.’
Neil ignored her and insisted, ‘Where are you taking him?’
‘Easthaven Hospital,’ Betsy said. ‘I’m going to take Andrew off his medicine.’
Neil felt the floor tilt beneath his feet. ‘What?’
‘It’s not official just yet,’ Betsy said. ‘I need Mr. Blackwell to sign off on it. He was the prosecuting attorney at Andrew’s trial. He’s here now with Mr. Waterhouse to evaluate the situation. I strongly doubt he’ll contest this, so we should be able to commit Andrew to Easthaven by this afternoon.’
‘Commit him as in lock him up,’ Neil said.
‘When Dr. Ellerby and Mr. Waterhouse wrote up the original agreement they did it in a way that would garner the least resistance from the prosecution. One of the terms Andrew agreed to was twenty-four-hour supervision during his rehabilitation. Easthaven is one of the best hospitals in the state. He will be in good hands.’
‘But for how long?’
‘Up in the air,’ Wymack said. ‘Andrew was scheduled for rehab in May so he’d be out of classes. It’ll take time to get the drugs out of his system. Once his head’s cleared the staff has to figure out the next step in his treatment, whether it’s ongoing counseling or some new type of happy pill. Take Andrew’s complete inability to cooperate into account and we’re looking at maybe four, five weeks.’
‘If we get him back by New Year’s it’ll be a miracle,’ Abby said, with a hint of her former frustration. ‘You’re forcing him through withdrawal and recovery at the same time.’
‘It’s both or neither,’ Betsy said. ‘You know that.’
‘Do it,’ Neil said when Abby started to argue again.
His breathless command had all three of them looking at him, but Neil had eyes only for Betsy. He’d wanted to hurt her in the car for reinforcing the awful rules of Andrew’s medicine. She hadn’t defended herself because she knew she didn’t need to. She knew just like he did how cruel it was to keep Andrew on his drugs, and she’d already reached out to the people who could help him.
Betsy’s smile was small and approving. ‘I promise I’ll try. Wish us luck?’ She plucked a new chocolate bar off the counter and led Wymack and Abby upstairs.
Neil didn’t really believe in luck, but he watched them go and hoped for it anyway.