The Raven King: Chapter 10
Neil went looking for Renee after his math class on Monday. He’d had a couple months to learn the gist of his teammates’ schedules. He didn’t want that kind of knowledge taking up space in his head, but he spent too much time with the Foxes to not know where they were everyday. He knew Renee’s schedule was like his: she had two back-to-back classes, then a free period before her next lesson. The trick was getting to her before she got too far from her classroom, but luckily Renee was only one building over from him. That proximity was why she’d been chosen to walk him from math to history the day of their opening game.
He took the stairs down to the sidewalk as quick as he could, dodging students who were in no particular hurry to get anywhere and neatly avoiding those who were in as much of a rush as he was. He caught the edge of a vending machine to help whip him around the corner of the building and spotted Renee’s distinctive hair maybe twenty feet away. Neil squished his reservations and unease deep and set off after her.
Renee glanced over when he finally caught up with her, and Neil didn’t miss the way her eyebrows shot up. ‘Neil, hello. This is rare.’
‘Are you busy?’ Neil asked. ‘I wondered if we could talk for a couple minutes.’
Renee laughed. ‘I should stop betting against Andrew when it comes to you,’ she said, then explained when Neil frowned at her. ‘He told me you’d come see me but I didn’t think you were ready yet. But to answer your original question: no, I’m not that busy. Do you mind talking as we walk?’
Neil didn’t have another class for two hours, so he followed her on an easy stroll across campus. Between campus, Perimeter Road, and downtown was a grassy park referred to as the Green. If it had an official name Neil hadn’t seen it on any brochures. He assumed Renee wanted to sprawl and soak up some sun like so many other students were doing, but she cut a path around the dozing co-eds toward the downtown shops.
‘Did Andrew say why I wanted to talk to you?’ Neil asked when they were halfway across the Green.
‘He was a little vague on the details,’ Renee said.
‘I asked you this once and you didn’t really answer,’ Neil said. ‘Now can you tell me why Andrew likes you?’
‘Last year Andrew took a few of us out to Eden’s Twilight one at a time,’ Renee said. ‘You know now why Andrew invited Matt. He invited Dan to see if she was a woman worth following on the court. He asked me because he, like you, didn’t buy into this front.’ She gestured at her face and rested her fingertips on her cross necklace. ‘He wanted the truth, so I told him.
‘Andrew found out he and I have a lot in common.’ Renee glanced at Neil as they stopped at a crosswalk on Perimeter Road. ‘The only differences between us are luck and faith.’
‘And psychosis,’ Neil said.
Renee smiled. ‘Maybe not. I am a bad person trying very hard to be a good person, but I would not be trying at all if not for the outside interventions in my life. I grew up with my mother and her string of heavy-handed boyfriends.’
She seemed unbothered by her words and turned a calm stare on the crosswalk as she spoke. ‘Maybe it is inevitable that I got into trouble myself. I started working as a lookout and runner for one of Detroit’s gangs. It took me a couple years to work my way up to harder work. I did anything they asked me to and didn’t care who I hurt.
‘Fortunately for me, I was not as smart as I thought I was. When I was fifteen the police caught me, and my lawyer traded my testimony for a reduced sentence. My words got a lot of people in trouble, including my mother. My lawyer explained my home life so the court would understand my lack of positive role models. His findings sent both my mother and her then-lover to prison on assorted charges. They were beaten to death by angry members of the gang I helped put away.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Neil said, when in reality he was a little jealous. Both she and Wymack lost their parents to prison violence, but no one dared attack his father. It would solve a world of problems for Neil if a few inmates could just work up enough aggression and courage.
‘I’m not,’ Renee said, jarring Neil from his thoughts. Renee started across the street but it took Neil a couple seconds before he could follow her. Renee smiled at him when he caught up. ‘I know I should be, but that’s still something I’m working on. I know I was directly responsible for the circumstances that led to their murders, but to be honest I hated them. On top of that, without my mother’s death I never would have ended up here.
‘With my mother dead and my biological father in the wind, the courts had no choice but to release me into foster care after my year at a juvenile facility,’ Renee said. ‘I made life as difficult as I could for my foster families and jumped eight homes in two years. Stephanie Walker found out about me from one of my foster mothers at her high school reunion. She put in a request for me, pushed until it was approved, and moved me to North Dakota as soon as it was finalized. She gave me a new name, a new faith, and a new chance at life.’
Renee hadn’t been exaggerating when she said she and Andrew were a lot alike. They had violent, unstable upbringings thanks to their mothers and spent time in both juvie and the foster system. Their paths split irrevocably after their respective adoptions. Renee let Stephanie shape her into a decent human being and atoned for her past brutality whereas Andrew murdered his mother the first chance he got. Neil finally understood why Renee wasn’t afraid of Andrew.
‘Then why don’t you and Andrew work?’ Neil asked.
‘I’m sorry,’ Renee said. ‘Work how?’
‘Why haven’t you asked him out?’
The look on her face said it was the last question she’d expected from him. She bought herself time by motioning Neil into the next shop. Neil went in first but stepped aside so she could lead the way. The look she gave him on her way by was assessing, but she turned to the task at hand soon enough and rummaged through the trinkets on the closest shelf.
‘What is all this about, if you don’t mind my asking?’ she asked. ‘You’ve never seemed interested before.’
‘I’m not,’ Neil said, but that didn’t make sense considering he’d been the one to bring it up.
Neil grasped for a good way to explain. He didn’t want to tell her he’d spent Friday night thinking about dying. He hadn’t wanted to think about a future he didn’t have, so he stood at the railing and thought about his teammates instead. It was a strange exercise, as fascinating as it was discomforting. He wasn’t used to worrying about anyone but himself and his mother, but he’d tried imagining the Foxes’ lives a year or two down the road. He wondered what sort of strikers Kevin would recruit to replace him and how much fallout the Foxes would face after he gave himself over to the FBI.
But mostly he thought about them as the people he’d spent the evening with, the people he was getting to know almost against his will. They’d never be perfect, but they were going to be all right. They’d come to the Foxhole Court as fractured messes but they were fixing each other one semester at a time. Even Kevin was going to come out of this on top. He wasn’t going to fade into obscurity like Tetsuji and Riko thought he would; he would ride the Foxes’ resurgence to the top and reclaim his place in the spotlight.
The only one besides Neil who didn’t have a way out was Andrew. Kevin and Nicky both thought they had the right solution for Andrew’s problem, but Neil wasn’t sure anymore which one of them he believed. But he couldn’t tell Renee that, either, because he didn’t want to explain why it was suddenly so important. It wouldn’t mean anything to her when she didn’t know who he was and what Andrew had offered him.
‘Never mind,’ he said.
He started to turn away, but Renee said, ‘I’m not Andrew’s type, Neil. There’s nothing between us.’
‘Allison said that,’ Neil said, searching Renee’s face for the truth. ‘She told Seth not to worry about you two getting together. But the others are all waiting for something to happen. You have to know how many times they’ve bet on you. If you can say ‘no’ so easily to me, why haven’t you set anyone else straight yet?’
‘It’s complicated,’ Renee said, ‘and we profit more from silence. Allison believed me when I said I wouldn’t fall for Andrew. The others stopped listening when Andrew and I started talking more. I reward Allison’s trust in me by stacking the odds in her favor on any bets about us. She and I split the proceeds. I put my winnings aside for our Christmas Adopt-a-Family project. Allison buys manicures with hers.’
‘How does Andrew benefit?’ Neil asked. ‘Free entertainment watching everyone guess?’
‘Peace of mind,’ Renee said after a moment’s consideration.
‘I don’t understand.’
Renee hesitated again. Neil watched as she rummaged through a collection of leather wallets. She held one up and turned it this way and that. ‘Andrew said you would have questions for me. I asked him what he wanted me to say if you came by, but he said he didn’t care and didn’t have time to play moderator. If he knew this was what you wanted to talk about I’ll assume he knew this would come up.’
Renee put the wallet back, let her fingers linger a few seconds longer as she debated, then turned to face Neil fully. ‘When I said I wasn’t Andrew’s type, I meant it. It’s not about my looks or faith. It’s that I’m a woman.’
Neil heard her words but was slow to understand them. He blinked at her in confusion, blinked again when it clicked, and said a little too loudly, ‘Oh. Then Andrew and Kevin—’
Renee laughed and waved that off. ‘Oh, no. You’ll meet Kevin’s girlfriend later this year, I’m sure.’
‘You’re lying.’ Neil stared at her. ‘Kevin doesn’t have a girlfriend. He’s under too much scrutiny from the press and his fans to hide that kind of thing.’
Renee cased the store in a slow, easy look. This time of day there was only one other customer, and he was on the far side of the store from them. ‘They’re not official, and Kevin knows better than to be indiscreet. Can you imagine what Coach Moriyama might do if a woman distracted Kevin from his game?
‘I’m sure it does not surprise you that she is a Court-ranked player. Kevin needs someone who can keep up with and challenge him. Fortunately she is also a Raven alumnus, so she knows the repercussions of getting caught with Kevin. Maybe they’ll have more luck after we’ve settled things with the Ravens this year.’
‘Thea?’ Neil asked, startled.
Renee smiled at how quickly he put it together. ‘Impressive.’
It wasn’t that hard to figure it out, even with her vague explanation. There were only two women on the Court’s roster. One was a dealer from USC. The other, Theodora Muldani, was a backliner from Edgar Allan. Her ascension to the national team two years ago drew a lot of attention since she was the only player who’d turned down her initial invitation. Her official reason was she didn’t want the Court schedule interfering with her fifth year at university. No one expected the national team to give her a second chance, but the Court’s representative was waiting for her at her final championships game.
Thea would have been starting her fifth year with the Ravens when Kevin started his freshman year, but Kevin and Riko grew up at Evermore around the Raven line. Kevin would have known Thea her entire five-year career as a Raven. Neil wondered how long it took them to fall for each other and what Thea thought of Kevin’s transfer to the Foxes. He was more curious how Kevin found room in his heart for someone else when he lived and breathed Exy. It seemed impossible that a man could be so devoted to more than one thing.
Maybe Nicky and Kevin were both right, then. Neil’s thoughts spun back to Andrew, and he said, ‘No one else knows about Andrew’s sexuality.’
‘As far as I know, you and I are the only ones,’ Renee confirmed. ‘Andrew told me last year when the others started talking about us. He didn’t want me getting any ideas from their gossip, he said.’
‘But Aaron and Nicky,’ Neil protested. ‘I know they’ve only known him a couple years, but they’re with him all the time. How could they not have figured it out by now?’
‘I assume Andrew’s medicine makes him a hard read for even them,’ Renee said. ‘More importantly, Andrew does not want them to know. He and Aaron aren’t ready for a conversation this serious yet. They have too many other problems to work through first. And you know as well as I do Nicky can’t keep a secret to save his life.’
Yet, Renee had said, which meant Andrew intended on fixing things with his brother at some point. Neil didn’t know if that was her optimism speaking or if she knew it as fact. He didn’t know what she and Andrew talked about when they stood off by themselves. Thinking it was Exy strategies was laughable. Imagining them having a serious conversation—as serious as a drugged Andrew could be, anyway—about Andrew’s closeted sexuality was equally impossible.
‘Then why can I know?’ Neil asked.
‘Perhaps he knows you won’t use it against him,’ Renee said.
There was a gentle warning in her words, and Neil bristled despite himself. His teammates’ relationships were interesting to observe from a distance but otherwise inconsequential. Neil didn’t care about his teammates’ sexualities because it had nothing to do with his survival. Andrew’s sexuality was surprising, but it certainly wasn’t ammunition to use against him.
It took a little work to keep the edge out of his voice. ‘If he doesn’t care whether or not I know, he could have told me himself at Halloween when I asked him about you. He didn’t have to send me all the way here.’
‘Maybe he thought it past time you and I got to know each other a little better.’ Renee studied Neil. ‘I am not the girl I once was, but the shade of my old life will always exist inside of me. That is what helps me connect with Andrew. I am hoping it will help me connect with you.
‘I do not know your story,’ she continued before Neil could react. ‘If you’ve trusted Andrew with anything, he hasn’t shared the details with me and he never will. But if you are as like us as we first predicted you to be, perhaps one day you can also come to see me as a friend. We’re all here because we have problems, Neil. That doesn’t mean all our problems are the same. Dan and Matt try to understand the things I’ve seen and done, but they will never fully succeed. Andrew understands me, and I him. It’s comforting knowing someone else has been where we once were. If either Andrew or I can help you, please know we are here.’
Neil didn’t answer that; he couldn’t. It was too much to think about and too much to consider. He wanted to ask her about the trial and what it was like giving testimony. He needed to know how the courts protected her and if it was worth it. If he went to the FBI in spring with proof to take his father down he’d at least like an idea of what he was getting into. That would open up far too many questions than he wanted to deal with today, though. He wasn’t willing to trust her with even the half-truths he’d given Andrew.
Renee didn’t look surprised or disappointed by his long silence. She gave him a minute to make up his mind, then nodded and changed the subject with an ease that left him reeling.
‘Maybe now that I’ve sated your curiosity you can help me. I need a boy’s opinion on gifts for Aaron and Andrew. For their birthday,’ she said at the blank look on Neil’s face. ‘They didn’t celebrate it last year, and Nicky says they haven’t celebrated it since they moved in together, but hopefully this one is different. They turn twenty on Saturday. That’s something worth commemorating, isn’t it?’
‘I guess so,’ Neil said.
His half-hearted agreement was good enough for her, and she motioned to the shelf in front of her. ‘I’m thinking something practical they can use. What do you think?’
It took them two stores and almost half an hour of searching before Renee finally found what she wanted. By that point it was coming up quick on Renee’s next class. Neil still had an hour to kill and he was only a couple minutes from Fox Tower, so he parted ways with Renee at Perimeter Road. She headed across the Green to campus and Neil went the other way to the athletes’ dormitory. His room was blessedly empty. Neil dropped his backpack on the floor, sprawled face-down on Matt’s couch, and let his thoughts run in curious circles over everything Renee had told him.
By the time he got up for class again, he still didn’t know what to think.
–
Frantic thumping on the suite door startled Neil and Matt from their TV lunch on Saturday. Matt scrambled to find the remote where it’d fallen between the cushions, so Neil put his plate aside and hopped up to answer the door. The girls knew Matt kept the door unlocked if he was in the room, so Neil expected to find someone lost on their way to another team’s room. Instead a wild-eyed Nicky was waiting in the hall.
‘Oh thank God,’ Nicky said, reaching for Neil with both hands. ‘Help.’
Matt finally found the remote and paused their movie. ‘What the hell? You all right?’
‘I’m two seconds away from being dead,’ Nicky said. ‘Mom just called to wish Andrew and Aaron a happy birthday.’
‘And that’s a bad thing?’ Matt asked.
Nicky gaped at Matt, but surprise quickly washed away his disbelief. He rubbed the back of his neck in obvious discomfort. Neil expected him to laugh it off. The cousins’ first response to personal problems was to close ranks against the upperclassmen. Nicky might not like it, but he’d done it time and time again throughout the season. It caught both Neil and Matt off-guard when Nicky actually answered.
‘Uh, yeah,’ Nicky hedged. ‘We don’t really talk to my family, you know? Dad hasn’t said a word to me since he found out Erik’s more than just my best friend. Mom calls on Christmas to see if I’ve returned to God and disconnects when I tell her no. I don’t think Aaron’s spoken to them since Aunt Tilda’s funeral, and Andrew avoids them like they’re a contagious disease. He and Dad didn’t hit it off too well when they met at juvie.’
‘It couldn’t have gone that badly,’ Matt said. ‘I mean, your dad supported his early release, right?’
‘Yeah, but.’ Nicky fidgeted.
‘Why did she call, really?’ Neil asked.
‘To invite us home for Thanksgiving dinner.’
‘And?’
‘And I hung up on her!’ Nicky flailed at him. ‘What else was I supposed to do? I couldn’t tell her no, could I?’
‘You were supposed to say yes,’ Matt said. ‘What the hell, Nicky?’
‘It’s not that easy.’ Nicky sounded miserable. ‘Offer’s contingent on Aaron and Andrew going, too. Mom made that clear. There’s no way Andrew will agree.’
‘You never know until you try,’ Matt said.
‘I don’t think you understand how much Andrew hates my parents,’ Nicky said.
‘So what am I supposed to do?’ Neil asked.
‘Be moral support and back-up,’ Nicky said. ‘If I go to Andrew with this, he’ll either laugh me off or pretend he doesn’t hear me. But he listens to you, right? I mean, you talked him into a team party. Maybe you can talk him into a family dinner somehow.’
‘I didn’t talk him into anything,’ Neil pointed out. ‘I said it was the smart thing to do and he agreed. This is more complicated and I shouldn’t have a say in it. I could tell him it’s obviously important to you to patch things up with your parents, but you and I both know how he’ll probably react to that.’
Nicky looked crestfallen, but he rallied with a weak, ‘I grew up in that house, but Dad hasn’t let me set foot in it since I came back out of the closet. I know they think I’m a heathen doomed to burn for eternity, and I know I should give up on them, but I can’t. Maybe this call means they’re coming around. I have to know. Please, Neil? I want my mom back. I miss her more than you know.’
Neil swallowed hard against the burning knot in his throat. This wasn’t his family. It wasn’t his problem. It wasn’t his mother. Neil’s mother was ashes and bones buried in a California beach. She was gone forever. Neil would never hear her voice again and would never get another phone call from her. She’d never sit him down and explain why she’d run or apologize for hiding his connection to the Moriyamas. She’d never watch him play with the Foxes in semifinals. She wouldn’t be there when he gave his testimony. She wouldn’t be there when he died.
Neil’s grief was a knife spinning circles in his stomach, tearing him to shreds from the inside out until he could barely breathe. He took a slow breath and counted his heartbeats on the exhale. Nicky waited, too desperate to press his luck further.
‘Wait here,’ Neil finally said.
Nicky’s expression was a whirlwind of surprise and hope. Neil couldn’t stand the sight of it and he didn’t want Nicky’s premature gratitude. He slipped past Nicky into the hallway and went two doors down to the cousins’ room. Nicky hadn’t locked the suite door behind him, so Neil let himself in with a perfunctory knock.
Aaron was waiting on one of the beanbag chairs with a controller in his hand. Judging by the indent in the other chair and the still images on the TV, Nicky’s phone call had interrupted their game. Kevin had a newspaper spread on his desk as he checked last night’s scores around the nation. Andrew was sitting on the desk closest to the window. He’d taken the screen off months ago so he could smoke indoors.
‘Oh, Neil!’ Andrew wiggled his cigarette at Neil in greeting. ‘Hello.’
‘Can we talk?’ Neil asked.
‘Today’s not a good day,’ Andrew said. ‘Try again tomorrow.’
‘I wouldn’t crash your birthday party if it wasn’t important.’
Andrew grinned. ‘Sarcasm from Neil? Your repertoire of talents is ever-expanding.’
‘Two minutes,’ Neil said.
‘So persistent.’
Neil waited for Andrew to make up his mind. Andrew hummed around his cigarette as he thought. It took him almost a full minute before curiosity won out over his sheer need to be difficult. Andrew flicked his cigarette out the window, yanked the window closed, and hopped off his desk. Neil followed Andrew into the cousins’ bedroom and tugged the door closed behind them. Andrew only continued a couple feet into the room before turning to face Neil.
‘Tick tock,’ Andrew said. ‘You have my attention; now keep my interest.’
‘Nicky’s mother called.’
‘Oops, time’s up.’
Neil put his arm out when Andrew stepped forward, but there was no way he could stop Andrew if Andrew really wanted to leave. Neil had seen how much Andrew pressed when the team did weights at the gym. More importantly than that, he’d seen Andrew practically pick Nicky up by his throat and move him when riled. The gesture was just a show. Andrew knew it, but he rocked to a stop anyway.
‘Nicky’s mother invited him home for Thanksgiving,’ Neil said.
‘He said yes,’ Andrew said, not really a question. ‘Oh, Nicky, an optimist until the day he dies. You’d think he would know better by now, but he’ll go and come back boo-hoo-hoo.’ Andrew mimed scrubbing away tears. ‘Their love has a price tag he can’t pay. He won’t give Erik up for them.’
‘They’re not after Erik this time,’ Neil said. ‘They’re bartering for you. Nicky can’t go unless he brings you and Aaron with him.’
‘Problem solved.’ Andrew’s smile was bright. ‘Denied. Maybe Abby will cook us a turkey instead. She did last year. She’s a decent cook but can’t bake to save her life. We’ll have to bring a frozen pie again.’
Neil refused to be distracted. ‘Why won’t you go?’
‘Why would I? Luther and I aren’t friends.’
‘Last I checked, we’re not your friends either,’ Neil said. ‘You still put up with us, so why won’t you tolerate Luther? Nicky assumes it has to do with the way you met, but Luther’s the one who got you out of juvie and back home with your mother, isn’t he?’
‘She was not my mother.’ Andrew waited a beat to make sure Neil understood and made a cutting gesture with his hand. ‘Cass, though, Cass? Cass would have been. She really wanted to be. Oh, you don’t know. Here’s a story for you, Neil. Listening? Cass wanted to keep me. She wanted to adopt me. Andrew Joseph Spear, she said. She collected all the paperwork but she wouldn’t file without my consent. She thought I was old enough to choose.’
‘Spear,’ Neil echoed, startled. ‘Like—’
‘Richard Spear,’ Andrew finished for him. ‘I told you all about him, yes? My last foster father.’
‘You mentioned him,’ Neil said slowly, stalling as he tried to process that bombshell. Richard Spear was the father Phil Higgins tried investigating in August. All Andrew said about him was that he was uninteresting and harmless. ‘What happened to make the adoption fall through, your arrest?’
‘No, you have it backwards. I went to juvie because she wanted to adopt me. But she didn’t give up on me. She thought a stable home could straighten me out, she said. Her biological son wanted to join the Marines after high school, so she even offered to reallocate part of his college fund to me. She wanted me to have a future. My own Stephanie Walker, of a sort.’
Neil only recognized that name because he’d just talked to Renee. He nodded to show he was following. Andrew rocked onto the balls of his feet and reached for Neil. It was all Neil could do to not tense up when Andrew’s hands wrapped around his neck. Andrew didn’t hold tight enough to cut off his air but tapped his thumbs against Neil’s throat in time to Neil’s pulse.
‘Luther would have let her have me if it was what I wanted. He knew Aaron’s mother wanted nothing to do with me, but he wanted to make things right with me somehow. If Cass was ‘right’, he would fight on her behalf to get the adoption approved. Couldn’t have that, could we?’
‘Why not?’ Neil asked, searching Andrew’s expression. ‘What did Cass do to you?’
Andrew looked surprised. ‘Cass would never do anything to me.’
‘Then what went wrong?’
‘That’s a different story. This story is about Cass and Luther, isn’t it? Luther said he could send me back to Cass. I gave him a secret to make sure he wouldn’t.’
‘And he told someone,’ Neil guessed.
‘No.’ Andrew tapped his fingers a little faster, an agitated rhythm completely at odds with the mocking smile on his lips. ‘That’s too easy. These kinds of secrets are not given out lightly. You know that. We calculate collateral damage and escape routes. We plan and brace for the reaction and fallout. But Luther did not tell. He chose to not believe me at all. And that’s a thousand times worse, you see.’
‘That depends on the secret,’ Neil said.
‘True.’ Andrew let go of Neil and wheeled away. ‘Maybe it comes as a surprise to you, Neil, but I am not a very trusting person. If I tell a man the sky is blue and he tells me I am wrong, I am not inclined to give him a second chance. I see no reason to.’
‘So did Luther not believe you or did he say you were wrong?’ Neil asked. ‘There’s a significant difference between the two.’
‘Oh.’ Andrew half-turned to face him again. ‘Sometimes I forget you are sharper than you look.’
Neil struggled with his memory, knowing the answer was right out of reach. He thought about Higgins’ visit and Nicky’s parents, and then Neil remembered sitting across from Andrew on a bench in the locker room to ask about Higgins’ first phone call. He’d thought Andrew’s parting words strange but he hadn’t understood at the time. He wasn’t sure he’d drawn the right conclusions now but it was worth a shot.
‘He said it was a misunderstanding.’
The way Andrew went so perfectly still, if only for a second, told Neil he was right.
‘Shh,’ Andrew said, soft like he was reassuring a cornered animal. ‘Shh, don’t say that. I hate the sound of that word. I warned you once so you’d know better than to use it again. Why would you risk it?’
‘Andrew,’ Neil started.
‘No.’
Andrew didn’t raise his voice, but he didn’t have to for Neil to hear the warning in it. If Neil pushed the matter any further in the wrong direction Andrew would shut down and this conversation was over for good. Neil grasped at straws, looking for the right words to say to keep Andrew talking. Maybe Andrew was right and Nicky’s parents would never accept him as he was, but Nicky needed to try.
‘That was five years ago. Maybe he’s sorry.’
‘You say that because you haven’t met Luther,’ Andrew said.
‘Can I?’
That was unexpected enough to get Andrew’s undivided attention. ‘Oh? What? Neil, you wouldn’t know what to do with a god-fearing minister. You can barely stand to be around Renee. There’s no way you could last a sit-down with Luther. He’d end up exorcising you when you snapped.’
‘It could be entertaining,’ Neil said.
‘It could be,’ Andrew allowed.
‘Let’s all go,’ Neil said. ‘Aaron will agree for Nicky’s sake and Nicky can see if his parents have come around. There’s no way you’ll let Kevin that far out of your sights, so take him with you. I’ll tag along so you can harass me instead of Luther. Imagine how uncomfortable Nicky’s parents will be if they have to contend with the five of us.’
‘Or we could stay here.’
‘Not as interesting,’ Neil said.
‘Appealing to my nonexistent attention span is a cheap trick,’ Andrew said.
‘But is it effective?’
‘You wish it was.’
‘Please?’
‘I hate that word.’
‘Does your shrink know you have a grudge against half of the English language?’ Neil asked, but Andrew only grinned. ‘I know you can’t understand this because you’ve never had a real family, but Nicky has to give his parents another try. If you’re lucky this dinner will be the breaking point. Nicky’s got his hopes up thinking his mother’s come around. If she lets him down again he might be ready to walk away for good.’
Andrew hummed tunelessly as he thought. The longer he was silent, the surer Neil was that he’d failed. Finally Andrew reached for him again. This time he hooked his fingers in Neil’s shirt collar instead of going for his throat.
‘One last chance,’ he said. ‘That’s all I’m going to give Nicky. But I won’t spend Thanksgiving with them, and I won’t play nice. Get Nicky to change the date and get your invitation. Okay?’
‘Okay,’ Neil said.
‘We’re all going to regret this.’ Andrew let go of Neil with a smile. ‘Nicky most of all if his father winds up dead.’
Neil hesitated, knowing he shouldn’t ask, knowing he’d asked too much already. In the end he couldn’t help it. ‘Did you really kill Aaron’s mother?’
‘That was a tragic accident. Didn’t you read the police reports?’ Andrew affected innocence but the twitch at the corner of his mouth gave him away. Andrew gave up the farce a couple seconds later and laughed. ‘Guess she hit him one time too many. I warned her not to lay a hand on him, but she didn’t listen to me. She got what was coming to her. Does that frighten you, Neil?’
‘My first memories are of people dying,’ Neil said. ‘I’m not afraid of you.’
‘That’s why you’re so interesting,’ Andrew said. ‘How aggravating.’
He sounded amused, not annoyed, so Neil said, ‘I’ll try to be more boring in the future.’
‘How considerate.’ Andrew motioned between their faces. ‘This is a secret given on credit, Neil. Remember it, okay? I’ll ask you for something later. We’re done talking today, so goodbye. Send my cowardly cousin back soon.’
Andrew didn’t follow when Neil left the bedroom. Neil expected to find Nicky lurking in the hall waiting for the results, but Nicky had gone into Neil’s room to wait for his return. He was perched on the far end of the couch from Matt. Nicky smiled when Neil walked in but the expression didn’t reach his eyes. He looked almost ill with nervous hope.
‘Two questions,’ Neil said, crossing the room to stand in front of Nicky. ‘If Kevin and I promise to stay out of the way of your family business, can we tag along?’ It wasn’t the question Nicky expected. Surprise and confusion startled a little of the fear out of him. Neil waited for Nicky’s uncertain nod before continuing. ‘Also, do you think your mother can change the date? Andrew refuses to see them on a major holiday.’
‘I guess so,’ Nicky said. ‘I’d have to call Mom back and ask but—wait. Andrew said yes? You’re not serious.’
Neil looked from him to Matt and back again. ‘That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?’
Nicky scrambled to his feet. ‘That’s what I wanted, but I didn’t really think you’d get it, especially not on the first try. I just knew you were my best shot at getting Andrew to listen. You’re amazing, you know that?’ He yanked Neil into a fierce hug before Neil thought to dodge. ‘Oh, you just might be the best thing to happen to the Foxes.’
‘I doubt that.’
‘I don’t.’ Nicky beamed as he let go of Neil. ‘How did you do it?’
Neil neatly excised ninety percent of the truth and said, ‘I asked.’
‘Yeah, right. Do you know what would have happened to me if I asked? Violence, Neil. Extreme and uncalled-for violence.’
Neil shrugged. Nicky let it slide, maybe too happy to care how Neil won his cousin over. He dug his phone out of his pocket and gestured toward the door. ‘I’ll call her back. Maybe we can head down next weekend. Sunday, I guess, since we’ll be on a bus coming back from Florida all day Saturday. Sooner’s better than later, right? I don’t want to risk Andrew changing his mind.’
‘Good luck,’ Neil said.
Nicky’s ear-to-ear smile was answer enough, and Nicky sailed out to make the call. Neil watched the door close behind him, then sent a questioning look at Matt. Matt was studying him with a curious intensity.
‘Why are you so special?’ Matt asked.
‘I’m not,’ Neil said, confused.
‘Andrew doesn’t give ground to anybody. Why does he keep saying yes to you?’
‘He’s high,’ Neil said, twirling a finger near his temple. ‘He thinks it’s funny.’
Matt eyed him a bit longer, then shook his head and relaxed against the back of the couch again. Neil took the seat he’d given up earlier, and Matt turned the movie back on. They weren’t much further into it when Neil’s phone buzzed with a text from Nicky. Maria had agreed to the date and the extra guests. Half of the message was smiley faces and exclamation points.
Satisfaction was a quiet heat in Neil’s chest, uncomfortable and unfamiliar. Neil brushed it aside, but in its wake was the cooler edge of unease. Neil was glad for Nicky, but he wasn’t stupid. He was really only going so he could keep an eye on Andrew. Andrew’s drugs kept him happy, but they didn’t make him harmless. If Luther stepped out of line this weekend Andrew might hurt him. The courts would lock Andrew up and throw away the key, and the Foxes’ season would screech to a sudden halt. Neil couldn’t let that happen.
He just hoped he’d be fast enough if worse came to worst.