SWNOVELS Chapter 3
I'm trying to turn from him, but there's a way about him that demands my attention. I become tingly all over. Maybe the lack of oxygen has somehow affected me. Somehow my defenses are taken off their guard with the very sight of him.
"I can't tell you everything, for the most part, because you wouldn't believe me," I say, not in an angry or demanding tone, but in a gentle, soft, and shy way.
"I'm pretty patient and understanding. Try me." He changes his tone. Maybe the change in mine was an indication to him that he'd scared me just a bit.
"It's hard to know if I can trust you. My father said not to trust anyone, particularly other men besides himself. I'll tell you what I think you need to know, then you can decide to let me go or to take me captive. If you recall, I didn't ask you to take me from the ship. I asked you to leave me."
A storm of confusion builds in his eyes. I want to tell him, but at this point, I must keep my wits, especially with him.
"That you did. I don't understand why, but... Fine, tell me what you can, and I'll go from there. I'll be back in an hour, so be ready. I do have other things to attend to as head of security, but I'm off in an hour, and I will return." He turns swiftly and leaves the room as a device on his shirt blinks. I take in every inch of him and feel my face heat.
"He's an attractive man. No need to be embarrassed."
I turn suddenly. I all but forgot the doctor was in the room. She catches me checking him out, which in turn makes my face burn hotter.
"I am, it's just, I... I'm not accustomed to the presence of men other than my father." My eyes are glued to the floor. She just smiles and goes right back to work as I gather my mind in silence.
I collect all the details I can tell him and all the things I can't. The fact is, I'm not able tell him the whole prophecy, but I have to explain how all this came about. Although, strangely enough, I have an urge to be completely and totally forward with him. I still don't think he'll believe me, because no one ever does.
A man from the Commerce once came to our planet to give us aid when my mother was trying to find a safe place for me to grow up. She was afraid of me, but I'm sure she loved me. Every mother loves their child, right? The Commerce man had to see my powers to believe them, and ultimately decided, because of my father, that I would be safe there for the time being. They didn't believe the Raspites were a threat as long as they didn't know I existed.
As I go over everything in my head, I recall what the man said as he stabbed me. "My sacrifice will serve my people." I can't help but wonder what he meant. Had the Raspites sent him? Or had someone else? He wasn't dressed like anyone special, but who's to say he was sent to assassinate me or to serve a darker purpose.
The hour flies by as I focus. I keep being brought back to this urge to reveal all to Lieutenant Wolf. Maybe I should just lay it all out. No, I can't.
The door to the hospital bay opens, and there he stands, staring at me with those incredible green eyes.
"Well, I'm back. Everything's been passed off to the next shift, so if you're ready, so am I." I look at him for a minute and then at the doctor. He gives her a nod. She lets out a frustrated sigh and walks out the door. I guess she feels my need for privacy is an annoyance and disruption to her work.
"I don't know how or what to say to you exactly. I was trying to work things out in a manner that didn't sound crazy or scrambled and without telling you more then you need to know." I'm rambling, trying to fight what's going on inside me. I can't allow myself to be fully open with anyone. Least of all a man who may take advantage of the fact I need someone else to help me gain control of my powers.
"And what did you come up with?" His face is stern, yet it's in no way cruel. It almost seems as though he's trying to hide his frustration with me.
I begin carefully. I must control what comes out. "I was born with several abilities, some of which you have already witnessed. My ability to heal and my ability to stay alive against all normal odds."
He stands before me. "Okay, I believe that because I've seen it. I want to know what else you can do, but first, why did you want to be left on the ship alone?"
My feet hang over the side of the hovering table, and I swing them nervously back and forth. I clasp my hands over the blanket, not allowing it to fall. He already saw me naked when they found me, since all my clothing was burned off. As this thought enters my head, I turn beat red. He smiles at my random blushing.
"I, somewhat, may possibly be the cause of all the damage to the ship." I hear the scatterbrained way I sound. I fight back my tears of guilt as the faces of the dead haunt me. My emotions are everywhere, and I'm having problems staying focused.
"You caused all that?" His face becomes a little more skeptical. This is the reaction I'm used to from everyone, but it sends a sharp pain into my chest when it happens with him. I'm just not sure if he'll understand the rest of what I have to say. How can I tell him he brought a ticking time bomb aboard? And why, or rather, what is this feeling of uncontrollable eagerness to please him? I connect with his eyes, lost for words as I search for a way to tell him, without making him look at me like most others do after learning the truth.
"It started off as an escape from my world to protect my people. I don't have complete control over my powers, and some things, like defending myself, happens without my knowledge or ability to stop it." I'll have to go further into everything that led up to me destroying the ship, but I do so hesitantly because, for some reason, I find that I like being near him. It is, however, a big distraction from my recounting of the events.
"Wow, whoa, so you have these powers you can't control. Um, I believe you, but how does that lead to the ship being completely obliterated?" He seems unsure.
I continue to divulge information related to the incident. "If the Raspites would have come to my home planet and attacked, I could have wiped out my entire planet without meaning to. My father said that the Commerce could advise us on a safe place away from other populations and people, so that if something happened, I wouldn't be responsible for wiping out an entire planet. It isn't my fault or, uh, it is, but I can't control it. It just happens."
His face becomes more serious as he listens intently. "What happened? I am still a bit confused. Just tell me how you destroyed that ship."
"We boarded the ship, thinking we were safe, but somehow they found us. They sent an assassin. Someone from my own planet must have been working with the Raspites, because he knew exactly who we were, and when he attacked, he killed my father, a few other passengers, and my guard. He then attempted to kill me..." I pause. It sickens me that I'm responsible for the death of so many. "When I was attacked, I couldn't..."
He interrupts me before I can finish. "You couldn't stop it. You went into a defensive mode, and it wiped out everything and everyone else." His eyes are kind and sympathetic. I was certain he would run, but he just stands there.
"Yes, exactly. I didn't want to harm all those people. Then, when you found me, I just wanted to be left there. I would have been safe, and so would have everyone else. I would have stayed in a survival mode, unable to hurt anyone."
There's a smile of sorts stretching across his lips. "You won't hurt us; I won't let you." His smile holds me in a new state that I'm a bit unfamiliar with.
"You can't guarantee that. Any little thing could set me off, and I'd kill everyone aboard this ship." I pull away from his glare, as hard as it is for me to do.
"You'll have to stay in the med bay. The doctor wants to watch you for a bit longer, plus it'll give me a chance to contact the council and find some more comfortable lodgings for you. Try to get some sleep. I'll be back in the morning. After all, I need my rest. Although, I don't know that I'll be able to sleep after that." He still smiles as he reaches for my shoulder.
I flinch as his hand grazes me. The fact that I'm secluded mixes with the unusual desire to be near him. The sheer surprise that he isn't terrified of me causes this reaction.
"Sorry," he says as he realizes my discomfort.
"It's, um, not you. It's nothing really. Just not used to human contact." My head is angled toward the floor. I'm not sure how to explain my reaction and not hurt his feelings.
"I didn't even think about it; it was meant to comfort not scare you." He scans me with his astounding eyes, and I blush, which has happened more in this one day than in my entire lifetime.
"I was very isolated on my home world. The presence of people, of males, will take some getting used to." I do want him to touch me, but at the same time, it's a bit frightening.
"I'll do my best to remember that. I must be going. Goodnight." He is nice to me; maybe I terrify him. Maybe he'll reconsider being close to me just as everyone else always has.
"Thank you, and I'll stay in here. I promise. Goodnight, Lieutenant Wolf." I lay down and roll over, wrapping myself in a blanket burrito.
"You can call me Patrick."
I see his reflection in the panel over the bed next to me. He looks me over one more time before he leaves. I don't respond, only adjust myself on the bed while watching his reflection. I bite my lower lip to stop from smiling, in case he can see me.
He grins and is gone.
I lay in the room full of beeping monitors and other medical equipment, deep in thought. Restless, I picture the death of my father over and over. When I close my eyes, my mind replays the scene. Is there something, anything, I missed? Some clue as to how this man knew who we were? I want so badly to know who sent him. After all, very few of my own people know who I am. The one man from the Commerce knew, but I've grown since he last saw me. Perhaps it was my father who gave us away. He was well known among all our trade planets.