SWNOVELS Chapter 17
"No that is why Woorm was banned from the meeting. They do realize that to others you may seem like one and they won't give up on getting you. I, they just want to find a way to protect you." His voice is clouded with emotions.
"I don't need protection; I need to protect everyone else. I just don't understand why they won't listen." I stand and begin pacing back and forth. He stands and grabs my hand and I turn to face him.
"All this worry isn't going to help." He says.
"They would trap you on the planet with me." I look at him and he just places his hand on my cheek and looked into my eyes.
"It might not be so bad." What is he saying, he can't possibly know what it feels like to be caged?
"Patrick I..." I can't finish my thought as I look into his eyes.
"Perhaps we should go to dinner." He holds my hand and pulls me lightly towards the door.
"Could we just take it to the room I am exhausted from all of this." I really don't feel like being around people at all.
"We can do whatever you feel like." We leave the conference room he holds my hand as we make our way to the elevator. I see the entire staff on the deck staring at us. I am eager for the doors to open and let us in. The ride is a quite one except for the call he makes to the cafeteria to order dinner be brought to the room.
"Cafeteria this is Lieutenant Wolf I would like two trays brought up to the room." He says politely, maybe I am starting to rub off on him.
"Yes sir right away." The voice on the other end answers. By the time we make it to the room the dinner is already setting on the table.
"Wow how?" I don't quite understand how they beat us up here.
"There are other elevators, the one we use is just the main one." He says as he pulls out my seat. I don't touch dinner. I am not very hungry after everything that has been said in today's meeting.
"I know you are upset, but you need to eat something." He says as he cut a piece of his own steak off and put it into his mouth. I just watch him for a second as neither of us seem to know what to say or do.
"I can't. As your father said they have pretty much made up their mind to surround me with innocent people, no matter what it may mean will happen to them. All it will take is me losing my temper and they all die." I don't even pick up my fork as I stare down at my plate. It looks amazing I just don't want it. I am so emotionally and mentally exhausted. I wonder what it would take to make them see I am right, and if they didn't, what would become of me?
"I don't know how to help you." He says looking over at me. I just stand and walk over to the window and open the shade so I can stare out into the vast space. There are no close planets but it is still beautiful. It helps me relax a little as I run through the events of the day.
"I will go with you I can help you learn to focus." He comes up behind me and pulls me around gently to where I face him. "I will do whatever you need me to do." I just look at him for a second.
"I cannot ask you to give up your life. I watched my father and mother drift apart because of me. I won't allow you to give up what you love for me." I say looking at his shirt as I play with it with my hands.
"You don't get it do you." He looks at me.
"Get what?" I ask as I return my gaze to his.
"I love you. I don't have anything that means more to me. I have been so wrapped up in my job that I haven't taken the time to notice anything else. Then you came along and changed everything. I cannot imagine going on without you." The way he looks at me makes me melt a bit inside but I can't give in.
"You would give up everything you have worked for and accomplished to be with me." I am surprised I have never I thought that anyone could be in love with a person that could kill them with a thought. It is very strange to feel like this. I want to tell him that there is a way to control my powers but at the same time I want to be myself. Giving into him would not allow me to do that.
"I would." I lean in to his chest and lay my head on it as I listen to his heart beat. We stand there holding each other. I wonder if I should tell him the truth. I know he would not understand why I waited so long. No, I can't tell him, not yet anyway. I will try one more time to convince the council that they will regret putting innocent people to guard me. I have to protect him. I have to find a way to show them what it means for people to be in close proximity to me. I will have to allow myself to lose control during the meeting. Perhaps if I do so they will understand. The only thing I am really afraid of is that I will not be able to pull it all back in. I will have to step away from the table and try to not hurt Patrick or the captain. What else am I to do?
"I, I need some rest." I say as I pull away and I walk into the bedroom to lay down. Patrick closes the door behind me and I can hear him unfolding the bed from the couch. I lay quietly in the bed staring at the ceiling. I know my father would understand what I was about to do, in fact he would have encouraged it had he been here as well. I sob quietly as I thought of what might happen if; if I lose it and kill everyone on here. Perhaps I should ask Patrick to leave the room all together just in case, but even then he would be in danger if I couldn't pull it back. What if that is what it takes to get the message through? What if killing everyone on this ship is the only way to get them to hear me? My thoughts drift and I keep thinking about the third voice I had heard in the captain's quarters. Who was she and what were they talking about? I couldn't help but focus on this. I didn't know what was going on, but everything was starting not make since anymore.
"Daddy help me." I say quietly. My thoughts turn to the passenger vessel. I found myself wishing that I hadn't moved. That I would have laid still and they would have passed me off as dead. I finally manage to fall asleep, but the dreams I began to have are horrible. I keep seeing images from the wrecked ship. I see the assassins face as he leans into me and whispers in my ear. I can see the faces and the fear of those trying to escape the corridor. I see my father bleeding out at my feet and I felt the uncontrollable power come over me. In my head I could see Patrick heart broken and he was all alone as well. I sit up in bed, why can't I just focus on what my father wanted for me? Why are my feelings for Patrick getting in the way? I just want all this to be over without adding to the ghost that haunt me, to be alone where I could never hurt anyone again.
The morning has come ever so quickly this time. I didn't sleep at all after the dream of Patrick. I get up and start getting dressed. I look in to the closet where my dresses are hung, I reach up and grab the purple outfit that I had put on when I had first kissed Patrick. I fix my hair and head out of the bedroom. Patrick is in the bathroom getting ready I can hear him talking to someone so I edge closer to the door.
"Are you sure this is the only way?" Patrick asks.
"Yes it is the only way to get it done." The voice sounds familiar but I can't place it. Is it the same woman that had been talking to him and the captain yesterday? I take a breath and raise my hand in a lose fist to knock on the door.
"Yes. What is it?" Patrick's voice came out of the room and I no longer heard the female so he must have been on the intercom or a call.
"Patrick we only have a few minutes to get to the deck before the council reconvenes." I say through the closed door.
"Oh yes of course I am almost done." He responds.
"Is everything okay?" I am not sure if he knows I have heard the end of his conversation or not. Who is this woman that seems to be avoiding my detection? It seems I only hear her through a closed door.
"Yes of course my love everything is fine, just one more minute." He says. I wait not so patiently for him to come out of the bathroom. I have to figure out how to tell him of my plan to get them to do what I want, or rather I should tell him all together. What if he tries to stop me?
"Do you think I will actually have a chance to speak before we begin the meeting today?" I ask as it seems so many times before I am drowned completely out by the members of the council arguing. It feels as though I have no voice at all when I am in that room.
"Yeah, of course why wouldn't you." he said as he opened the door, "I am ready." He is dressed up in a suit instead of the normal uniform. His tie is undone of course but I just look at him for a moment and he looks back at me. The look he has says so much about what he is thinking and I feel my heart flutter at the idea that he knows something is up.
"Why are you dressed like that?" I ask as I step forward and began tying his neck tie.
"I could ask you the same." He says looking at me and smiling. He leans in and kisses me on the forehead.
"It was cleaned for me and I thought that perhaps it would help keep you from getting angry with me in the meeting." I say trying to soften him for what I was about to tell him. He looks at me but doesn't ask me anything. He instead holds out his arm for me to take and as I do we head out the door walking toward the elevator.
"I told you I will do what you needed me to even if it meant I lost you." His face only changes slightly at the idea of losing me. I guess he is getting used to it. We got to the elevator and head up to the deck. I take several breaths as I attempt to think of what to say to let him know what is going to happen. It is what I would have to do to get them to hear me.