The picture book

The next day I woke up, looking over my small collection of clothes. Nothing seemed good enough for the party. I have never been to one before and I was feeling nervous. What if all the people there were just jerks who made fun of me? Maybe this whole thing wasn’t a good idea. I shook my head to get the negative thoughts out. I wasn’t going to be like the old Ayita, who believed everything that those jerks said about her. I knew I was worth something now. I knew it was possible to make friends. Me and Laura made friends so easily. I thought it would take a whole lot more work to get her to like me. I really did miss her, but I knew we couldn’t be friends anymore. I didn’t want to turn into a substitute sister for her. I sighed a little bit trying to pick out the best outfit I had. I needed to impress these people. Hopefully someone would be there who would want to be friends with me and not all of them would be jerks like they were when I was in grade school. I looked myself in the mirror, and experimented with some makeup. Well I didn’t look all that bad really. Now I was really looking at myself, I seemed kind of...nice looking. Maybe my sister was right about that. I smiled a little bit to myself. I felt so different than I used to feel. I felt confident that I would make a friend at the party tonight. I could hardly wait for it, but still I had to go to school. I had to avoid Laura somehow. I guess I would have to eat alone at lunchtime.

The day seemed to drag on. I kept watching the clock and halfway listen to the teachers. I felt so excited about the party. I was rather curious to how it would be like. I just hoped there wouldn’t be drugs or beer at the party. Maybe they wouldn’t like me if I didn’t take any of that stuff? Now I knew how my sister felt. The whole pressure of what this party could be was really getting to me. Would I have the will power to give up on that stuff? I really wanted to be popular. Well maybe not be popular but at least have one friend. Possibly someone else there would have the same view of those things that I do. I looked up at the teacher, I really couldn’t keep thinking of this. My grades were already suffering, and I couldn’t let my quest to try to have friends make it any worse. I wrote down some notes, trying my best to pay attention to what she was saying. I made it through all my classes without thinking much more about the party, but still I was kind of distracted by it. I kept wondering if nobody else but my sister’s old friends would be there. If those were the only people coming, then I would have nobody to relate to. Well if the party didn’t work out, maybe I could meet some people at lunch. I could sit with a new crowd. Hopefully someone I sat with would be friendly.

Of course, lunchtime came and I looked across the crowded tables wondering who looked like someone good to sit with. I saw Laura sitting by herself, waving over at me but I ignored her. I felt really bad about it. It seemed she didn’t really have any friends besides me. I knew how it was like to be in that spot. That and her sister was dead. That must hurt a lot not to have anyone to talk to. I started to walk up close to her without thinking about it. Then turned and sat by some other group of people sitting nearby. I saw her,looking confused and she started to walk over to me and sat down beside me.

“What are you doing sitting with this group? They don’t seem like your kind of people to me.”

I looked at them, biting my lip. I felt rude not to answer Laura’s question. “Hello there everyone, my name is Ayita”

The people at the table grunt, not seeming very interested in me. One girl in brighter clothes then the rest smiles and goes to sit on the other side of me. “Hello Ayita, I never seen you here before. It’s nice to have someone...less goth joining in with our table.”

“Ayita, Ayita why aren’t you talking to me?” Laura waves her hand in front of my face.

I took a bite of my sandwich. “Oh the goth table huh? No wonder everyone here is wearing black. I am guessing your not goth. What’s your name?”

“My name is Erica...I don’t really belong with any of the groups in this school it seems. I feel so left out here. I keep on getting kicked around from table to table.”

“Ayita, are you mad at me? I heard you broke up with Greg, what’s going on?” Laura poked me in the ribs.

“I know, I really hate the cliques here at school. If you don’t belong with them, it is like you don’t have anyone to talk to.” I sipped my drink, trying to ignore Laura.

“Um, you know that girl is trying to talk to you right now.” Erica looks at Laura and gives her a little wave. “You look like a nice girl, what’s your name?”

“Laura, it seems Ayita is ignoring me for some reason. What’s wrong Ayita?”

Oh boy, I couldn’t keep ignoring her now it seems. “Well it seemed Greg knew your sister. He only liked me because I looked like her it seems.”

Laura widened her eyes, staring at me her skin turning white. “I never noticed until now you looked like her.”

Erica watched us, seeming curious. “Why is it freaking you out so much that she looks like your sister?”

“Well...my sister died in a fire when she was younger. It is almost like looking at how she could of turned out, if she had grown up.” Laura played with the straw in her milk, sighing sadly.

“Wow, that must be really hard to lose your sister like that. Do you know how the fire started? Um...maybe I shouldn’t be asking you questions like that. I’m sorry if I am being too nosy. I mean, I hardly know you after all.”

Laura sighed. “It’s only natural to be curious about it. We don’t know how it started, but there was a lighter found in the attic. We think she must of been playing with it or something.”

I had a feeling that the fire wasn’t an accident. I stared at Laura, she seemed so sad. I shouldn’t just give up on her. She didn’t think of me as trying to replace her sister. I could still be friends with her, and hopefully make some more friends too. I should really forgive Olivia. I don’t think she was trying to make me have her life. She just knew the people that she was trying to set me up with. I gulped a little bit, remembering today was garbage day. I hoped it wasn’t too late to save the picture book. Great, now I was going to think of that all day. Seems like I am distracted a lot lately.

As soon as the bell rang, I ran home before the party started. I looked in the trash, finding it gone. Oh great, now what? This can’t be.I have lost Olivia before I got a chance to help her out. I sat on my bed, laying my head on the pillow starting to cry.My mother came into my room, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“What is wrong dear?”

“Did you see a book in the garbage? It was really important to me.”

“I haven’t emptied your trash yet, anything that was in the garbage should still be there. Your crying about a lost book? That doesn’t seem like you dear. Are you alright?”

I blinked, if she hadn’t took out the trash then what had happened to the book? I started to paw in the garbage, thinking perhaps I had overlooked it.

“I am fine mom, I guess I have been kind of emotional lately.”

“Perhaps you should go see a counselor? I know my news about the baby can’t be easy on you.”

“I’ll be fine mom, I don’t need any counselor.” I gave my mom a hug. “I guess I will look around my room some more to see if I can find my book. Maybe it got out of the trash somehow.”

As soon as she left, I pretty much trashed my room trying to find the book. After a while my sister Denise came in and whistled at the mess.

“Are you ready to go to the party? I don’t know what you have been doing to your room. Having a party before the party?” I knew she was teasing. I shook my head.

“No I am looking for that book you gave me. I was going to give up on it, but I changed my mind.”

Denise’s jaw dropped, by the expression on her face it seemed she knew something. “You lost it? How could you have lost it after the big deal you made about it?”

“You know what happened to it don’t you? I bet you were snooping around in my room and saw it.” Did she see the ghost too?

“Uh..no I have no idea where it is.” I knew she was lying. I grabbed her and started shaking her.

“Where is it?”

“It’s...in my room. Now stop shaking me like that!” Denise gave me a little slap across my face.

“How could you steal it? You didn’t...look in it did you?”

“I...took a little peek. To see if you did anything to it. I see you didn’t add any pictures to it at all.” I tried to read her face, she didn’t seem to have any sign on her face that she had saw the ghost. Maybe she didn’t appear for her.

“So you didn’t see anything unusual about it?”

“Nope, just a dusty old picture book. Let me get it from my room” She went off and handed me the book, which I hugged in my arms.

“Guess I will have to clean my room when I get back home from the party. Ready to go?”

“Are you going to be wearing that?” Denise gave me a look over.

I shrugged. “It’s the best thing I got.”

Denise shook her head a little bit. “That’s no good, I will let you borrow something of mine.”

“Anything you have will be too big for me. This will just have to do. Anyways if these people are going to like me, it will have to be for me and these are the kind of clothes I like to wear.”

“You will never fit in with the popular crowd if your going to be like that. You have to wear the most fashionable clothes. You can’t just wear anything.”

I frowned. “Maybe I shouldn’t go to this party if I have to wear things I don’t like in order to fit in.”

“Don’t be like that sis, I am sure someone who doesn’t care about clothes will like you. You should really get out of the house sometimes and have fun! Please...”

“Well, alright...I guess it can’t hurt.”

And off we went to the party.