The Oath We Give (The Hollow Boys Book 5)

coraline

I’m not sure what’s worse, him forcing me to vocally admit how badly I want him or making me show him just how much my body needs him.

A shaky breath skates past my lips as my thumbs hook on the thin straps of my dress. The slip-like material slides from my shoulders, cascading down my body like water. In one fell swoop, the material sinks to the floor.

I step out of the pool of orange fabric circling my feet, leaving me only in a pair of heels and my lacy underwear. I’m utterly exposed to his eyes, no barriers between my flesh and his gaze.

This is the worst part, I think.

Letting him see me, what my body looks like, what Stephen left on it. I left the basement, but the basement still lingers on my skin. A jagged white scar that starts on one shoulder crosses my collarbone and stops at the other. Little marks across my knees and thighs, and although he can’t see them, I feel the shame from the paddle marks on my back. There are only a few, but they’re noticeable up close.

My body is not a smooth surface. It’s ridged and bumped with scars. It’s not sexy—it’s repulsive.

“Fuck.”

I meet Silas’s eyes, and my breath catches.

His eyes don’t inspect me, measuring every imperfection, marking every blip.

No, they admire me.

They hungrily eat up the sight of my bare skin, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. It’s enough to start a small fire in my stomach, a sliver of confidence returning to my body.

Carefully, I kneel, placing my hands on the floor in front of me. My heavy-lidded eyes pierce his as I start to crawl, hair cascading around my shoulders, letting myself feel unashamed of my desire.

When I reach the space between his thighs, I raise up on the backs of my thighs, placing my hands on his strong legs.

Silas leans forward, grabbing my chin between two fingers. “Pout those pretty fucking lips and say please.”

I bite my bottom lip softly. “Please, Silas.”

As if rewarding me for my begging, his fingers undo the button of his slacks, standing up to his full height and towering above me. I have to stretch my spine to place my face in front of his waist, sitting up on my knees. Everything about Silas makes me feel small in his presence.

I lay my hands flat against his thighs, watching as he pushes down his slacks and boxers until his hard cock slaps against his abdomen, making my mouth water and nerves pool in my gut.

It’s as thick as my wrist, and I don’t even want to quantify how many inches. Because I’m not exactly sure that many inches will fit into my much smaller body.

“Stick your tongue out for me, pretty thing,” he orders, staring down at me with quiet demand in his eyes. 

With my mouth already parted, I open a little wider, looking up at him as I stick my tongue out. Silas bends at the waist, grabbing my face in one hand roughly before pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead.

A paradox of actions. The calm before the storm.

“I want you to wet my cock with your mouth, get me nice and ready for your pussy, Hex. I can’t fuck your face the way I want to with my piercings in.” His breath is warm against my skin, thumb lightly caressing the curve of my jaw. “Wouldn’t wanna shatter those pretty teeth.” 

His grip on my face tightens before he spits onto my tongue, forcing me to shut my mouth around it, forcing me to swallow it down. Whiskey and heat. The familiar taste of him fills my throat, a moan rumbling from my lips.

I could drown in him. The intoxicating bourbon and smoke on his breath. My mouth stays open when he removes his hand, guiding the tip of his cock to my waiting lips.

My body stays perfectly still as he draws across my cupid’s bow, leaving them glistening with precome. Unable to help myself, I flick my tongue, tasting him, craving more as I suck the head into my mouth.

His head falls back, a tortured groan tearing from his chest as my wet tongue works. I bob my head gently, only taking a few careful inches of the metal barbells near the middle of his shaft.

I clench my inner thighs together, trying to create friction for my throbbing clit, needing his touch but needing his sounds of pleasure more.

My mouth worships him, eliciting heady moans from his throat. Fingers snake into my hair, gathering strands in his grip and holding me there. I lap at the underside of his shaft, trailing a flattened tongue down the sides, using my spit to cover every inch.

“That’a girl,” he growls just as I play with the piercings on the top, circling them before sucking his tip back into my mouth. Every second I’m on my knees makes me want him more.

I want to make him feel good. To make up for all the good he’s done for me. Every moment he’s caught me while I was crumbling, carefully guiding me back together. 

I want my body to be his comfort, like his voice is mine. 

The grip on my scalp tightens as he gives a few shallow pumps into my mouth, just enough to tease himself. I don’t stop moving my tongue until his cock drips with my saliva, glistening in the dim lighting. Wetness pools between my thighs when he pulls back, the need for him raging through me like a wildfire.

Destroying. Burning. Scorching everything that existed before him.

It takes over every fiber of my being. My entire chemical makeup is desperate to melt and separate until it can come back together to be everything he wants.

Silas makes me want to break apart and forget everything I was before him, only to piece myself back together into the perfect fit for him. Not this cursed, damned version of myself. 

I want to be someone who deserves him. 

His praise. 

The hand in my hair jerks me back with a snap, and a low whine leaves my mouth as my gaze is forced up.

“You gonna be a good girl for me, Hex? Let me use your holes until they are leaking my come?” he grunts, eyes intense and unyielding. “Be sure about your answer because I’m not just gonna fuck you. I’ll ruin you. Your body isn’t yours—it’s mine. It’s my temple to worship and mine to fucking destroy.”

My heart soars. His temple.

Being turned into but a hole for his pleasure is demeaning. It should offend me. It should piss me off being stripped of my humanity, but it’s everything I want from a man I trust.

Everything I crave from a man that I want.

To remove the thoughts, remove all the memories, and just feel.

I try to nod my head, but his grip won’t let me. 

“Words, baby. I need the words.” 

“Yes, Silas. I’ll be a good girl,” I mutter, licking my swollen lips. 

Hunger, pure, raw hunger, swirls in his dark eyes. 

Using the makeshift handle on my hair as leverage, he pulls me up from my knees, making me gasp before his mouth is there to drink it down. He devours me, arm snaking around my waist and lifting me off the ground.

My legs instinctively wrap around him, his toned stomach rubbing against my pussy making me moan into his mouth. Our tongues swirl and trace one another while he moves us toward the bed, holding me up with only one arm the entire way.

I bounce against the mattress as he lets me go, nervously scooting toward the headboard as he moves toward me like a predator ready to consume its favorite prey.

The two of us collide. We give in, letting our bodies have what they so desperately want. I give in to that craving for him, the one I tried to ignore for so long.

My hand grabs at the back of his neck when he crawls between my legs, pressing our lips back together, like I can’t stand for them to be apart. Two colliding stars that waited centuries to touch, refusing to be separated.

Silas moans into my mouth when I sink my teeth into his bottom lip, tugging on it playfully. My hands roam his shoulders, palms sliding to his chest, where I grab both sides of his dress shirt, ripping it apart. Buttons clatter against the wood floors, but I can’t be bothered.

“I liked that shirt,” he mutters against my lips, tilting my head back to dip his tongue across my jaw and pressing open-mouthed kisses along my skin.

“I liked my white T-shirt you ripped the other night.” I gasp as he bites at the column of my throat, ravenous teeth scratching my skin. “We’re even.”

I reach for his cock, needing him to relieve the ache between my thighs, but he swats my hand away. 

“You’re not ready for me yet. Gotta fuck you with my mouth first, baby. I have to get this tight pussy loosened up, or I’m not gonna fit.” He grunts, settling his upper body between my spread legs. 

My stomach tightens, coiling inside, thinking about him stretching me open. His fingertips slowly trace up my thighs, gathering the edge of my panties and pulling them down my legs to expose my bare pussy.

He looses a groan at the sight, pressing a hungry kiss to the inside of my thigh. “So fucking pretty, baby.” 

I use my nails to scratch his scalp, raking over the closely trimmed hair, making him hum as he pushes into my touch.

“Love when you do that.” 

I’m so horny that I can’t compute thoughts that aren’t directly linked to my pussy, but I try to make a mental note of that for later. I flush under his praise, my hips jerking upward as he blows a stream of air toward my soaked core.

Silas searches the inside of my thighs, running his palms up and down the skin, fingertips getting dangerously close to my center but stopping short of where I need him most and pulling back to my knees.

“Silas,” I beg, twitching beneath him, everything fucking aching. “Please.” 

“Ah, come on, Hex. You can do better than that.” His voice rubs against my skin, thumb skimming my clit. “Beg me.”

“Everything aches. Make it feel better, Silas, please.”

His response is to press his thumb harder, drawing small circles, making me spread my legs wider for him, letting him in. I moan deep in the back of my throat when I feel two fingers slide inside of me, stretching me open with no warning.

“Oh, fuck—”

“That’s not even half of me, baby,” he mutters with a sinister laugh, like he’s looking forward to feeling how tight the fit will be. I’m surprised how well my pussy parts for him, letting his fingers inside my tight opening.

Silas’s mouth replaces his thumb, hot tongue swirling that sensitive bundle of nerves, toying with it like he already knows exactly what I need to get me there. This man has a wicked mouth; every swipe and lap touches the right spot, making me arch off the bed. 

I press my hips to his face, meeting every thrust of his fingers as he pumps them in and out of me. My hands claw at his shoulder, needing something to ground me before I levitate from this damn mattress. 

When the tips of his fingers rub against that soft spot inside of me, I throw my head into the pillow. Overstimulating sensations cascade over me, that tightly wound band inside my stomach squeezing. My hips roll down onto the delicious circles he rubs around my clit, forcing his fingers deeper every time. 

The moans spilling from me feel involuntary, drawn from my throat like they were made just for Silas. Like they’d been waiting just for him. Only for his ears.

“You’re so close, baby. Go on, be good and come for me.” He buries his face between my thighs, the vibrations from his voice massaging my cunt. “God, I can’t wait to feel you strangle my cock like this.” 

The lewd noises his mouth and fingers make between my legs are driving me out of my mind. His tongue laps up every ounce of wetness from my pussy as he fucks me with his fingers with measured strokes. I’m right on the edge, and when his teeth skim my clit, just enough pain to pair with pleasure, I shatter. 

My muscles bunch, eyes snapping shut, before releasing as I come with a pitchy moan, nails buried into the flesh of his back. Self-satisfaction burns through me, knowing he’ll leave this bedroom marked by me. 

I snap my eyes down to him, watching him continue to plunge both fingers into my tight walls, hitting the same spot repeatedly, refusing to stop, refusing to let me fall from the high of my orgasm. 

“Come again. I know you want to. You can do it, little one,” he says between kisses against my pussy, dark eyes flitting up to gaze at me, half-lidded and smokey. 

I didn’t believe his words. Didn’t believe I could come consecutively like that, but when a third finger pushes into my already stuffed hole, I nearly go blind with white-hot rapture. That same formidable feeling unfurls in my stomach so much faster than I ever expected it to, and I have no time to warn him before my core is convulsing, thighs tightening around his head as my hips buck up into his mouth. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I cry because he still won’t stop, even though I’m quivering in his arms with my second climax. “Silas, stop, oh my God, please!”

He seems unbothered, simply pinning my hips to the bed with his arm. Shaking his head back and forth beneath my thighs, he delves that tongue up and down my tender cunt, leaving me no choice but to lie there and take it, twitching.

In the back of my mind, that safe word, red, floats around in my brain, but I can’t seem to bring myself to use it. Because I don’t think I really want him to stop. My body wants more, regardless of how overstimulated I am. With one more suck to my clit, he has mercy on my soul and releases me. A reflective wetness coats his jaw and mouth. My limbs feel like goo, melted and useless as I try to sink further into the bed.

Hazy, dark eyes drink up my body, splayed out just for him, completely unwound and at his mercy.

“Look at the mess you made.” He shakes his head, clicking his tongue before showing me how soaked his fingers are. He smirks, taking his bottom lip between his teeth, crooking a single finger at me. “Come clean me up with that witchy mouth.”

With what little core strength I have left, I push myself up from the mattress, my arms shaking with the aftershock of pleasure. I ignore my lethargic limbs, desperate to be good for him.

In this moment where I can’t think of anything, where I am only an exposed nerve, feeling everything, I want to be everything he needs. What he craves.

I use the top of his shoulders to keep me upright, my soaking wet center meeting the base of his shaft as I wiggle closer. The heat of our bodies pressed together makes a tremor pass through me.

My mouth meets his, the taste of my come tart, an addictive flavor that I drink down. Rolling my tongue, flicking the roof of his mouth, I suck it clean before pulling away to move to his jaw.

I clean up the mess I left on his face, tongue swirling against his skin, picking up the remnants of my orgasm. His hands squeeze my hips, rocking his lower half into mine, letting me feel his hard cock pressed against my soft folds.

The rough moans in my ear spur me to lift my hips to meet his slow grinding, tightening my grip on his back. His back muscles are firm and taut to the touch, like steel cables wound under his flesh. Every inch of him is smooth and sleek, each muscle perfectly defined.

When the grinding becomes too much, I press a kiss just below his ear. “I need you, please.”

There is only a small pause before he gathers me in his arms, laying me back on the bed. His large body looms over mine, and for a moment, I can feel his heart beating my chest.

It’s intense, the most intimate moment anyone can ever experience, to feel another’s heart against your own. 

This is just sex. This is just sex. This is—

Silas’s hands run up my stomach, cupping my heavy breasts in his palms. Flicking his fingers across the metal piercing my erect nipples, he toys with the black hearts on either side of my nipple, a spur-of-the-moment decision while I was rolling on Ecstasy at Vervain that I’m glad for in this moment.

“These are fucking delicious,” he mutters before attacking them with his warm mouth. “I’m going to shove my dick between these soft tits and fuck them until I come all over your pretty face. But not tonight.” 

I arch into his touch, my head feeling light and body begging to be played by his fingers. He takes his time assaulting my chest, peppering kisses across my chest before he leans back on his knees, shucking off his shirt and tossing it on the floor.

His toned stomach flexes as he wraps a large hand around the base of his cock. Several inches are left exposed from the fist he makes, leaving my mouth watering as he pumps himself a few times before guiding the tip to my wet core.

“Tonight, I’m gonna come right here, right in this tight cunt. Pump you full and leave you leaking.” 

“I’m on the shot,” I moan, furrowing my eyebrows as I peer down at him, watching as he drags his dick up and down the lips of my pussy. “I’m clean. Are—”

“You think I would come this close to fucking you raw if I wasn’t clean?” His eyes soften as he tilts his head. “You’re safe with me.” 

Everything was so intense earlier, overruled with desire, and now it’s not. Lust still fizzles in me, but now it doesn’t just feel like sex, because my chest is tightening.

Emotions roll through me, overflowing. 

When the tip of his cock starts spreading my opening, I panic. I feel like I’m too far deep with him. I can want him physically. But I cannot have him emotionally.

I can’t do this to him.

I press my hand to his lower stomach, halting his motion, peering up at him through damp lashes. “I’m going to break your heart.”

He stills, jaw twitching. “You’re going to let me into yours.”

Too late, I think just before his words and body rob me of air. His hips press forward, pushing through my snug inner walls, slowly spreading me open, forcing my pussy to accommodate his length.

“Holy shit.” I groan, wiggling my hips. “Fuck, I’m so full.” 

“You’re not full until I’m all the way inside of you.” 

I don’t even want to look at how much further he has to go before he’s fully inside of me. My body melts into the mattress, unsure if I have room for him to fit.

Silas’s hard body pushes into mine deeper, the cool metal of his Jacob’s ladder touching my wet center. 

“Relax for me, Hex.” One of his palms moves from my hips, pressing on my lower stomach lightly. “Relax and let me in. Let me make you feel good, baby.” 

My thighs spread impossibly wider, eyes shooting open when he delves into me another couple of inches, those barbell piercings rubbing along the base of my pussy.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” I murmur incoherently. “I don’t think—God, I don’t think I can fit any more.”

My teeth bite down on the inside of my cheek, trying to breathe as he spears me on his cock. I feel like he really is splitting me in half, intent on ripping me right in two.

“That’s it. That’s my girl. Suck my cock inside that tight pussy,” he groans when he bottoms out, staring down at where our bodies connect, watching the slaughtering of my pussy. “Look at you, Hex. Taking all of me like a good fucking girl.”

He gives me a few strokes, letting me get used to being this full. Letting me feel every inch before he starts to speed up his thrusts. My body starts to meet his, the unbelievable stretch making my toes curl.

I’m already embarrassingly close, and it doesn’t help when he starts to really fuck me, just like he promised. Silas Hawthorne begins to ruin me. Inside and out.

Brutal, heavy pumps of his hips send me into orbit. The depth of his cock makes me try to back off his shaft, but he won’t let me. No, he grabs my hips and yanks me right back in place so he can fuck me the way he wants.

“Fuck, Silas. It’s too much. Fuck, you’re in my stomach.” I nearly scream, clawing at the bedsheets beneath me for support, my pussy stretched to the max. Every vein in his cock rubs against my sensitive walls, hitting something deep inside of me that’s never been touched before. 

Silas leans downward toward my face and keeps me right there with a savage hold on my throat. Long fingers splay across the front of my neck, squeezing the sides, feeling my pulse beneath his fingertips. 

He pumps into me with thrusts that make me see stars, merciless with my body as he shoves into me all the way, letting me feel him buried to the hilt before pulling nearly all the way out, only to slam through once again. 

Over and over and over. 

The headboard of the bed slams into the wall with his pace, his bed shaking beneath us from the force he’s using on my body. 

“You’re so fucking wet. So fucking tight. God, nothing has felt as good as you, baby. You’re taking me so fucking good.” He drops his head to my breasts, tugging a nipple into his mouth. Ecstasy fills my being as he rears back, then snaps his hips forward, faster and faster, until his hold on my throat is used to keep me still for him to pump into. 

“So good—” I gasp, back bowing off the bed. “I’m gonna come again, fuck, Silas!” 

The pleasure is too much. I’m too full. So overflowing with pleasure that tears stream from the corner of my eyes. 

Silas gives me a groan of approval against my skin. “Cry for me, baby. Cry because it’s so fucking good and you know no one’s cock uses this pretty little cunt like me. Cry for me.” 

He sits back up on his knees, snatching my ankles in his hands, spreading me wide and forcing my body to meet him stroke for stroke. He pounds into my walls like they were made for him, molding my pussy to fit his dick seamlessly, refusing to pull out until I’m the perfect hole for him to use up. 

“I’m—God—” I mumble incoherently, a jumble of words and phrases I’ve never heard from my lips before.

“Shhh, don’t talk. Just take it.” 

I peer up at him to the best of my ability, eyes half-lidded and drooping, watching the clench of his abdominal muscles with every thrust, his body in a sheen of sweat and brows furrowed with concentration, dark eyes boring down at me with a predatory gaze. 

“Come for me, Hex. Soak this cock, squeeze me.” 

As if my body was simply waiting for his command, I feel my muscles contract, back bowing from the bed and a scream of ecstasy ripping from my throat. Bright lights flash behind my eyelids as I shake with breathy moans, swept under a rushing current of bliss that tastes like the sweetest ambrosia. 

This is what the gods felt like, I’m sure of it. 

Completely and utterly euphoric, like nothing could touch them. 

I’m crashing through the waves, barely registering his husky voice above me, only feeling his thrusts stutter, shallow and quick. 

“Tell me where I’m gonna come tonight,” he orders, leering above me, chasing his own release. “Say it, pretty thing.” 

“My pussy,” I mutter, sinking into the mattress beneath me, content to let the plush material absorb my thoroughly fucked body. My inner walls contract, squeezing around his shaft, feeling those barbells rub against the skin inside me. 

Jesus fucking Christ. Like he needed the piercings with a dick this fucking big. 

“That’s right, baby. It’s all mine, all fucking mine,” he grunts with brutal, short thrusts, his hips slapping against my sticky skin as he loses pace. “Fuck, gonna fill you up. Gonna fill this cunt. Fuck, fuck—”

When he comes, pumping stream after stream of warm come into my pussy, it’s a beautifully raw moment. There is so much emotion on his normally passive face.

Brows furrowed together, teeth digging into his bottom lip, head tilted back in pleasure as he continues to lazily pump into me, fucking his come deep inside of me.

I’d had sex before. Before everything. 

Lost my virginity my sophomore year of high school to Ian, but that wasn’t this. 

I’d been able to fully remove my mind from the equation. Forced my head to empty, and all I could do was feel. My body hummed, twisted, and pushed toward him, hips meeting him thrust for thrust. I was lost in a cyclone of pleasure, slowly drowning in a pool of ecstasy. 

There was no fear. No memories. 

Absolute, all-encompassing bliss envelops my mind and body. Silas is better than any Ecstasy I’d ever taken. There’s no drug that could equal this. Nothing bad can touch me here. With him.

When there are only our heavy breaths echoing in the darkness of this bedroom, my stomach begins to quiver. My eyes burn with tears, and I know I’m going to break a cardinal rule of hookups: do not cry after sex.

But I can’t help it, not when I know I’m falling for him.

Not in a brutal, brazen form that feels like fists cracking through my bones and teeth piercing my flesh, not the way love has felt in the past. Not in the way my mind convinced my love was before him.

“Coraline,” Silas says, peering down at me with worry in his dark eyes. “Hey, talk to me. You still here with me?”

In this sickly sweet, soft way that makes me fucking cry.

Why now? Why him?

So many times, I have begged to be this beautiful, wanted woman who is gracious and kind. Nights I fell to my knees and prayed to any god who might listen to be the person worthy of real love.

I was instead told I was cast aside, fated to be only bitter nights and tainted mornings. My entire life was to be spent cursed as one damning thing, unlovable.

But Silas takes his time with my name, like it’s his favorite word he wants to keep in his mouth for as long as possible. He does not rush it like a bad omen. He instead speaks it like a prophecy that was destined for his mouth.

Silas does not make me feel cursed.

He makes me feel loved.

“Why won’t you let me save you from me?”