The North

Once again, thank you so much to all my readers, old and new, quiet and avid commenters. Your support means the world to me.

This story was a step in a bit of a new direction, with a lot of research into mythology, finding ways to weave that in (even in ways you might not catch until you read it again *winks*), keeping the air of mystery, balancing the horror with the romance. I'm glad I finally decided to share it.

I hope you've all fallen in love with this cast of characters as much as I have.

Chapter 26

I barely felt the warmth of the small wooden bowl cupped in my freezing hands. Steam carried the heady scent of vegetable broth to my nose, a food I would usually scarf down, but couldn’t find any desire for it at that moment. My stomach was too twisted to keep anything down, even though hunger might have been half the reason it ached as I fought back a yawn.

The soft bristles of my favourite pelt stroked my cheek as I glanced towards the fire, and I was deaf to the commotion around me as I sought what little comfort I could.

Beta Caldar didn’t look interested in Hati’s rage either. He sat twirling his dirk idly on the table while our Alpha went between berating he and Farrin for letting me join the scouts – as if they had a real choice – and the fact he ‘allowed' Skoll to take him in the first place.

As if he’d had any choice in that either, I mused.

I was more concerned with the retaliation that was sure to come. Hati had been trying to play on Skoll’s offer of peace, and I’d set it alight. I couldn’t hold my tongue or curb my temper long enough to play the game. Gerlac and Ingrid would be disappointed with me; if everyone wasn’t already disappointed with me already. Hati had barely looked at me since we began the long run home and by the time we reached the border, the following night had crept in. A thick frost that clung to my fur, melted, and then frozen again before I could seek out heat by the fire.

Word had been given to the council of our return, but they were given no explanation; something that was promised at the meeting set for the evening after Hati and I had a chance to rest. Or at least, I would. Between Hati’s rants and promises of discipline, he seemed determined to solve our every issue before he so much as thought about touching his own food or sleeping.

“I didn’t even have time to properly check for a scent,” he muttered, pacing along the edge of the table while scolding his own actions. “We need to find out who Skoll has corrupted in the pack. They’re getting messages to each other somehow; I want to know who’s been seen leaving the castle alone. Gather those who’ve been on nightwatch. I want to speak with them now.”

“You need to go see Eirny,” I murmured, not for the first time, as Hati’s hand yet again pressed against his abdomen.

His grimace turned into a snarl at my words but I barely blinked at his reaction. Caldar did though, stabbing his dirk into the table with a growl.

“Eabha is right, questioning wolves can wait. Don’t let Skoll get to you in this way. She doesn’t deserve your anger. Direct it where it needs to go, or better yet, deal with it and move on. It wasn’t your fault you were overpowered, it isn’t your fault we haven’t found the spies amongst us yet, nor that Eabha was in danger. Be proud of how she handled herself and be grateful your brother is such an arrogant fool that he let enough slip. We might be able to play him as he has us if we can find the spy without them knowing they’ve ben discovered. He offered us months to prepare, that’s months of false information we can give him.”

It was a sound idea. Who knew what the spy might do if they realised they were cornered? It would be better to use them to our own advantage if we could, but finding them at all proved an almost impossible task.

“We only have months if Skoll didn’t take the offer off the table the minute I denied him before we both fled,” I pointed out, shoving my bowl back onto the table so I could hunch in on myself in shame.

Farrin sighed, finally feeling brave enough to take a seat beside Caldar now he was no longer the sole focus of Hati’s anger.

“Between the two of you, you’d find a way to blame yourselves for the mistakes of every male and female in every realm,” he said. He chanced a glance at his Alpha but kept his gaze low. “He wouldn’t offer time to consider your path if he didn’t need time himself. His plight with the Blood Drinkers is maybe as serious as he claims, another thing we should look into."

Hati hummed, stroking the dark blond scruff covering his jaw. “We’ve all noticed the way they’ve changed. They went from mindless killers to being able to hold conversation. The next time we catch one, we need to bring it back to Eirny. She might find something in its blood to tell us more. If he truly has lost control, if this magic he used on the souls he brought back truly has evolved and is infecting humans they kill, the gods might as well damn us all already.”

That notion fell upon us like a grim blanket. How did one fight such a thing? Hopefully Eirny would know. It would be easier to find a way to stop the spread than to kill every Blood Drinker that popped up. Maybe the humans could even be saved? They weren’t damned souls from Náströnd after all, were they? Just. . .infected.

Gods, my head hurt trying to figure it all out.

“For now,” Farrin said, breaking the deathly silence. “It might be best we told the wider pack what we could be up against. There’s already rumours that your name is more than just homage to the old stories, all we’d need to do is confirm them. Individuals can choose themselves whether they wish to join the fight or not, and as most have a bone to pick with Blood Drinkers, and therefore Skoll by extension, it might bolster the number of our warriors. Skinshifters, when properly trained, are as capable as the Vargr at taking them down.”

Bracing himself against the table, Hati shook his head, loose hair falling to shield his face. “They may blame me as much as they blame Skoll. He used my blood. He had my permission, whatever my hesitations.” His shoulders rose and fell as he sighed. “I also don’t want lines drawn within the pack between Vargr and Skinshifter. And I don’t want there to be panic. When we began to build the pack, I vowed to keep the skinshifters out of my mess-“

“Then you’re drawing the lines yourself,” I stated before I could think. Golden eyes finally shifted to me. I felt my skin sear the moment they did. Though I tried to resist in fear I’d see disapproval or disappointment in me, I raised my head to find his lips pulled up in a wry smile.

I shifted on the bench with a blush, adding, “Besides, the pups can tell there’s something different about the Vargr, and while the adults may not sense their magic, anyone with a working eye in their head can see the Vargr, both male and female, are bigger and stronger than any of us. . .or them, I guess. It’s clear my heritage is as questionable as the Blood Drinkers right now.”

Caldar chuckled and went back to making holes in the table. “She’s right again. Most of the pack know something is going on, especially since the Cailleach nam Marbh arrived.”

I rolled my eyes at his jibe.

If only ‘witch of the dead' was all I could claim to be.

The extent of my powers were still a shocking revelation. The possibility I could bring back the dead was something I refused to dwell on, but thankfully I had another newfound talent to take up my thoughts. Hours had passed, and I was still confounded by exactly how I’d gotten Hati and I out of Skoll’s den and only a few miles from the border of our home.

It troubled Hati, whatever the answer might be, or whatever hunch he had about the answer. I worried that might have more to do with his continued distance between us. That, or what Skoll hinted would be my fate if the Gods did defeat him. . .

Would they really kill me? Why? Surely, though I might have held magic, it couldn’t possibly be anything for them to fear. They were Gods. And I was no Fenrir. No Loki. Nor even comparable to Hati or Skoll, or even Eirny.

“There’s no way this plays out in which we can stay out of it all is there?” I asked. “He said a war is coming. A war. Can we even stop it before it comes to that? If we don’t, do we have enough of the pack who can fight to even make a stand?”

“If the war is with the likes of Asgard, I say we should stay out of it.” Real anger burned in Caldar’s eyes, something in his words drawing looks of understanding from Farrin and Hati as he muttered, “Gods bring nothing good. Let them fight amongst themselves and then let whoever wins take what’s leftover. If Skoll wins, I doubt he will care what happens in Midgard.”

Something about this had struck a nerve with the Beta, and while I was desperate to know what it was, I knew better. Caldar was a grumpy and volatile male at the best of times, prying into his past was better left for when he was in a better mood. Or I could try and extract it from Astrid. She seemed to know everything that went on with everyone.

“I care what happens in Midgard,” Hati answered gently. “Anything that happens in other realms will surely spill out here too. Even if Skoll was content taking land from the Gods, it would be unwise to think it won’t effect the mortal world in any way.”

He ran a hand through his hair, grumbling as his finger got caught in knots and tangles. “I want two patrols on the border from now on, and I want only those who’ve proven themselves beyond loyalty to run it. The rest of the pack need to keep their hunts strictly to the North of the castle from now on; unless given permission otherwise. The pups can no longer get away with breaking these rules, it’s not safe.”

Farrin bowed his head. “I’ll go and prepare another patrol now. We keep them running day and night?”

“Day and night,” Hati agreed.

Did we have enough wolves that we trusted to keep up such a pace without exhausting those who’d be able to defend us? I hoped so.

Green eyes met mine, and Farrin offered a small smile of support before slipping out the door to carry out his Alpha’s orders. I hoped that meant he’d forgiven me for leaving him behind. He’d looked ready to strangle me himself when Hati and I appeared at the gates.

“What about Magne and the others at the port?” I asked, rubbing my hand over my abdomen where a coil of anxiety and dread had made themselves at home. “Brokkr might still be on the road on his way back by now too, they could be in danger.”

“We have ways to keep in touch so Magne will be aware of the potential dangers. If trouble does come, then I’ll have everyone return, but I don’t want to leave the port undefended. It may be small, but it’s important for supplying villages for miles around, including us. Including your own homeland whom they trade with. Skoll makes quick threats but he isn’t as fast at seeing them through. He promised us the pack wouldn’t be standing when he returned after all, and we’ve found it just as we left it. He’s also aware Magne is there if he wasn’t before. He trained us from puphood, I don’t believe he’ll be quick to turn on him; not in the least because he knows how many warriors it would take to defeat such a wolf.”

Caldar hummed. “Yet a few wolves at a port village are easier to defeat than the biggest pack the world has ever seen, my Alpha. If he decided he did want to send a message. . .well, better to lose a few wolves to Magne and the others than risk losing most of his army to us.”

Hati frowned at that, slumping into the chair beside me. His hands clasped together on the table, so tight his knuckles whitened, and all I wanted to do was tell him he’d worried enough for one night. One morning, I mused, as blue light crept through the cracks in the shuttered windows. He needed to sleep, eat, and see Eirny about his injuries.

Caldar met my gaze across the table, and I didn’t need to say a word. He rose to his feet and bared his neck, though Hati didn’t lift his head to see the act.

“We have done all we can for now. I can look after things until you’ve both had a chance to rest, but I will report as soon as I hear anything.” I was surprised when Caldar looked to me again, more surprised when he bared his neck once more. “You brought him back as you promised. I bid you a goodnight, Alpha. Alpha Female.”

I blinked, caught been choking out that it was actually morning, and protesting that I was definitely not Alpha Female. The Beta didn’t care to watch me splutter though, and left me to stare after the door closing at his back.

Hati chuckled and leaned back in his chair, a glimmer of amusement in his expression as he peered over at me.

“You should be proud of yourself, Eabha. It takes a lot to earn Caldar’s respect, more to earn his submission. He and I came to blows many times before he would so much as lower his gaze instead of outright challenging me.”

More subtle hints that made me more curious as to exactly how Caldar had ended up here.

“Why does he care so little for your Gods? I know he probably shares the same beliefs as my mother but-“

“Oh no.” He shook his head, staring off into the distance. “It has been many a year since Caldar has placed faith in any God. At one point, he prayed to the likes of Lugh and Sgàthach, Danu and Brigid. They took as much as they ever gave him.”

“What does that mean? Did something happen? Does that mean the Gods of Tìr Na Nog are real too?”

Sitting up, he swivelled in his chair to face me, a sad look in soft amber eyes. “All the Gods are real, Little Alpha. Belief is what makes them real.” He paused, reaching out to take my hand in his. “You would do well not to press my Beta on the matter. He is going to be angry enough when he hears what I have decided. . .”

That didn’t bode well.

“What have you decided?”

At first, he didn’t answer. He stroked his fingers across my palm and up my wrist, his thumb brushing over my pulse point before he stood and strode across the room.

“You might not like the idea more than he will,” he admitted, eyeing the array of weaponry that hung on the far wall. Each one something he had used in his past. Some of the spear shafts were splintered and broken, blades of swords and daggers chipped and scratched to dull their shine.

“Skoll does appear to know much more about you than I do. The magic you used in his rooms, that was more than your soul slipping through veils between life and death like you did when you visited Narfi. Or when you first spoke with Skoll. What you did to rescue us, you were traversing realms as if it were no more than opening a door to go from one room to the next. There’s more to your than your ability to hear and visit the dead than fixing the realms of Helheim. Unfortunately, there’s only one whom I can think might offer us an answer.” He ground his teeth together before adding quietly. “I wanted to keep you out of this as you wished, I didn’t want to get you involved anymore than you already are, but I fear we no longer have a choice.”

I didn’t understand what he meant. Reams, doors, veils, this was a whole other language to me. What had I walked through at the tree, had that been a veil? A doorway to another realm? The fact I could do such a thing meant nothing to me, not like it seemed to for Hati.

Deep down, I think I knew who he spoke of, and he was right, I wanted nothing to do with them, but still I found myself asking.

“Who?”

He grinned, but it was strained, closer to a grimace really. “The very one who told me about you. Perhaps she’s the very one who created you. The wife of the King of Gods, a woman who knows more than any other about magic, Freyja herself.”

I barked a laugh. Then clamped my hand over my mouth as Hati’s eyebrow flew up at the unexpected reaction.

The Gods were still but a concept to me, and the idea of meeting one, of meeting a being older than living memory and more powerful than I could conceive of, was. . .laughable, apparently. Laughable, and not at all appealing. After all they’d done, I feared I had neither the patience nor the will to be civil. Especially with Skoll’s warning ringing in my head.

How did one go about requesting an audience with a god anyway?

“I imagine they would ask something of us before telling us anything, and I need you to understand what you’d be doing if you refused,” he continued, making his was slowly back towards me to kneel by my chair. His gaze was serious as he gripped my thigh. “You might need to pledge loyalty to them. Skoll is right, if you’re as powerful as he thinks, they won’t let you live freely without assurances.”

“If this goes the way I fear it will, Skoll or someone else will end me, and they won’t have to worry where my allegiance lies,” I muttered. “He might have asked for me to join him this time, but he won’t next time. They all seem to need me for something. If I refuse him. . .if I refuse them. . .I won’t be coerced by threats to my life, and nobody who had a hand in what happened to my uncle and brother will get anything from me.”

Lifting a hand, he stroked my cheek before offering quietly, “I had a hand in it, and you have offered me more than I deserve, but I will stand by you if that’s your choice. However, there might be other things we can offer to have everything explained. We have our own leverage if it comes to it.”

The glint in his eyes softened my hackles.

“Me?”

“You.”

I laughed but the sound came out too close to a whimper to be real.

His gaze implored me to agree to a truce with the Gods, to make this easy.

I’d seen what holding onto anger and grudges could do, what seeking revenge could do, I wouldn’t become what they’d become. But how much I was I really willing to offer in ways of submission? Without choices they’d made, none of this would have happened in the first place. But maybe without them, I would never have been born either. How many times had I been told that I was an unexpected pup? Was there more to that than it seemed?

The idea that I might owe my very existence to them did not sit well.

“I’ll agree to meet whoever we need to, and I might even be persuaded to pledge to them,” I said slowly, sliding my arms around his shoulders. “If I go as your mate so it’s clear who I stand by.”

Hati blinked, his hand falling from my thigh, mouth falling open as his eyes searched mine. There was an array of emotions flickering like flames in his gaze, and I watched each one play out. Once the shock wore off, it was replaced with that familiar irritation that came when I found some loophole or outright disobeyed him. That quickly became joy, maybe even pride; as this show of insubordination was aimed at someone else for once.

Standing slowly, he urged me up off my chair too, his thumb catching my chin to make sure I listened. A measure of wariness coated his tone as he asked slowly, “You want to be my mate, now? I thought you wanted to take things slowly?”

“I did too,” I admitted. “But when Vali appeared and I realised Skoll did indeed have you, when I heard you’d been harmed . . . I could have attacked him. I think I could have killed him. The thought of you hurt, it hurt me. And when I saw you again. . .” My breath caught in my throat as the same emotions welled all over again. Gods, the things I would have done to get him back. It scared me to think about it. “Have you changed your mind about me because of what Skoll said? You are in love with me aren’t you? Don’t you want to be my mate?”

His snort of bemusement became full blown laughter, which only grew when I folded my arms and glared. Shaking his head, he cupped my face in hands and tried to compose himself. “You are unlike any other female I know. So blunt. Unafraid and fearful. Stubborn beyond belief. Terrifying. . . Of course I’m in love with you, Little Alpha.”

Ingrid says he’s in love with you.

How had she known?

“Are you not in love with me too?” he petitioned, almost as if he was afraid of what the answer might be.

The question should have been easy to answer. I’d known the answer the moment I found him in Skoll’s keep. Maybe even the moment it was clear he’d gone missing. But for some reason, when I opened my mouth, it felt as if a vicelike hand wrapped around my throat to trap all sound. Hati’s smile fell, and the laughter left his eyes at my hesitation, but he wasn’t angry. His hand curled around my neck, his thumb sweeping over my jaw.

“You’re afraid. That’s alright, you’re allowed to be.” Pressing a kiss to my forehead, he offered a purring rumble that got the hand around my throat to release so I could take a breath.

“I love you,” I murmured against his chest, nuzzling as close as I could while avoiding his injuries. “I worry that’s going to make it harder for us to do what we might have to. I’m worried what would happen to me if I lost you because I swear another loss will break me.” I bit my lip to stop the rest of my admission, but adoring eyes watched me so intently, I found I wanted to tell all. My darkest fears. Things I kept to myself.

“There’s something wrong with me,” I whispered. “If I hadn’t been thinking of getting us both home when you and Skoll were fighting, something was going to happen. Something bad. Everyday, I feel it getting a little bit stronger. This destruction inside me. Like and uncontrollable rage. What Skoll wants me for, it can’t be for anything good. It makes me worry about what exactly I’m capable of. What I could be used for. I would do anything for you-“

“And I would do anything for you,” Hati interrupted, frowning down at me without realising that was exactly what I feared.

I believed him capable of stopping Skoll, even killing him if he hurt the pack, however broken it would leave him. But what if one day the pack needed protected from me? What if it came to a choice between my life and the pack’s for whatever reason?

I shook my head free of where those thoughts were leading me, and inhaled deeply so Hati’s scent filled my senses. As always, it chased away unease. His arms came up around me as my fingers curled into his tunic. I worried too much. Ever since the Blood Drinkers appeared, my mind always conjured up the worst of every situation, to prepare myself. I could barely remember the carefree me of my youth.

“We have an army too, Eabha, and allies I can call upon, powerful beings who owe me favours. I may have hoped Skoll had decided to stay in his own corner of the world for the rest of eternity, but I didn’t stop preparing. Trust me. Trust us. We can handle this. I was a pup with magic I didn’t understand once too-“

“Are you calling me a pup?” I muttered, peering up at him with narrowed eyes.

He tapped my nose. “I am comparing you to a pup. You might as well be when it comes to this. Between Eirny and I, we can help you learn control, and if Freyja tells us what we need to know, then you’ll better know how to use it. We won’t let you implode on us, I swear it. Now.” The smile was real this time, bright and breathtaking. “Is there a ceremony for mates to go through in your pack?”

The eagerness in his voice made me smile, and I happily let him bring my thoughts back to happier topics. We’d had enough doom and gloom for a lifetime.

“No, not really. Another mated pair must acknowledge us as mates. I think my father would appreciate if it were he and Mother that did so.” A thrill of exhilaration went through me at the thought. “What about for you?”

Hati hummed and began to back towards the bed with a sly smile. Once the wood hit the back of his legs, he sat and leaned back, tugging so I fell across his chest. “There may be a ceremony, more for the benefit of the pack than for any tradition. Humans have great feasts of food and music to celebrate the binding of man and wife.”

“Ingrid might enjoy arranging such a thing. But is it wise to have a celebration when so much hangs in the balance though?”

“In times like these, it is important to remember to celebrate. To remind us all what we fight for. Is there not a festival of your people coming up? There is one for us. We could host it then so our food stores are not being pillaged too greatly.”

I smiled, happy he knew as much. “We missed the end of the year, Samhain, it will be the Winter Solstice next.”

“The winter solstice it is then.” He grinned then kissed me, warm hands gripping my hips to keep me in place.

His fingers left a trail of heat in their wake as he tugged the red deer pelt from my shoulders, a slow smile curling at his lips as my cheeks flushed. I couldn’t hold his gaze as he tossed it to the end of the bed, and it was hard to sit still and let his hands wander with as much vigour as his eyes did. A gasp slipped from my lips as his fingers curled so his nails raked up my side, the sting bringing an unfamiliar swell of pleasure that caused my flesh to pebble.

My Alpha chuckled huskily beneath me, taking in my every reaction with eyes of molten lava. The vibration went straight to my core and my hips rocked against the hardness beneath me of their own accord. The air became heady with the spice of arousal, and Hati breathed it in like it was the best thing he’d ever smelled, exhaling on a deep rumble that made my eyes roll back.

My fingers tugged desperately at his tunic but I struggled to get it further than his navel while he lay down. I growled in frustration, and was about to settle for tearing it off of him when there was a sudden knock at the door.

Hati froze with a hand cupping my breast, and I couldn’t help but giggle as he threw a furious growl towards our would-be intruder.

“What is it?” he yelled, sitting up and drawing the pelt back over my shoulders with a look that promised this wasn’t over quite yet.

Unfortunately, I didn’t quite manage to slide from his lap before Caldar entered. The Beta went wide-eyed as his nostrils flared to take in the scent of the room, and I swore a blush even hit his cheeks. Nomads like myself eventually got used to the fact you sometimes stumbled upon mating couples in the wild; I’d always found it embarrassing, but Caldar looked mortified. Or maybe it was whatever news he’d brought that made him stand so tense.

“What is it?” Hati repeated, gentler this time now it was clear whatever it was, was serious enough that his Beta didn’t immediately leave when he realised what we’d been doing. “What’s happened?”

Dark eyes flicked from where I lingered on the bed clutching my furs, to his Alpha, and his head bowed low as he shoved the door open wider. “I think you should come see for yourselves. We’ve had to keep everyone clear of the stableyard and the area behind it. . . you’ll see.”

Hati glanced at me before tugging his clothes back into place and standing. Though I knew he didn’t expect me to follow as well, I did anyway. Maybe it was morbid curiosity, for I certainly knew Caldar wasn’t taking us to see the horses, but I needed to know what had gone wrong.

The halls had been cleared on this side of the castle, not a soul to be seen even though breakfast would be well under way and chores would soon be seen to. Our steps echoed down the corridor, and I slid my hand into Hati’s, feeling my confidence bloom as he squeezed tight.

He was just as nervous as I was.

We paused at the door that led to the stables, but I could already hear choked weeping and stern voices. Suddenly I wanted to change my mind. To drag Hati back to bed and force whatever this was to wait until we’d had time to heal. But time seemed to be a commodity that was hard to come by these days.

“Brokkr and Bruadar must have come back not long after you did.” Gripping the handle, Caldar hesitated. “Don’t blame yourselves.”

“Open the door, Beta,” Hati grit out. His fingers slid from my grip, leaving me feeling cold as I watched the mask of an Alpha slide into place. “Eabha, go back to bed. You don’t need to see this.”

“See what?” I whispered, confused about how he already seemed to know what awaited us on the other side. I took a deep breath through my nose, and was assaulted by musky horse, straw, smoke from the nearby torch, and. . .blood. Worse than that. Old blood. A lot of it.

Caldar and Hati shared a look, but neither tried to press me to return to bed again when I refused to move.

The door creaked open, and at first everything appeared as it should. The cobbles were covered with hay, mud and snow; soft snickers came from the horses still tucked safely inside their stalls; buckets and brushes were left lying around. A few wolves prowled the perimeter in fur, their ears flicking to every sound, eyes wide and alert, as if they expected an attack at any second.

We followed Caldar across the enclosed yard, and the copper tang of blood grew heavier with every step until I could taste it on my tongue. Hati’s arm came up in front of me once we left through the gate, and we came face to face with the smell. At first it all looked too surreal. Brokkr stood stiff and still, watching a female sob over what at first looked like a cloth covered log. The female muttered unintelligible words, and every time she sat up to look helplessly at Brokkr, more red covered her skin. Her hair. Her clothes. The snow. Even the wall.

Because it wasn’t a log. The rotting smell was a body. And the more I looked at it, the more it looked like Bruadar.

“This was crumpled up in his hand.” One of females who’d run with Farrin and I last night approached to hand us a small piece of yellow parchment, stained with a bloody fingerprint.

Hati's expression was unreadable, although rage flowed from him in powerful palpitations that made the hair on my arms stand on end. His eyes flicked over the missive a few times, and I tried not to react when he passed it to me. I recognised a few runes, and might have been able to read it if my hands weren’t trembling so much.

Caldar stepped to my side and leaned in to whisper what it said.

“The last until Spring, bróðir.”

End of Book One