The North

If you have title ideas for book 2, I'd love to hear them...

I avoided the knowing glances cast my way by wolves who’d now heard, or seen themselves, that I was courting the Alpha. Embarrassment didn’t stop the grin splitting my face though, nor the giddy feeling that ran like adrenaline through my veins. It must have been infectious, for many couldn’t help but grin back or chuckle as I swept past in a happy daze for once.

I had to find Astrid. She would want every detail of my afternoon with Hati, would probably find a way to seat herself at our table tonight so she could watch.

She scoffed when I said as much after I found her in her den. Farrin had left to run the border, and Astrid handed me a small bone comb and sat on the floor in front of a stool, a silent demand for me to rebraid her hair.

Her head fell back to peer up at me with mischievous blue eyes, a sly smile curling her lips. “Nevermind me, half the pack will be trying to sit nearby when they see Hati with you. I never liked that damn head table for the highranked. There should always be hierarchy, of course, but pack are meant to eat together. An Alpha shouldn’t be some unapproachable figurehead lording over those below.”

“You may have a point.” My friend smirked and lowered her chin again so I could finish braiding. I was so used to the fine strands of my sister’s hair that I was finding Astrid’s thick flaxen mane a challenge. “Maybe I will bring it up to him. It would be bonding for the pack to eat with their Alpha from time to time. Much is discussed at meals he might like to hear. . .and I think he too would benefit from being closer to his wolves. He might feel less lonely.”

“You think Hati is lonely?”

My fingers paused in their work. I did think so. I believed his position, the strength and confidence he had to exude all the time, cut him off from truly feeling like he was Alpha of a pack and not. . .not. . .commander of an army? Jarl over his peasants? He played the part of protector better than any, but he held back from being the carer. The father figure for all. . .maybe because he had never had such a figure himself to learn from.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked, because I knew Hati would be upset if I’d spilled as much to his cousin.

Astrid didn’t seem to mind anyway.

“Of course.”

“Where is your father? I’ve only heard mention of him in passing. I don’t think anyone’s so much as said his name. I only realised when Hati mentioned him again earlier today as ‘Eirny’s mate’.”

She stiffened, which was so uncharacteristic of her that I thought she’d been physically hurt in some way until she let out a soft breath. “They weren’t mates, not really. Not in the true sense, I think. Mother always told me he was a wolf, a nomad like you, but he travelled alone. She would tell me the story of how they met, the year they spent together, how he died before I was born. Hati and Magne told the same story when I asked, nearly word for word. And the skinshifters I grew up with, who were supposedly his pack for a while, always avoided when I asked questions about him, or his death.”

“That is. . .odd.”

Why would her father’s pack be so reluctant to talk about him? Those we lost were kept alive by stories and memories; to feel grief and cry for them to love them still.

“Odd,” she repeated humourlessly. “That was what I always thought. Mother led me to believe that he died in one of Skoll’s final attacks before he retreated, yet, when I wasn’t yet more than a pup, I overheard her speaking to Magne about him. She asked Magne if he thought my father knew I existed, and if he didn’t, would knowing bring him back.”

“She could have been speaking out of grief. Perhaps wondering if he knew she was pregnant when he died, if that might have changed something?”

Astrid tipped her head to allow me better access as I began the final braid. I caught a glimpse of her drawn expression, glazed eyes staring into the glowing embers of the dying fire. “I thought the same, until Magne said it was best he stay away, that he wasn’t a wolf and wouldn’t fit in, that his presence could cause strife.” Her tone turned bitter and for the first time ever, I saw the mischievous quirk that always lingered at the edge of her lips disappear. “He left us. He left my mother. Whoever, whatever, he really was. I've never confronted Mother on the matter because he might as well have died, so why dredge up old ghosts. Sometimes I wish all I ever knew about him were the stories and lies she told.”

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, squeezing her shoulder, for some reason feeling compelled to ask, “What was his name?”

“Angaidh. I suppose he might have come from your homeland.” She looked up at me questioningly but all I could do was nod in answer.

Angaidh was a familiar version of my Uncle’s name, Aonghas; the name of one of the gods my mother believed in. A god of love, poetry, and joyful youth. A god that invited many drunken stories around a fire after a hunt partaken of many packs; stories I’d listened to with a blush describing Aonghas’ antics of seducing female wolves and leaving them with a pup in their belly. Humans too. Even the Sìthean of the forests.

I tied off the last braid and nearly laughed at the absurdity of my own thoughts. I was too used to the interference of gods already if they were immediately the culprit my mind chose for another mystery. Unfortunately, Eirny wasn’t the first female to be left by a male with a pup. And she wouldn’t be the last. I wondered how much she’d looked to Hati to be a guiding father and got a distant cousin instead.

Astrid ran her fingers over the braids and turned to thank me before jumping to her feet. “Come, our males should be back by now. Farrin promised he’d bring back boar so I don’t want to miss on grabbing the best bits.”

“Our males.” I shook my head and laughed, allowing Astrid to pull me to my feet. Back was the sparkle in sky blue eyes as she firmly nodded her head.

Hati was mine. If we mated, it would be indisputable. But for now, he was mine enough.

Arm in arm, we swept through the corridors until we found Farrin, who had indeed brought back boar as promised. Together we made our way to what I now knew was referred to as The Great Hall, where we gathered to eat. Nerves began to build as we took our seats near the back where my family were already gathered, and they all grinned when they saw me.

I opened my mouth to announce that Hati would be eating with us, but I didn’t want the news to spread like wildfire so decided to let them find out themselves when he arrived. It would help me avoid a bombardment of questions as well. Instead they focussed their attention on Farrin and Astrid when they took their places.

Astrid took to my family as if she’d known them for years. My parents adored her bright smile and easy laughter, and more than once I caught Fionnlagh eyeing her whenever Farrin wasn’t looking. Ulli wasn’t shy in pinching his arm though, and the male went so far as to turn his body towards her to give her his undivided attention.

“What are you smirking at?” he grumbled across the table at me.

I laughed instead of answering. There was no point in nettling him, for he’d do the same to me once Hati arrived and I didn’t want to make it worse. My eyes strayed over the bobbing heads of eating packmembers towards the door not for the first time, and once more, there was no sign of the Alpha.

It shouldn’t have worried me, it had only been half an hour or so since we’d began to eat, but for some reason it did. I kept feeling the strangest sensation up my spine; the same one you got when your surroundings are so loud, it’s deafening, and yet you could swear someone was calling your name. . .but no one was.

“He’ll be here,” Astrid murmured by my ear, nudging her arm against mine. “My cousin probably wishes to make an entrance.”

“I’m sure he will be, but he has been gone a while.” He did love to make me squirm though. I sighed and pushed away my plate. “Did Farrin pass him when he was on patrol? Or anyone?”

She frowned, but seemed more concerned for my reaction than the possibility her cousin hadn’t come back. “Well. . .no. But the territory is vast and it’s easy to miss the patrols. Something might have simply led him to look further. You worry too much, Eabha. Doesn’t it get tiring?” Her frown deepened when I flinched. “I didn’t mean that to come across as harsh. Only that you seem to always be burdened by something and I. . .I worry.”

“No, you’re right. I do worry too much. It’s a habit I am trying to unlearn.” Smiling to show I took no offence, I offered her the last piece of boar on my plate.

Giving me a toothy grin, she leaned in and ate up the peace offering, mumbling, “You will try, I’m sure.”

Farrin chuckled as he watched, leaning back to see me clearly from Astrid’s other side. “Hati often gets distracted by pack matters he deems too important to set aside; and he deems most matters thus. If he does not come to you tonight, I guarantee in the morning he will shower you with apologies if you don’t wake up to him in your bed - ouch! Gods damn you, female!”

Face bright red, I could at least now pretend it was laughter at watching Astrid smack the back of her mate’s head, and not embarrassment at what he’d insinuated. . .in full earshot of my every relative. Father pretended he hadn’t heard as he gulped down mead, the tips of his ears as red as my own. Mother and Oighrig shared a look that made me think they were in full agreement with Farrin.

Hati in my bed wouldn’t be a bad way to wake up and start the day, that was for sure.

My own cheeks warmed.

Mother began to tell a story of an apology my own Father owed her, shortly after Mànas was born, and how short it had fallen from being accepted. In good nature, Father listened with a smile as we laughed so hard tears fell and stomachs ached, but real guilt seemed to weigh down his shoulders. I wondered what it was he’d done, but could see he was glad Mother had kept that part of the story quiet.

Nobody made me feel as if I didn’t belong, though I still gained lingering looks of curiosity. Part of me knew I always would, but there was no malice in their interest now that Ingrid and Gerlac had taken me under their wing, and I’d gained the attention of our Alpha. It showed I was trusted; whatever oddities might happen around me.

“Time for the pups to go to bed,” Mother said, watching Anndra try and fail to keep his head up. Father slipped his hand between his forehead and the table before he could hit it, even as he announced he wasn’t sleepy.

“I’ll take them,” I offered.

Hati had made it clear that he wasn’t coming to eat tonight, and while I tried to convince myself he hadn’t changed his mind, the fear niggled away.

Astrid smirked from over the brim of her cup. “Probably detouring by Hati’s quarters. . .”

“Are we going to see Alpha Hati?” Niamh perked up, sleepy eyes suddenly wide and alert. “I want to go!”

“We’re going to bed,” I said, standing and climbing over the bench while trying to keep my smile light and movements easy. That didn’t stop Astrid from watching me like a hawk as I circled the end of the table to collect my siblings. “Shall I take Seumas for you, Aunt?”

Oighrig glanced down at the dark haired pup asleep on her chest, his chubby cheek squished and lips parted with gentle snores. How he managed to sleep with so much noise, I didn’t know.

“He’s alright where he is for now,” she replied. Then her brows drew down, and her expression darkened. When she glanced back up at me with blank eyes, the blue now a milky white, a shiver went up my spine. “Don’t make the wrong choice.”

“What?”

“Don’t make the wrong choice,” she repeated more firmly, panic shimmering in her eyes as her hand flew out to grip the table.

Again and again she threw the words at me, growing more frantic each time. Her voice rose in pitch and volume while Mother and Father tried to calm her down before she woke Seumas.

Fionnlagh watched on grimly but when she refused to settle, he jumped from his seat and ran to her. He pressed his cheek to hers and whispered in her ear, calming her down with soft touches as he reminded her that she was holding Seumas so had to be still and quiet. She relaxed slowly, and barely noticed the concerned stares, nor the way Ulli watched on in adoration as her courting male took care of his mother.

“Ignore her, a ghraidh.” Mother pat my arm. “You know she doesn’t always understand where she is or who she’s speaking to.”

Anndra slid his hand into mine and squeezed, his little face scrunched up in disapproval at my show of fear.

Don’t make the wrong choice.

The random words of a struggling she-wolf, or the advice of a seer?

That question plagued me the whole way to my parent’s den, even with Niamh and Anndra trying to lighten my mood. They endeavoured to trip me up, or tease me, or repeat jokes I would have to ask how they’d heard. Little pests. I loved them.

Anndra was easy to get into bed. As soon as his head hit the pillow, his protests of not being tired died on his lips to be replaced by obnoxious snoring. Niamh climbed in beside him and tucked a blanket beneath her chin, but her big dark eyes were watchful and all too knowing.

“Do you miss him too?” she whispered.

Crouching by the bed, I ran my fingers through her hair. “Who, a ghraidh?”

“Mànas.”

My fingers froze, and then a soft rumble left my lips. In all of this, I’d forgotten about how the pups had been coping. Anndra was too young to really understand our uncle and brother were never coming back, but Niamh was at an age where she knew.

“I do,” I said. “Every day. But he’s still here, he’s still watching, and urging you on when you face a hard day. He still hunts by our side and joins in our songs. I speak to him still.”

“Mammaidh speaks to him too. At night. She thinks I don’t hear but I do. She told him you were going to be Hati’s mate, that she knew he would laugh at that.”

My lips twitched. He would laugh. Long and hard. Not out of disbelief, or lack of faith in me, but because it would prove him right in a long running argument we’d had about what I was capable of. I told him I wanted a quiet life, he had always argued that I would not be content with such a thing.

“Is it true? Are you going to be Hati’s mate?” she asked, sitting up a little. “Do you think he will give me a horse if you are his mate? I would be his sister then.”

“We will see.” I tapped her nose, relieved she found the idea of he and I mating to be to her benefit. “You are too sneaky for your own good, Niamh. You need to stop listening to things you shouldn’t. Now, go to sleep. Make sure you keep Anndra from falling out the bed.”

She let out a sleepy giggle at that and rolled over to cuddle into her little brother. He would probably end up in fur during the night but he was still learning to control his shifting. Even I still went to sleep in one form and sometimes woke in the other.

I backed out of the room slowly after making sure the shutter over the window was secure, cringing as the door creaked ominously when I pulled it shut behind me. Then, as Astrid had guessed, I made my way to the Alpha’s quarters as quickly as I could without causing concern; not that it would be an unusual sight to see me fleeing through the halls.

The candles had been lit and flickered in the still air, but as soon as I stepped around the corner, I knew the hallway was empty. That didn’t stop me from barging into the small room he held private meetings in, finding it bare of a soul too, before moving on to the small enclave that housed the door to his den. My hand hovered on the cool metal handle. If I entered without permission and he was inside, it would be overstepping, but gnawing worry overwhelmed any fear of punishment. . .

He wasn’t inside though.

When I braved risking his ire and shoved in, I found the room cold and dark. The shutters were closed, the hearth unlit, his table neat and tidy. I walked around the perimeter of the room, inhaling deeply as I did, but what lingered of his honeycomb scent was at least as old as this morning. The pit in my stomach opened wider; especially as his favoured sword lay unassuming on his bed. If he’d returned from the border, he would have strapped it to his hip as he always did. Today had been one of the few times I’d seen him walking around the grounds in skin and clothes without it.

The sound of clicking metal made me whip round, and I jumped at the sight of Beta Caldar standing in the doorway, the torch on the wall behind him casting an eerie orange glow around his shadowed form. Dark eyes moved around the room slowly before landing on me still trembling with a fast-beating heart.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“It’s alright,” I said, dropping my hand from where it had clung to my chest. “Have you seen Hati?”

He shook his head and his gaze strayed to the sword with the same grim expression that must have been on my face.

“Not since we bid farewell to Brokkr.”

“He told me he was going to check the scents at the border and then he’d return. He promised me he would be back to eat with me tonight. Astrid and Farrin said he could have gotten distracted, and I’m not trying to say I’m more important than his duty to the pack but-“

“He promised,” Caldar finished for me, offering a small comfort. “Hati would not leave to track a scent and let so much time pass without checking in. Nor would he go back on his word; he knows how delicate the situation is between you both.” He folded his arms when I frowned at that, explaining, “He’s scared he will lose you. Your adamant claims that you doubt what you feel is real, amongst other things we need not speak of now, gives him cause to tread carefully. He would not have risked your trust unless he had no choice.”

That Hati had shared so much with his friend was a surprise, and one that left me feeling more than a little guilty. Bitterness lingered in the Beta's tone, and suddenly I saw his warning for me to not get involved with Hati differently. All along, I thought he’d been trying to protect me. . .

“I would never hurt him.”

“Not on purpose. Not with malicious intent,” he agreed, waving a hand. “None of that matters right now.”

“No. It doesn’t. We have to gather the council. If Hati is missing, they need to know. We need to find him. Now.”

Although he seemed to be as concerned for Hati’s lengthening departure as I was, he didn’t seem as eager to kick up a fuss. He rubbed his scruff covered jaw with one hand while the other fell to the pale antler handle of his Dirk. “What about the risk of giving too much information to Skoll’s spies? If we alert them to the fact he’s missing, they might see it as a chance to do whatever else has been commanded of them.”

“If Skoll had something to do with this then that won’t matter either, for I’m sure his spies will have been the first to know. Whatever the reason he’s not come back yet, I’m going after him, Beta, and I’d rather have permission and company when I do.”

Lifting my chin, I stared him down, this time ready to see my challenge through if I had to. I didn’t need any ghostly voice in my ear this time, feeling a sudden rush of power through my veins. “The council need to be told be told, beyond that we can keep it quiet so as not to cause panic. The pack needs to stand as long as it takes to find Hati, and you need them on your side whether we can trust them or not.”

“Me?” Caldar blinked, and then realisation dawned on him. The male nearly turned green. Grimacing and turning in a full circle as he ran his hand down his slack face.

With the Alpha away, the Beta takes over. Caldar was now in charge of the pack, head of the council, keeper of the territory. And I was stepping on his toes making demands as I was but I didn’t care. I’d take any punishment gladly once Hati was back, even if he was only missing because he’d decided to hunt before returning.

Once his new position had sunk in, however temporary it might be, he straightened up and shook himself out. Pools of brow shimmered with determination as he met my gaze and nodded once. “I will gather the council members. You’re right, this shouldn’t reach the pack. Not until there’s real cause for concern, and even then. . .”

I nodded, but we both knew there was already cause for concern. Deep in my gut, I knew someone had lured Hati to the border. Someone had known the usual patrols would somehow need Hati to check the scents.

“I feel like there’s something I’ve missed.”

I hadn’t meant to say it out loud, stopping Caldar in his tracks. He frowned at me, shifting on his feet before offering stiltedly, “I fear there is something we have all missed, Eabha. There is no use in trying to figure it out now. Wait in the hall in the courtyard. Don’t speak a word to anyone.”

It was a grimace or a bemused smile that contorted his features for a brief second when I bowed my head. My show of submission didn’t fool him, but I’d made my point and I was trying to show willingness to bend to the new order of things.

Once he left, I glanced around Hati’s den once more as if I’d find some clue to his whereabouts I’d missed. Nothing stood out.

Except one thing.

An innocent red deer pelt half tucked under one of his blankets on the bed. I didn’t need to scent it to know it was mine. He must have taken it, my favourite pelt from my bedding. Had he intended for me to spend the night here with him again?

My heart clenched at the thought, the act of bringing something of my den into his own. A strange curling sensation in my gut flooded me with a warm emotion I was yet too naïve to name. It wasn’t too late for us to share his bed tonight. That was, if I couldn’t convince him the spot before the fire really was best.

Turning away with renewed determination, I followed my Beta’s orders and went to await the council.

The fire was burning away in the courtyard hall, and the stone walls bounced around every crackle and pop while I impatiently paced before the long table. I glanced at Hati’s chair every time I passed as if I might find him sitting there, and every time I found it empty, my worry strengthened.

Fortunately it didn’t take the council members long before they began to trickle in. Gerlac approached immediately, yanking my arm and dragging me to the far corner where we might not be heard.

“What is going on?” he hissed, the smell of sweet ale heavy on his breath.

I glared at his fingers bruising my arm, refusing to say a word until he released me. “You will have to wait until everyone is here. I don’t have time to be repeating myself. Did Caldar say anything?”

“Caldar?” he repeated, shaking his head. “No. Only to come here.”

“Just wait then,” I said, waving him off to watch the door.

Loa appeared last, a wrap tied at her waist instead of a dress, her hair bundled back with loose frizzy strands circling her tired face. I felt bad that we’d had to wake her, and probably others, but there was no time to waste.

The wolves murmured amongst themselves as Beta Caldar stood by his Alpha’s chair, and I felt their curiosity build further when I joined him. Gerlac’s disapproval sat heavy on my shoulders and only Loa kept her expression neutral.

“Thank you for coming,” Caldar began, meeting the gaze of each council member in turn. “I know the hour is late and many of you had to be dragged from your dens, so I appreciate how swiftly you arrived.”

Ignoring all he said, Gerlac stood from his chair. “Where is Alpha Hati? Why are you both standing in his place?”

“I am most certainly not standing in his place,” I argued stiffly. “But I am who first noticed what has happened, so it is I who must stand before you-“

Other wolves stood to interrupt me, a male of Gerlac’s age throwing his hand towards me, “She thinks to speak for Hati, Gerlac, is that what you’ve taught her?”

“Hold your tongue and let her speak, Sigurd,” he rebuffed, retaking his seat, but the others weren’t so quick to quit they’re chatter.

My patience was wearing too thin for this. With a growl that rattled the rafter, I slammed my fist against the table, feeling a wave of power flow from me to crash against everyone. Even Beta Caldar staggered at my side, though it hadn’t been directed at him.

“Enough! This has nothing to do with position or power. Your Alpha is missing and I know where he was last, that is why I stand here. No other reason. Your Beta has command of the pack now,” I reasoned, watching frustration on their faces turn to growing horror. “We must find Hati.”

“How do you know he is missing?” Loa asked from the other end of the table.

Thankful for her keeping us on track when I was sure another argument was about to break out, I straightened up and took a breath to soften my tone. “He told me he was going to check on unknown scents by the South-Eastern border this afternoon, and told me he would be back before the evening meal. He has not come back, not has anyone seen or heard from him since.”

I bit my lip and shared a look with Caldar as I debated whether they needed to know more, that Skoll might have something to do with it, that there were spies in our midst, or whether it mattered that Hati and I were now courting. As for the latter, Gerlac sat back slowly in his chair, steel eyes on the table as he stroked his chin. It wouldn’t take him long to figure it out after the conversation he had with Hati and Ingrid, and now this. When our eyes met, I knew he was putting the pieces together.

“It is not like our Alpha to not return when he says he will; unless something has happened and he couldn’t get word back to us,” Caldar added. “It could be he went hunting and lost track of time, it could be an accident, it could be he found someone in need of help. . .but it could be something more nefarious. I’m inclined to think, now the hour is so late and however unfortunate it is, something has happened. It is best we find him even if it is an innocent mistake."

“So, what would you have us do?” Loa asked.

“Look for him.” I shook my head in disbelief. “What else?”

“Caldar said himself we have no idea what’s happened.” Sigurd tipped his head and waved a hand. “I don’t think it is right to call our Alpha missing because he didn’t show up for a meal.”

Arguments broke out again and all Beta Caldar and I could do was watch helplessly as wolves debated over whether there was anything to worry about.

“You could get their attention,” Caldar murmured, glancing down at me. “You could make them listen, probably even make them obey.”

I gripped the arm of Hati’s chair and shook my head, as appealing as the idea was. “And cause a shift in the hierarchy? No. Besides, challenging one wolf in a moment of anger isn’t the same as making a whole council of once Alphas bend.”

“Perhaps.” He eyed the arguing wolves with disdain, folding his arms over his broad chest.

I may not have wanted to see if the extent of my power would bring wolves to their knees, but this chaos was getting us nowhere either. There was already another growl building in my chest, threatening to tear past my lips as I listened to Gerlac and Sigurd heatedly discuss whether or not to send out wolves. Loa sat silent and watchful with a finger pressed to her lips, the only one who seemed to be genuinely considering the merits of each point being made.

When I spoke, my voice was drowned out and irritation flared. They could argue all they wanted but I’d made my choice.

“I’m going to look for Alpha Hati!” Silence fell quickly as I yelled over them all, a small touch of dominance snatching their attention. “If you’re worried about what could be waiting out there for any wolves we send, then you’re admitting there is cause for concern in Alpha Hati’s absence. Someone has to go even if you’re all too frightened to make a decision.”

That kept them quiet. For a moment.

“We may not know what to do now but we all heard our Alpha say himself you were to stay away from scouting groups and hunters until you were properly trained.” The heavily bearded male who spoke had to be another member of the Vargr. The blue eyes piercing from beneath thick eyebrows were just a little too bright.

“He did, and I’ll accept punishment if he sees fit to give it out, but going is my decision as a sitting member of the council-“

“Is that all it is?” Gerlac quipped, and I swore I could see the wheels in his mind turning as he considered me. “Or do you wish to go because you are the she-wolf he was talking about when he and Ingrid ambushed me into nullifying our deal.”

Caldar sighed wearily, as if bracing himself for another implosion, but the others hadn’t quite caught onto what Gerlac was talking about. Had rumour not reached the council yet? It had certainly spread quickly amongst the wider pack.

Lifting my chin, I decided it best not to lie, whether any here could be trusted or not. “If you’re asking if I care for him, I do. Don’t we all? How many wolves would agree to look for him if we asked? Many, I’m guessing. But Sigurd has a point, we don’t know what could be out there. I will find out, or I will find Hati and bring him back.”

“You can not go alone,” Loa said before anyone else might argue or point out some flaw in my plan, or put the pieces together so they might see what Gerlac now did. “Sending a small scouting group won’t leave us undefended or undermanned. Not if they are quick about it. There is no harm in it if she is willing. Better we potentially interrupt his hunt and have him here than leave it too long and have no tracks to look for. We can’t all pretend not to know who might be behind his disappearance. . .”

A mumble of agreement went around the table.

“If that is what has happened then we are all doomed.” The bearded male shifted and paled.

“I say we let her go.” Standing, Loa braced her hands on the table. “Let her take one of the scouting groups, maybe one of the Vargr too, someone capable in case they do run into trouble. They can search the territory swiftly and thoroughly enough, and if they find they need support, or that there is trouble, they can return to alert us. Then we will better know what steps to take next.”

She gave me a smile and I returned it with an uneasy one of my own, though I hoped my appreciation was clear. Without her, we might still be arguing.

I’d never wished harm on anyone, but I prayed at that moment Hati had injured himself, and was just waiting for us to stumble across him.

Gerlac stood again to throw in his support. “I agree with Loa. Hati himself said Eabha is a capable hunter whatever his orders on her joining the scouts.”

Beta Caldar and I let out a breath of relief at the same time as nobody argued against it. Sigurd still appeared unconvinced and unconcerned as he straightened his cloak and shoved his chair back, the wood screeching across the stone floor.

“Good hunting then, Eabha. Bringing back our Alpha will certainly bring you some more notoriety.”

The male at Gerlac’s right rolled dark blue eyes and ran his fingers through his beard before standing to follow the others heading back to bed. He at least seemed withdrawn and deep in thought, waiting for Loa to reach him before he bowed his head to me.

“I pray you find him well,” he said. “If you think tonight was bad, any longer without someone to keep the barking dogs leashed will not end well for the pack.”

My lips twitched, but the gravity of what he implied behind the perhaps ill-humoured joke was rattling.

Only Gerlac remained behind, resting his forearms on the back of his chair. Beta Caldar shifted to stand slightly in front of me but I stepped aside, cutting him a glance that told him I didn’t need protecting. He glanced between my mentor and I then grunted.

“I will go and gather wolves I trust to go with you. We will need to discuss exactly where you’re going and exactly when I expect you to return, with or without Alpha Hati.”

I wouldn’t return without him though. Couldn’t. And I knew Caldar could see the defiance in my gaze, his lip peeling back before he thought better of it and marched off. The heavy doors shook the wall as they shut behind him, and my confidence wavered as I met the all too knowing steel gaze of Gerlac. The male who’s female I’d recently displaced. A male who’d given me no real reason to count him out from the list of possible spies.

“Do you think me a fool, Eabha, daughter of Tabhin?”

“Quite the opposite.” Tracing the wolf head carved into the arm of Hati’s chair, I smiled. “What you may lack in fang and claw, you make up for in thought. Nobody could say you are not intellectual, and clever in the ways of gaining power and influence.”

Ingrid had taught me that word, and her lesson had paid off well as a flash of surprise crossed his face. Then he straightened up and rounded the table to stand by the fire. He stared into the flames, light revealing the lines and wrinkles of age around his eyes.

“Something happened when you found Ingrid. She would not tell me what, but she was shaken and frightened; beyond the fact she’d gotten lost.” He rubbed a hand down his face and glanced over at me. “I know you mean a soul no harm, that you have a good heart and a clever head, but I see more than that too. Before the Blood Drinkers attacked my home, I believed in but one God. He who sent his son here to die for our sins. Then I came here, and I was told all about the forces that were at play when I joined the council. I could deny it, call it blasphemy, but the Vargr proved again and again they were no normal skinshifters.” Eyes of liquid silver and flashing gold narrowed but not with any malice. “Are you one of them, one of the Vargr? Is that what it is? No. It can’t be. Why would that be kept secret? Why would my own daughter keep that from me?”

Lowering my gaze, I offered quietly, “I am a wolf who lost her home, just as you did. I came here for sanctuary from the same creatures you ran from. This pack is my home and I won’t see it fall, just as you won’t. What I am does not matter. What does is that I will do all in my power to bring Hati back here. I will find him.”

“Oh that I believe.” He chuckled. “As I told you, I am no fool. Ingrid says he is in love with you, so I trust you will not return without something. Remember, Eabha, that the council get a say on who they deem worthy to be mate of the Alpha.”

I would have fallen into my chair if I’d been alone but I couldn’t waver in front of him. Now was the time to prove I could hold it together.

“Then I best bring him back to prove my worth, hadn’t I?”

Ingrid says he’s in love with you.

Gerlac smirked, amusement softening his features. “Indeed."