The North

The wind whipped up white foam from the sea and splattered it over the wooden dock. Wood creaked and moaned, which didn’t fill me with confidence. Sailors carried boxes and baskets of food, cloth, jewellery and a whole myriad of other things that would be traded for across the sea. As the old trader had guessed, the captain had asked for only one coin less than he’d picked out for me.

Soon we would board and hopefully leave our horrors far behind us.

Mother fussed around Father as the weather turned dour and dark clouds crept closer to land.

Fionnlagh had offered his help to the Captain to get everything on board and scurried back on forth with an almost smile on his face. He’d never liked to stand still for long. I didn’t either but with the pups growing ever more restless and tired, someone had to keep an eye on them.

"I need to feed Aoibhe," Oighrig mumbled from next to me, bouncing her small female on her hip. My youngest cousin was fast asleep but her little face was scrunched and red, and I knew it meant she would be screaming at the world for food.

"Once we're on board, you can," I replied absentmindedly, only to flinch when I realised I had given an order to my Alpha Female. But she didn't seem to notice, eyeing the growing waves that thrashed the pebbled beach further down.

I didn’t like the sight of it either. None of us had ever been on a boat before so I already feared seasickness would be a problem, but to cross for the first time during a storm, while weak and injured. . .it could prove rough on all of us.

There wasn’t time to fret over it though. As the first thick drops of rain landed and darkened the mud around us, Fionnlagh waved for our attention on the plank that led up to the ship.

“Our cabin is ready! You can come onboard.”

I linked my arm through my aunt's to keep her beside me and herded my siblings in front of me while Mother supported Father. The crew barely gave us a second glance, busy with their work in preparation for setting off. Heavy sails flapped above us while they were tied off in the best position to catch the wind.

Fionnlagh led us down a rickety set of steps that went into the belly of the ship. My nose scrunched at the foul scents that clung to the wood. Even down here everything smelt of salt, and sweat. However, after travelling non stop for weeks, the small cabin we were given was luxury. Two beds were pressed against opposite walls and covered in thin blanket, and the pups all clambered quickly onto the same one.

I guided Oighrig to sit on the only bench so she could feed her pup while trying to brush off that the rocking of the ship was indeed making my stomach churn.

"You should rest, Father,” I said once she was settled. “I'll wake you when they're serving food.”

For a moment he held my gaze with a small glint of his wolf, but I straightened up, willing to fight him if it would get him to back down. We needed him to take it easy so we could rely on him later, although I understood his dislike at being coddled. He could challenge me if he wanted, I knew I could win without truly hurting him. But it would hurt me. I didn't want to see my Father, the male who'd always been my Beta, the one I looked up to and aspired to be like, submit to me. Not like this.

All it took was a gentle touch of Mother’s fingers against his arm for him to deflate. We helped him into the other bed and covered him in the blanket to protect him from the chill and damp.

"I want to go on deck.” Fionnlagh appeared to be the only on excited as he bounced with a grin on his face. "One of the sailors promised to show me how everything works."

"I think it's safer for all of us if we just stay here," I argued. There was a bite to my tone I hadn’t meant to use and I immediately felt guilty.

Fionnlagh slumped sullenly on the bed with the pups, scowling and tugging at his straggly breeches. He could huff if he wanted, he didn’t understand the dangers. It only took one slip of the tongue or growl to slip out for the humans to become suspicious about us and with no where to run to on a ship, it wasn’t worth the risk.

Left with the floor, I slid down and braced myself against the wood, closing my eyes as waves began to rock us more violently. Oighrig sang quietly to the pups and I focussed on her melodic voice, the lyrics which spoke of a female alone with new pups, her mate having not returned for several nights, and her fear he was killed while out hunting. A haunting song. One that made my eyes sting and my throat close up.

I fell in and out of a restless sleep for hours before a young male only a few years younger than Fionnlagh came to let us know we could go down a deck for food. Fionnlagh was eager to leave the confined space, as were the still sleepy pups, but I wasn’t sure I would be able to stand. My hands trembled where they were pressed into the wooden boards either side of me and the numbness in my mouth warned me I would soon be sick.

Mother crouched in front of me and ran the back of her hand over my cheek with a frown. “I will bring you and Tabhin back something to eat.”

All I could do was nod.

When the door clicked shut again, I managed to twist enough to get a glimpse of Father on the bed. Pale and shivering, he no longer held the mass of muscle that always made me feel protected. The male before me was weak, fighting for every breath. I feared for his life when we still had far to travel; not to mention we had to track down the wolf who was calling himself Alpha of alphas.

“You fret too much, my Eabha,” father whispered, his eyes barely open but I was sure he could smell the sourness of nerves in my scent.

“I was not made for this kind of travel, that’s all.” Offering him a watery smile, my stomach clenched as the ship lurched and my hand flew to cover my mouth.

Father chuckled hoarsely and the action caused his eyes to squeeze shut and he clutched at his bruised ribs. “Nor was I it seems. Even swimming across to the islands was not my favourite of journeys.”

My laugh sounded more like a moan of pain and we both fell into silence again. I had to close my eyes again, preferring to drift in and out of awareness for the remainder of our time on the ship.

Days blended together, and I threw up whatever I managed to eat despite Mother’s efforts to settle my stomach. The weather only worsened as time went on and the violent sway of the ship haunted me even in my dreams.

Mother and Fionnlagh tried to move me to the bed, but the moment their arms slipped around me and I left the floor, the sickness returned sevenfold. I pushed at their hands, feverish with mumbled words, so they settled for stripping the bed to make my spot on the floor more comfortable. Curled under a thick scratchy blanket that stuck of sweat, between my father and I, we kept up a constant stream of whining and groaning. He’d been doing even worse than I, and I’d heard Mother speak her fears to Oighrig. His bones weren’t mending with his constant moving, and the energy it was taking to heal was draining.

“The coast was spotted this morning, it won’t be too much longer,” Fionnlagh said from the bench opposite my crudely made den.

I nodded slowly, fearing too much movement would bring up the broth I’d managed to have this morning.

“How will we find the Alpha?”

“We’ll track him down,” I croaked, trying to smile but he didn’t return it. Dark hair shielded his face from me and he looked so much younger than he often portrayed. It must have been hard for him to see his uncle and cousin in such a state.

“We will find him,” I repeated with as much strength as I could muster. “I promise”

A small quirk of a smile on his face lightened his features but doubt still clouded his eyes, his hands gripped together so tight his knuckles were white. Before I could try and comfort him, three pups in various states of dress piled through the door into the cabin.

Mother followed close behind with Oighrig in tow. “We need to start gathering our things. We shall be docking soon.”

Relief washed over me, and even the idea of finally being on steady land had my energy lifting again. I pushed myself to sit up against the wall, smiling at the pups. Anndra cuddled into my side and I happily slid my arm around him.

“Are we almost there now?” he whispered, big brown eyes peering up at me. Dark bags circled his eyes. It hurt to see his suffering. A week of eating everyday wasn’t enough to make up for weeks, months, of going days without a proper meal.

I gave him a squeeze and kissed the top of his head, inhaling his scent that was heavy with the smell of the sea. “Yes. We’re almost there now.”

Shouts echoed down from above deck, thundering footsteps like drums announcing our arrival. I scrambled to my feet and huffed with the effort it took to prop my younger brother on my hip. My other hand grabbed Niamh's, keeping both if my siblings close so that Mother could help Father.

This was a new land with mortals we knew even less about than back home and I didn’t want to risk any of the pups causing mischief; which they would if they got half the chance.

Unwilling to spend another second on the rocking ship, I bolted out the door and up the wooden steps. Niamh squealed in delight as she was dragged behind me, her toes barely touching the ground. More than a few of the sailors watching slowed their work and chuckled as I hoisted myself and my siblings onto the ramp. The moment my feet touched land, I could have sank to my knees and kissed the dirt.

Unfortunately, physical relief didn’t come. My legs swayed and I could have swore the ground rose and fell beneath me. I groaned and had to put Anndra down, reaching out for the wooden post in front of me.

“Yer land legs will come back tae ye, dinnae fash, lass.”

Looking over my shoulder, I straightened up at the sight of the well groomed captain. Stormy grey eyes scanned over me with amusement, the lines around his eyes crinkling. “Next time yer at sea, it willnae be sae bad.”

My stomach rolled at the mere thought. “One can hope so, a Chaiptean.”

With a bellowing laugh, he turned on his heel and strode back onto his ship. I slumped against the post and waited for the rest of our pack to join us.

“Did you really not like the ship, Eabha?” Niamh giggled, tugging on the sleeve of my dress.

I narrowed my eyes playfully and tapped her nose. “I vow to never step foot on one again.”

Even Anndra laughed, and the pair happily continued to make fun of my fear. I paid them little mind. Fionnlagh and Mother made their way off the ship, each with one of Father’s arms around their shoulder. His steps were slow and pain scrunched his face.

Father would not be able to travel. Not for a long while. I knew this as after our first night on-board, so the entire time I’d been suffering on that damned ship, whenever I could get my mind to cooperate and think clearly, I’d been plotting.

There was bound to be somewhere in this small port where the pack could hole up safely for a few days. The thatched roof of a large building merry sailors staggered in and out of was bound to have rooms where travellers could rest. Hopefully the last the money I had would be enough.

Without explaining as much to the others, I kept Niamh and Anndra's hands firmly in mine and marched towards the building.

The pack would follow.

Inside, the building was dour and gloomy with smoke sitting heavy in the air. Rain clouds hid the sun outside and the small number of candles, and tiny fire at one end, did little to light the rest of the room.

Eyes turned our way and whispers started up. I gripped my siblings tighter and suppressed the urge to growl at mortals who dared look me in the eye too long. They didn’t know what they were doing.

An older female watched my cautious approach from behind a high bench that seemed to be used as a table or serving area. Lines of mugs and jugs were stacked up, and the overly sweet stench of the liquid remaining in a few didn’t help my sickness.

“Do you have a room?” I asked the female.

She considered me quietly but when her eyes fell to the heavy pouch at my waist, there was a glint that softened her expression considerably. However, before she could answer, Oighrig grabbed my arm and soun me round.

“Your father has taken a fall.”

“A fall?” I repeated in panic.

Thrusting my siblings into her waiting arms, I pushed past her to run outside. Thankfully, the captain who’d taken a shine to Fionnlagh must have ordered his men to help him in. The poor female behind the bar looked shocked at the sight of my father being carried in by four hardened sailors.

He was safe under the watchful eye of Mother. Turning on my heel, I fingered out a few coins and dropped them on the bench in front of the female. “A room or my family, please. I’m to be sent in search of a healer, I won’t be gone long, but my they need a warm place to stay.”

It didn’t seem to matter what she thought though, as the sailors were carrying my Father upstairs already. Hopefully to place him on a bed and to get a fire going near him.

With a huff, the older female pushed a strand of grey hair from her face and picked up each coin one at a time. She studied the crudely etched metal and grumbled, but accepted, lifting two fingers.

“Only enough for two nights,” she said slowly, her words oddly pronounced and stilted.

I nodded to show I understood then quickly ushered everyone upstairs, including a fretting Fionnlagh holding his sleeping brother Seumas. With a jerk if my head, he stood to attention and began to climb the stairs ahead of me. The sailors pointed down the hall to the last room where Mother and Father were. Father had been laid on one of the small beds that barely contained his long frame. Heavy and laboured, his breathing rasped intermittently.

We were running out of time.

“Pick a bed.” Pushing everyone to the other side of the room, I waited until the pups drew Fionnlagh and Oirghrig into exciting conversation. They’d never been in a human made den before.

Approaching Mother, I lowered my voice and pressed the now light bag of dwindling coins into her hands. “This will pay for food. You have two nights here, I promise I will return with help before you have to leave. The Alpha can’t be far from here.”

“You can’t go alone, a nighean,” she argued, gripping me so tight her nails dug into my skin. Fear brightened her eyes, and it hurt to see her afraid. “At least take Fionnlagh with you. You should always have a hunter on your right, Eabha, you know this.”

“You know I can’t. If something happens, you need Fionnlagh to help hunt and defend the pack. Father is sick, the pups are too young, and Oighrig. . .” I didn’t need to finish.

Her grip loosened on me and I knew she understood. She and Fionnlagh would be all that stood between the pack and the Bloodrinkers, or anything else that might seek to hurt us. If there was any other way, I wouldn’t leave them at all. Fionnlagh was still a pup himself and Mother, while an excellent huntress, was no fighter.

Pressing my cheek to hers and breathing in deeply of her earthy scent, I squeezed my eyes shut as tears threatened to fall. She held me tight, her fingers threading into my hair to rub my scalp. I feared she wouldn’t be able to let go but after murmuring a prayer to Danu, she forced herself to release me. Trembling hands clutched the bag to her chest and she lowered herself to sit on the edge of Father’s bed with red rimmed eyes.

A glance summoned Fionnlagh over, and I led him closer to the door so we could have privacy. Gripping his shoulders tight, I growled for his attention. Dark eyes widened at first then dropped in submission, though he fought the urge to bare his neck. I was proud of the few seconds he managed before he gave in.

“You’re in charge now, Fionnlagh. You must be on your guard at all times, let nothing slip past your notice. It is up to you to make sure everyone is fed and safe.” Gripping his chin, I remained firm. “Do not draw attention to the pack. Do not be seen in fur. Remember, if you can hunt, you can trade meat and fur for coin, but if you do have to leave, find a way of letting me know where you go for when I return.”

He nodded and puffed up, a flash of gold breaking through the brown of his eyes. “I’ll keep everyone safe, I swear. May the Gods watch over you, Eabha.”

He allowed me to press my cheek to his but grumbled as I hugged him. To annoy him further, I nipped at his jaw as if he were a young pup and he shoved me away.

Heart heavy, I was about to leave when Father’s voice reached my ears. Dazed eyes were unable to focus on me but he mumbled my name and shook his head, only to be settled by Mother. She couldn’t look at me as I backed away to the door.

Before I could change my mind, or have one of my siblings realise I was leaving and get upset, I spun around and forced myself out of the room. I managed to slip out the tavern without so much as earning a glance from the patrons hiding from the dreary weather, but once I was outside I hesitated.

Where exactly was I planning on starting? My uncle hadn’t told us anymore than North; keep heading North. Surely I needed more to go on than that?

Mountains so far in the distance they were but a blur of blue against the grey sky were in that direction, surrounded by thick forest that seemed to stretch on endlessly.

Yes, North was enough. This was just like hunting any land for prey. I knew my people well enough to know the sorts of places to look for packs hiding out, and one so infamously large couldn’t hide easily. Straightening my spine, I stepped onto the dirt track and marched for the treeline. I only looked back over my shoulder once to see the tavern where my family were.

I had to be able to do this. There was no choice left.

Veering off the track, I trudged into the deep undergrowth until I was far from where any human eye might see me from the port or the road. Wind whistled through the trees, rustling the thick leaves overhead and whipping my hair into my face. I hurried to tug off my dress and barely noticed it flutter away with the next gust.

Pain flared as my shift took hold. After our sea voyage, I was left drained of energy but I grit my teeth through every pop of bone and stretch of muscle as my body reformed.

There would be a chance to hunt on the way if I made good pace.

My run was awkward at first after so long spent in skin and it took me a few loping strides until I found a steady rhythm. Menthol pine scented the air, and the familiarity was comforting. The landscape was as rugged and unforgiving as the icy cold mountains of the Highlands in the heart of winter despite the sun high above me. It warmed my back a little but the chill breeze prickled through my fur.

Ignoring it was easy, especially when it was only a few hours into my run when I first caught a whiff of hope.

The musty and earthy scent of wolf.

Another skin shifter?

Mud scattered up into the air as I dug my claws into the ground to quickly change direction. I hated that the trail headed back the way I’d come but it wasn’t long before I found them. In the shadows of thick trunked oak trees that towered up into the clouds, a skinny grey wolf had his nose down a rabbit hole. The male's ears twitched as he heard my approach but he didn’t seem to much care for my presence. He dug around the edges of the hole to make it bigger in a feeble attempt to catch his hiding prey.

I would have found it amusing if I wasn’t in such a hurry. I growled for his attention, stomping an impatient paw which would be more than enough to keep the rabbit hiding in place while we spoke. Unfortunately, the stranger knew I meant him no harm and took that to mean he could make me wait a while longer.

He was wasting his time. The same amount of energy he exerted in digging could have been better spent hunting prey with nowhere to hide.

This time when I growled, a deeper sound that grated against my throat, he glanced at me warily. The minute his eyes were on me, I softened my pose, dropping my tail and offering a curious whine instead. Sky blue eyes ran over me as he huffed unhappily but turned to give me his attention with just as much curiosity. I knew I probably didn’t look too healthy, and this young male didn’t look like he’d been fairing much better; which explained his lazy attempt at getting a meal.

Sitting on his rump, his thin tail swished once before the crack and pop of bones filled the air and he was sitting in skin. I took a step back when the truth of his youth was revealed. He was barely older than Fionnlagh, though he tried to appear older as he pushed knotted locks away from his sharp features.

“I could miss my meal, so if you aren’t interrupting me to talk, I’d like to get back to my hunt,” the male grumbled, tilting his head.

He spoke in an old tongue that had once stretched in use even to the Northern islands of my homeland, and was the native tongue of my great grandfather on Father’s side, so I had been taught it.

I tried not to pant once I sat in skin too but couldn’t form words for a good few second. He sighed in exasperation and peered over his shoulder at the rabbit hole but as I’d guessed, the rabbit was smarter than to so much as poke a nose out.

“I’m searching for the Alpha in the North,” I rasped. “The one who is taking in other packs. I must find him.”

The male scrunched his nose as if he’d caught a bad scent, but maybe it was my accent that had caused the reaction as he mused, “More and more wolves come to these shores every month. Things must not be fairing too well in the South.”

“No. We are chased off by mortals and hunted at night by creatures I’ve never seen before.”

“The blood drinkers.” The male nodded his head and licked his lips. So their kind had spread even to these lands. “The Alpha you’re searching for keeps them from his territory, and they tend stay close to the villages anyway for humans are their favourite prey. . . But you still have many hours of travel ahead of you to reach his territory, and that’s if you run without stopping.”

If the blood drinkers were staying near villages, did that mean leaving my pack behind might have put them in more danger than if they had came with me? There was no time to turn back and no time to dwell on such a thought. I had to have faith Mother, Fionnlagh and Oighrig would be able to handle protecting Father and the Pups.

Turning on his knees, the male pointed towards the tallest peak of the mountains in the distance with a twin of similar height piercing the sky next to it. “Head for the gap between those mountains straight on, through the rivers if you can stand the current, and it will cut much time.”

“That’s it?” I demanded, feeling queasy as I tore apart his words. “Do I go through the pass? How will I know when I get there?”

“Oh, you’ll know. He’s taken up residence in an abandoned human settlement; it was once the home of a great King, or so they say. A great building of stone and wood helps keep them safe should they need to hide and his pack patrol the boundary daily; they will find you before you find them. I must warn you. . . they may not take kindly to you. One of the packs he took in betrayed him in a bid to take power and ever since, they have been more wary of who they accept.” Studying me again, he offered, nearly hopefully, “If he turns you away, I would be happy to have wolves to run with. Trees and glens are far more suited to our king no matter what dangers lurk.”

I wanted to ask him just how he knew so much about the inner troubles the new Alpha was facing, and why he was out here hunting alone. For he was obviously alone.

Should I offer to take him with me?

But somehow, from the way he scratched the back of his neck and looked longingly once more back at the rabbit hole, I knew he would decline. After all, if he wanted to be with the Alpha of alphas, and knew where to look, he’d be there now. Had the Alpha turned him away? Perhaps that was the reason for his warning.

Shaking my head, I rose to my knees in preparation to take the form of my fur once more, and I bowed my head in respect. “Thank you for your advice, friend. Safe hunting.”

My dismissal didn’t phase him, nor did the fact I ignored his offer. With an easy shrug, he rolled over and immediately returned to his previous task. If things went badly with the Alpha, maybe I would try and find him again. For now, I had to worry about how to make sure we would be accepted when I had nothing of any really substance to offer.

With those worried plaguing me, my only distraction was the pounding of my paws and growing frustration. No matter how long I aimed for the mountain pass, it never seemed to grow any closer; though the wind grew colder and snow began to fall in giant flakes to blanket the rich earth in white. Then I reached the river the male had spoken of. I threw myself without thought, scrambling claws pushing against the rocky riverbed to propel me across. It wasn’t the current, or even the depth, that made the crossing so treacherous, but the ice that settled into my bones as my fur became drenched and heavier.

Shaking myself of as much water as possible, I knew if I stopped now I would not move again. But gods. I thought I’d known what it was to be cold, but as the pads of my paws began to sting from ice forming between them, and my muscles burned from exertion, it was only now I really knew. I could only be thankful it overpowered any cramping from hunger.

In my growing exhaustion, I began to slip and slide over slippery rocks and frozen streams. It became harder and harder to get back up each time I fell and each step grew heavier than the next.

The great blue mountains that rose up like sharp teeth all around me offered little shelter from the wind howling through the darkening night. My guide glittered overhead in the shape of the North Star, and as it came in line with the mountain pass, a shudder wracked over my body.

A mess of scents suddenly assaulted me; piss from more than one wolf marking the boundary, the musky scent of their rubbed into the ground and nearby trees. Bark had been stripped away on a few of the thin firtrees dotted around the lower ground, sharp claws raked across to bare the lighter wood beneath.

I’d crossed onto pack territory.

Relief mixed with desperate anticipation left my legs trembling beneath me and threatening to pitch me face first into the deep snow. Shaking my head and snarling at myself, I steadied and pushed on with all my might until the world became a blur with the speed I ran. In my haste, I stopped paying close enough attention to the , and my back left leg snagged on the root of a tree. My body flew forward while my leg yanked back, my startled yelp followed by the violent sound of a bone snapping.

On instinct, I shifted to skin which only caused the broken bone to crumble and splinter as my shape changed. A raw scream tore from my throat, echoing off the mountain side and sending the birds if the night scattering into the sky.

A string of curses in every tongue I knew flew past my lips as the agony blinded me. Falling sideways clutching my leg, cold snow soaked my hair and skin until my teeth chattered audibly together. I tried to draw on my instincts to shift back to fur for warmth and strength, but my body wouldn’t obey.

Gods, I could barely think!

I screamed again, crying out to my gods for help. Danu could give me the will to go on for the mother of gods surely understood that I wanted to offer my pack a new home as she had for all her children. But she didn’t answer me. The faces of my family flickered in my mind and yet no matter how much I clawed at the roots underneath the snow, I made it no further than what would surely become my final resting place.

The wind picked up and I frowned as the howling drone bounced around me. No, not just the wind. Wolves. They circled the perimeter of the small clearing, sticking to the shadows the trees offered, but I caught the eerie glow of jewel coloured eyes blinking intermittently. I managed to sit up, and when they began to growl and creep in, adrenaline spiked my veins.

Suddenly I was back on, swaying dangerously, but I was up.

“I demand an audience with your Alpha, you will take me to him!” I yelled, the wind whipping the words from my lips.

None of the wolves stepped forth and I began to wonder if they weren’t skin shifters after all but our wild cousins. Or maybe I’d gone mad from the cold. Then, out of the dark, the blurry shape of a female in skin came towards me.

“I must speak to your Alpha,” I repeated, my thoughts becoming foggy as pain pushed past my resolve.

Again and again, I pleaded with her, hoping she understood – if she was really there at all - that she'd take pity in me. Before she could reach me however, my legs gave out from under me and the world went black.

Do you think Eabha ran into friend or foe?