Chapter 28 | the reins
I avoided him like a moth in rehab from the flame. In order to keep a relapse out of my near future, I stayed busy on the opposite side of the hot springs. Out of his sight.
The saffron tree made for good coverage while ridding myself of any dirt left from the greenhouse catastrophe.
Any time I heard or caught a glimpse of Reks easing my way, I let him have a brief glance at me just for the sake of letting him know I didn’t run off. Then I’d go back to hiding behind the tree like the immature child I acted like. It’s not like I could get out of these gardens without him anyway.
It wasn’t like back on Earth when everything in my life was normal. If I was mad at someone, or if a date didn’t go well, I could just give the cold shoulder by not replying to text messages and pretend to not be home if guys came knocking. Avoidance made easy.
Now… stuck on another planet, I had the audacity to make-out with the irritating sexy-as-hell assassin with relationship issues, who happened to be the only thing keeping me safe from extraterrestrial harm. I couldn’t just ghost the guy with that hanging over my head.
I’m an idiot.
Nox’s projection pulled free from my skin, slithering through the steam on the surface before facing me. ~You are too hard on yourself, Amelia. You are a victim of your own barriers. Once you set your mind on something serious, you tend to close yourself in on that idea, even… if you are wrong.~
I paused rubbing the ashlet dust from my chest to give the Guide a long, narrowed look. What are you talking about? You heard him compare me to the empress. He can’t look at me without seeing her. Even if I do have feelings for him, I… I can’t give in to him when he obviously needs closure with her. All I am right now is a walking reminder of… whatever he feels toward Ellison Lucil. Adding my feelings to the mix is just selfish.
Nox’s head plopped into a floating lotus-like flower. ~How very noble and boring of you.~
I arched a brow. Would you prefer me to be egocentric?
Nox rolled its slitted eyes and hissed in disagreement. ~I am merely playing devil’s advocate here. I possess an understanding of what master Reks Arlen must be feeling. You pushed me out when I tried to warn you of the dangers involving your human friend, Blaire Bailey, and you locked me up in a dark corner of your mind. It was quite terrifying. I did not know something like that was possible. Please do not resort to such measures again. I’ve been quite upset over the ordeal.~
I watched as the Guide’s tail swished nervously across the water’s surface as it relayed its feelings over the matter. I reached over and stroked the top of its head. I hadn’t realized I’d done something like that. Somehow imprisoned Nox in my own head? I didn’t even understand how something like that might work.
Aw, I’m sorry, Nox. I didn’t do it on purpose. Will you forgive me? I’d rather not have you and Reks team up against me. I pet up its tiny nose, offering a white-flag smile.
Nox sighed. ~Alas, I already considered such a route and deemed the criteria needed to be too lackluster to allot enough merit to pique the vitiate’s interest. Another time, perhaps.~
My nose crinkled up on one side from its outright confession to wanting to side with Reks.
You little turd.
I imagined the thought to be laced in fire as I shot back my retort. I dunked its projection head under the water, and Nox darted farther under, as if to swim away from the trouble it spewed.
I plunged both of my hands into the water, trying and failing to snatch the slippery projection. Its child-like fear turned into excitement upon registering its obvious advantage over me. It slipped and slid around me like a warped game of noodling. It swam circles around me, provoking both my irritation and my excessive splashing to catch it.
“Amelia?” the unsure roll of Reks’ smoky tone sent a shiver down my spine. I jolted up from my hunt, horrified at the idea of him witnessing the frenzy Nox initiated. Thankfully, I couldn’t see him. A small mercy.
Nox disappeared back under my skin with a victorious hiss.
Ignoring that, I took perch on one of the saffron tree’s roots curved up enough to allow my butt to sit a little above the peachy water, leaving my legs swaying through the mist and liquid warmth.
Gauging the direction of his voice, I thought Reks may be just on the opposite side of the broad tree.
When I didn’t answer, he continued with an opposing undertone. “You can’t ignore me forever, Amelia. We need to talk about it.”
My cheeks were already flushed from the hot springs and from my frustration at failing to catch Nox, but they turned hotter to spite me.
I roughly combed a hand through my wet hair, pulling it to a side to work on the tangles. “What do you want me to do, Reks? Should I let you kiss me while you pretend I’m Ellison?” I snapped.
“That is not—”
“Don’t play with me. That kiss. The way you kissed me was not…” It wasn’t meant for me. It was too good of a first kiss. A kiss that lights the soul ablaze. Unparalleled, and stolen by errant hands. But I couldn’t bring myself to say that part out loud. I bit my lip out of frustration, swishing away a low-hanging vine tickling my arm.
“Not everything I do is for the sake of Ellison Lucil.”
Neither a confession nor a denial.
The silence between us thickened. I quietly watched the saucer-shaped petals float across the water’s surface with a sense of poise I wish I possessed. There was a delicate beauty to how the mist dipped into the shallow bowls of the petals, then effortlessly poured out over the thin rims.
A petal fell from the tree to land on my lap. “Look… it was my fault it happened in the first place. Just forget it happened.” I toyed with the soft petal between my fingers, mindlessly collecting the others slowly descending on me.
Reks chuckled darkly, but I couldn’t pinpoint his precise location. Probably still on the other side of the tree since my side of the springs remained calm and undisturbed.
“So many thoughts and assumptions hide behind those distracting eyes of yours. It may have caught me by surprise, but that doesn’t change the fact our kiss was intended for you just as much as you intended it for me. Even if you hadn’t taken initiative, we’d still be having this roundabout conversation, because I still would have kissed you. Unapologetically.” he relented. “And you know what? I may do it again.”
Like hell, he will!
A wave of hot frustration and unwarranted want rushed through me from his blunt answer. Goosebumps mixed with embarrassment reddened my skin. I turned to glare at the tree as if I could burn holes through it with my mind and scorch him on the other side.
“W-well, not without my permission you won’t.” My face flushed from the stupid quavering my voice adopted.
A couple more petals fell on me before he spoke again, this time with a taunting croon. “Do you really believe a vitiate asks permission for anything, Amelia?”
My heart skipped. “Vitiates who have an ounce of respect would.” I said, hating how his suggestion painted a fantasy of him taking what he wanted from me in my head.
“It’s because of what I said in the convertavtory. Isn’t it?” his voice fell somber.
I added the falling petals to the growing pile stacked in my hand, spreading them out in a full circle, keeping the connection in the middle between my thumb and middle finger.
“A little,” I admitted. “It’s more to do with it not being fair to either of us. Both our lives are upside down right now. Your past is still painfully fresh. Unanswered. What… what happens if we end up finding out the empress is still alive?” the question came out forced, like my own will attempted to stamp it out before given voice.
It’s not like I hoped the empress to be dead, but the thought of her still being out there somewhere left tendrils of fear slithering through me; a strange, ungrounded fear this woman whom I’ve never met might take something—someone—I want without a fight. He’d choose her over me.
I’m selfish for even thinking it. And it drove me crazy how deeply he affected me.
Reks remained quiet. He believed the opposite. He believed the empress to be dead and gone, forever lost like the majority of the orleizen empire.
There had to be more to it. There’s no coherence to the idea this woman would have abandoned him after going through the trouble of saving him from dying during The Fall.
For all we knew, she could be holed up in her own cryo orb. She did it to him, so who’s to say she didn’t do it to herself too? If we found her in that kind of state, how easy would it be for her to mend what she had broken with Reks? What would it take for him to forgive her?
I hated the hollowing pit that thought dug in my chest.
Another one of the hanging vines tickled my back. I swished it away, but it swung back and bent across my shoulder, sliding down my arm like it had a mind of its own. I eyed it, pushing it away again, then heard a low chuckle.
My eyes trailed up the budding vine, where a hand orchestrated its movements.
Of course.
The now-shirtless vitiate leaned back on a lower-set branch, one leg dangling off the side while he plucked one saffron petal after another, dropping them to eventually land on me. A side of his mouth kicked up in a lazy smile.
He’d been dropping the petals on me all this time. All this time, he had eyes on me while I thought I’d been perfectly hidden behind the tree. Gods. How much had he seen? Embarrassment flooded in.
“Hhh—how long… have you been up there?
His lazy smirk turned wolflike. “Wouldn’t you like to know? Long enough for you to repair the flower I disassembled, for starters.”
I scoffed, looking down at the makeshift flower in my hands. Not all the petals were saffron. A few were from ashlets. I never even stopped to wonder why ashlet petals were falling on me.
That’s what I get for being too caught up in my own head.
“Look… it’s been a really long day. Let’s just get what we came for and go.”
I moved to slide off the root, but Reks manipulated the vine to circle around me in a slackened loop. “Not so fast. There’s no need. Everything’s been gathered.”
“Oh.” I said, hoping he didn’t catch the shadow of disappointment in my tone. I knew we’d need to head back soon, but not this soon. He must have collected everything we needed while I was busy pouting. Damn his efficiency.
He sighed, leaning back against the branch, idly holding onto the vine he looped around me. “I don’t know about you, but I’d rather sleep under the stars tonight than in some stuffy, windowless lab.”
The charming, savvy glance he stole from above gave away what he didn’t put into words. Had he intentionally offered to sleep here because he knew I’d prefer it? Perhaps he wanted to as well.
I couldn’t help but smile. “Weather permitted; I’ll always prefer to fall asleep under a blanket of stars.”
“Thought you might.” A short sound of amusement came with his reply.
My heart fluttered at the prospect of it. How often would I have the chance to sleep under another planet’s star system?
I unraveled the vine from my shoulders then dipped back into the hot springs to make my way over towards the bank. The grass felt soft against my palms as I lifted myself out of the water. The rolling steam kept the surrounding temperature warm and relaxed. Though, I did wish my clothes weren’t wet.
“Over between the two large, bowed roots. You’ll see our setup.” He said, walking in perfect balance across the low-hanging branch, sturdy enough to not cow to his weight.
I pursed my lips at the mentioned setup.
My initial assumption followed the lines of him sleeping under one of the bowed-up roots while I slept under the other. But the only area not too overgrown was the small patch between the two roots, where abundantly large feathery leaves laid horizontally between them, along with his dry good-as-new shirt, our shoes, and the torn-up tunic, which now served as a makeshift bag for plants and seeds.
I thought about making a snarky comment about him only making a setup for me and still needing to put together one for himself, but decided to take the high road by plopping myself near the bank instead—
“Whoa, what do you think you’re doing?” A cyan tendril had suddenly wrapped around my waist, preventing me from sitting. I gasped out from surprise and imbalance, then Reks was behind me, hands on shoulders, leading me towards his campgrounds. “Has the steam gotten to your head? We’re sleeping over here.”
When did he even jump down from the tree? His skills in the art of silence were getting on my nerves.
“What? N-no.” I argued. “I’m doing you a favor. This might be the only night you’ll get real sleep, what with me not being able to get out of the gardens without you leading me out. It’s the perfect opportunity for you to rest!”
He snickered, squeezing my shoulders. “You forget Sio had access to this place too, by default through El. No telling if it can activate it in its current state. If there is a way, Sio’s bound to lead you straight through it the moment I hit rem. If not, who knows how it may retaliate? I’d rather be damned to Shayd than wake to you drowing if Sio decides to take you on a sleep-induced night swim.”
A shiver sank down my spine.
It also made me wonder if orleizens performed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, or if Guides handled that after being pulled out of the water.
Nox may not register if I was drowning under Sio’s influence. Sio could easily get rid of me if it decided I became too much of a liability. A scary thought. I couldn’t become useless to Sio. Not before I convinced it to help Blaire.
Both Reks and his Guide loosened their hold on me as we approached the designated spot.
“Okay, you have a point. But we can still have our own… leaves to sleep on. Tell me where you found these, and I’ll go grab a couple for myself.” I said, gesturing down toward the winglike leaves large enough to belong to a phoenix of legend.
His brow climbed, matching the reluctant look he shot me for suggesting such a thing. “Indulge me. Won’t you? I set this up with an idea in mind.” He pulled his dried shirt from the bowed-up root he hung it over, then turned back to face me. “Do me this one, harmless little indulgence, and I’ll allow you to wear my uniform shirt for the night.”
I leered back at him, though I gingerly took his offered shirt as I asked, “are you trying to bribe me? What exactly are you getting out of this?”
A practiced smirk fell short of revealing what he had in mind. “Lay down, Amelia.”
My insides birthed a whole new species of lava-infused butterflies from those three words.
Being way in over my head was an understatement when it came to Reks Arlen. He’d be my undoing.
“I-I call this side.” I avoided eye contact whilst attempting one last time to claim a section of the feathery leaf laid out for us to myself. I just had to pick the stars. Didn’t I?
I failed to see the point of why we needed to sleep this close. But he did take the time to set this area up, so I'd try not to jump to conclusions.
I pulled his shirt on over my head as I moved to lay down. The lovely scent of ashlets mixed with his own aroma enclosed me from his uniform. An instant reminder of how his lips tasted. I tried to focus on the warmth it provided instead of the intoxicating scent as I nestled into the plush leaves more pronounced at the top where my head rested.
It was nice, for being on the ground. But it still felt bumpy and hard underneath the setup.
Reks laid next to me, adjusting himself away from the edge of the widespan leaf, then looking to check I wasn’t too close to the edge too.
My brows scrunched together from the odd attention to detail. I opened my mouth to make a snide comment about my life not being in danger of a grass encounter, but it fell short as tendrils from both his wrists slithered into existence.
Maybe I should have pushed for more details of what he meant.
My heart raced.
The dual cyan tendrils went in opposite directions—one towards our feet and the other towards our heads.
I squealed out in surprise, lurching to the side to move away from whatever came next.
Reks’ arms snaked around me before I could make a roll-off escape. He pulled me against him, close enough to feel his breathy laugh warm the back of my neck. "Oh, no you don't."
The feathery leaves tightened under our weight as they abruptly lifted around us, enclosing us in like a partial cocoon a few feet above the ground.
The breath that had caught dead in my throat suddenly loosened. I blinked, taking in what had happened.
Luk made several loops around both bowed-up roots, tightening its grip around the trees. My gaze fixed on Reks, whose black prismatic eyes locked me in, wholly absorbing me and this moment.
My core fluttered as he gently tucked a wet lock behind my ear. “It isn’t your hammock nor your stars, but I hope it brings you a sense of comfort all the same.”
Gratitude unfurled through me, burning my eyes. I pushed up on my bottom eyelids to keep the tears from falling.
Why him? Why did he have such an effect on me? My heart and soul yearned for this man, and I couldn’t completely comprehend why it did to such an extent. I wasn't strong enough to shove what I felt to the side. It outweighted its opposition on the balance scale.
Ellison Lucil may have been the catalyst to his battle of love and betrayal, but she was also the reason why Reks and I crossed paths. If not for her betrayal, I would have never met him… among so many other things.
The past has a way of altering the unwritten. Though, here on Orlaith, they’d call it Fate’s design. He had said it himself when proposing the idea of us helping each other. Fate brought us together.
“This impromptu hammock of yours is smaller than mine, but way softer.” I laughed, wiping the corners of my eyes. I managed to keep the tears at bay, but they didn’t leave my lashes unscathed.
“Perhaps it only seems smaller in size because you’ve never shared it with a man before now.”
I blushed. “Not just anyone can be invited to the hammock, Reks Arlen.”
He licked his lips to abate his smile into a soft smirk. By the way his features softened, I thought he might have liked my answer. Whatever he wanted to say slid away and remained as a hidden thought in his mind as he adjusted his back to lay flat on the feathery hammock.
I followed suit, looking up to study the night sky. Every constellation I observed countless nights back home were absent, nowhere to be found. This sky was all bright and new and craved exploration.
My fingers twitched with the desire to focus my telescope to zoom in on spots so I could sketch out new discoveries next to all my zodiac doodles. Yet, Nox mostly eliminated the need for a telescope. If I focused on a specific cluster of stars, they began to come into better focus. A child-like excitement thrummed through my veins from that boon.
I wasn’t sure how long I studied different little star clusters before feeling Reks’ eyes on me. “A stargazer to the very core. It’s rare to witness a passion as beautiful and pure as yours.”
My hand brushed across my collarbone, grinning at his compliment. “Is there something in the water here that cleanses away your cheeky side? If so, remind me to bottle some up before we leave.”
“Careful. That side likes to be provoked.” He warned, sliding his opposite hand under his head. “Tell me. What is it about the night sky that spellbinds you?”
I hummed thoughtfully. “I don't think anyone's ever asked me that before. There's so much I could say: like, the constellations and boundless stories each carries… getting to witness a meteor shower on the darkest night… the phases of the moon… there’s so much to love. An endless sea brimming with possibilities and promise. But here? The sky is so different. It’s so new and beautiful. I always knew it was vast and there were countless things out there beyond my viewpoint. But now that I’m here experiencing this, it gives me a whole new perspective when looking at the stars. It feels so… alive. Not just a dream of what-ifs anymore. ” I drifted off, lifting a finger to trace the two moons into an infinity symbol. "Some nights I stare up and try to figure it all out. But others, I just let it consume me. I take it all in and demand for no answers."
“You would love Vi’lr.”
“What?” I asked, catching the end of a soft smile.
He intertwined his fingers behind his head. “A planet the empire used to be allied with. Not sure how things stand with them now, but Vi’lr held festivals around rare and extraordinary astronomical events. The Aurora Pillars, Fate’s Door, the Volcanic Nimbus, the Star Rite… you’d be rendered speechless.”
My heart danced from only hearing the names of the anomalies. I propped up on an elbow and peered at him in eager earnest. “Are any of them happening soon? How far is Vi’lr? Can your gate ring take us there, or does that exhaust too much astral energy from it?” by how quickly the questions rolled off my tongue, one might think I snuck a shot of concentrated caffeine on the side.
Faint white light glinted off his dark eyes as an amused expression surfaced, hinting at that notorious side of his, as if he just discovered and confirmed how to exploit a piece of my heart. How shockingly assassiny of him. I’m sure he had notable experience in luring out one’s weaknesses, and on a much larger scale than this interaction.
“Ah. I’ve piqued your interest.” he mused. “One of their events is set towards the beginning of their next solstice, not too far around the corner. But the next big event will be here on Orlaith, celebrating the Onyx Moon with the new year. It was normally celebrated across several planets under the empire and lasted for seven days straight. I’m sure it’s still celebrated for the same length, but on a much smaller scale, I imagine.”
I pushed my bottom lip out in a disappointed pout. “Well darn. Nox says that a little over a month away. We’ll probably have all our problems solved by that point.”
“Then nothing will stop us from attending those events.”
My heart stilled. “Don’t say that unless you mean it.”
“Why wouldn’t I mean it?”
“I just don’t want to get my hopes up. That’s all.”
He propped himself up on an elbow to level with me, casting an opaque light from Luk across his face. The shift of weight in the hammock made our bodies press together, cocooning us further. “I mean it, Amelia. I’ll take you to see every astronomical event I get word of… if you’ll have me.”
A slow smile stretched across my face as an unrivaled joy flared within. “And as long as there aren’t any scary monsters made of crystal there?”
“Eh,” he partially shrugged one shoulder. “We’ll just sneak around those assholes.”
I laughed, then so did Reks. The moment sent a trill of excitement to vibrate through my bones.
“I bet they’re all so beautiful. With the names you mentioned, I can only imagine what’s in store.”
“They are. Though I’ve never had the chance to witness the Star Rite, I’ve heard it’s unparalleled. And… extremely expensive to get in.” he shook his head, as if he knew from experience.
Oh. I hadn’t considered any of these events cost money. I could only assume that meant planet Vi’lr had a grand view, if not reserved the only view, of such an event to be able to pull off capitalizing over it.
“How expensive are we talking?”
“We’re talking stupid-rich. The audience for the Star Rite is nearly exclusively ruling classes across a wide range of planets they’re associated with.” he rolled his eyes, which was amusing to see on his normally devishly charming demeanor. “The only other way to get in without going bankrupt is if you can leverage a favor with the Elder - which is far more trouble than one might think. I doubt many have succeeded in earning a spot that way.”
“But you did.” I raised a brow, curious.
He smirked, plucking a stray ashlet petal from my hair. “It’s a long, exhausting story involving me saving his daughter… then utilizing me once more to exact his vengeance on the perpetrator. Sounds simple on surface level, however, it was everything but. After everything, it’s a real shame I never had the chance to attend.”
The somber tone he drifted into spoke volumes. He never went because he was thrown in cryo. His life came to an abrupt halt because Ellison Lucil decided it should. Plans diminished. She never consulted him. She never asked what he wanted. She just took.
It made me sick with confusion.
So much so, I wished I could somehow peek into his head and see what he had experienced. And most of all, I wanted to get into her head. I wanted to seek out and dissect why she did what she did – learn about what else she had done.
Would Sio give us those answers? Would she?
I still had a bad feeling about what would happen when we found the superior Guide. It led me to Reks, so it might also be leading us straight to Ellison. Would our plans change if that happened? If the empress came back into the picture, she may not allow her vitiate to attend such events with someone else. She may not allow him to help me save Blaire.
I leaned back to again wonder about the boundless stars and two rivaling moons sharing the same night. After a couple peaceful moments of silence, I said, “If Vi’lr doesn’t let you in to the Star Rite with your millennia-expired invitation, then I’ll gladly attempt to jump through any non-murderous hoops the Elder may have in store before the next one.”
A long moment passed where his breath seemed to come to a standstill. I turned to look at him and ask if he was okay, if it was something I said, but the warmth of his chest greeted my face as his arm hooked under my neck to hold me in that embrace. His chin rested on the top of my head, one leg pushing between mine.
I knew I should fight it, but the tranquil cascade of water topped with being encased in his warmth made every lingering tension ease away, turning my eyelids heavy and drooping. I closed my eyes, pressing a hand to his chest and curling my other under his arm.
He let out a long, delayed breath, then expanded his fingers around the back of my head, deepening the embrace.
Here. I felt safe here.
“Sweet dreams, Amelia.” He whispered softly.
A sleepy smile graced my lips. The notion meant more than just a simple bidding of goodnight. I hoped to be lucky enough to dream of sweet things rather than what we both knew waited for me once I did fall asleep.
“Sweet dreams, Reks.”