The Missing Traveller

Mirielle tapped her foot. “Where is she?” She glanced down at her timepiece, which was strapped around her wrist in Bastium fashion.

Alister didn’t answer her, but stared down the corridor Ren would come from. It didn’t seem like her to be late, but she also hadn’t said how long her meeting would go for.

A figure turned round the corner and stalked down the tunnel. The narrow frame and spiky-haired silhouette identified her as Ren, and by the time her face was visible, it was clear she wasn’t in a good mood. A burning scowl replaced her usual frown.

When she joined them, Alister resisted the urge to ask her what was wrong.

Mirielle didn’t follow suit. “Are you alright?”

Ren glared at her. “I’m fine. Let’s get this over with.”

When they didn’t move at once, Ren made a frustrated growl. “Come on, then!”

Mirielle hurried to the corner where she would watch for Defenders from the square, and Alister followed Ren to the door. Yuri made eye contact with them from his spot leaning against the wall of the corridor. Alister’s heart picked up. What if one of the Defenders saw and they were arrested? At least we’d make it into high sec, he thought wryly.

“Once I unlock the door, we split up and find the red rust.” Ren slipped a pin into the lock and crouched down so she was eye-level with it. “Remember, it can also be called redinite.”

“I know.” Alister drummed his fingers on his leg. “We went over it about twenty times last night.”

Ren’s cold eyes glared at him for a moment. “Alright, Mister Knowledgeable. So do you know if you’ll really let Yuri be arrested tomorrow?”

Alister’s fists clenched. “I…he volunteered.”

“Yeah, yeah. I saw the relief in your eyes when you realised it didn’t have to be you.” She narrowed her eyes at the lock.

He crossed his arms and leaned against the door. “What’s got you so worked up today?”

“Don’t change the subject.” The lock clunked. Alister looked from Mirielle to Yuri. Both of them rested their palms in front of them, signalling the Defenders weren’t watching. He pushed open the door.

Inside were aisles as high as the ceiling, loaded with dark wooden boxes on several shelves. Alister stalked down the aisle in front of him while Ren went to the end to search for red rust.

His eyes passed over unknown words and phrases, but he was more concerned with finding out what had made Ren so biting. “Did the meeting not go well? More clients who are getting you involved in their crimes?”

Ren’s reply was a higher pitch as it came from the direction of her aisle. “None of your business! If you want to talk about our personal lives, then why don’t you tell me the real reason you won’t take Yuri’s place? You’re scared!”

Alister resisted the urge to throw the box of ‘nexium’ into the opposite aisle in frustration. “You’re right, alright? But I will, I will take Yuri’s place! So why are you so angry?”

“I found it!”

He abandoned his search and met Ren at the entrance. She held two small black bottles in her hands, with ‘redinite’ in white text across the front.

Her eyes were cold as she shoved them into his hands. “I lost my job. Because of you. I requested help one too many times from The Smith’s headquarters, and he discovered what I was doing. What I was helping you do.”

Alister opened his mouth to respond, but she darted out of the room. He pushed the bottles of red rust deep into his coat pockets and swung his head out of the room. Ren sprinted down the corridor and turned into the town square. Alister’s heart hammered as he ran after her.

When he rounded the corner to the town square, he saw her next to the two Defenders on the other side.

Mirielle’s eyes were wide as she stood from her bench. “What’s happening? Did you get it?”

Time seemed to slow when Ren seemed to raise her hand to point at Alister, her eyes as cold as he’d ever seen, and his breath disappeared as if he were punched in the chest.

The Defenders took off at a run.

“Run!” Alister turned back to the corridor. Yuri tensed like a jaguar about to pounce as Alister ran past.

The slapping of boots against rock told Alister the others followed him. The circle of light at the end of the corridor grew, until he ran through it and collided with a solid mass. A Defender, whose bronze eyes stared down at him.

Alister opened his mouth, unaware of which explanation would come out of it, but before he said a word, the Defender pulled out his blade.

“Stop right there.”

Alister dismissed running the moment it entered his mind. Instead, he fastened his grip on the crutch he still carried and swung it towards the Defender’s wrist.

The Defender evaded, and his sword tip came hurling to Alister. He used the crutch to deflect the stab. He jabbed the other end at the Defender’s uniformed chest. The man’s free hand reached into his belt and drew out a dagger. He swung both weapons like a flurry at Alister. He deflected them with desperate eyes, his body acting before his mind. Where are Yuri and Mirielle?

The dagger stung his forearm, and his cheek, but he managed to evade the sword’s sharp tip. Any thought of retaliation evaporated. All of Alister’s attention focused on not getting hit.

“Alister, get down!”

Yuri’s booming voice echoed through the tunnel, and Alister dropped to his knees, evading another slash of the sword as he did so.

As the Defender loomed over him, he regretted putting himself in such a vulnerable position. The man raised his sword, and as Alister scrambled backwards, a dagger rushed over his head and sunk into the Defender’s skull, right between his shocked, hazel eyes. He collapsed in a heap, and blood seeped from the dagger’s resting place.

Alister could do nothing but gape a silent scream at the dead man, until he was hauled to his feet and a voice bellowed in his ear to move.

He could hear voices talking around him or to him as they strode down the maze of Wyster’s streets, but he was unable to process them. They were just noises buzzing around as he tried in vain to remove the image of those lifeless, hazel eyes from his mind.

The man didn’t need to die, only be stopped. Would he have killed Alister otherwise? Should Alister have ducked down without considering why? Was there another way they could’ve escaped safety, and if they couldn’t, was their safety worth another man’s life? Did he have a family, those who would mourn over him that night?

The thoughts sped through Alister’s mind, and the sickening familiarity of it turned his stomach. Inadvertently causing the death of another. Images flashing through his mind. Line of blood between hazel eyes, a scream of half his name as a desperate hand reached for his…

Somewhere between the two horrible events, he’d smiled and laughed, because for some reason it had been acceptable to move on. But now, as he was numbly aware of Mirielle and Yuri’s quick voices back at Yuri’s house, the reason escaped him.

His head beat in unison with his rapid heart, and he still felt nauseated. Or had he been sick already? His eyes found a wooden bucket between his feet.

I’ve done it again. Someone is dead because of me, and I don’t even know his name…

Alister pulled himself upright and rested his head in his hands against the table he sat next to.

He must have stared at the word ‘Alex’ for a full minute before it sunk in.

His voice was a croak. “What’s this?”

Mirielle stopped talking mid-sentence and turned to Alister. “You’re speaking! Finally.”

Alister held up the envelope with his name on it.

Yuri’s voice was as calm as ever. “Ren dropped it off last night.” How could he possibly be calm after killing a man?

Alister pushed his attention to the letter. When he turned it over, he read ‘Ethan Platt’ on the back. Autonomously he opened the envelope and read the letter.

Ali,

Thank you. I won’t waste words saying sorry again, but I’ll say you’re a better man than I’ve ever met. My pa’s doing real well. The healers say he could last another year, maybe even two, and it’s all your doing. I’ve always been rubbish at letters, so there’s no way I can tell you how grateful I am to you for what you did, but…thank you, a thousand times over. No normal person offers that much coin after being stabbed in the back, but you did. You said you left your home because you caused the death of another. I just wanted you to know you saved my pa’s life, and if you’d never left, he would’ve been dust and ashes already. We weren’t friends for long, but I can tell you’re the kind to beat yourself up over what you did…but as far as I’m concerned, you’re a hero. And because of that, I know you’ll get done whatever needs to be done out there. Anyway, this is getting long and my head hurts from thinking too hard. Even if you don’t ever forgive me, I’ll always consider you a friend, and if I ever get the chance to repay some of your selflessness, I’ll do my best. Thanks again. Ethan.

Alister stared at the words.

A better man than I’ve ever met. You’re a hero. Selflessness. A hero. A hero, was he? After letting yet another innocent person die? The letter shook in his hands. He was far from a hero. According to Yuri’s perception of what made Baudouin corrupt, he was the same as the so-called king. Then why did Yuri kill the Defender? Doesn’t that make it wrong, by his own definition?

“—can’t disguise ourselves to look like another member of his family, let alone pick the lock to his door! Not to mention now we only have one proper fighter.”

“We still have a day to figure it out. I could be the one to visit Seniro, and learn how to pick the lock tonight.”

“But then Alister will have to be arrested. I can learn about the locks and disguise myself, and that way the two of you can break in.”

“You’re needed for the illusion. Alister can visit Seniro.”

“Why did Ren betray us? She decided it was out the question the day she met us!”

“Dwelling on that won’t help us now.”

“Do you think she said something to Alister before she left? If he ever—”

Alister stood, and Mirielle trailed off. His fist scrunched the letter into a ball, and he stared at the two of them furiously. “You’re discussing how to break in? Don’t you care we just killed a man?”

Mirielle’s eyebrows flew up. “He would’ve killed you, otherwise! And we need to figure out how—”

“He’s dead!” Alister slammed the letter onto the table. “Another innocent person, dead! He was a Defender, sure, but don’t you think he would’ve had a family? A life? He could’ve had children who won’t see him come home tonight! Don’t you care about a human life?”

Yuri took a step forward, a hand raised. “Alister, calm down.”

“I’ll not calm down until you acknowledge what you did! We’re supposed to be doing what’s right, and now we’re killing anyone who gets in our way? Isn’t that exactly why you hate Baudouin?” Yuri’s eyebrows twitched upwards in surprise. “That’s right. You claim to hate him because he uses any means to achieve his goals, but didn’t we just do the same thing? Doesn’t that make us just as twisted as him? Or does it not matter, as long as we say we’re the ones fighting for what’s right? What’s the point, if it all leads to more death? Should we just abandon any hope of doing what’s right, then? Let’s all just stab each other in the back and tell the Defenders what we’re doing because we lost our beloved job! Because jobs are more important than loyalty and common sense! Let’s kill whosoever comes in our way with knives! Let’s kill all the guards at the prison, for that matter, and while we’re at it, kill Baudouin himself! Who cares?”

He glared at them. “I, for one, do care about the way we act. We can’t just betray each other and let violence rule our decisions! And the two of you just moved on as if it was no big deal? What’s wrong with you both? The Divine hide his eyes from you should you continue down this path.”

He stormed to the door, ignoring their protests, and slammed it behind him. Passages to Ren’s house in Furdier burned into his memory from all of the walks between the districts they did.

What was wrong with them? What’s wrong with me?

He reached the familiar door with twenty-three in bronze above the handle, and smashed his fist against it four times.

“Ren!” No answer came, so he thumped the door again. “Open this door!” Every passing second grated at his nerves, until it was clear Ren was either out or too cowardly to answer the door to face him.

“You’ll have to come to the door eventually.” He paced back and forth, rehearsing what he would say to her when she showed her face. You could’ve cost us all our lives, and as it stands, you cost the life of one of those Defenders. His frown deepened. I don’t care if you lost your job, that’s no excuse to betray us. I thought you ruled that out when you decided to help? You don’t think about anyone but yourself, and you certainly don’t think about what’s best for the Union…

He went through his speech countless times as the hours wore on. For once, he held tight to his rage instead of suppressing it. He was in no mood to forgive. But as midday came and went, it became clear she wasn’t going to return or open the door anytime soon.

His expression as he stalked back was fierce enough, Deemstun’s inhabitants averted their gaze, and Defender’s suspicious eyes followed him.

As he walked, he cooled off enough to realise he would need to apologise for his behaviour. Guilt from the Defender’s death and shock from Ren’s betrayal still contorted his expression with fury, but he was madder at himself than Yuri or Ren, and not just for being so consumed by his anger.

He turned into the Reltanine square and sat on a bench at the edge with a frustrated sigh.

Ethan called him a hero, but he was far from it. Unable to volunteer to be arrested, unable to consider how his actions might harm others, and unable to forget the things which haunted him. He thought he’d shaken the guilt from the incident in Rindor, but based on his reaction to the Defender’s death, it clearly affected him more than he realised. Then what will make it go away?

“Alister.”

He raised his head out of his hands, and when he recognised Yuri, looked down again in silence.

“Do you mind if I sit down?”

Alister shifted to the right of the bench in response. Yuri sat next to him for a full minute without saying a word. The sting of the dagger’s cuts made itself known, and he wiped lines of blood from his cheek, arm, and leg. He stared at his reddened hands and opened his mouth.

“You meant to kill that Defender, didn’t you?” He knew the answer. Nobody accidentally landed a knife between the eyes.

“Yes.”

Alister drew a shaky breath. “Why?”

“He was going to kill you.”

“But I could’ve blocked him. He could’ve been aiming to knock me unconscious. Or you could’ve just hit him with the hilt to knock him out. Don’t pretend like that was the only way you could’ve stopped him.”

“I could see he aimed to kill, not maim. I was a Defender. I know what he was doing. You would’ve been dead in the seconds it took me to reach you and help. I couldn’t be sure a hilt would successfully knock him unconscious.”

“It’s not just that. You hate Baudouin, and his Defenders. I see the way you talk about this city.”

Yuri paused. “Yes.”

Nothing could justify taking a life.

“I’d like to tell you why, Alister.”

His laugh was empty. “Go ahead.”