The Misbegotten

[He is furious now, intent on getting through the most agonizing part of his youth. He has to find answers. His cousin is missing. He is out of time.]

“So, tell me, Steve, how was it?” demanded Ramona, the instant I opened my eyes.

I blinked rapidly to rid my mind of sleep, attempting to clear if from the tailings of a dream. My vision improved enough to see my girlfriend’s head hovering above me. She had one eyebrow raised higher than the other, a sardonic smirk spread across her face.

“How was what?” I asked, my voice gruff. I sat up on my elbows, seeing I had slept at the foot of the bed again. After finishing my late-night talk with Tirza, there must’ve been no room left at the upper reaches of the bed.

Ramona propped herself on her elbows too, although she was lying on her stomach whereas I was most of the way on my back. Her hair was akimbo, but pulled back in an elastic scrunchie. Her broad face and grey eyes belied, she too had just awakened. She was wearing light, cotton pajama set, sleeveless with short bottoms. It was plain white with dark, paisley stitching throughout.

She edged her way closer to me on her elbows. Her full breasts rubbed together as they bounced from side to side with her movements, so delicious. “How was Tirza? Did you do her sitting on the toilet or did you lie her down in the bathtub? Or… did you guys do it standing up? Was she facing you or did you get her from behind.” Her voice was light-hearted, but her eyes were too icy and the tone was disingenuous.

I guess the thought of Tirza and I being together bothered her. This might strike one as odd, since she was sharing me with three other girls already. But Ramona always had a strange territorial methodology, one I had come to understand during our time as a couple. She liked to be the one to choose, the one in-charge of what was “ok” and “wasn’t ok”. It’s sort of simple when you think of it in those terms. She was diplomatic as long as it involved her.

I sighed and wiped at my eyes, feeling the grit beneath my fingertips. “It was nothing like that, Mona. We were just talking, confessing, if you want to hang a sign on it.”

I reached out and touched her wrist, discerning the contact would open my mind to her. It wasn’t a huge leap of deductive reasoning on my part. Ramona’s mutation had been strengthening along with the rest of ours. She could see things in an uncooperative mind now. So, this wasn’t about power or ability. It was about clarity. I wanted her to see the night before with the same resolution as I had, in full ultra-high definition. I wanted her to feel it.

Within a blink of her eye, the softness chipped and fell away from her face, leaving behind an inner mask of intense focus. I played the events of earlier that morning in my mind, with purpose. I gazed into her eyes, watching the truth of my memories dawn across her visage. I could feel a tingling sensation spread about the crown of my head.

Still, she delved deeper into my thoughts, asking for every nuance of what transpired in the bathroom.

I let her. I was happy to show her the unbridled hurt and bitterness between Tirza and me. I even included the inescapability of our feelings for one another. The fact Tirza and I still loved each other was something she had to know, something she would have to grow to accept. I had promised my ex-girlfriend I would never leave her side. It was a promise I intended to keep.

“Told you,” I said just above hearing, a few minutes later, when she finally withdrew from my consciousness.

She blinked back remorseful tears. “Sorry, Effy, I didn’t know things were that bad between the two of you. There was so much left unsaid and all.” Her voice lost volume as she lost the conviction to keep speaking.

“It’s not like I told you much about it, my dear, so don’t be too hard on yourself,” I said trying to be nonchalant. I glanced about the Loft, realizing only Ramona and I were in the large chamber.

“Maybe that’s why I was so jealous of her,” admitted the vivacious teen at my side, “because you didn’t talk about her all that much.”

I half-smiled for her benefit, but my mind was elsewhere. “Where is everyone?”

She took the scrunchie from her hair and shook her head from side to side, making her hair fan out about her. “The girls are in the bathroom. Your brother and sister and Jolene went to their rooms to freshen up. So, that just leaves you and –.”

I never heard what she said next. Before I could do anything other than sit there struck dumb with shock, the door leading to the Loft opened.

My mother walked in, about to tell me something.

I had no more than a split-second to realize she was still in her pink, threadbare robe she wore around the house on the weekends.

Then it dawned on me, this was a Saturday! What the fuck was I going to do?

She stopped as though a bolt of lightning had struck her from above. Her mouth opened in a silent “O”. Her eyes were wide, taking her a second to realize Ramona and I were half-naked, lying across the bed.

Our positions were so compromising; I could tell in an instant, she knew we were having sex. And, she knew we'd been doing it or some time.

Ramona trailed off, following my gaze. She sucked in her breath the moment her eyes fell upon my mom. She spun around like a top, coming to sit as chaste as she could manage in the scanty nightclothes she wore.

“Ramona! Estefan!” were the only two words my mother managed to say.

Just then, the girls emerged from then bathroom, talking animated and loud. They were still in their pajamas, none of them wearing underwear.

My mom had eyes like a hawk. There was no way she would miss that detail.

There was a collective gasp from them.

A deafening, “What is going on here?” came from my mother. She was glaring from them before the threshold of the bathroom door to me and Ramona on the bed, fire in her eyes.

“Mom!” I shouted, astonished I was able to make any sound. I felt like Darth Vader¹ was strangling me with his Force Choke², unbridled malice constricting my throat.

She turned on me, her fists balled at her sides. “I asked you a question, what is going on here?” she repeated through clenched teeth.

“It’s not what it looks like, mom.” (Even though it was precisely what it looked) “They all have good reason for being here, I promise.” This was my goof-ball attempt at mollifying her line of thought.

“If it’s not what it looks like, then why are you girls dressed like this around my son?” She took the time to glower at each one of them. She made them squirm where they stood, making them blush beat red. “Ramona, you know better than that. We’ve talked about things like this. I told you what I expected of you. I don’t like this!”

My girlfriend dropped her head to stare in her lap. She might be many things, but more than anything she was respectful to those who respected her.

“Mom, it’s not that big of a deal, ok.” I knew I was venturing onto thin ice, but what else could I do?

“Estefan, stop right now,” she wheeled on me like a banshee. “I told you too what I expect from you.” She was pointing at me know. “I don’t want to be grandmother this early.”

We all groaned with agonized embarrassment, no one more chagrined than me. I could feel my face flushing with heat, and knew full well I as red as the girls. I guess you could say we were acting a little hypocritical, seeing we’d all been anxious for a little action. But then, I can’t honestly say none of us thought about making a baby when we were fucking, because… Well, we were fucking like stupid, immature brats. We didn’t think of the consequences of unprotected sex. At least I didn’t. Once Ramona got on the “Depo” Shot³, it was out of mind completely.

Before then, we used the ole’ “pullout method”. I had perfected it, because I had a good deal of practice. Plus, half the time Ramona liked me to spooge on her tits or in her mouth when she finished me off with one of her patented blow-jobs. Making a baby never crossed my mind.

Tirza had been my lover before Ramona and she’d been on the pill. It was the first sacrilegious thing she had done in her life – or so she said – because condoms gave her rashes. This condition had left us with two options, stop having sex or get her on the pill.

Feeling magnanimous, I had let Tirza decide.

After nine days of her jerking me off and me twiddling my tongue between her pink labia’s was proof enough. She made an appointment at Planned Parenthood4. She got on the pill. Because, like she had told me earlier that morning, she liked fucking me. Of that, I was glad – very glad indeed.

Thank you, Tirza, from the bottom of my nut sack.

I knew Katie was on the Shot as well, so the idea of us creating a life was inconsequential. I had blown my load into her a few times weeks before without a single notion my sperm would find a viable ovum. I remembered how hard it had been for me to walk the following day. I had emptied my balls into Katie that morning.

I almost smiled when I realized my mother had been watching me the entire time.

Then, her gaze went back to Ramona. Her face was stern, her mouth set to one side as she digested a new reality. It was one she didn’t like in the least.

We had confirmed without speaking the first thought she’d had when she stepped into Loft unannounced. We had done so with our body language.

She knew for certain – Ramona and I were having sex. She filled her chest with air, frowning even deeper when she saw Tirza.

My poor ex-girlfriend was shuffling from foot to foot next to the three taller girls with extreme nervousness.

My mother motioned for me to approach her, which I did like a dutiful son.

I prayed she wasn’t going to do anything rash like tell me I couldn’t go out with Ramona anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my mother with all my heart, but if she went there she was in for a rude awakening.

Besides, I wasn’t dating just Ramona anymore.

“We will talk later of you and Ramona, Estefan, but you will answer me right now what I am going to ask you.” She clenched her jaw tight enough that her lips did not seem to move.

“Okay.”

“Are you using protection?” Her eyes were like twin daggers. Thank God, she had the tact to keep her voice down. My mama might be old-fashion in some areas, but even in situations such as this, she too was respectful of our feelings. Though she could be strict, she enforced it with a light hand.

“Yes, ma, Ramona is on the Shot,” I answered, my voice as low as I could make it and still be heard.

She nodded, curt. “Good.” She huffed, crossed her arms under her bosom and shook her head at me, and then shot a furtive glance at Ramona. “Well, I guess it was bound to happen,” she muttered more to herself than to me.

I didn’t respond. I mean, what could I’ve said? Yeah, mom, Ramona’s fucking hot, so you had to know I would try and tap that ass. No, I don’t think so.

“Does her mother know?”

My eyes just about popped out of my head. “No!”

“From your reaction, it sounds to me that if she found out it could pose a serious problem for you, eh?” She raised her brow to reinforce the point she was making.

“Yeah.” I shrugged.

My mother drifted in her thoughts for almost a full minute. “Okay, well, I’ll keep it secret for now. But, you are going to have to come clean soon, young man, especially now that I know. I’m obligated to tell her mother, you do realize that don’t you?”

I nodded, grateful and apprehensive at the same time. Fuck, I didn’t want to tell that fat bitch a god damned thing! This was going to suck big, huge hairy balls. I could already feel it deep down in my gut.

“Aside for the fact that you and Ramona are… are… well you know,” she waved her hand in the air, blushing.

I felt my stomach twist with discomfiture. I never expected to have a discussion like this with my mother this soon in life. If I’d been forty, maybe things would’ve been easier for the both of us – maybe.

“Is there a legitimate reason why all these girls are staying overnight with you? I know I told you the other night they could stay. And you told me only Jolene and Tirza, which in itself was a little weird. I know Jolene is Flavia’s friend, but Tirza…? Haven’t the two of you fighting for some time now?”

I nodded like lame duck.

“Estefan what’s going on? This is too confusing.” Despite having learned things she had dreaded learning for the last few years, my mother looked concerned.

“I can’t tell you the whole story, mom. I don’t want you or Dad, or the little ones to get hurt,” I replied circumventing her question.

She was scowling again, not liking my answer one bit. “What are you talking about, Effy? Have you guys been something you’re not supposed to be doing? Drugs? Shoplifting?”

“No, mom, it’s nothing like that. Nothing like that at all, I promise.” I was almost smirking. I wouldn’t have worried at all if this whole fucking thing had only been about something as insignificant as that. Getting busted for distribution of narcotics or stealing from the local liquor store was Child’s Play now.

“Then what is it, son?”

“I can’t tell you.” I started to explain again when I thought hit me out of nowhere. I reached out and touched her arm lightly, careful not to hurt her with my ever-hardening body. “You remember what we were watching when you said it was okay for a few of my friends to stay the night?”

She went stone-faced, searching her memory, cocking her head to one side, then, “The news.”

I bobbed my head up and down. “Exactly.”

She thought for a few moments longer. Her hand came to her mouth of a sudden and she grabbed me by the side of the shoulder, squeezing. “You’re involved with the crackdown on Muto’s?”

“Trying to stay out of it would be a better way of putting it, but yeah, some of the girls’ families became involved,” I replied. I wasn’t speaking to the fact that we all were Muto’. Or that some of us were already fugitives from of the NIA – armed and dangerous fugitives no less. I wanted to give her a basic understanding of what this game was about. But there was no way I was going to be specific.

She leaned back, letting go of my arm, her eyes fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird. They were moving so fast. “Shit,” was all she uttered.

I took a quick gander around the Loft.

No one had moved a muscle; they were all watching us intently.

Ramona had come to stand at the side of the bed closest to me and my mother, concerned about her status with my mom.

I gave her a worn smile. I nodded imperceptively, sending her thoughts belying calm and confidence.

She blinked back relieved tears as she read my mind. She knew my mother could’ve thrown her out of her house if she chose to do so.

“Okay, okay, it is what it is. We are a strong family and we will deal with it, even if it means our family will have to grow form the time being.” She shuddered with what looked like raw trepidation. When she peered back at me, her face was full of many conflicting emotions. There was no way I could understand what she was thinking.

“I won’t let anything happen to any of us, mama, I promise.” I’d said the exact same thing, as a little boy, when my father threatened to come back and beat the living shit out of her.

She hadn’t forgotten. She reached up and stroked my cheek. “I know, my sweet boy, I know.” Her gaze flickered to the others in the room as her hand descended to her hip. She rested her hand there, shifting her weight to one foot. “Well, ladies, since you are all here and seem to be staying for a while, I suppose you will all be hungry soon. So, get cleaned up, straighten up in here - if you don’t mind - and come down and help me with breakfast.

Concerned faces began to crack.

“AND!”

She stopped us cold.

It was an afterthought she emphasized by pointing around the Loft. “No funny business.” She was arching her brows again.

In spite of ourselves, a few of us had to hide betraying grins by thinning our lips or biting them.

She pointed at me last. “Don’t tell your Dad about this just yet. I will find a way to broche the subject with him myself, ok? He’s gone out to help you uncle Juan fix his car, so we’ll have some time to figure things out.” Uncle Juan was one of my step-dad’s older brothers.

“Sounds good to me.”

She turned to leave.

I let out a breath I hadn’t known I’d been holding, feeling light-headed. I must’ve forgotten to breathe during the entire exchange.

“Oh!” exclaimed my mother, spinning on her heel. “The little ones are sick today,” she began rolling her eyes, overwhelmed by the twist of events. “That’s why I came up in the first place. I was going to tell you, I’m going to need some help today taking care of them. Since I have sooo many more of you around, I expect excellent help in that department, cool?”

“Sure, auntie,” piped Katie.

“No problem, Mrs. Ernando,” agreed Leda.

The others nodded, willing to anything that would end the conversation.

She looked over at Leda. “And call me, Pat. Ok, ladies?”

There were more nods all around.

Then, she walked back toward me, which surprised me. She kissed me on the cheek. “Why do I love you so much?”

“Because, I’m yours,” I supplied at once.

There was a gleam in her eyes. “Now I know why these little tarts like you so much.” She smiled and chuffed with mirth. “Have you been lifting weights, Effy?”

“Why would you say that, mom?”

“Because when I touch you, you’re hard as rock. I don’t remember your muscles being that dense before.”

I raised my shoulders toward my ears and kept them there, filling my face with mock rigor-mortis.

“Oh well,” she said and waved the question out of existence with her hand. “See you all downstairs in a few.” And she was gone.

“I have never been more scared in my life, Effy,” said Ramona as she rushed into my arms. She crushed her breasts against my chest. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if she had told me to leave.” My girlfriend was shaking with fright.

“I know, baby girl, I know,” I murmured into her ear, kissing her, making her calm down.

Well, one hurdle down… only about a thousand to go until this whole thing blows over.

Little did I know it would be years and years later before it would all finally fade away into nothing. By then, everything would be different – none more than me.

Oh god, why did Martín and Lucia have to get sick too!

{ ¹Darth Vader: fictional character, whose real name is Anakin Skywalker; the main protagonist of the Star Warssaga, appearing as one of the main antagonists of the original trilogy and as one of the main protagonists of the prequel trilogy. }

{ ²Force Choke: referencing an ability of the Sith Lords in the Star Wars saga, wherein a Sith uses the Force to choke his victim. }

{ ³“Depo” Shot: slang for the 20th century contraceptive, depot medroxyprogesterone acetate (DMPA), a long acting reversiblehormonalbirth control drug injected every 3 months.

{ 4Planned Parenthood: is short for Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA), a non-profit organizationprovidingreproductive health and maternal and child health services. }