The Metatronic Chronicles: A Minor Inconvenience

When midnight rolled around, it was ten o’clock in Los Angeles and both young angels were hovering over the San Fernando Valley trying to remember just which house was Derasthe’s. It hadn’t been hard to retrace their flight from the previous evening that far, but both had forgotten to note down the actual street address of the place. Now they were dodging incoming flights to the Burbank and Van Nuys airports while trying to remember exactly where Asmodeus had taken them.

“I swear it was near that mountain,” Daniel kept saying, pointing to Mount Wilson. “Right? Didn’t it have a lot of TV transmitters on it?”

“No, it was in Beverly Hills, wasn’t it?” Michael was looking around, desperately trying to determine one area from another. He knew that Derasthe was watching them to see if they could find it on their own and it would not be a good thing for him to have to lead them in. “But I know there was a freeway below the house somewhere. And I saw a piece of mail lying in on his desk while we were there. The street name started with a C, that’s one thing I remember. It was Spanish C…C-ay….” He wracked his brain trying to remember it but the archangel inside him was being as stubborn as Derasthe and not letting him have it easily. “Cielo! Cielo Drive!”

“Well that helps—where in hell is Cielo Drive?” Daniel shot back.

“I have an idea. Be quiet!” Michael said and began trying to concentrate on the valley below. A few seconds later, he whooped and did a quick barrel roll. “I’ve got it! Follow me!”

Moments later they were approaching the large deck outside Derasthe’s house and the owner himself was standing there waiting for them. “Very good,” he said as they landed gently in the darkness. “You did well to get to the Valley but I had my doubts as to whether you would find the house again. How did you do it?”

“I cheated a bit,” Michael answered. “I remembered a piece of mail I saw lying in your living room had your address on it. At least I hoped it was your address. When we were in the sky above the valley, I just expanded my telepathic reception to an area where I was fairly sure the house was. Then I just tuned in on a few people there…. and the presence of an angel pretty much flew out at me. It was easy from there on to track you down.”

“Ah ha, so it was me you found, and not the house,” Derasthe nodded, leading them inside. “Very good. But we will work more on your navigational skills.”

He sat down in a large heavy chair and indicated that the two boys should do the same, and then continued. “When you are seeking angels, it is easy to find us when we want to be found, but when we don’t, it gets much trickier. It is good to be able to just look at a given area and simply know it. There are usually humans who have the knowledge in populated areas, such as police officers or park rangers, who you can ‘copy’ the knowledge from without them knowing. You can also ‘scan’ an area for signs of life and topographical details, which I will teach you to do. Eventually, you will know the entire planet so well that this will only be necessary when something has changed radically.”

“You said we had a mission tonight,” Michael said, wanting to know more. “Do we often get these missions?”

“Yes. Being an angel is not just flying around, making babies and doing anything else you want. You do have certain responsibilities here and from time to time Asmodeus will give you an assignment. For newbies like yourselves, these can usually be accomplished in an evening, or even an hour or two. More experienced angels like myself can be can be sent on long-term missions, even off the planet for a period of time.” He paused for a moment, and then continued. “You should know right now, up front, that the majority of these missions, even the short-term ones, would involve killing.”

Somehow this didn’t surprise Michael but Daniel seemed taken aback. “Killing is wrong,” Daniel said. “How can angels be involved with killing? Killing what? People, animals…what?”

“Usually people,” Derasthe answered. “No, we aren’t superheroes flying around saving the day. That is not our job. But sometimes there needs to be what is often called a ‘purging’. A sour apple or two…or maybe a few dozen or so…needs to be taken out of the basket. I am not saying that we right wrongs or take revenge, though that is not strictly forbidden—we simply try to even the odds a little. And yes, we do take sides in a war but only as assigned. We don ’t participate in human wars unless specifically instructed to do so or if we are in human form. And if you see a damsel in distress,” he smiled brightly. “You are certainly allowed to take action to save her.”

“This sounds like fun!” Michael suddenly said, shocking his brother. “Can we chop heads off?”

“If you wish,” Derasthe nodded. “Your sword makes a very efficient head-removal tool.”

Michael glanced over at Daniel and saw his brother’s shocked look. “What?” he shrugged. “I won’t chop heads off unless I’m supposed to.”

Daniel struggled a bit with his brother’s callous attitude toward killing. Inside him, the angel Daniel was also fighting to take heads off but the teenager with aspirations to the priesthood, however brief, was fighting it. “I can’t go and just kill people!” he finally said, his voice tight with shock. “I’m no killer! How can you even say such a thing! It’s crazy! We’ll go to hell!”

“If you go to hell, it will only be to work a shift or two, I promise you,” Derasthe said, taking his concerns seriously. “But angels do kill, particularly war angels, which is what we are. In some ways we are organized very much like an army. When we are on missions, we form battle groups like squads, platoons, battalions, divisions, with commanding angels. I myself command a battalion of thousands when we are fighting. But even though we are not fighting now, we still have our duties to do and this is among them.” Derasthe’s voice grew deeper and more commanding. “ You don’t have a choice, Daniel. Asmodeus has given us this work to do and as your squadron commander tonight, I am leading this mission and you will follow my orders.”

Somewhere in Daniel came the urge to stand up, click his heels together and salute with a vigorous ‘Javohl, mein herr!’, but he didn’t. Instead he just nodded and growled, “yes, Derasthe.”

Derasthe relaxed again. “Very good. Leila will be joining us on this mission, so I’m sure that will please you. “ Both boys’ ears perked up. “But unlike earlier this evening, she will not be taking time out for unrelated activities,” he continued, smiling when he saw both boys’ obvious disappointment. “But what she does on her own time is strictly her business. Of course, she only deals with buck privates like you when necessary.”

“Can I ask a question?” Daniel said and when he got permission, went on. “How does she afford to live in a penthouse apartment? That is where you said she lived—on the top floor of some fancy hotel?”

“I did say that. She lives in the penthouse of the Wilshire Plaza Hotel in Santa Monica, on the beach of course. And she also has a beach house not far from there. As to where she gets her money, I leave that for her to answer.”

A call came from the deck and another angel came in for a landing on it—Leila had arrived. “Hello!” she said cheerfully as she entered the room, no longer naked but wearing a pair of shorts carved from old blue jeans and cut very high along with a long white silk scarf knotted strategically into a halter-top. It didn’t do a thing to hide her beautiful breasts and her dark well-stretched nipples poked nearly through the thin fabric. “I’m glad to see you two recovered and doing well! Michael!” She got his attention with a long golden blade drawn from nowhere and tossed it to him hilt first. “This is yours. I found it in storage—you must have left with me for safekeeping for some reason. Derasthe, did they have a problem finding you?”

“Only momentarily, but we are going to work on that,” Derasthe answered, rising to give her a brief, longing kiss. “You look spectacular. I don’t see how I can keep my hands off you tonight.”

“Don’t shock the kids, Derasthe,” Leila said, pushing him gently away. “They’ll think I do this for a living. Boys, I heard your question and I can assure you that I came by my money honestly. I found it.”

“Found it?” Michael echoed, wanting so much to put his hands on her and more himself. “Found it where?” The sword’s hilt grew hot in his hand.

“In the Caribbean. I grew up in Cuba and used to go diving for wrecks when I was human, which was long before Castro, I might add. I spotted the wreck of a Spanish galleon in international waters when I was a teenager and couldn’t reach it. I never told anyone, thinking that somehow some way I would go back and explore it to see what it held. That day came a few months after I got my wings and I went back. It held…” She glanced at Derasthe. “A lot of gold coins—more than has been found before or since. And I got it! It was my father who helped me claim it legally and though on paper, I officially ‘salvaged’ the wreck, I actually just plowed down into it, removed the coins and arranged to sell them in Europe. I put the money in a Swiss bank, invested some and here I am today.”

“So you’re Cuban?” Daniel asked. “That’s really interesting! I’ve never met a Cuban before!”

“You’ve never been to Florida, have you?” she grinned. “My father was a Carib Indian, my mother a descendent of Spanish Royalty. If Spain still had a monarch, I’d be fifteenth in line for it! Of course, there would not be much likelihood of me being queen,” she winked at Derasthe. “Unless of course I assassinated my way up to it.”

“Some nice cousin you are!” Derasthe admonished her, grinning. “We don’t kill our relatives for a crown, boys, remember that.”

“Anyway, my father was a banker and my mother was a socialite who threw a lot of parties until Batista was defeated and Castro took over. We lost everything in Cuban banks but Castro didn’t know about what I had stashed away in Europe. I managed to smuggle my entire family—my parents, two sisters, a brother, six cousins, three aunts, two uncles and several nieces and nephews—out of Cuba on a 40 foot yacht with black sails that I bought in France. That thing could fly but Cuban navy gunboats chased us and I had to leave the boat to protect my family. Try to explain that one! I disappear, the gunboats disappear, and then I reappear.”

“Doesn’t your family know about you?” Daniel asked.

“Know that I’m an angel? My father did. He passed away a few years back but he was a hard one to shock. I’m sure it did initially but he got used to the idea and with Asmodeus’ help even grew to embrace the idea. My mother never did know though, bless her heart. She was a staunch Catholic and I think having an angelic daughter would have been too much for her. The rest of my family…” She shrugged. “I was the youngest by ten years. By the time I got my wings, my sisters and brother had grown up and had families of their own. I just never wanted to complicate their lives that way. Besides, if I needed someone to talk to, I had Asmodeus and my father. Oh and later on, Derasthe here and several other angels on this world that you haven’t met yet. One shock at a time, you know.”

Michael wanted to ask about the other angels, but Daniel cut him off.

“You grew up Catholic?” Daniel felt hope lighting in his heart. “So are you still?”

“I haven’t been to church in a long time,” she smiled apologetically. “I used to be pretty hardcore but over the years, my feelings for the church have kind of melted into a fondness for something I had growing up. I’m not religious now.” She felt sorry for Daniel, knowing that releasing his religious beliefs was going to be very difficult for him.

“So you speak Spanish?” Michael asked. “Habla español?”

“Sì, hablo español, inglés, alemán, italiano y muchos más. Ustedes hablan muchas idiomas también.,” Leila answered. “Pueden ustedes entendermé?”

The two young angels looked at each other. “Of course we understand you,” Daniel answered. “You’re speaking English or are you?”

“I was speaking Spanish,” Leila laughed. “Don’t worry. For now you will understand and translate to English. Eventually you will just understand and speak like a native. You won’t even notice too much when you have to switch languages. It will just come naturally.”

“Wow!” Daniel couldn’t believe his ears. “I took a couple years of Spanish in high school too but my comprehension was never that good. I understood you perfectly.”

“And people accuse us Cubans of talking too fast to be understood,” she nodded. “Get used to being wowed, being an angel is—despite all its hazards and surprises—is actually quite wonderful.” Leila spread her wings, pulled a long glittering silver broadsword from nowhere and swung it around her head a couple of times. “I’m anxious to get going. Derasthe says we have some work to do and then we’ll get in some training. Are you up for it?”

“Daniel is hesitant,” Derasthe said dryly from his comfy chair. “I believe he thinks we’re about to commit a mortal sin.”

“Daniel,” Leila put her sword aside and leaned in close to the young angel. “Just come along. If you don’t want to participate, you don’t have to, but you do have to watch. It’s part of your training.”

She touched his arm and somehow, his fear seemed to drain away but it didn’t take away the objection. “I’ll come,” he said. “But let me judge for myself whether I want to become this killer angel. If I don’t, what will happen to me?”

“You would be reassigned away from this world,” Derasthe said quickly. “Because you would not be able to do your job here. Maybe you would be assigned to the guardian angel corps. I understand your guardian angel has been reassigned there as well—there’s no need for a war angel to have one—and you could meet her. Then together you could look silently after mortal beings for the rest of your eternal lives. But you wouldn’t have to kill.”

That didn’t sound much better. To be torn away from his brother and his family would be torture and to spend an eternity in silence looking over people who weren’t even sure he was there was a miserable prospect. “So, I have to choose between murder and my family?”

Leila took him gently by the arm and drew close. “Give it a chance. I’m not saying that going around killing people is something to enjoy, but in our case, we choose our targets very carefully. You will not regret this mission, I promise you. And sometimes it can be very satisfying, especially knowing that taking a few lives will save countless others. Come with us—see what it’s about.” She looked over at Michael. “Are you hesitant too?”

Michael just shrugged. “I don’t have a problem with it. But I don’t want to lose Daniel either, so what are my options?”

“Unfortunately if you refused because of Daniel, you would both be reassigned with another angel found to guard Metatron,” Derasthe answered. “Your parents would be told of course, but I don’t think they would be very proud of your stance. James is well aware of what we are and what we do. We are not in some stained glass window looking dourly down on people in some church--we are flesh and blood working angels with a job to do.”

Michael glanced over at his brother. “Sorry Daniel, I can’t foist Alice on a stranger. Come on, maybe it will be all right.”

Slowly Daniel rose and from nowhere came his own shining broadsword. “I’ll go. But I can’t guarantee that I can do what you want.”

The rest of the group rose to join him, each drawing a deadly looking broadsword from nothingness and they gathered in a circle. “We always do one thing before we leave on a mission,” Derasthe said. “Cross your swords in the center of the circle.”

Mystified, the boys did as they were told and Leila laid her gleaming weapon atop the crossing. “Sursum corda!” Derasthe laughed. “Lift up your hearts and let’s go get the bastards.” With a theatrical flourish, he took off directly from the living room, going through the open French doors and up into the sky, his small death squad coming along behind him one by one. The last one, Daniel, watched the rest go for a second, dwindling away into the dark sky, then he too let his wings lift him upward to follow along. What the night would bring was a mystery but he did want to be there when it unfolded.

Moments later they were two miles above the Pacific Ocean heading down the coast of the Baja Peninsula of Mexico. Below were shining beaches, lots of sailboats, some modern hotels and even a casino or two. It was a tourist’s paradise and Daniel wondered what could be so terrible about a place like this. They soared past all that however and eventually the beaches turned rough and rocky, dense vegetation growing thickly behind them. There were still structures here and there—plantations, small factories, villages, but nothing any tourist would care to visit unless of course, he was up to something illegal.

Derasthe seemed to be reading his mind. “This is a quick mission, just a few people to dispatch,” Derasthe telepathed to everyone. “Leila, I know you’re going to like this even if our two young apprentices don’t. We’re going after slavers, people who steal people and sell them. In this case, the targets are usually women and they sold into prostitution where many of them get killed. The Mexican police have sought these people for years but graft and corruption have kept them safe. They are now about to not be safe anymore.”

Daniel heard a whoop and saw Leila grinning with anticipation, her sword at the ready. “Are we going to just fly in there and skewer them?” he quickly asked.

“We will give them one chance to surrender. If they take it, I will transport them to the authorities and Leila will make sure they can’t buy their way out of it. She can afford the best attorneys in the world and they will go to bat for these women. The scum will be imprisoned for life or possibly executed. If they don’t take it, then Leila gets the first shot as abuse of women is a pet peeve of hers,” Derasthe answered. “She will show you how it is done.”

“I hope they don’t surrender,” Leila interjected. “I want some blood tonight. Remember boys, never ever piss off a woman.”

“Tell me about it,” Michael answered. “So how far are we from this place?”

“We are here!” Derasthe veered downward and stopped to hover at about a thousand feet. “Those buildings down there next to a little landing strip near that cove are our targets. They take their victims in larger cities, usually in congested areas like shopping centers, outdoor markets and so on where no one will notice. They drug them, and then take them by bus, car, rail or even planes to this spot and ship them out to other countries. About two in five of the ladies die on route because they wake up and resist or try to escape, while another one will probably die during shipping. That means for every five taken, only an average of two ever get where they are going. There are dozens of unmarked shallow graves dotting the inland roadways here and sometimes they don’t even bother with that. They just toss the bodies into the forest and keep going.” Derasthe paused for theatrical effect. “Asmodeus tells me that today there is some kind of meeting and all of the people who do the grabbing are present in the building—a total of about twenty-five including the three guys who arrange the sales and shipping. It’s a chance to cut many heads off this hydra.”

Daniel was shocked. He had never heard of such a thing happening in a so-called civilized world. “Are you sure they’re kidnappers?” he asked. “That seems so barbaric! How does Asmodeus know about this? If it’s true, how can the police just ignore it?”

“Asmodeus knows about it because finding scum like this and gathering the information about them is part of his job. They pay the police to ignore it, but now things are going to change for them,” Derasthe answered, glancing over at Leila. “Our dear friend here is going to go down and give them one last chance. If they don’t take it, she will signal us and we go down to clean house.”

Leila took the cue and went gliding down to see what was going on down in the complex of buildings below. She landed out of sight amid a few trees and took a look around in the darkness. No one was moving outside but a scan of the building revealed a group meeting in progress. It also revealed the presence of at least eight women of varying ages in a locked room. “Bastards,” she muttered to herself as she underwent transformation from angry war angel to a blue-jeaned tourist complete with battered wide-brimmed straw hat, sunglasses, Versace sandals and Gucci purse hanging from her shoulder. She gathered her thick black locks back in to a clasp taken from her purse, and then sauntered toward the main building to knock on the door.

There was some commotion inside as the group quickly dispersed and took defensive positions behind furniture and columns. A lone man approached the door and opened it to reveal a statuesque woman of apparent means, looking disheveled and frightened. “I’m sorry to bother you,” she said in her lyrical Spanish. “But I was going down to San Lucas with my boyfriend when our vehicle broke down. I wonder if you have a telephone we could use.”

The man looked at her for a moment and then smiled. “My name is Manuel,” he said, stepping back so she could enter the building. “You can certainly use our phone. Perhaps one of our people can help your boyfriend get your vehicle going again?”

She stepped in and watched him close the door then took off her hat and shook her hair loose. “Oh no, that’s not necessary,” she said, looking around. She noted the people in hiding, guns ready for trouble. “So, where’s the phone?”

“It’s right here, Señorita,” Manuel said, putting a gun at her back. His friends came out from hiding, most of them grinning. “We’re going to get a nice price for you! Imagine something like you just walking in here—what a nice bonus!”

“A bonus?” Leila echoed, looking down at the gun in her back and more than a dozen pointing at her from various points in the room. “What are you talking about?”

“What about the boyfriend?” one of the other men asked. “What do we do with him?”

“We’ll find him and kill him. Drag the vehicle into the trees and dump it in a ravine. No one will find it there or even want to.” Manuel took a good long look at her. “Nice. A little tall and she looks strong but we have clients who like a challenge.”

“What are you doing to me, you asshole?” Leila growled, wanting to get them to say to her face that they were slavers.

“We are going to sell you for a very high price, my dear. If you resist, you will die, it’s that simple,” Manuel answered. “Jose, open the door. We’ll put her in with the others.”

“Hold it, Jose!” Leila ordered as another man approached the locked door. She didn’t want those women to see what was about to happen. “Before you open it, I have something to say.”

Jose paused, looking at Manuel for instructions. Manuel shrugged. “Okay, say what you have to say, then we throw you in with the others.”

“All right,” Leila said, drawing herself up to her full six foot one inch human height. “You are all going to die unless you surrender right now. I will take you to the police and you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, imprisoned and possibly executed. Or you can die here right now.”

Manuel absorbed this for a moment, and then began to laugh. Soon the other men joined in, filling the room with their mocking. “So, you don’t surrender?” Leila asked.

Manuel had to wipe a tear away as he answered. “No Señorita, we do not surrender. So I guess you will have to kill us.”

Leila digested this for a moment. “Oh,” she finally said, then faster than the eye could see, disarmed Manuel and shot him in the head with his own gun. Before the others could react, she emptied the gun into five more of them, leaving twenty men scattering out into the compound yet to deal with. “Come on down, boys,” she telepathed to Derasthe, becoming angelic again and drawing her sword. “There’s plenty to go round!”

Less than half a second later, the compound was filled with screaming as three more angels descended from the dark sky above to continue the massacre. “Don’t let anyone get away!” Derasthe ordered as his sword efficiently removed Jose’s head. “Someone’s heading for the trees!” In answer, Michael flew after the fleeing man and cut him down in his tracks before coming back to the fray looking for more kills. Seeing two more men heading out in a different direction, he flew after them, screaming and gave them the same treatment. His sword felt like an extension of his arm and the killing was so easy.

Daniel, who had been intending only to watch from a few feet above found himself being shot at by another man who was attempting to get to a vehicle parked nearby. Without thinking, the angel took off after him and before he knew it, had taken the man’s head off, leaving only a squirming headless corpse on the ground, its shocked head dying seconds later. But he didn’t have time to reflect on what he had done as Derasthe screamed at him to pursue another one heading for another vehicle. His sword sang as he swung it through the air to crash down on yet another head, this time cleaving it in two.

Seeing his next victim crumple dead to the ground, he turned back toward the main part of the carnage to see if there was anyone else he could kill, but was disappointed to see that it was all but over. Derasthe was taking one last man out and Leila was already walking through the corpses inside to slit the throats of anyone still alive. It seemed surreal seeing his movie hero standing there, bathed in real blood after making some real kills. He rubbed his eyes and the weirdness of it faded away.

Michael had settled to the ground and was kneeling down in front of the body of one man who had shot him. The man had no face anymore and his neck was hanging by just a piece of flesh. With a quick movement, Michael completely severed the head and held it up by its hair to watch what was left of it die. Once life faded completely, he dropped it like so much garbage and looked over at his brother. “Daniel,” he said. “You’re soaked in blood head to toe. Awesome.”

“So are you,” Daniel returned, noting that his brother’s hair was even dripping with the stuff. “This was…surprising.”

“You’ve been shot,” Michael pointed out a small hole in his brother as he approached. “Look, there---in the side.”

Daniel quickly looked down and found it just under his left armpit. “You’re shittin’ me! “ he exclaimed. “I should be dead—that’s a kill shot and I didn’t even feel it.”

“I was shot too,” Leila said as she exited the building where she had been slitting throats. “Look at this, right under my tit!” She pointed to a small clean hole left by a 38mm pistol. “That’s going to leave a scar.”

Derasthe cleaned his blade and then it disappeared back where it came from before he came to examine Daniel’s wound. “That’s not bad. Gunshots aren’t usually much of a problem for us, Daniel. That will heal before you get home and the slug will either just stay in there or eventually come to the surface and pop out one day.”

“That’d be cool,” Michael grinned. “Right there in gym class, a bullet drops out onto the floor and…”

“Shut up, Michael!” Daniel growled. “So did you get all these guys?”

“Everyone we knew of,” Leila answered, brandishing a sheaf of papers she had found inside. “I’ve got a list of victims shipped out here. They kept pretty good records. If we want to do this right, we have to find the women that they sold and bring them back home. We might also have to do some work on the people who do the actual shipping and receiving, too.” She tucked the papers into her Gucci purse, and then the purse disappeared again. “The women in the building didn’t hear or see a thing—I kept them from it magically. But we have to clean this place up before we bring them out—and ourselves too.” She grinned at Daniel. “You look a fright! Shot full of holes…well, one hole…and drenched in so much blood you look like a redhead! I thought you weren’t going to kill but just watch.”

“I was, but some asshole shot at me and I lost control for a few moments,” Daniel answered reflectively. “It was so odd…I felt like I was just trimming branches or something. They were just things that needed to be eliminated. Is that what killing is like?”

“Only for angels new to it,” Derasthe said as his own magic cleaned him of blood. “In time, it will become something else, but I leave that for you to discover. In the meantime, let’s get cleaned up, back to human and talk to the ladies inside. I’m sure they all have varying destinations home. Once we determine where they belong, I can send them along home and erase their memories of the kidnapping and their time here. Hopefully things will get back to normal for them. In the meantime, you two can deal with the bodies.”

Both boys looked around at the carnage and then back at Derasthe. “Yuck!” Michael said, making his point succinctly.

“It’s not so bad, look at what I do,” Leila offered, already back in her blue jeans, tattered hat and sunglasses. She pointed a finger and like magic, a body disappeared. “It’s dematerialized and gone back to dust. Just focus, put your will into the force of the magic that is in you and use that to disintegrate them.”

“When do I point my finger?” Michael asked.

She laughed. “When you want to play cowboy, like I do! You don’t have to point anything—just will them to be gone and they will be gone.”

Michael shrugged and looked at his brother. “Can you do it?”

Daniel thought a moment, and then seemed to concentrate on the nearest body. Within a few seconds, it simply faded into the dust. He stared at where it had been for a moment, and then grinned. “This…is…incredible!”

Michael tried it and soon he too was able to disintegrate human bodies. Both went to work at it with such devotion that within minutes, the area was clean and looked as it had before their arrival. There was one exception however as Derasthe found the head of Jose, the first man he had killed, and it disappeared from his hand. “A souvenir, if you will,” he explained. “Each angel has a little space in another dimension that he or she can use as his own personal storage unit. I keep my souvenirs there—don’t like to shock the public you know, when I’m interviewed in my home.”

“Derasthe’s space really stinks,” Leila added, holding her nose. “How many heads do you have in there now? A few thousand? A million?”

“Only a few select heads, I assure you. Besides, for every new head I bring in, I toss an old one out so the number remains constant.” He glanced at the boys, mouthing the word ‘women’.

“So what if these guys had families?” Daniel asked while Derasthe’s angelic powers cleaned them both up. “What if their families were innocents and depended on these screwups for support? What then?”

“Asmodeus usually checks on that. If there are families left destitute, I will usually set up some kind of anonymous trust fund that will support them until the kids are 18,” Leila said. “It’s an advantage to be rich, I’m telling you. The checks are sent anonymously through a local bank, laundering the money and if they accept it, fine. If they don’t, it stays in the trust fund until the kids are old enough to decide for themselves if they want it. It’s all done legally and there are so many legal and financial layers between them and me, it’s pretty much impossible to trace the money back to me. But if someone ever does, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

“Leila supports quite a few families that way,” Derasthe commented as he finished cleanup of his crew. “Now, let’s continue our training for the evening and Leila will take care of finding the ladies who need to come back home.” He smiled his big movie star smile at everyone as he violently shook a coconut palm, knocking a few coconuts loose. “Who wants some coconut milk!”