The Metatronic Chronicles: A Minor Inconvenience

Later that evening, the two boys hopped on their bicycles and returned to the Gannon home, making the twelve mile journey in under ten minutes. They came screaming into the driveway with their bicycle tires still smoking, tossed the battered bikes down into the grass and knocked on the door. When Angela opened it, Michael playfully asked, “Hi Mrs. Gannon, can Rick come out to play?”

She smiled at them, remembering those old days. “Come on in boys. Rick is upstairs in his room and is waiting for you. I guess he has some questions and doesn’t want us old fogies listening in.”

Up in his bedroom, Rick was picking over some pieces in a cardboard box when they came in. He looked far different than he had earlier in the day, with his deep red hair just collar length and wearing a sweatshirt with some old paint-stained jeans. Daniel immediately recognized the shards as what was left of Rick’s expensive bass guitar. “Gabriel did this,” Rick said, picking up the neck by a few severed strings and holding it up. “I guess he isn’t much of a musician. Or maybe he just didn’t like what I was playing at the time he took over.”

Michael tenderly took the box from him and looked inside. “Is everything here?” he asked.

Mystified, Rick nodded and watched as Michael closed his eyes and concentrated for a moment. Inside the box, the pieces began moving around, reassembling themselves into a cohesive unit and finally melding the many breaks until his bass guitar stood up in the box, looking like new. “Cool trick!” Rick exclaimed. “Is that angelic magic?”

“Yes, and you have quite a supply of it,” Michael answered, examining his handiwork curiously. “Here ya go, should play fine. I had to study some schematics to get the electronics right but that only took a second or two.”

“Schematics?” Rick looked around. “I don’t have any schematics for it here.”

“It’s all part of being an angel.” Michael grinned, remembering his many faux pas of angelhood so far. “I just tuned into a guy down in Roseville who is a genius at fixing things and sort of copied what he knew. He knew the schematics for this exact instrument, can you believe that?”

“I know that guy. He did some work on it for me,” Rick answered, testing the bass by fingering a few strings and playing a run or two. It worked perfectly and he plugged it into his mini-amp to make sure but there was no doubt that it was the same instrument it had been before Gabriel dismantled it. “He is a genius. He designs and builds guitars for famous rock stars—his name is Eddie Lemay.”

“Yep, that was him and now I should be pretty good at that myself if I choose to go into that field but it doesn’t seem to be exactly the honest way to do things to me.” Michael settled down on the floor while his brother took a seat on the bed opposite their friend. “So, your mom said you have a lot of questions.”

Rick put down the bass. “Do I. Gabriel never answered anything for me and Asmodeus just told me to shut up and practice.”

“Practice what?”

“Martial arts mostly, swordplay, hand to hand combat, that kind of stuff. He’s a good teacher—I can pretty much kick anyone’s ass now. Do you know him?”

“We know him as a teacher too but we train mostly with Derasthe and Leila. Gabriel doesn’t trust them—do you know why?”

Rick shrugged and stared down at the floor. “I don’t know. It may have something to do with their history. They apparently aren’t Fallen sympathizers but he questions their motives, I guess. He will do anything to protect Metatron so maybe that’s something to do with it. But that’s not really what I wanted to ask you about.”

“So go ahead.”

Rick looked up at them, a grin on his face. “The sex, man. Gabriel can’t get enough of it and he’s equipped better than a stud bull. What’s up with that? I thought angels didn’t have sex.”

“Well now we know better, don’t we?” Michael nodded. “It was a shock to us too but now we’re learning to enjoy it.”

“With who? Human women are so fragile! Gabriel was here earlier with two girls from some town in Yukon Territory. He just picked them up and had them here before they knew what was happening. He seemed to mesmerize them—without even knowing his name or where they were, they let him do what he wanted. He nearly killed them before he took them back.”

Daniel and Michael realized that they had seen Gabriel in the act earlier that day when they were hovering above the house. The two lesser energies had been the girls while the glowing one was the angel himself. “Rick, I’m not real sure what to tell you,” Michael answered. “I know that we are designed to fit female angels but we are also compatible with humans.”

“You mean this giant dick of Gabriel’s actually fits into somebody?”

“Oh yes,” Daniel breathed, his eyes closed. He was remembering his approximately two minutes inside Leila. “A goddess.”

“Hmmm…” Rick considered this for a moment. “Then maybe things aren’t so bad after all. I’ve had more ass in the last few months than I’ve ever even dreamed of having. How are you guys handling it?”

“ Yoga,” Daniel kidded. “Lots of yoga…and yogurt to go with the yoga and Yogi Bear. As much yog as I can get keeps me happy.”

“That makes no sense,” Michael said. “Rick, do you know Alice Fitch?”

“That little mousy fat girl who stalks you? I’ve seen her. Nice tits.”

“Alice is carrying my baby.”

“What?” Rick couldn’t believe that Michael and Alice might actually have been together sexually. “Michael, you didn’t screw Alice, did you? I thought maybe you meant she was carrying something around in a blanket for you, not a real kid!”

Michael smiled slightly, nodding. “Okay have your fun. But she does have amazing tits--you just said so. Anyway, since I’m on a short leash right now and she’s already pregnant by me, I’ve been taking advantage of her willingness every day after school. On weekends, I just either find a way to get out without anyone knowing or blow it off myself out behind the garage and evaporate it.”

“Not in the house,” Daniel put in, echoing his father. “Too hard to clean up.”

“Oh, so it’s the masturbation nation are we?” Rick started to laugh. “Well it’s nice to know I won’t be alone.”

“Yeah, well since the winter break started, it’s been harder to get away alone though I’m sure dad is well aware of what we’re doing. We have to exercise every night but that’s with Derasthe and during the day, I have to deal with mom. She has no sympathy for me whatsoever. And of course, Leila won’t come until we are unable to get it to go down and man, that hurts! I won’t let myself get that bad again!”

“Yeah the boner that never quits,” Daniel nodded. “It feels like somebody stuck a hot steel rod up there.”

“Really?” Rick had experienced some incredible sex in Gabriel’s wake, but apparently the big angel knew enough not to let himself get that far along before he got relief. “It’s nice to know that before it happens, thanks.”

“It’s weird talking about this shit,” Daniel said. “I can remember when we all swore that girls were nasty and we would never ever like a girl.”

“Yeah, the Sky Rangers.” Rick thought back to the tree house in the backyard that they had used as a base for their impromptu girl-haters club. “Who knew?”

Michael changed the subject. “Well you have your bass back. What should we do about the band?” The rock band the three had formed with another friend was fairly popular but recent events had caused it to take a back seat to other things.

“Change the name,” Daniel said. “I always hated ‘The Squires’. It made us sound like we should be wearing tunics and holding horses.”

“I’m not sure we even have a band anymore,” Rick said. “I’d like to do it to just get back a sense of normalcy, but Steve Wheaton graduated and is going to college out west somewhere. We don’ t have a drummer anymore.” Their friend Steve was an aspiring filmmaker who only drummed as a hobby but he was very good and would be missed.

“How dare he graduate and go on toward his future as the next Alfred Hitchcock!” Steve had a macabre sense of humor and view on life, but Michael still envied him—his life would be more or less normal. “So who else is there that we can trust?”

“You can trust me!” A voice said and Asmodeus appeared in their midst, but no one seemed surprised except Rick, who was seeing his physical form for the first time. “Welcome back to the world, Rick!”

“Thanks!” Rick nodded, smiling. “You look good in the flesh!”

“Yes, and I owe Gabriel for tossing me out so many times. He will think twice about it now.” Asmodeus turned toward Daniel and Michael. “I was serious. I can drum—I’ve met a few drummers here and there and absorbed a lot of stuff. I have to be here for you three anyway so why not?”

“Asmodeus, you’re not human! Don’t you think people will notice?” Daniel asked.

Instantly, Asmodeus melted down into what seemed to be a handsome young man of about nineteen wearing worn blue jeans and a University of Wisconsin sweatshirt. He was barely six feet and had red curls brushing his shoulders. “It’s about damned time,” he said, looking around. Then, smiling shyly, he pulled some glasses out and put them on. “Metatron’s idea of a joke,” he said, his voice a bit lighter and youthful. “Give the mighty Asmodeus a human form of average height with myopic eyes. So, what do you think? Could I do it?”

Seeing Asmodeus become human was something that none of them ever expected to see and it was a bit of a shock. But Michael shook it off and found himself smiling again. “Okay, so you can be human. But what if you can’t drum? I mean I can read a dozen books on drumming but that doesn’t make me a drummer. You have to practice at it to be good.”

“I know a paradiddle from a flamadiddle and a tap cymbal from a high hat. I can drum any style—rock, jazz, big band, you name it. Besides if we are working together in a band, you can get out of the house more!” He winked at all three. “Groupies?”

The three boys exchanged looks and then nodded in unison. “You’re in,” Michael said. “But only if you can drum! We need to go someplace we can practice—I have got to see this!”

“I’ll get my drum set!” The being that used to be Asmodeus said quickly.

“One more thing,” Michael added. “We can’t call you Asmodeus. Do you have a human name?”

“David! David Dietrich! I’m from Milwaukee!” came the answer as their new drummer faded from view. “I’ll join you with my drum set wherever you set up in fifteen minutes!”

Fifteen minutes later, Rick, Michael and Daniel were setting up in the Wilder’s garage, once a very posh carriage house. Part of it had been converted to rehearsal space, insulated, soundproofed and rewired to handle the big amplifiers that went along with having a rock band, a project that was happily funded by James and Mary. It got the rock band in question out of the house.

Rick’s amplifier was already there, so it wasn’t hard to get all three musicians set up and ready to go. Michael sang lead and played lead guitar on a beat up but still classic Fender Stratocaster while Daniel was a very proficient pianist who also doubled on an electronic keyboard that he had built from a kit. The piano was an electronic portable while the homebuilt keyboard was hooked into a device called a synthesizer that could make it sound like anything from a church organ to a space ship. All they needed now was a drummer.

Their new drummer David appeared in their midst but no drums were in sight. “Hi!”

“Hi back at ya and where are your drums?” Michael asked.

“Coming. Can you make some space?” David asked. “They’re kind of big.”

The three musicians glanced at each other and warily moved back, creating a large empty area. What in hell was he bringing?

In answer, a set of sparkling new looking Ludwig drums appeared in the new space. They were of a black marbled finish with double bass drums, four mounted tom toms, two large floor toms, a high hat, a snare, four Zildjian cymbals of varying types and to top it all off, a big Chinese gong behind the drummer’s throne. It was a set designed for a large stadium concert, not high school gigs, but David was obviously very proud of it. Next to it appeared a box full of drummer’s supplies—sticks, brushes, Allen wrenches, polish and various replacement drum heads.

“So, what do you think?” he asked, grabbing some sticks taking a seat behind them. A quick roll on the snare told them that he did at least know how to do that.

Michael heard Rick giggle slightly. “Um…wow…uh…David. They’re cool, but a bit overwhelming,” he said cautiously. “Do you think you could strip it down a bit for high school Dances and weddings? The stages are pretty small.”

“Well obviously this is the entire set,” David answered sharply. He was nothing at all like Asmodeus. “But of course for gigs, I can just take the basics. I was hoping I could store it here. It’s insured so as long as the building is locked, it’s covered.”

“Do you actually use all this?” Daniel asked, still taking in the impressive sight of a professional rock concert drummer’s equipment. “I mean have you drummed with anyone that we know?”

David gave him a sarcastic look. “Well now, I have all kinds of time for that, don’t I? But I have actually drummed with real musicians here and there. I bought this from the family of a guy who was killed in a car accident. He used to play with a band out of Chicago that did some big shows but he quit and then a few months later got drunk and ran his Mustang into a tree in Racine.”

Michael glanced at his brother and then gave David a quizzical look. “You didn’t um…kill him for it, did you?”

“Do I look like that kind of a guy?” David asked, genuinely hurt. He took a look around the room and seeing the looks on his new friends’ faces, he continued on. “Look, we have to get something understood here. Asmodeus is Asmodeus and David is David. I didn’t have Asmodeus for years—I just got him back a few months ago. He said he was stuck in a church somewhere—whatever.”

This sounded a bit different than what the other three had experienced. “You were aware of him?” Michael asked. “But you weren’t together? Not at all?”

“Not for fifteen years. I had him when I was a kid—he was like an imaginary playmate, but he was inside me, not floating around the sky like some big buzzard. We got along great and when he disappeared, I really missed him, like somehow a physical part of me had been taken away.”

“So when he came back, it wasn’t a shock to you?” Michael persisted. “You knew what he was?”

“Of course I was shocked but it was a good kind of shock. I was happy to have him back, like somehow I was complete again. I am not like you. I don’t go around crying ‘o my angel hates me’ or any bullshit like that. Asmodeus and I get along great and that’s the way it is.”

“Well that’s interesting,” Daniel said as he powered up his keyboards. “I had no idea—we can exist apart from each other? I always thought that Daniel was inside me the whole time. And who knew Asmodeus had you tucked away in there? He never let on that he wasn’t alone even once.”

“There was no reason for him to mention it,” David answered. “All I know is that when you talk to me, you are talking to both of us but the side of me that’s Asmodeus is more or less silent. When Asmodeus is in control, it’s the other way around which is actually the majority of the time. I like flying, I like being an angel—I like being Asmodeus.”

“So then, you went to school, grew up in a normal household like the rest of us?” Michael was full of questions and wanted to get things out in the open. David knew everything about them but they knew next to nothing about him.

“Yes, I went to school in a little berg called Whitefish Bay, just north of Milwaukee, but a normal household? Hardly.”

“So tell us about your family.” Michael continued to goad information out of him.

David sighed. “My dad was George Alan Dietrich of Dietrich Machine. He built stuff like small engines for lawn mowers and big engines for tractors and racecars. My mom died when I was eleven but she inherited money from my grandfather, Carl Harding, who owned a brewery.” He paused, remembering a very sterile, insulated childhood. “They didn’t even sleep in the same room after I was born. We had maids, butlers, and chauffeurs—a very bourgeois lifestyle. I had a nanny until I was sent away to a private school and after that I was only home during the summer and holiday breaks.” He suddenly gave them an embarrassed smile. “Anyway, my dad passed away last year and guess who inherited it all?”

By this time, all three of his fellow musicians jaws were gaping wide open. It took a few seconds for Daniel to finally ask just how much he had inherited.

“One hundred and twenty million dollars and change,” David answered. “And that’s no joke. Until last year I had about thirty-five dollars in a piggy bank account at our local bank and was eating Ramen noodles in a one-room apartment. Now I am probably the richest nineteen year old around these parts anyway.”

“Surely someone is taking care of your money for you?” Michael asked, astounded.

“I have a few business managers, my dad’s banker who acts just like my dad and Asmodeus keeps an eye on them for me. Asmodeus is really the only one I trust and since we aren’t completely integrated yet, I really depend on him. Once the integration is complete, I should be able to do it myself without outside help.”

“So if we need five bucks for new guitar strings,” Rick asked. “Can we go to you?”

David shrugged. “I’m on an allowance until I’m twenty one. I could probably float you a loan of five bucks but don’t ask for much more though. I had to talk pretty fast to convince my dad’s banker that I needed the money for these drums and a used van to haul them around in. In fact, you two…” He pointed a drumstick at Daniel and Michael. “Probably have more pocket cash than I ever do. Your dad may not be a multi-millionaire but he’s a shrewd money manager and you won’t believe what he owns stock in.”

“No more!” Michael quickly said. “Dad is funny about money. He thinks we should earn it ourselves and stay out of his business. I agree. I already get in too much trouble so let’s practice instead…I want to hear your drumming.”

In answer, David began pounding out a good solid beat punctuated with complex rolls, riffs and bass drum footwork. “Unlike Asmodeus, who absorbs everything he knows instantly from other people,” he called out over his drum work. “I actually do know how to play the drums. I learned in school and he just fakes it! Let’s do some Stones!”