The Maze Bummer: A Parody of The Maze Runner

The next thing Thomas remembered, he was lying on a bed in the frat house with a splitting headache. He raised his head groggily.

“Thomas, can you hear me?” It was Chuck.

“Chuck? What am I doing here?”

“You just went through the Changing,” said Chuck. “For some klunkin’ reason you went out into the Maze again at night.”

Thomas noticed that Chuck looked a lot thinner than when he last saw him.

“You been working out lately?” said Thomas.

Chuck shook his head. “The past few days we’ve been living off of pizza crusts we retrieved from the garbage,” said Chuck. “Spatula had stored some slices in the fridge, but some klunkhead stole them all.”

So that’s why my pants feel so mushy, thought Thomas.

“Did you remember anything during the Changing?” asked Chuck.

Thomas considered it for a moment. Did he remember anything? Or had he hooked up with a Heaver for nothing?

Thomas noticed a notepad lying on the bed with a bunch of writing on it. He flipped through the pages and saw he’d written down detailed descriptions of things he’d seen during the Changing so he wouldn’t forget. Thomas read through some of the notes, then looked up at Chuck with urgency.

“Chuck, run and tell Alby and Newt we need to call a Cock Convention,” said Thomas. “Now!”

“Okay,” said Chuck. “But first, are you gonna eat that?”

It took Thomas a second to realize Chuck was pointing at an ant crawling on the bed.

“Uh…no, all yours,” said Thomas.

Chuck devoured the ant like it was a bacon double cheeseburger, and ran out to find Alby and Newt.