SWNOVELS The Mating Run by Leeka Chapter 67
In His Eyes: Regrets
Zeke’s POV
The room is bathed in a soft, warm glow as the morning sun filters through the
window.
Indifferent as ever, Alina lies on the bed, her gaze fixed on the ceiling, the room filled with a sense of emptiness. We no longer sleep together in the same bed. The distance between us is palpable, a constant reminder of the fragments we’re trying to piece back together.
eat.”
“Hey, Alina,” I say softly, gently shaking her shoulder. “Breakfast is ready. Let’s
No matter what is said or done, her gaze remains steadfast, and she shows no signs of responding. It’s as if I’m a stranger in her world. I continue to persist, yearning for the moment when her eyes will once again hold the recognition I crave.
I prepare breakfast, a simple meal of fish that I caught earlier by the lake. As the fire crackles in the small pit, its warm sound fills the entire cabin, creating a comforting atmosphere. In the midst of cooking, I am occasionally distracted by brief glimpses of her movement from the corner of my eye. Lost in her thoughts, she sits on the edge of the bed, staring into the distance. It feels as if there is an unknown expanse separating us, a void that I long to fill.
“Alina, come on. Breakfast is ready,” I say, setting the plate of fish on the small table. “Do you want to have it there?”
“No… No, it’s fine. Just give me a minute.”
Moving at a snail’s pace, her b*dy casts a shadow against the soft glow of the morning light. The hoodie drapes loosely over her shoulders, swaying with each step she takes. After she settles into the gound, I find myself sitting across from her, the air between us heavy with an unspoken quietness.
I watch her eat, her gaze fixed on the food as she methodically cuts and chews. The act of eating food for her became a monotonous routine, stripped of any pleasure or significance.
“Alina, do you need anything else?”
“I could use some water, I guess.”
Careful not to impose, I ask with a gentle tone, my voice barely audible. I can’t help but notice the shrug of her shoulders, a small gesture that speaks volumes. The vacant look in her eyes resonates in the void that separates us. Each passing day adds weight to the burden I carry, an ache that lingers within me.
I grab a cup, filling it with warm water that steams in the cool air, and offer it to
her.
“Here. Drink.”
“Uhh… thanks.”
Despite taking the cup, her gaze remains unresponsive, lacking any acknowledgement. I sit back, allowing her some room to breathe, while my plate of food remains untouched in front of me. Our shared silence cast a heavy shadow over the cabin, making it feel smaller and more constricting. Each passing moment feels like an eternity, a constant reminder of how far apart we’ve become. As I watch her, a wave of emotion swells in my chest, causing a lump to form in my
throat.
I watch with delight as Alina takes her time, relishing every last bite of her meal. My gaze remains fixed on her, my own plate forgotten and untouched. As she sets the empty plate down, her gaze distant, I feel compelled to break the silence.
“Do you want more? You can have this.” With a nod, I offer her my plate, which is piled high with mouthwatering fish. Alina’s gaze shifted from the plate to me, her face contorted with a peculiar expression. “I’m not that hungry.”
With a skeptical look in her eyes, she scoffs dismissively. She sees my offer, my attempt to care for her, as a complex puzzle that she can’t decipher. She lets out a
deep sigh, the sound reverberating in the stillness of the room, before finally breaking the silence with her words.
“Why are you doing this, Zeke?”
Her tone is sharp, cutting through the stillness.
Unsure of how to answer, I hesitated, my mind racing with possible responses.
“Doing what?”
“Treating me like some child who can’t take care of herself. I’m not helpless.”
With every word she utters, a sharp sting pierces through me, and a knot tightens in my chest, causing discomfort. The ache was all too familiar, a painful reminder of how distant we had become. I can’t bear to look at her, so I shift my gaze to my hands, trying to hide the remorse in my eyes.
“Look, this is weird to me, okay?” I can feel her anger lingering in the air, creating a palpable tension between us. I glance at the untouched plate in front of me, feeling my stomach grumble with hunger. “Zeke, I don’t need your help. I don’t need you to play the hero. Stop doing this for me. It’s weird.”
“Alina, I just… I want to get you what you need,” My voice trembled with a hint of desperation as I spoke, my words desperately trying to bridge the growing gap between us. My eyes instinctively wander to the mating mark on her n*eck, the mark that says she’s mine. Of course, she notices me staring, and her cheeks immediately turn a rosy shade. “I’m your mate-”
“Can you stop saying that?!” With anger blazing in her eyes, she forcefully slaps her hand against the mating mark on her n*eck. “It’s really weird! I already told you, I’m still trying to remember those things you say happened. Stop making things. tougher than they already are!”
“I didn’t mean… I didn’t want it to be like this. Sorry.” I murmur, my voice barely audible.
Frustration overwhelms her as she lets out a sigh, her fingers instinctively
reaching for the bridge of her nose. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have freaked out. But hey, you don’t have to share your food with me. You eat it. Your stomach is making noise, I can hear it.”
“Oh, but…”
“I’m serious. Eat.”
Alina stands and walks towards the bed again, her eyes fixed on me as she takes a seat on the edge, her presence palpable in the room. I grab the plate, trying to eat the food as rapidly and silently as possible, fully immersed in its flavors. She was right about me being hungry, but I would gladly give up my food if it means she
can eat more.
“Why are you doing all this?”
“What?”
“This.” With exasperation, Alina repeats her words, gesturing wildly with her hands. “Is this because you got stuck with me as a mate or something?”
“I’m doing this because I love you.”
Her gaze shifts, and she freezes. Her cheeks were flushed with a vivid red, a striking contrast to the bewildered expression in her eyes. It’s as if my confession has jolted her awake from a trance, pulling her into the present moment.
“Love?”
Her voice, barely above a whisper, echoed softly within the tranquil cabin as she repeated herself. Nodding, I can’t help but feel the weight of vulnerability settle
upon me.
“Yes. I love you.”
A sigh escapes her l*ps, carrying with it a blend of emotions.
“Before… before I lost my memories, did I love you back?”
The question dangles in the air, a tenuous connection between our past and the present, waiting to be answered. When my eyes met hers, they conveyed a sense of both uncertainty and longing.
“I don’t know. I never… I never confessed back then. I never knew how I felt, so I never knew how you felt.”
A blend of disappointment and realization washes over her, evident in her changing expression. Breaking the silence again, her voice slices through the stillness with a sharpness akin to a blade.
“You’re such a loser, Zeke. If you had confessed to me back then, maybe I wouldn’t have forgotten about you.”
My laughter was forced, but her words struck a nerve, causing a wave of pain to wash over me. As the accusation lingers in the air, a sense of missed opportunities weighs heavily on my shoulders.
“Yeah,” My reply escapes my l*ps, the sound of my voice betraying a combination of self–deprecating mockery and a touch of regret. “I guess I am a
loser.”
With a raised eyebrow, Alina fixes her gaze on the target, her expression unwavering.
“So, when did you figure out you loved me, huh?”
I quickly avert my gaze, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks.
“Well, it’s not like I woke up one day and realized it…”
Leaning back and crossing her arms, she fixates her gaze on me, patiently waiting for my response. I noticed a mischievous sparkle in her eye, a sight I had never seen before. She tilts her head to the side, her eyes fixed on me, a mischievous smirk playing on her l*ps.
As I clear my throat, I can feel her eyes boring into me, their intensity weighing heavily on me. “I guess… I finally got it when I couldn’t bear the idea of being
without you. When you not being there felt like something was missing.”
74%
As she stares at me, her eyes burn with such intensity that it sets my heart racing. Her laughter bubbles out when I clear my throat again, a beautiful sound. that holds me spellbound. If I could capture her in a photograph at this moment, the joyous sound of her laughter would be frozen in time.
“You’re blushing, Zeke. Is that really when you figured it out?”
I nod, my face flushing with embarrassment. “Yeah, I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s true. I didn’t realize how much I needed you until you were gone.”
A short pause hung in the air, accompanied by the soothing crackling of the fire, heightening the unspoken emotions between us. The edges of Alina’s guard momentarily lift, and her face transforms with a softened expression.
“I don’t get it,” Finally, she says, her voice now softer and less accusatory. “If you felt that way, why didn’t you confess before I lost my memories?”
A sigh escapes my l*ps as I feel the weight of my own indecision pressing down
on me.
“I thought I had more time.”
“Huh.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
With the arrival of night, the cabin becomes eerily quiet, amplifying my unease as I brace myself for another night of restlessness. We have silently accepted the growing distance between us, finding solace in separate beds. The fire’s embers cast a dim glow, creating a dance of shadows on the walls.
As I lie down, the weight of our new normal settles upon me, a whirlwind of emotions that I can’t escape. The uncertainty hung in the air, mingling with a deep sense of longing and the fragments of what once was. Sleep feels like a distant
without you. When you not being there felt like something was missing.”
As she stares at me, her eyes burn with such intensity that it sets my heart. racing. Her laughter bubbles out when I clear my throat again, a beautiful sound that holds me spellbound. If I could capture her in a photograph at this moment, the joyous sound of her laughter would be frozen in time.
“You’re blushing, Zeke. Is that really when you figured it out?”
I nod, my face flushing with embarrassment. “Yeah, I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s true. I didn’t realize how much I needed you until you were gone.”
A short pause hung in the air, accompanied by the soothing crackling of the fire, heightening the unspoken emotions between us. The edges of Alina’s guard momentarily lift, and her face transforms with a softened expression.
“I don’t get it,” Finally, she says, her voice now softer and less accusatory. “If you felt that way, why didn’t you confess before I lost my memories?”
A sigh escapes my l*ps as I feel the weight of my own indecision pressing down
on me.
“I thought I had more time.”
“Huh.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
With the arrival of night, the cabin becomes eerily quiet, amplifying my unease as I brace myself for another night of restlessness. We have silently accepted the growing distance between us, finding solace in separate beds. The fire’s embers cast a dim glow, creating a dance of shadows on the walls.
As I lie down, the weight of our new normal settles upon me, a whirlwind of emotions that I can’t escape. The uncertainty hung in the air, mingling with a deep sense of longing and the fragments of what once was. Sleep feels like a distant
dream, sl*pping away from me like a wisp of smoke.
“Goodnight, Alina.”
My voice escapes in a soft murmur, a blend of surrender and anticipation. A moment of silence hangs in the air, and just as I believe she has succumbed to the realm of dreams, her voice shatters the stillness.
“Zeke?”
As I turn to face her, the soft, dim light casts a gentle glow on her features.
“Yeah?”
There’s a hint of vulnerability in her gaze as she hesitates, and it instantly tugs at my heart.
“Can you… sleep beside me?”
Her unexpected request caught me off guard, and I could feel my cheeks growing warm. Her eyes reveal vulnerability, mirroring my own, as the unspoken implications of her words hang heavy in the air.
“I… I don’t think that’s a good idea, Alina,” My voice faltered as I stammered, torn between uncertainty and aching desire. “I want to, you have no idea, but…”
She looks frustrated, her gaze dropping to the bed. “I just thought it might help. Maybe being close to you will trigger something, make me remember.”
Her words were filled with such desperation that my heart ached. She’s searching for something she can’t quite grasp, and I want to help her find it.
“Alina, it’s not that I don’t want to be close to you,” I say, my words careful. “It’s just… I’m afraid it might complicate things. For both of us.”
She looks away, frustration etched on her face. “I don’t want to ask again, Zeke. I hate feeling this way, like I’m missing something important. But I thought maybe… maybe being close to you could bring it back-” “Okay.”
“Okay what?”
“I’m sleeping next to you.”
Standing up from my bed, I make my way over to hers. Surprisingly, she shifts in her bed, creating some space for me. She doesn’t say anything else, but the redness of her ears speaks volumes. The night wraps around us like a suffocating blanket, and I lay beside Alina, our distance a silent understanding measured by the arm’s length.
“Goodnight, Alina.”
“Goodnight, Zeke.”
I close my eyes, feeling the warmth of the bed enveloping me in a fragile
comfort.
…Then, abruptly, I’m jolted awake.
Struggling to breathe, my eyes bulge out of their sockets, reflecting my panic. With vacant eyes, Alina’s once serene expression is now gone as her hands wrap tightly around my throat.