The Mating Rules

My wolf is whimpering, feeling the pain that’s radiating off our mate, urging me to take hold of him and comfort him somehow.

‘What do you mean?’ I ask softly, studying him carefully, really taking in everything about him. The tightened muscles of his shoulders, the rigid stance like he’s constantly prepared to defend himself, hands fisted at his side, trembling slightly as if he’s fighting his own instincts.

‘I’m protecting myself from you’ he whispers hoarsely.

I’m staring at him, ‘why?’ is all I can force out.

Hadley meets my gaze, pure agony written there, ‘because you are going to pick him’ he replies simply.

I shake my head instinctively, I don’t know who I’m going to pick, I don’t know either of them, not really.

‘No, I haven’t decided’ I argue, taking a step forward.

The warrior raises a hand, warding me off again, and I swallow the pain of being rejected yet again. ‘yes, you will’ he sighs, ‘and I can’t even blame you for it, you have too, you don’t have a choice.’

The guy is talking in riddles, and my own pain is swirling inside of me, ‘yes I do, the Alpha said it was my decision, and unless one of you wants out, neither of you could make it for me.’ I wrap my arms around myself, needing some sort of physical protection from this conversation.

Hadley’s head hangs down, his chin on his chest as he breathes heavily, ‘you’ll pick him Jamie-Lee, he’s the Alpha, he needs his Luna.’

I frown, ‘I know that Hadley, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to pick him’ I reply firmly, ‘I could pick you, if I got to know you.’

The warrior smiles sadly, looking up at me through his lashes, ‘you won’t’ he argues, ‘and do you know why?’ he doesn’t wait for me to respond, thrusting his hands into his pockets as he rocks back and forth on his heels. ‘You’ll pick Star because it’s not just him that needs you, the whole pack does. For Star to lose his Luna will weaken him and in turn that will weaken the pack, you won’t be able to live with the guilt.’ He meets my gaze full on, the intensity overwhelming me, the raw hunger there as he stares at me. ‘You love this pack,’ it’s not a question, he knows it’s true, ‘you won’t allow this pack to suffer because the Goddess decided to play a cruel joke on us, you’ll pick Star, mate, mark and have pups with him.’

I bite down on my lower l*p, I cant deny that the weight of being the possible Luna weighs me down, this decision affects everyone in this pack, not just the three of us. The thought of the happiness of the whole pack resting on my choice makes my breath catch and I rub my chest as I try to breathe. When I was just making the choice between which man would get a family, it was bad enough but now it’s overwhelming me.

I shake my head, ‘but what if picking him is wrong?’ I ask, pulling at my top, my God it’s hot in here, I need air! ‘What if we just can’t get on, just because we are mates and fated to love each other, doesn’t mean we can get past not liking each other!’

‘Jamie-Lee’ Hadley starts as I shake my head in panic.

‘No, there are still mates who cheat, mates who just hate each other! If Caden and I are like that not only would our pups be unhappy but the whole pack would! What if I’m supposed to reject him so he can find someone to love?’

The warrior is in front of me as I freak the hell out, I’m rambling I know it but I can’t stop.

I move my hand to his naked torso, my fingers grazing Hadley’s skin and for the first time, the warrior doesn’t avoid me, instead his eyelids close as a breath leaves him, soft, vulnerable.

‘What if I’m supposed to choose you?’ I whisper, looking up at him, ‘why would the Goddess give me this choice if it was so clear cut? Why not just mate me to Caden and have done?’

The man in front of me shrugs, a hand curling over my own, holding it to him, ‘I don’t know’ he murmurs, ‘but I really do believe that you are meant to be Luna.’

‘If you are so sure, why did you not reject me when the Alpha offered you the out?’ I ask, my voice tiny as I look up at him, why didn’t he just hand me over if that’s what he thinks?

The warrior chuckled darkly, his fingers tightening around my own, ‘because it seems that I’m some sort of masochist who wants to intensify his own pain’ he muttered, more to himself than me. ‘Even though I know I can’t have you, I can’t bear to let you go, so I torture myself being around you. I fight everything inside me that screams at me to get close to you, tell you everything about me because I know that after this month, you’ll no longer be mine.’

I splay my fingers over his chest, unconsciously teasing the lines, within reach of my hand under his. ‘Do you want me to reject you?’ I ask hesitantly, feeling the warrior tense under my fingers, ‘do you want me to pick Caden?’

I peek upwards, feeling a punch to my gut at the look of pure torment on my mate’s features as he screws his face up.

‘I . . I . .’ The warrior swallows thickly, eyes opening as he stares down at me longingly, ‘I want you’ he admits, his voice sounding like it’s costing him everything to admit it. ‘I want you so damn bad it kills me to stay away from you. I can’t decide what hurts more, staying away or being near you knowing you won’t ever be mine.’

I nod, feeling a percentage of his pain through our bond, knowing his wolf is hurting from Skarla who has curled up into a tight ball in my mind, head buried into her side.

‘I don’t want to reject you’ I murmur, ‘I want to get to know you. I know what you said about Caden and the pack, but I’m really not sure who I’m supposed to pick, hell I don’t even know if he wants me except for the whole Luna thing.’

Hadley snorted, making me raise and eyebrow, meeting his pain filled gaze, ‘he wants you sweetheart’ he sighs, ‘trust me, he wants you more than anything.’

Now it’s my turn to snort as I shake my head, ‘well we’ll have to agree to disagree’ I reply, finally disentagling my hand from his and moving it up to his shoulder, cupping the back of his neck, as I hold his gaze.

‘I don’t know what I’m supposed to do for the best, and I can’t spend the next four weeks agonising over it, I need to just do what the Alpha told me to do.’ I drop my head to his shoulder, taking a second before bringing my gaze back to the man holding me up like I weigh nothing. ‘One thing I do know though is now you need to make a decision Hadley Carrington’ I add firmly, ‘will you let me get to know the real you? Not this pissed off, defeated guy who keeps running away from me?’

The warrior closed his eyes, warring with himself before giving me the tiniest of nods.

I feel Skarla uncurl slightly, her tail wagging ever so slightly at his agreement and I smile as I impulsively haul his face down to mine, pressing my lips to his.

The man in front of me stiffens just for a second before his arms curl around me, I’m lifted off the ground and pinned to the door, my legs wrapping around him as I drown in this gorgeous man’s taste.

‘Dammit’ Hadey growls softly as he pulls away slightly so we can breathe, ‘I knew it.’

I c**k my head to the side, my fingers playing with his hair, ‘knew what?’ I ask curiously.

The warrior grins ruefully at me, ‘I knew that I was done for as soon as I had that first taste of you in the forest, after a second taste? I’m never going to be able to let you go, you are going to have to do it.’

I swat at his arm, growling playfully, ‘we are not talking about that’ I huff, ‘we are getting to know each other and maybe doing some more of this’ I add, waving a finger between us.

Hadley laughed, those damn dimples making an appearance once again, ‘oh so I’m like a mate with benefits?’ he asked.

I nod smiling, ‘as my mate I’m pretty sure it’s in the rule book that I get k****s’ I reply solemnly. ‘If I have to make this horrible decision I need all the information I can get.’ I lean forward, my lips a hair breath from his, ‘plus, you are really really hot, it’s quite hard to not want to lick various parts of your body.’

A smile graces my face at the red that climbs his cheeks, my warrior is blushing and it’s possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

‘ I can get on board with that’ he rumbles, burying his head into my neck and breathing in, the soft whisper of ‘butterscotch’ reaches my ear as he inhales my scent.

I curl around him like a monkey, trying to get as close as possible, my body craving him. I have no idea who or how I am going to pick, but at least Hadley is willing to give me the chance to know him, now just to talk to the other knucklehead I’ve been paired with.