The Mating Rules

Raelyn’s POV

We are laying side be side on my bed, both of us facing each other, Isaac’s arm wrapped around across my body, his hand pressed possessively against my back.

I didn’t answer his declaration, couldn’t bring myself to do it, hurt us both more than we were already. Me having no wolf isn’t an obstacle that we’d have to fight the council and the Alpha about, it’s a big old red rubber stamp mark over us. The Beta female cannot be wolfless, her job requires her to be strong, aggressive and dangerous.

‘I won’t give up on us’ Isaac says suddenly, ‘I know that you think it’s hopeless, but I can’t, no . . I won’t walk away from you.’ He presses his lips to mine, soft and sensual and I automatically lean in to him, ‘I don’t know how to make this work Rae, but I refuse to just let go of you. Caden asked me what I could accept, and I didn’t know how to answer him before, but I do now. I can only accept a world where you and I are together,’ he pauses, ‘no matter the cost’ he whispers.

I shudder at his words, wanting to ask him what he means, but he pulls me tighter into his arms, so my head is resting on his bicep, his fingers twisting in my hair until I lose the nerve to question him.

‘I’ve always wondered’ the Beta suddenly muses out loud as he trails the fingers of his other hand up and down my back obviously wanting to move on from what he had said. ‘Can you she wolves hear each other?’

I lift my head slightly so I can look at him, frowning in confusion, ‘what do you mean?’ I ask.

Isaac shrugs, not meeting my eye, ‘at the claiming’ he continues quietly, ‘I mean, we can only hear the song of our mate, no male can hear another man’s mate sing, but I always wondered, can she wolves hear each other? Like is the forest full of music when you are waiting for your mate to reply?’

He taps his fingers on my back, brow furrowed slightly, ‘that must be amazing if you can’ he adds, a sadness crossing his face, ‘to hear all those calls around you and know that some of them will be answered.’

I glance away from him, uncomfortable all over again, knowing I’m going to have to put my whole truth out there for him.

Seeing my face, his face falls slightly, ‘sorry’ he mumbles, ‘that was really insensitive. I didn’t really think . . I doubt it’s amazing when you don’t get answered. I mean, it sucks to not be called but . . ‘ he looks at me nervously, ‘is it as heartbreaking to call out and not get a reply as it is to sit waiting for a call that never comes?’ he asks with vulnerability.

‘I don’t know’ I admit slowly, playing with the sleeve of his shirt, rubbing the fabric between my fingers, ‘I’ve never attended a claiming.’

Now it’s Isaac who is sitting up, his eyes wide as he stares at me, ‘what? How? I mean . . I know about your whole . . thing, but how did you not . . what never? It’s the law!’ he finally manages to splutter out.

I shrug my shoulders, ‘there was no point, I had no wolf to be able to call out’ I mumble. ‘Plus, it was dangerous for me, summoned Werewolves are practically feral sometimes, if one had stumbled upon me when they were trying to get to their mate, they could have attacked me. Attacking a wolf is not great, but you are all pretty hard to kill, and even Omega she wolves can fight enough to try and protect themselves. Attacking a wolfless female with slow healing? I could die before I was even found again, I have hardly any more strength than a human, a wolf in a haze could rip me apart.’

Isaac sucks in a breath, as I watch him from between my eyelashes worriedly.

‘So what did you do on claiming night?’ Isaac asks, ‘sit in the window and watch everyone walk into the woods without you?’

I shake my head, ‘I never got to see the she wolves who took part’ I sigh, ‘I was put in a room with a door that bolted from the inside. There were no windows and it was underground so no one could see or scent me. The door was reinforced as well so it would take a lot of strength for a wolf to break through it.’

Isaac’s eyes bulge as he looks at me, ‘you’ve never seen the claiming?’ he repeats, ‘what not even as a pup?’

I frown slightly, ‘no’ I reply, ‘when I was small, we were all in bed before it started and when I was finally old enough that we wanted to sneak looks at everyone, the Alpha already suspected that I was different and kept me away from the windows.’ I smile ruefully, ‘I haven’t seen a full moon since I was ten’ I admit sadly.

‘Since you were ten’ Isaac mutters to himself, trying to wrap his head around what I’ve just told him. ‘What, never?’ he a*s me again, ‘you’ve never seen the full moon since before you should have shifted?’

I nod with a shrug, ‘nope’ I reply, ‘it was just safer that way.

‘You should take part’ he suddenly says, sitting up straight as I follow him, staring at him as if he’s lost his mind and I’ll be honest, I’m not entirely sure he hasn’t.

‘I’m too old for the claiming!’ I point out, ‘plus all the reasons I’ve never taken part are still valid! Even more so because no-one knows about . . ‘ I drop my voice, ‘you know what.’

Isaac shakes his head at me, pushing off the bed and starting to pace back and forth across the room. ‘How do you know?’ he asks under his breath, ‘there could be a mate out there for you and they’ve never had the chance to hear you.’

I push up onto my knees crawling toward the end, reaching my hand out to try and catch hold of his arm. ‘Isaac’ I call, ‘I don’t have a wolf, I can’t call to anyone! There is no one waiting for me because I don’t have their other half!’

The Beta ignores me, his footsteps cushioned by the thick carpeted floor as he walks back and forth in agitation.

‘Some poor wolf could be going from pack to pack, looking for you and you’ve never been allowed to call him’ he frets. ‘You need to take part’ he announces, stopping his pacing and looking at me, sadness and determination evident in his expression. ‘You need to take part Rae’ he whispers brokenly, ‘you need to try and find your mate.’

I shake my head, grabbing at his hand, ‘why?’ I ask, ‘you said you love me, right over there’ I whisper, pointing at the edge of my bed. ‘I think I love you too, actually, I’m sure I do! Why would you want me to attend the claiming?’

Isaac sits down beside me, pulling me into his arms and kissing my forehead, ‘you said it yourself’ he mutters, ‘I can’t have you as my Beta female. Even if I could, I couldn’t mark you knowing that there was possibly a wolf out there, your perfect other who is waiting for you and has had no opportunity to find you.’

He fiddles with my hair again, the action seeming to sooth him, his chin resting on my crown as his other hand holds my waist securely. ‘I love you Rae’ he murmurs, ‘I know I do, more than I thought I could ever love another person. If this is a shadow of what the mate bond feels like, then it hurts to think of what I’ve been missing from my life.’

He tilts my head up, looking into my eyes, ‘I can’t do it Rae, I can’t let you throw away a chance at having your perfect other without even trying. I know what it feels like to wait every full moon for a call that never comes and though it kills me to say it, because I want you to be mine so damn bad, I just can’t take that away from another wolf.’

‘But I want to be with you’ I whisper, certain beyond anything that I’m speaking the truth. ‘I said I couldn’t do the whole being your bed buddy, but I can! I totally can! I’d rather have a part of you than nothing at all.’ I grip his shirt, pressing my lips to his as tears start to roll down my face again, knowing that the Beta has already made his mind up, after everything, he is going to let me go. Not because of the rules or the pack, but because he wants me to experience the mate bond if its out there, he’d rather be miserable than have me miss out on the chance of finding my fated other.

Isaac’s warm gaze is on me as I pull away again, his hand lifting to my face to brush the tears away with his thumb.

‘You are never going to be my bed buddy’ he murmurs, ‘you are worth so much more than that baby. You deserve to be a man’s everything, his mate, his best friend, the person he hates to leave each morning and the one he’s desperate to get back too each night.

I don’t ever want you to accept less than that, not from me or anyone else. You have to do this Rae, you have to take at least one shot at finding your mate. I know the odds are stacked against you and maybe you are right, maybe you don’t have a mate, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.’

I lean into his hand, rubbing my cheek against the roughness of his palm, ‘and if I go and nothing happens?’ I ask, ‘then what?’

He leans down, kissing me sweetly, the salt from my tears mingling with our tongues as he slowly coaxes me to open for him. The answer is already there, between us, in this k**s, he doesn’t have to voice it, I know.