SWNOVELS Chapter Harsh realities
The following morning Delta Alek was waiting for Toni after she met with the Prince, he and Mattie were gutted, she had been interesting to have on their floor, far too mature and reserved for her age, but gradually, she’d been letting them in to see the real Toni, the one that had a good sense of humour and a twinkle in her eye.
Seeing the impact of the news on her feels like a punch to his gut, it’s in her eyes, the spark and light that was so clearly there yesterday has gone, instead, they look flat, almost dead.
“Hey Toni, want to talk about it?”
He asks softly, trying to encourage her to open up.
“I have to go pack”
Her voice was cold, body language closed off.
“Toni, look at me please”
His voice is soft, almost comforting, but Toni knows no comfort can be offered at this point, she closes her eyes briefly before she turns to look at Delta Alek, not sure what he expects of her.
“You can talk to me about how you are feeling, about anything that concerns you ok?”
He’s trying to reach out to her wolf, but can feel she’s buried Tyra deep in her mind, he’s not sure if it’s because her wolf is angry or it’s to cut herself off from everyone around her.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
Her answer was polite but short, but not fully able to hide the pain in her voice.
Toni isn’t sure what he wants to talk about, it’s not like she has a chance to change anyone’s mind, that was something that was made clear in her meeting with the Prince and Alpha.
She was now a ward of the Royal pack, but apart from being not force marked and an investigation if she were to die, the rest, well she guesses time will tell, but to her, it’s like she’d been thrown out with the trash or maybe back to the metaphorical prison she had been in.
Turning, she walked into the depths of the packhouse to her room, feeling the need to be alone before she lost control, she’d foolishly allowed herself to hope.
There’s a part of her that wants to run, but where would she go, not even sure if she’d make it off Pack lands.
If this was their decision, she’d accept it with her self-respect intact, walking with her head held high, she would not run, risking being taken back in chains wasn’t an option she would accept.
Packing quickly, she joins Beta Dan, Delta Alek and another two warriors in the car, for the journey back to her original pack.
Toni could feel the eyes of both the Beta and Delta on her the closer the car got to the Nightshade pack lands, she’s given the bare minimum responses to their questions, eventually, they stopped trying to make conversation with her and now, she’s just left with them watching her.
Delta Alek is sitting in the back with her, Beta Dan in the passenger seat but he doesn’t need to turn around, he’s got an extra mirror allowing him to see into the back, it’s a default in this kind of vehicle, she’d seen a lot of them back at their pack.
She doesn’t acknowledge their looks, concentrating on pushing herself into the Gamma persona, cold, distant with all emotions locked away, the person the pack and more importantly the Alpha expects to see, the only one the Alpha will accept from her.
After seven hours of travelling, they cross the pack line to the Nightshade pack, in the late afternoon light, Tyra howls with joy inside Toni’s head, finally, she understands she’s on home ground and Toni can almost feel her puff up in power.
She knows this is our pack by the difference in the border tug, she just doesn’t understand what that means for them yet, to her it’s a feeling of home, to Tonia, it’s a prison, the two sides of her, for once, not in harmony.
The feeling of betrayal when they’d informed her that morning she was to be returned immediately to this pack, had made her want to be sick.
It was probably done like that so that she had no time to run and after two weeks, there was a big possibility that she would have tried.
It’s likely James was established as the trainee by that time and her old Alpha wasn’t a petty one to remove him from his position unless it was a Royal order or he wasn’t doing well, both of which she felt was unlikely.
She’d begun to have hope that there could be a permanent place in the Royal pack, starting to relax in the company of others, it always took her a while to trust, but she’d enjoyed the normality of the routine and allowing herself to open up to Alek’s mate Mattie, who, like an older sister, was always checking up on Tonia in little ways, but now she felt it was all fake.
She didn’t have long before it was back to the reality of her previous life, one she was technically born into, but she’d left to make a change, alter the course of her life and take control, but, she knows, somewhere in a past life she must have displeased the Goddess to have been condemned, back to the life she’d escaped from.
As the main packhouse comes into sight, she focuses on controlling her wolf, they’ve had a long conversation on the journey about the likely punishment she will take.
Her wolf isn’t happy about the punishment but is looking forward to being part of a pack, the reality of which she’s yet to discuss with Tyra, she’s proud, and like Toni, she’s not young mentally, but not fully grown, but wolves have a wisdom and understanding that you can tap into from their ancestors.
It's an instinctual belief in the pack and rank structure, and the shared body gives them the ability to share in the punishments, so Toni needs her to be calm and controlled to get through their ordeal.
The full leadership are waiting alongside them are the next Alpha and Beta, eighteen and seventeen respectively, with a large portion of the pack curious about not only the visit from the Royal pack but probably more curious about what will be done with her, the Trainee Gamma that ran away, the first in the pack's history to do so.
Getting out of the car with the Beta and Delta, she walks forward with confidence, showing no hesitation or fear, standing to attention in front of the Alpha, head bowed, her body easily reverting to the moves that had been drilled into her for years
“Royal Beta, we thank you for returning our missing pup, we would have been more than happy to come to collect her, to save you the trip.
We didn’t expect such an honour of a visit from you as well.”
Alpha Vincent Davies is pleasant and welcoming to the Royal party, if this is all you saw of him, you would have no reason to know he’s an evil man, one that thrives on inflicting pain.
“You know we regularly like to meet up with packs, plus the King is asking us to start completing a five-yearly census and review of his kingdom, to identify the needs of the packs, to help him form new plans and legislation.
We are starting with the ones that will be the easiest” the Beta smiles pleasantly
“That way the other packs will comply when we turn up unannounced, so we’ll have to trespass on your hospitality for a few days.”
“It would be our pleasure, Beta Dan.”
The smile the Alpha gives him is only on his mouth, the rest of his face, including his eyes, may as well be frozen, registering no emotion, had he been a human, he would be a walking warning for too much Botox use.
“I’ve arranged suitable accommodation for yourself and those you travelled with for the night, we’d be happy to extend that for as long as needed.
I hope you will accept some refreshments with us once I have spoken to our errant pup.”
His eyes track towards where Toni is standing, even with her head bowed, she can feel his gaze on her as if it’s an invasive force, peeling away her layers of protection to see inside her.
“Look at me, Antonia”
His voice is harsh and filled with command and she raises her head but immediately flicks her eyes down, she’s no fool, staring him in the eye will incur further punishment, she had trained under him for two years before she ran and knew his methods well.
“It’s been too long Antonia”
His eyes are hard, even if he’s trying to make his voice one with concern
“Alpha, I apologise for the trouble I caused and present myself here for judgement.”
Everything here is an act, nothing is truly real.
Toni understands that all too well, she has to present herself in a particular way, to both the pack and the Leadership. Her life holds a fake quality, there is no living life how she chooses anymore, only how the Alpha determines she may live.
“Beta Dan, I understand from the Royal Alpha that you’ve placed her as a ward of the Royal pack, but do you have any issues with this pack member receiving punishment in accordance with our own pack rules?”
The Alpha asks politely
“None at all, this is your pack.”
There’s a hesitant quality to the Beta’s voice, barely noticeable but there, the words lack the true sincerity of someone who believes in them
“As a ward of our pack, we’ll be able to take stricter action if she runs and, on any pack that picks her up without informing us.”
Dan smiles, it’s forced but Alpha Vincent doesn’t even look at him for longer than a second, Toni is pretty sure he hasn’t even noticed how forced the response is.
“Antonia, everyone needs to learn that punishments apply to all, rank is no protection you understand this principle?”
His cold voice prepares her for the judgement to come, he’s telling her she will be used as an example to the pack, and she’s well aware of his methods.
“I do and ranked wolves and those descended from them should be held to a higher standard Alpha, as we are all taught” Toni replies by rote immediately.
“Splendid, I’m glad our lessons have not been forgotten.
Given the fact you are still a minor, I will reduce the punishment.
You will receive a total of eight lashes from a normal whip, two each from myself, the Beta and each of our young leaders, it will be good training for them on how to execute punishment.”
There’s a smirk hidden beneath his face, it reaches the sides of his lips, visible only to her, the rest will see the fake reluctance he’s displaying.
“Thank you, Alpha, for your mercy”
Toni replies holding her face blank, the pack is buzzing, the usual punishment for leaving pack lands without permission is four strikes with a cane for a minor under sixteen, there is no mercy in his actions, and both she and the pack understand this, she is today’s lesson and one the Alpha will enjoy.
“Afterwards, you will have twenty-four hours to recuperate, then you are expected to be back in full training.
You need to prove you are still able to be the next Gamma after so long out of training, if you fail to achieve standards set within seven days, your Gamma rank will be stripped from you.”
His eyes wander across her body, noting she’s kept the athletic build and warrior stance, assessing how she has changed after three years away, he finds himself pleasantly surprised, she doesn’t appear to have let her fitness go, he waits, to see if she answers his underlying threat.
“Then may I request my punishment be applied immediately Alpha, I’m keen to get back into training.”
Her voice is respectful and calm, showing outward keenness, inwardly she can feel the reluctance in her body, her mouth is dry and she feels sick, masking it all behind the cold exterior look that has come back to her all too easily, although her face is far paler than it normally is.
In reality, she has neither the desire to take the punishment, nor to restart training with this pack, but she knows she can cut down on the mental anguish by making this request and she knows what she needs to do, to survive here.
In her time in the pack, she’d seen it in others, the sooner it’s over, the less stress there is and she can learn to move on and retake her place in this pack, her prison.