The Mafia Princess And Her Bodyguard

My heart is shattered, I have lost Trinity yet again. She was so close within my reach and it fell apart before it could even start. I love this woman so damn much but I cannot be with her. It fucking kills me, it is eating me up alive, and god, there is nothing that I can do about it.

And now I have to go face Vic and tell him that I took my eye off the ball and I nearly got her killed. I can't do this, I am supposed to be strong, but I feel weak to the bone. I don't and I cannot fucking do this. I cannot lose Trinity.

But I have to, giving her up will be the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. Seeing those brown eyes swim in nothing but sorrow, is the worst torture that I have ever felt. I feel like falling into an abyss and simply disappear. Trinity, Trinity Stone, I cannot have her. God this hurts.

I need to pull myself together for that damn driveway is coming up and it is coming up fast. And what else is coming up fast is the last intimate moment that I will ever spend with her. I want so desperately to take her in my arms and just never let go. I wish I could take her away from here, but I cannot do a thing.

I cannot do a thing.

So as I take that last corner, I look in those eyes that make me crumble in so many ways, and...my heart says goodbye. But the moment is too hard for her to bear, she only but turn her head away. It kills me, it rips my heart open and tears my soul apart. I lay in waste, I have just pushed the only thing, the only fucking thing that was good in my life, I have just pushed it away. God knows that I will never forgive myself, but I need to do this for Trinity even if it means that we shall never be together.

Ya, Colton, you messed this one up.

And I messed it up good. But it is time to hide these tears away for we are here where my fate shall be determined. I need her to understand one thing though before we leave this car.

"Trinity, I love you."

Ya, that is me. These damn things won't stop running down my face. Then in my last attempt to have one thing before I let go, I try to take her hand and guess what, now she is pushing me away. Yes, I know she is only but protecting her heart

now.

But fuck, Colton, why did you have to break her.

So I watch as she makes an elegant exit, she is holding herself together far better than I am. And hold she does as I watch her sway those hips from side to side, watching her move even further away from me. She in that damn red stilettos, I will never be able to slip them off again, and as I watch her disappear through the door, the last bit that was Colton Cruise falls into a black hole.

I cannot do this. I need to fucking pull myself together for if Vic sees me falling apart, my ass is out the door and then I will lose her completely. And it is with this in mind that I make my way inside. As I pass the kitchen I can see Alexa standing there with Trinity in her arms. We both know that she is not crying because she got hurt in the accident, Alexa knows that we have just said our final goodbyes.

And goodbye is not what I want to happen, so I make the longest walk of my life to Vic's office. Now if I thought that I could hide my heartache from him, then ya, Colton the man can see through you.

Now, I don't know if he is going to rip my heart out even more than it is lying on the floor, but something is about to happen and god, I am not prepared for it. So before he questions this look, this craving to be with his daughter in my eyes, I prepare myself to give him the news, the very thing that we were trying not to happen.

Ya, here it goes.

"Vic, we ran into trouble today."

"What trouble Colton? You look pretty messed up?"

I take the biggest breath that I would ever take in my life and even move two steps away from the man that is just about to kill me.

"We had a hit today, she is fine, but fuck for a minute there it was touch and go."

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Not even saying a single word to me, Vic bursts through the door in search of Trinity. Now I don't know if he is going to come back and break every bone in my body, so I wait. To say that my damn ass is not trembling would be the biggest understatement of the year. I can simply not take it if he pulls me away from her completely. I would rather spend a lifetime being the shadow in the corner, than not having her in my life at all.

So as I start pacing the floor, I am trying to think of all the reasons why he should let me stay. I have already torn us apart, I cannot let Vic tore it even further. And just as I am about to give up, just as I am about to walk out of Vic's office to never come back, he comes back through the door.

He is furious.

I don't know what she has told him, but I am willing to take whatever needs to come my way. So it is with tormented anticipation that I wait for him to speak. "Colton, I want more of your guys here. She is not happy, but I told her I cannot let her out again."

"Vic, I am so damn sorry, I took my eye off it for one second too long. The very second that would have made the difference if we were standing here or not."

"Hey, stop that. We all knew it was going to come. I am just grateful it was you that was with her. Now, I want you to move into the house close to her. I am not taking any chances."

"But, Vic..."

"No Colton, this is not negotiable. You need to protect my little princess. Please."

With that, I nearly burst into tears again.

For fuck sakes, get a grip, Colton.

But that is not going to happen, for the minute I step out of Vic's office, those stuttering breaths come back and take over to suffocate my chest. And it is those very same breaths that need to calm down for I am stepping into the kitchen to take my sorry ass and apologize to Alexa.

"Alexa, I..."

"Colton, don't even start. You love that woman, now protect her. Do you understand me?"

"Loud and clear."

Then out the corner of my eye, I see Trinity in the lounge all curled up in a bundle, the greatest desire in me wants to go and take her in my arms. But I can't. I need to protect her. I will always love her, but I have to let her go.

And go, is what I do out that back door to go pack my shit and bring it in here. If Vic thinks for one minute that he is making it better for us, well he ain't, being so close to her is going to be like a death sentence. How can you have what you want so close to you but you can't take it.

And take, well I can't do that anymore either. As I step into what I used to call my home, my body crashes to the floor and that incredible pain consumes me. It presses every breath of fresh air from my lungs. It is with trembling hands and an uncontrollable sob that I pack my things together. Then, just for what is a brief moment too long, my heart feels happy, I am going to be close to her. As close as I can get.

So I take what I can get and make my way back into the Stone mansion, I take my ass up to the very room next to hers. Now if I think that it would go unnoticed, I find her standing in the doorway of her room. There is that light in her eyes, that sparkle that I fell in love with the very first day I laid my eyes on her. She looks at me and softly whispers my name,

"Colton please, please don't do this. I need you, dammit I love you. Don't do this to me, don't do this to us. Please."

"God, Trinity, I love you, but..."

And then what do I do?