SWNOVELS Chapter 36 Grief
They returned to the palace and Luna was shown to her room. It was nothing like her old room at the house that she'd only called home for a little under two weeks. I was a room fit for a queen. The bed was huge. The walk-in closet was the size of her old room which she had thought to be oversized. She shuddered to think how she would be able to fill it up now with no parents. Soccorah helped her unpack rather pack her closet. It took them a few hours to get it done. Maids were sent but Luna had insisted on doing it on her own.
She really wanted to keep busy. She was trying her best to keep from crying and she knew that if she didn't keep busy the tears would come. She didn’t want to feel weak. She threw herself down on the bed and asked Soccorah about school. “I took a week off to spend with you but if it takes forever, I'm happy to stay. You know I hate Anatomy.” Soccorah joked. Luna laughed “I know you do but you don't have to do that. I will be fine. It's not my first loss, remember. I just thought that after all that's happened that I would get a chance at being happy. I really thought that this was it.”
“Hey you're selling yourself short. You have so much going for you. You have me and Luca, and his dad is so fond of you. You will never have to be alone again.” Soccorah explained. “What do you mean I have Luca, I have barely seen Luca since I got here, he's been busy. I only saw him after I fell sick and then I tried to visit him when he was out of it. I don't even know how he’s doing. Luca doesn't have the time to worry about me. I don't expect him too.” She said with a hopeless look in her eyes. She then looked at Soccorah and smiled. “Thank you so much for coming. Your presence has meant everything to me but You don't have to stay. In fact, I insist. I need you to go back. I will be fine. I need to stand on my own again. If I need you, I will call ok.”
“Luna, there is so much that you don't know. Luca is probably feeling so guilty right now. Your uncle saved his life. The knife that Lydia used to kill your uncle was meant for Luca. Your uncle jumped in front of him and took it. Luca can't face you as yet. But he will. He loves you too much to stay away for too long.”
“What? Luca shouldn't feel guilty. He didn't kill my uncle Lydia did and what do you mean he loves me too much. He didn't even notice me at the ball. He was too busy drooling all over Nina. He only came when I fell ill out of duty, I guess. But you know what I will go see him if I'm allowed maybe tomorrow to see how he’s doing and if anything, to tell him that he has nothing to feel guilty about. Now get lost. I'm going to rest now.” Luna told Soccorah.
When she was alone in her room, she sat alone on her bed reminiscing the old times with her uncle and how much he meant to her and vice versa. She found comfort in those memories. As she flipped through the album, she came across some old photos of her biological parents and she saw an old photo of her mother and something was stuck in the back of the photo. She took it out an there was another photo of her mother and Lydia beneath It, sisters forever was written. Luna couldn't believe it. The woman who had raised her was actually her aunt. Nina was her cousin and she had nothing but remorse for her right now because she had killed her family and tried to kill Luca.
Luna thought for a moment what reason Lydia would have had to hurt her own family. She was still out there. A maid came in to bring her some supper. She gladly accepted it and after supper asked Soccorah to stay with her the night as she secretly didn't want to be alone. The next morning, she awoke to help Soccorah pack and waved her goodbye. “I will call you every day. Love you.” She walked back to the house and asked to be driven to the parlor to see her uncle's body as he had not done so as yet.
She walked into the parlor and she was taken to his body. He was so cold. She knew that he was no longer there but she ran her hand through his hair and talked to him. She told him how thankful she was to have known him and that she would never forget what he had done for her. She apologized for not getting Luca's attention at the ball as she knew what an honor it would have been for him had she been chosen. She also thanked him for saving Luca's life. She confessed her love for him to her uncle and left.
She returned to the car and when she got to the house Luca's father had been waiting for her. He was worried about her. Seeing the concern on his face she smiled at him and greeted. “I am fine. I just needed to see him. There were things that I needed to tell him that I hadn't before his death. Thank you so much for having me and for taking care of me but I will be fine. Please tell Luca that I am not angry with him, I am happy that he is alive. Please. It looks like he doesn’t want to see me. I have been calling but he doesn't return my calls.”
He hugged her and she went to her room to be alone. She threw herself down on her bed and cried her eyes out until she was weak. She was sad about her uncle but she knew that he would want her to be happy and she was not. All she could think about was Luca. His well being and how he might be avoiding her out of guilt.
She wanted to see him. She wanted to talk to him to tell him that she was so happy that he was alive, that she couldn't bear the thought of losing him. She loved her uncle but she had been hung up on Luca secretly from the first time she saw his wolf in her dreams. She had yet to meet her uncle. Her heart broke knowing that she could not have him, that he didn't see the need to be with her now that she needed him the most. She felt unimportant and cried some more, this time not over her uncle but realizing that she had also lost he Luca. She never stood a chance with him.