SWNOVELS Chapter 71
FREYA'S P.O.V
There was a ringing in my ear. I tried to shake it off but it wouldn't leave. It was loud and incessant and I was sure it was the very thing that woke me. I let out a groan and lifted my hand towards my ears hoping it would stop but it didn't, it just dissolved into long beeps.
I managed to coax my eyes open and was assaulted by the blinding white light. My head began pounding and I lifted my hands to cover my face but it did nothing to help with the headache that had already started forming. I wasn't sure how long it took me to adjust because it felt like hours but I finally opened my eyes and I realized that I was in a hospital room.
I was a little groggy but I knew it was the same hospital room I was kept in the last time. It didn't escape my notice that I had been in the hospital more times in the span of a year than I had in my entire life. It struck me as something to worry about/ I sat up straighter and realized the room was completely empty. There were no nurses or doctors and more importantly- no Jaxon.
I found the call button on the desk and pressed it without hesitation. It only took a minute for the nurse to rush in. Her eyes widened when she saw me as if she couldn't believe it. For a second, I thought she was going to rush out of the door again but she made her way over to me slowly.
"Would you like some water?" she asked and I nodded suddenly realizing how parched my throat was.
She poured me a glass from the jug on the bedside table. I gulped it down greedily while she checked over me presumably to be sure that I was healing the way I should. I tried to remember what happened but everything was a blur. I remembered the drama in the field and being stabbed but everything after that was hazy. I couldn't remember the trip to the hospital but I did remember trying to warn the doctors about- SHIT.
I looked down at my stomach. There was a bandage wrapped around it. I figured it was because of the morphine in my system that I wasn't feeling the pain. I reached down and softly trailed my finger over my stomach. I wasn't a doctor but I knew that there was a very low possibility that I left that field still pregnant. He had stabbed me directly in my stomach.
"Do you," I began unable to form the words but the nurse couldn't meet my eyes. "Does Jaxon know?"
"The king has been informed," I let out a sigh of her words. "The doctors tried everything they could, your majesty. We are very sorry for your loss."
I gave her a small smile that I was sure looked more like a grimace because I could not form words. She bowed to me and left the room. Despite the weakness in my body, I sat up completely straight and buried my face into my hands. No tears would exit my body; the pain I was feeling refused to use a physical channel to exit. I felt numb to the whole thing. It was my fault.
I couldn't imagine how pissed Jaxon was. He must have come to the same conclusion that I did. If I had just stayed in the bunker like I was asked then none of this would have happened. If I had sat still then our child would still be here. My guilt threatened to crush me like a stone. It clawed up my neck and wrapped itself around my throat until it was difficult to breathe. The more I tried, the harder it got until I was clawing at my chest and gasping for air.
The door to the room flew open and Jaxon rushed in. He looked half crazed with his hair sticking up on ends like he had run his hands through it one too many times and his ruffled clothing. He had obviously taken a shower and the wound on his shoulder was healed but there was a hollow look in his eyes that I had to look away from. Something inside of him looked broken and I couldn't bear to see the problems that I had caused.
"Freya," his voice was soft as he made his way over to me but I kept my eyes on the ground. "Freya, baby, please look at me."
He made his way over to me and softly stroked my cheek. I allowed myself the luxury of leaning into his touch once. I knew he would pull away from me soon but I wanted to bask in his comfort before then. I wanted to savor this moment and remember it before the inevitable time when he would look upon me with anger and hatred for killing his child.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled softly and I felt his confusion. "I should have stayed in the bunker. If I had just stayed then the baby- I am so sorry Jaxon. I didn't want any of this to happen."
He cupped my chin and lifted my face until I was staring at him. "You knew that you were pregnant."
I nodded. "I took a test and it was positive. I didn't plan for any of this to happen. I wanted to tell you but Noxian's men were at the border and I didn't think it was fair if I sent you into battle knowing that I was pregnant."
"Why did you leave the bunker?" I expected more anger in his voice but he just sounded confused. "If you knew that you were pregnant then why did you leave? You should have stayed and protected yourself."
"You were in danger," my words hung in the air between us. "I don't know how but I felt it. I felt you about to die and I would have never been able to live with myself if I let that happen. I know you're upset and rightfully so because this was your child as well and-"
The words were barely out of my mouth when he kissed me. With his hands cupping my cheeks, he pulled me in for a dizzying kiss that had my head spinning. I had banked and prepared myself for everything including his yelling and probable rejection but I never assumed that he would kiss me.
When he pulled back, he let his forehead rest against mine. "You were willing to risk it all because you thought I was dying."
"I didn't really think about it to be honest. I just couldn't let you die."
He let out a ragged breath from deep within his chest. "The last few days have been torture without you, Freya. I kept wondering how I didn't notice and what I could have done different. If there is anyone who should be apologizing right now, Freya, it is me."
I pulled back from him- not because of what he said but because of one statement. I saw the hurt etched on his face so I was quick to rectify.
"Did you just say the past few days?" I asked and he nodded slowly. "Jaxon, how long have I been out?" he hesitated and I knew I was not going to like the answer. "Tell me."
"Five days."
At first, I thought I heard wrong and I almost laughed but then, I caught a glimpse of his face and I knew that I heard correctly and it was not a laughing matter. What I didn't understand was why I was out for five days.
"How?" I managed out. "Why? Was it like five whole days?"
"He stabbed you with a poisoned dagger that I believe was meant for me," Jaxon explained and once again, I saw.guilt shroud his features. It was a slow acting
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poison and the doctors didn't even notice until after they had finished with the surgery. It was the second day after and you just flat fined. I was sitting right here holding your hand and you just stopped breathing."
I could not imagine how traumatic that must have been for him. He probably already knew about the baby at that time and I proceeded to flat line, opened my mouth but the words wouldn't leave. There was
nothing I could have said in that I moment that would have made
things better so I simply stroked his
cheek to remind him that I was
there. I curled my fingers into the
base of his neck and pulled him into
me.
"I'm here right now," I whispered softly. "I am alive and I am not going anywhere. You can't get rid of me that easily."
A small chuckle left him. "I am never letting you go, do you understand me? If you leave this earth I will follow right after you because you are my entire life and without you, I have nothing to live for. Without you, I am lost."
The doctors returned shortly after that and they took off the bandage. I was a little hesitant because I didn't want to see the wound but they assured me that my quick healing would have kicked in and it would probably just be scarring.
Thankfully, they were right. It was
just a light pink scar on my abdomen. It was a reminder that there was no baby inside of me anymore but it also served as a reminder that my mate was alive and well. I tried to use the latter as a consolation for the former but it only worked so well. I wished there was a world where both lives could have
been saved.
I was ushered into clean clothes by the nurses while Jaxon worked on my discharge. This time, they didn't have any problems with me leaving as long as Jaxon assured them that I was going to get a lot of bec rest. Once I was dressed, Jaxon all but carried me into the car despite my protests of being able to walk.
By the time we got to the palace, everyone was staring. I didn't know why or what had happened within those five days but everyone was looking at me weirdly. It wasn't like the hateful stares I got before but more of confusion and admiration. As soon as Jaxon and I got into the room I turned to him.
"Did something happen while I was out?" I asked and he shook his head.
"The people found out what you did, how you sacrificed yourself to save me. You are their hero."
"I didn't-"
"Don't sell yourself short, Freya. Without you, I would have died, if not by Noxian's hand then by the poison."
My entire world froze and spun on its axis. "What do you mean by poison? Did he also hit you with a poisoned weapon?"
He shook his head. "The doctors told me that someone else had been poisoning me. We don't know who it is or why but we do know one thing. If you did not step out when you did, I would have fallen and you would have too because of the bond."