SWNOVELS Chapter 47 - Nikolaos
“Kneel, dog.”
Two words spoken in my mother’s voice and the dormant memories come hurtling toward me at full speed. I can clearly feel the lick of the whip on my back, the cigarettes put out on my skin, the way her dagger separated my flesh...
And the guilt coursing through me when one of her clients brought my body to climax.
/“Get to your feet, Nikolaos! You cannot let her win!"/ Knox urges me, but his voice becomes fainter and fainter until I can see his mouth moving with no sound coming out.
Shameful thoughts keep me prisoner even as I hear Mia call to me, begging me to get to my feet. But how do I tell her these thoughts are like silver chains holding me down and forcing my submission? How do I explain that I can clearly remember - no I FEEL everything I went through at her hands?
I thought I was over the fear; I thought Mia's love had pulled me out of the depths, but I was so, so wrong. My soul is still ruined and my mind is still trapped in the past. Right now, I am not the Alpha with the second-largest territory... Now, I am nothing but a slave to my mother's commands.
The scent of blood is like a cigarette burn to my memories and I feel someone pulling me to my feet. “Come back to me, Alpha. I'm getting the revenge you should have gotten a long time ago.” Her soft voice makes me blink, and when the last of my past images fade away, I am looking into the wide, determined eyes of the one person who loved me even through my shameful past. “M-Mia?"
Her smile is like a sliver of sunlight forcing the darkness out of my mind, but then she lets go of me and turns me around. The sight I am greeted with is a bloody trail leading to the crawling figure of my mother.
I suck in an unsteady breath, not used to seeing my abuser weak and on her knees. That's where she put me, that's where she loved seeing me....so what's going on?
“This ends tonight,” Mia says, then she walks over to my mother and grabs her by the hair before pulling her over to where I am standing and forcing her head down.
"Apologize to him and mean it,” Mia growls. I glance at Mia and see nothing but steely determination in her eyes as she threatens my abuser. This won't work, though...I know her well enough.
My mother laughs unsteadily, then she peers up at me and grins. “I will not apologize for what I did,” she starts and I feel Knox stir. “Why lie about something I so thoroughly enjoyed taking part in-"
Knox takes over my consciousness and I allow our combined anger and hurt to make the decision I couldn't make so long ago. My fist slams into the center of her chest, and I grip her heart tightly in my hand.
That bitch tried to shame my Luna while I did nothing but fall head-first into my memories.
When she comes out of the walk-in wearing one of my t-shirts, I run over to her and wrap my arms tightly around her tiny body. “I am so sorry, Mia,” I say while listening to her heartbeat.
She holds onto me and lets out a long, painful breath. “You have no reason to apologize to me, Nikolaos. That wretched woman used the trauma she inflicted against you; and since you haven't truly dealt with it, it came back. There's no reason to blame yourself-"
I break off the embrace and frown at her. “Mia, I left you to fend for yourself. You could have died!” Smiling, she cups my cheek and kisses my lips. “And yet, here I am. We're Alpha and Luna, my love; if you fall, I have to be the one to rise, and vice versa. You didn't choose a weak woman who constantly needs your protection, you know," she says.
Yet again I wonder why the Goddess blessed me with someone like her.
“I love you,” I say, meeting her lips with a soft kiss. “You're an amazing woman, Mia.”
She kisses me back and smiles against my lips. “And I love you, my Alpha. But I think you have some unfinished business to tend to.”
The smile vanishes from my face and I raise a questioning eyebrow at her. “I do?”
She nods and says, “I caught some of the chatter over the mind link; Maxim is waiting for you in the office with something quite odd.”
Maxim did say there was something I needed to see, but right now my responsibility lies with Mia and Ares. “It can wait-"
“No, it can't. Place Panzer inside here and Armata outside and I'll be fine to sleep, then go to see what your Beta has,” she interjects with a bossy tone I find incredibly sexy. She must see the desire on my face because she rolls her eyes. “Mind out the gutter, Alpha!”
I can't help but chuckle before planting another kiss on her lips. “Please, get some rest. I'll be back soon.”
Sighing, she walks over to the bed and falls down. “I have every intention of sleeping for a week straight, thank you very much,” she says before crawling under the covers. I give her another look of longing before I leave the bedroom.
The Twins walk towards me and I give them their instructions. “No one goes in there, not even Maxim, without my say-so0,” I remind them and I see them visibly flinching at their previous fuck up. When I walk into my office I see Maxim holding up the severed heads of my mother and aunt to a bloody, kneeling figure. His eyes flicker to me and a grin slips onto his lips before he kicks the man backward.
My eyes fall on the man as he cries out in pain, then rage has me in its grip. Arms constrict around me and hold me back from tearing out Josef's throat and Maxim walks towards me, placing his hands on my shoulders.
“Before you give him the death he so rightfully deserves, you need to hear what he has to say,” he says, and I frown at his reaction. Maxim is a kill-first ask-questions-later type of warrior, so what does Josef know that might help me?
I nod and Divan releases my arms and I walk over to the bloody lump before pulling the fucker to his feet. “Speak and you might just get a swift death,” I say and he must know I am lying.
No one deserves a swift death, much less this cunt.
Josef's eyes scan the room, dread seeping into his scent when he sees the calm in my eyes. Knox is just about ready to murder, but I manage to keep him in place.
“Melodiya and Mariyah,” he stutters, saying the names of my mother and aunt. “Are the daughters of Evalina and Demitrios Karras. Mariyah is - was, my real mother. She is the one who sent me here to spy on you for the Karras Elders, and my real father...is Mischa Popov.”
I have to take an actual step back to absorb this news. Josef is my half-brother - his father is the man who had Bastien’s mate killed -Mikhail's fucking father- and the Elders put him here to spy on me.
"Why did they want me and Mia dead?” is the only question out of my mouth as my hand goes to his throat. "Answer."
I feel him swallow deeply before he answers me. “B-because they wanted to put Mikhail in charge,” he says what I already suspected and my claws slide like a knife through butter through his throat. The sound of blood gurgling at his throat makes me roll my eyes and I breathe out a long sigh. "Get this cleaned the fuck up. 1 am going to have a long shower and sleep next to my fucking Luna. This,” I say, gesturing to Josef in his death throes. “Will be dealt with when I can think clearly.”
“Yes, Alpha,” Maxim and Divan answered and I walked out of my office and back to Mia. After I shower, I climb into bed next to her - my head didn’t even hit the pillow before sleep dragged me under.