SWNOVELS Chapter 34 - Mia
I clench my jaw tight while Dr. Lilah is doing her check-up. I've not said a word since I've been in her office, and she’s asked me more than once if I'm okay.
Ever since Star has returned, I'm starting to see more of what I couldn't back then. For starters, I'm still apprehensive about Maxim, but I know I can trust him. Dr. Lilah on the other hand...there's something majorly off about her.
"Well, everything seems to be in order, Alpha. Her vitals look good, and the baby is healthy; the only thing I am not too happy about is the lack of sleep,” she says while looking at Nikolaos and me from across the desk.
“It's getting better,” I say, wringing my dress in my lap. “It's been really difficult to stay asleep lately.” Dr. Lilah nods while Nikolaos takes my hand in his and gives it a little squeeze. Whenever I go to sleep now, I see Mikhail's face looming over me, raising a knife above his head and stabbing me repeatedly. I usually wake up screaming and thrashing around until Nikolaos manages to calm me down.
It's been days now, but I think it's getting better.
"Hmm, okay, I will take your word for it. However, if it doesn’t change by the next time I see you, I will have to prescribe you something to sleep better, okay?” she says while sitting forward and steepling her fingers together under her chin.
“Whatever you think is best, Doctor Lilah,” I say with a tight smile, hoping she doesn't see through my fake positivity.
She nods again, and we leave her office, with Nikolaos being suspiciously quiet. In fact, he's been quiet most of the morning when I'm used to him taking charge when it comes to me.
“Is everything okay?" I finally ask him when we're in the kitchen fixing something to eat. He looks at me while taking a few things from the refrigerator, then he sighs and it immediately tells me something is not right.
“I haven't heard from Maxim's group in over two weeks; they left just before you woke up,” he says with concern plastered clearly on his face. “If he’s gone for another week, I'll have to lead the search party to find him.”
My eyes widen and trepidation sets in my heart; Nikolaos would have to go into Mikhail's territory. These brothers grew up with nothing but pain; one suffered trauma through his childhood, while the other suffered it in his adult years. How are they both so strong? I managed to hold on for a few years, but I was close to giving up a few times.
Not only that, but Isla was Bastien’s mate! The one chosen for him specifically, only to have her ripped away in the worst possible way. There is no way a wound like that could ever heal.
“So the Popov Alphas have a history with your family, then?” I say in a low voice. “Bastien didn't look tortured at all.”
Nikolaos sighs. “He hides it well, but he’s still not over it all. I mean, I am the complete opposite; if something like that had to happen to you, I would rampage. But that's why he’s the heir and I'm the spare. I allow my emotions to control me, whereas Bastien always has a clear head.”
I cup his face and shoot him a glare. “You are not a spare! You're both equally important to your packs, so don't speak about yourself like that!”
He places his hands over mine and smiles at me. “Thank you, but being born a few minutes after him kind of put that label on me. It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to, though. But I am going off topic now; this is supposed to be about Maxim.”
Oh, that's true. I place my hands on my thighs and motion for him to continue.
“Maxim and I grew up together - the spare and the tarnished heir - so we know how it feels to be left at the bottom of the barrel. When my mother’s abuse started, I saw less and less of him until I was “sent away to boarding school’ and never saw him until I crawled into my bedroom that night.” “Before he told Bastien about me, he cared for me and nursed me to health. He didn't poke or prod, didn't look down at me in disgust, or revel in the fact that something bad had happened to me. He stayed by my side in silence, and when I eventually spoke up, he vowed to find them and bring me their heads.”
My eyes grow wide at this revelation; I never knew Maxim was this devoted to Nikolaos! I mean, it would be a shock to anyone; what with the rumors going around about Maxim secretly wanting the title of Alpha.
Then again, Nikolaos did mention before that they use the above rumor to their advantage when weeding out untrustworthy alliances.
“Maxim sounds like he was more of a brother to you than Bastien,” I say, but he shakes his head. “They're both my brothers, both loyal to me in their own ways. Bastien tried to be there for me before, but our father didn't want him mixing with me. None of us had proper childhoods if you think about it,” he says, then he takes my hands in his and kisses my fingers.
"You don't ever have to worry about me pushing Ares into the role of Alpha. Being born under my father's thumb, I know what not to do when it comes to raising a child the right way. Well, I suppose there's no correct way, but I'll try my best.”
I throw my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me. “I know, and so will I.”
As much as I try to believe this about myself, I don’t know if I'll ever be a good mother. It's not like I had a very admirable parent figure growing up. But as Nikolaos said, there's no correct way; even so, I don't want to do the wrong thing.
"So that's why I'll need to rescue Maxim if he does not return. It has to be me,” he says with finality and takes a step back from me. “He would do the same if it were me.”
It pains me to hear it, but I know nothing I say will change his mind. If Maxim is in trouble, Nikolaos does need to be the one to rescue him.
I jump from the counter and get on my tiptoes to kiss him. “I understand; hurry back so I don't have to worry about you so much.”
“Well, I'm not leaving you here alone after what happened last time. I'm asking Bastien if you can stay with him while I'm under,” he says after smiling against my lips. “You'll be safe with him.”
I can't protest or argue, because I can see he's made up his mind about this already. So I simply nod and allow him to make us some lunch...without telling him about this uneasy coiling in my stomach.