Chapter 257
Chapter 257: Kylee
All the other pack Alphas and Lunas had left and preparations for Theo’s and Ayla’s Alpha and Luna ceremony were well underway. Luckily, there wouldn’t need to be many changes for the Moonstone ritual, but there were a few things that needed to be handled. I had nervously approached Luna Grace to see if there was anything jobs she would like me to do. I was relieved when she had me help organize the decorations.
I had felt like such an outsider since I had come home. It wasn’t a
surprise, really. I still understood that I had lost the place I had before in the pack. But Amy’s betrayal hadn’t helped. Many people avoided me or gave me dirty looks whenever I walked by. I’m not saying I didn’ t deserve it but it was still hard. Especially after what happened on the day of the executions. If it weren’t for Ayla and Mina, I probably would have just gone back to Blue Fang territory.
But Ayla wanted me here. And after all of the struggles she went through to keep me happy growing up, I knew this was the least I could do. And at least someone was noticing my efforts. Even Annabelle and Maggie were surprisingly kind and supportive toward me. I know it was for Ayla’s benefit, but I wasn’t going to argue with it.
More than anything, I needed to stay busy. Just like Ma said. She was doing the same. Although, I think coming back had been easier for her. Which I was grateful for. I had been worried that if this transition was too hard on her, she’d relapse. However, she seemed to be doing quite well. She had already joined a local AA group and was volunteering at the recovery center not far from the hospital. Seeing her starting to thrive here at home was a big push for me. If she could do it, I could
too.
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Besides, staying busy helped me avoid certain people. Well, one in particular. He had been at the packhouse every day since the ritual was agreed upon. He would have a lot to do to help get the packhouse secured and ready for all the visitors we would be having. He had tried to speak with me a couple of times, but something pulled one of us away before we could talk.
That was fine with me. I wasn’t ready to face that right now. I wasn’t even sure what I was going to do. The nicest thing would be to…
“Hello… Yoohoo,” Ayla’s voice broke through my thoughts, waving one of the ribbons we were working with in front of my face. “Earth to Kylee.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “I was distracted. What’s up?”
“Yeah, I could see that,” Ayla replied. “You alright, kiddo?”
I smiled at hearing her old nickname for me. It had been a while since
she had called me that. We were working on some decoration items and the past few hours had actually felt a little like the old days. So it felt nice to hear from her.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I lied. She raised an eyebrow, seeing right through me. “It’s just been a bigger transition coming home than I thought it would be. But I’m fine. Really.”
Ayla sighed. “I know it’s not easy, Kylee,” she said, brushing a stray hair away from my face. “Just give it time and keep doing what you’re doing. People will move past it eventually.”
“I suppose,” I said absently. “I’m not even sure they should.”
“What are you talking about?” Ayla said, setting a finished vase aside.
“I know you say you’ve forgiven me, but a lot of others haven’t. And I’
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m not sure they should,” I said with a shrug. “I don’t deserve it. I’m still too selfish and vain. I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life from here because my delusional fantasies had me ending up in a very different place than this. That in itself should make anyone run for the hills, whether I deserved to have someone or not. So, the idea of any of them accepting me into the pack let alone as anything more…”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Ayla rushed, stopping the word vomit that was flowing from my mouth. “Where is this coming from? We’ve talked about this. We all make mistakes when we’re young. Yeah, you’ve still got some growing to do, but so does everyone else your age. And a lot who are older. Including me. I’ve seen the work you’ve been putting in, Kylee. You do deserve forgiveness. You deserve to be a member of this pack.”
“Yeah, I know,” I sulked. “I guess I’m just having a pity party. Which I know, I know, I shouldn’t be. I’m in this position because of my own actions and I should do a better job living with the consequences. It just takes a minute when a new one inevitably comes to bite me in the as s.”
“What new consequence?” Ayla asked. “Are you sure there isn’t something else going on?”
“It’s not a big deal,” I insisted. “I really am fine. I’m just working out how to handle it, that’s all. You know, coping tools and such.”
“You sure?”
I smiled at her. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
That part was true, at least. I was just trying to figure out how to cope with what all had happened. But I knew it was only a matter of time before I would have to tell her what it was that was bothering me the most. I just didn’t know how I was going to tell her that I found my
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