The Lost Female Alpha

I woke up early as usual but today was anything but a normal Saturday. Everyone under the age of eighteen has to undergo combat and defence training. Normally I would spend all morning helping Christian training the younger pack members until it came to my age groups turn just before lunch. I didn't need to attend today though, my birthday tomorrow meant that I was being moved to train with the adults.

My first session would be on Monday after school so instead of fighting I had to spend the morning packing. We had told everyone around us that we were going on a trip for my birthday but really we were going to be spending the weekend at our old cottage. At midnight tonight I would shift for the first time and Kerry was worried about anyone from the pack catching sight of me when I changed.

Kerry was more convinced than anyone that I was going to be just like my mom. I know that it caused her a lot of stress but I also knew that there was nothing I could do to make her feel better. We have had this conversation so many times in the last few years. There was nothing I could say to argue against my family history. I hoped that she was wrong but at least one way or another I would know for sure tonight.

It only took me an hour to pack my bag but I stayed in my bedroom for most of the morning. The closer it got to my birthday the more I dreaded it. It was too much responsibility and I didn't feel like I was ready for any of this. I should be looking forward to meeting my mate and going to college but instead I am on the verge of losing everything. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes just from thinking about that potential future.

Ryker and Christian came home just as Kerry and I were putting the finishing touches to lunch. We had lunch together as a family then loaded up the car. Ryker and I settled into the back of the car. I looked out of the window as Christian pulled out of the driveway and started driving towards the outskirts of town.

As we crossed the pack border Ryker started to tell me everything that I missed from training this morning. Without me there to partner with he had ended up with Charlotte while Ava (who Charlotte normally sparred with) ended up with Christian. Apparently Ava was ecstatic, Charlotte is not much of a fighter and Ava was relishing the chance to show off her skills.

"Charlotte is terrible." Ryker moaned. We had set off almost an hour ago and he hadn't stopped complaining once.

I mumbled in agreement.

"At one point she actually squealed and pretended to fall on me." He said, he looked horrified.

"What did you do?" I asked. I could just imagine her doing something like that. I wonder how many guys would have fallen for it or at least gone along with it.

"I moved out of the way and let her fall on the floor." He said.

"I bet she didn't like that." I replied.

"No but she is an embarrassment to the pack. Her parents are strong warriors, I bet they would hate to hear how weak she is." He grumbled.

"I don't think she is weak, I think she is just playing weak for attention." I said.

That may be cynical of me but it was what I had come to believe after years of training alongside her.

"Well, I won't let her get away with it again." He said, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I get it. You get grumpy when you miss out on a good fight." I sighed. I was sick of hearing it. I wanted him to shut up so I could listen to my music. "Exactly. I need some exercise." He said.

"You can go for a run when we reach the cottage." I suggested.

"I could think of something else we could do." He said. Oh no, he did not just say that in front of his parents. I could feel my cheeks heating up.

"You might be able to persuade me to spar with you if you are nice to me." I said.

I looked over and met his gaze, his eyes told me that he had something completely different in mind. I wasn't surprised by his suggestion, only how openly he was making them. I hoped that I was the only one who could read him this well. I glanced towards Christian and Kerry who were sitting in the front of the car. One look at Kerry's face told me that she had read Ryker's not so subtle hint and wasn't very impressed.

"Are you looking forward to meeting your mate Diana?" She asked me.

"Not really." I replied.

"What? Why not? It is the best day of a young werewolves' life when they meet their other half." She said.

She was looking lovingly at Christian. I felt like a lump of emotion was forming in the back of my throat. I have never wanted to be normal more than I did right now. The cottage had a lot of nice memories for us but for me they were all tainted by the pain of losing my parents. In my normal life I could pretend that these things didn't affect me but when I was already upset everything else just hurt all the more.

"If you are right about me I will only have to reject them anyway. It is better that we never meet." I said.

"That is a bit pessimistic, maybe he could help protect you." She said.

"Or maybe I would just get them killed." I said on the verge of tears.

My dad was a powerful alpha of a large pack until they came looking for my mom. If they could get to him they could get to anyone. Maybe my mate would decide that I was too much of a risk to them and hand me over like a gift. "You don't know that, you should at least give him a chance." She said.

She was looking at me with sadness in her eyes. I felt guilty, I didn't want her to feel sorry for me so I just nodded in agreement. It wasn't like I didn't want her to be right. Maybe I am feeling a little pessimistic at the moment and things will look brighter in a few days' time.

I pulled my headphones out of my pocket and stuck them into my ears before anyone could object. I looked through my favourite songs till I found something with a suitably heavy bass and lots of screamy vocals to match my mood.