The Lost Female Alpha

I opened my eyes. The room was still dark so I knew it must still be early. I picked up my phone from the bedside table and looked at the screen, it was 5am. There was still two hours before I needed to set off for school.

I tried to close my eyes but the memories from my dream were still too painful. There was no way that I was going to be able to get back to sleep again. I may as well get up. I reluctantly sat up in bed. I spent a few minutes mindlessly scrolling through social media before finally dragging myself out of bed.

I took a quick shower and got changed into some black skinny jeans with a studded belt, a black band t-shirt and my leather jacket. As you have probably guessed I am a bit of a rock chick. I spent a lot of time and effort trying to hide anything that might make me stand out when I first moved to this pack. Dressing and acting like the popular kids in the fruitless hope that they would accept me. I was so desperate to fit in and make friends that I almost forgot who I really was but it didn't matter. No matter how hard I tried they still treated me like an outcast.

I even went through a stage of trying to fade into the background by wearing huge baggy clothes to hide my curves and slouching so that my height was less noticeable. If anything that seemed to make the rest of the pack bully me more. That was when I came to the realisation that I wasn't the problem. There was nothing that I could do that would make them like me so I should stop living my life on their terms. From that day on I have dressed exactly how I wanted to and I don't care what they think of that.

I would finish my look with dark makeup and jewellery after breakfast. Speaking of breakfast, I was starting to feel very hungry. I headed downstairs and started preparing coffee, bacon and scrambled eggs for me and Ryker.

Our house was a lot smaller than the mansion I was born in but it was bigger than the cosy three bedroom cottage that we had all lived in for ten years. Downstairs there was a comfortable living room, a large kitchen with a large dining table and a formal dining room which Christian used as his office most of the time. Upstairs there were three large double bedrooms and two bathrooms. It may not have been the most lavish home but it was comfortable and I love it here. "Oh my god. Diana, this smells amazing." Ryker said, causing my heart to skip a beat.

I may have grown up with Ryker and been living with him for most of our lives but we were not related in any way. I haven't admitted this to anyone but over the last couple of years I have developed a huge crush on him. I can't help it, he is 6th3 with a muscular build, long blond hair, blue eyes and the kind of face that could break hearts with a single smile.

What makes it worse is I know that he feels the same way about me. If our situation was different I would have asked him out in a heartbeat but our current living arrangement would make any kind of relationship awkward. I hope that once I turn eighteen my wolf will recognise him as our mate and then we can be together without feeling guilty. Until then I guess we'll just have to settle for silently pinning for each other.

"I know I do but what about the food?" I joked.

"That smells almost as tasty as you do." He said, there was a slight husky growl in his voice.

I wished I hadn't started flirting with him now, we weren't meant to get this involved. Heck we weren't even meant to acknowledge our feelings for each other. He walked towards me, he poured himself a cup of coffee and put some bread in the toaster. I was so busy focusing on the eggs that I didn't notice how close Ryker was until he started to turn the bacon in the pan right next to me.

I was suddenly conscious of how close he was to me, I could even feel the heat coming off of his body. If I just leaned slightly my whole body would be pressing against his. I could just lean over slightly and kiss him, then I would know if he tastes as good as he smells.

This is bad, I need to put some distance between us before I do something that I will later regret. Ryker took two plates out of the cupboard next to me, I could feel his breath on me and I could see the smile crossing his face out of the corner of my eye. He knew exactly what he was doing to me and he was enjoying this. Damn him.

I backed away from him slowly and walked over to the jug of coffee. I picked my favourite gaming related mug out of the cupboard and poured myself some coffee. I breathed in. The moment the coffee hit my nostrils it was as though my body suddenly started to come back alive. I quietly moaned although it wasn't quiet enough to escape Ryker's notice, his eyes shot in my direction straight away. I could feel my cheeks heating up, apparently I was determined to make a fool out of myself today.

I walked over to the kitchen table and sat down so that he wouldn't be able to see my face. I hope that he doesn't notice. There are only a few things you can guarantee in life: death, taxes and that Ryker will take every opportunity to capitalise on my embarrassment.

"I don't know how you can drink black coffee." Ryker commented as he started to put our breakfast onto plates.

"It is like my soul." I joked.

Ryker was laughing as he set the plate in front of me. Hopefully my dark humour is enough to break the tension between us and we can eat breakfast together like normal people.

I try to focus all my energy on the plate of food in front of me, something that I normally have no problem with. Today however, I find myself glancing in Ryker's direction every so often. I even caught him doing the same thing more than once. The tension between us was so strong that I could hardly bear being in the same room as him. All I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss him.

Things aren't usually this bad between us. A few weeks ago things were almost normal but then I broke up with my girlfriend Mary-Anne. Ever since then our feelings for each other have been growing stronger. It is starting to get to the point where neither of us can hide how we feel. I am so glad that my birthday is only a couple of days away.

I saw Ryker glance my way out of the corner of my eye. He looked me up and down while nibbling on his bottom lip. Ok, I need to get out of here right now. I stood up from the table and started walking towards the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" He said, his voice was huskier than normal. I turned to look at him. He was still sitting at the table but he had turned his whole body so he could look at me. "Just going to put some make-up on before school." I said.

I was trying to sound nonchalant but I missed. My voice was a few octaves higher than it should be and my breathing and heart rate were a dead give away of the effect he was having on me. "Someone as beautiful as you doesn't need make-up but I could think of something else we could do with the next half an hour instead." He said.

He stood up and started walking towards me, the look in his eyes was so intense that it made my heart skip a beat. I licked my lips. It wasn't intentional but it was probably the worst thing that I could have done because I heard his heart rate instantly accelerate.

He took a step closer to me and raised his hand to touch me. His fingers were millimetres away from my cheek when I heard a door open upstairs. He looked up towards the noise so I took the chance to slip away before he could distract me again. I have never run up stairs even half as quickly as I did at that moment.