The Light of My Hearts

Kendrick walked across the Estate grounds until he came to the barrier. It allowed him through as he stepped over the wall, the tiniest tingle on his skin signaling its presence. He truly didn’t know where he was going, he just walked down one of the streets. The Birchwood Estate was nearly on the far edge of Marlayla and he walked until he arrived at that very edge. Slowly, heavily, he sat, legs dangling over the rough rocky edge of the floating city. His amber eyes were wet and looked vacant as he clenched at his pant legs.

His hearts couldn’t even come up with a coherent feeling. Everything was tight inside him as if he was ready to explode or tear in half. He couldn’t tell if he was angry, if he was devastated, or empty. Kendrick’s emotions felt like a sack full of glassware that had been violently shaken and tossed, the shards sticking out everywhere.

“You were supposed to protect her and now look at what you’ve done! She hates you!” his hearts finally screamed at him.

“I WAS protecting her!”

“She told you that you were smothering her. She warned you!” his hearts shivered, “Now she doesn’t even want to look at you. You’re just a monster. You’ve ruined everything!”

Kendrick’s jaw clenched so hard he felt like his teeth might shatter. Typically, his mind was the thing that harangued him about everything he did. No matter the reason his mind gave, his hearts would not listen. He didn’t even feel the pain when his fist hit the rocky ground several times and blood filled the spaces between his knuckles. The pain in his chest was far worse.

Back in the Birchwood mansion...

Gelilah was exasperated and irate as she gestured to the broken window and cracked stairs, “Look at this mess! I told you, Aemond! Didn’t I tell you that giant barbarian was no good for her?! Now look!”

Aemond sighed, not too pleased either but was already summoning his maintenance workers and cleaners to begin the repairs to the house.

“You told me.” He agreed calmly.

“We’re lucky he didn’t smash the entire house and kill us all!” she ranted.

“Now, Gelilah. You know that’s too far.”

She gestured with barely contained outrage, “Oh, this is defensible to you?!”

Aemond stared at the mess, “Perhaps. Perhaps not. We don’t know the story.”

Gelilah closed her eyes and held up her hands near her waist as if containing her emotion, “Aemond...I want him gone by tonight!”

Aemond pursed his lips, but maintained a calm stance, “I will speak with him.”

She shook her head and started for the ballroom where Twillow had fled.

Aemond threw a wing in her path, “Not now, my dear. Leave her be.”

“She shouldn’t be stressed at a time like this!” Gelilah protested.

“No. But she needs her space right now. You should understand that...she is your daughter after all.”

Though loath to do so Gelilah knew her husband was right. When she was upset, she wanted to be left alone for a time. Twillow was no different. She could already see several objects near the ballroom spinning and quivering against Twillow’s emotions. She needed to calm herself first.

A bit later inside the ballroom...

Marci had been in the middle of prepping for Kendrick’s evening meal (which was a big job) when she heard the commotion outside in the entryway near the stairs and dining area. A horrible crash followed by Twillow shouting and Kendrick’s rumbling rebuttal.

It sounded like an argument.

By the time she peeked out of the kitchen whatever had happened was finished. Glass was everywhere, the frame to one of the dining room windows was bent and broken out, and Kendrick’s huge form was moving away from the house. Twillow sounded very upset and to prove she flew straight into the ballroom.

Being Twillow’s best friend, Marci knew where she was going. Anytime Twillow was upset she usually hid and sat in the branches of the musical tree that grew up through the ceiling of the ballroom. The vibrant tree would sometimes play soothing music when her emotions were strong enough.

Marci waited for a bit. Some items in the kitchen were moving and she knew that meant Twillow was very upset. The Birchwoods were all powerful magic users, Twillow being nearly as strong as her mother, and when their emotions got the better of them their magic could be dangerous. It was a hazard of the job. (Not an overly common one, but still a hazard.)

But Marci was patient and experienced. She knew when to wait...and what to bring with her.

When the objects seemed to move more gently, she quietly entered the ballroom. The musical tree was playing soft, sad music; obviously entuned to Twillow. She craned her neck up into the towering tree and could see Twillow sitting in one of its many arches. Though she couldn’t fly, Marci was blessed with agility. She nimbly ascended the side of the tree, feet automatically finding subtle footholds until she stopped in a branch a few feet below Twillow. She sat, then glanced up at her friend. Twillow was still crying it seemed but not sobbing anymore.

“Hey, sweetie.” She greeted quietly as she placed a small baggie of Twillow’s favorite candies on the branch next to her.

Twillow stifled a sob, wiped her eyes, but didn’t say anything. She didn’t take any candies.

Marci tipped her head a bit as she stared up at her, “You want to talk about it?”

At first Twillow just bit her lip, tears dripping from her violet eyes as if she wasn’t going to say anything. But eventually she opened up.

“We-we’ve never fought before.”

Marci flicked her thin eyebrows, “That’s impressive.” She shifted, “What was it about?”

Twillow shook her head and wiped her eyes again, “Kendrick is just...too protective. He nearly killed Valluen just now!” she sounded almost frantic.

“Really? Why?”

“He thought he saw him kissing my hand. But he didn’t! He’s just acting crazy!” Twillow ranted.

“Has he ever done anything like this before?” Marci asked.

Twillow looked down and away, “Well...y-yes.”

“Then why are you shocked?”

“He shouldn’t!” Twillow shook her head, “And earlier today he was forbidding me from having my baby shower, even though it was going to be in the middle of the day with a limited guest list.” She sounded mad, “Ever since this Kraskol attack he’s been obsessed with keeping me safe.”

“A Kraskol running amok is nothing to take lightly.” Marci stated.

“But it’s TOO much!” Twillow sounded irate, “I want to live my life. I’m not helpless!”

“Of course, you’re not.” Marci agreed.

Twillow’s wings buzzed, “And on top of that, he acts like he doesn’t trust me!”

Marci sighed then shook her head, “He trusts you, Twillow. There’s no way that he doesn’t.” she gestured with her hands, “What you and Kendrick have is real. It’s beautiful. But... the boy has a jealous streak.”

“He has nothing to be jealous about!” Twillow protested. “I’d never betray him!”

“I know you wouldn’t...and he knows that too.”

Twillow sniffed, “His father warned us before we left that he would get more protective the longer my pregnancy went on. I don’t want him to get worse!”

Marci shifted, “Twillow, you’re used to the gentlemanly sort, the debonair “Valluens” of high society who would never start a fight nor let their anger get the better of them. Kendrick seems more...how do I put this? More...primal.”

A frown creased Twillow’s mouth, “That just sounds like a nice way of calling him a barbarian...like mother does.”

“Not what I mean.” Marci interjected, “I mean that he’s a being with strong instincts. He’s not going to ignore them or hide them behind gentlemanly behavior. He can’t. Protecting you and his new baby is as natural as breathing.”

Twillow nodded, “He shouldn’t have done that, though.”

“I’m not saying what he did was right or that’s what you need, hun. I’m just saying that’s his perspective. Believe me. I know what it’s like to have those darker instincts whispering in your mind.”

(Being part succubus, Marci sometimes had to fight off the urges to drain life energy from men.)

She crossed her legs, “Are you going to talk to him?”

Twillow made a hurt face, “I don’t even know what I’d say.”

“Make him feel valued...but set some ground rules.” Marci offered, then reached up and poked her dangling toes, “And if that doesn’t work just drop your dress...makeup sex is always the best.”

The fae gasped, sounding like she wanted to laugh but was still crying.

She half-heartedly kicked at her friend, “You’re terrible.”

Marci smiled, batting her foot aside, “Go talk to him. A fight will fester if you bury it for too long.”

“Twillow? Twillow?” Gelilah was calling from the doorway below.

Marci made an insistent gesture and whispered, “Hurry! Before she sees you and tries to convince you “this is for the best” ...go!”

Twillow wiped her face and quietly flew up through the tree and out the top of the ballroom

Later near dark...

Kendrick had been sitting on the edge of Marlayla near the Estate for hours. He hadn’t moved, he hadn’t said anything as his knuckles bled and scabbed over. He just sat staring down into the Parliel Realm below the floating city. It was forested but in such a pristine, celestial way, unlike like his forest. He’d never belong here either. They didn’t need a monster tearing up their beautiful realm, darkening its beauty. Twillow...she didn’t need that either.

He wanted to leave; walk until he reached the furthest point of this realm. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He would never leave Twillow.

Not unless...she wanted him to.

Deep down he cringed at the thought.

What if she did? What if she told him she couldn’t live like this and realized this whole relationship was a mistake? That she never should’ve been with a monster like him?

Kendrick always thought he’d die, killed off by some well-armed slayers when he least expected it. Now, he was pretty sure his own hearts would kill him when they broke.

Then he heard the soft thrum of wing beats. His nose told him immediately she was coming. He almost had the urge to get up and flee, but he remained rooted to the spot. It wasn’t long before Twillow landed on the rocky edge beside him.

“Kendrick...we need to talk.” She stated after a moment.

“Oh gods...she’s going to tell you it’s over...she’s going to tell you she can’t deal with you anymore...” his mind panicked.

“Oh...Kendrick. What happened to your hand?” she sounded mortified seeing the dark blood.

He hid his knuckles with his other hand, then pressed his lips together and swallowed softly, “Y-your mother was right.”

Twillow looked up at him, “What?”

“I-I know I’m not...the gentleman you want me to be. I know I’m a dangerous, uncivilized brute who has no business being with you.” His voice hitched slightly, “But...I...I can’t imagine my life without you.” He admitted in a hushed voice until he looked back at her, “I can’t be without you, Twillow. If anything were to happen to you I...”

He stopped when she flew up and placed a hand on his upper lip as if to stop him from speaking.

She shook her head, “She’s wrong, Kendrick. I don’t want you to be someone else. I love you as you are.”

His warm, shuddered exhale blew her back slightly, “I’m sorry, I’ve made a mess of things. I just...I just feel so on edge. I can’t let anything happen to you or our baby.”

“Kendrick, I know you want to protect me. I know that you feel it’s the one thing you need to be doing for me. But you’re doing too much.” She explained.

He sighed with a regretful glower, “I’m...suffocating you?”

His hands were resting in his lap and Twillow gently landed to sit on the top of his thumb muscle.

“Yes...and...you act like you don’t trust me.”

Kendrick’s eyes opened considerably, “I-I do! You’re the only one I trust!”

“Then why do you act like I’m going to run off with any male who is friendly to me?” she asked.

He frowned with a growl, “It’s THEM I don’t trust.”

“You don’t think I can put them off myself?”

Again, he frowned, “You shouldn’t have to.”

Twillow bat her wings sharply, “I am perfectly capable of turning down the unwanted advances of other men. I don’t need you trying to kill any male who tries to be friendly to me.”

“But he...” Kendrick started.

“Valluen is still my friend, Kendrick. And he made no romantic gesture toward me.” She cut him off sternly, “I should be able to have male friends, just like you can have female friends. I need you...not your jealousy.”

Kendrick moved his jaw slightly, fighting with his own instincts as his eyes averted from hers. Again, Twillow flew up and stroked his bearded chin until she flew in front of his eyes.

“I love you, Kendrick. No one can change that. You believe me, don’t you?”

He opened his eyes and nodded, feeling the barbed wire wrapped around his hearts pull out, “Yes, my light.”

She kissed his upper lip. He gently kissed her side and inhaled her scent. The burnt salt smell was gone, it was nothing but the beautiful floral electricity of her. She wasn’t mad anymore.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” She apologized, touching his skin.

“You’re the only one who can.” He gave a small smile, “I’m sorry for upsetting you.”

“And for trying to kill Valluen...” she prompted.

His eyes looked sideways. He didn’t say anything.

“Kendrick.” Her voice was scolding.

“You want me to lie?”

She frowned at him, “No. But I do want you to apologize. Be civil at least.”

He gave a gentle growl and a look of irritation before saying, “Very well.”

Her eyes looked back at his injured knuckles, “[sigh] Let me heal your hand.”

“You don’t…” he started to protest.

“Yes. I do.” She landed on his hand again and touched his skin with both hands.

A bright light lit up the dark momentarily and all that remained was the dried blood on his skin.

He sighed, “Thank you, my light. For…for everything.”

“Come on. Let’s get back to the Estate before the night guards come around.” She coaxed him.

Compliantly, he nodded, stood up and they both returned to the grounds. As they approached, they could see Twillow’s father waiting outside on the veranda in a chair.

“Kendrick, a word?” he requested.

Kendrick grimaced. Twillow made a gesture for him to go so he veered off and sat down beside the outdoor deck. He could already see a few workers tending to the broken window inside the house.

“I’m…sorry for the mess I made. I’ll pay for the damages, Mr. Birchwood.” He apologized sheepishly.

(It wasn’t often he genuinely apologized for destruction.)

“Aemond.” The fae corrected, taking a sip of some wine, “And yes, you should. My wife is quite distressed about the matter. She thinks I should throw you out…send you back to the Lower Realm.” He explained.

Kendrick grimaced again. Twillow’s father didn’t seem mad though. He didn’t sound or smell of it. He took another drink of his wine.

“Though I think that is a bit extreme and I am grateful that you care so much for my daughter’s safety, I think perhaps you’re a bit obsessed with it.” Aemond observed. “Have you thought about other outlets to put yourself into?”

“Outlets?” Kendrick wasn’t following.

“Yes. Something else to focus your energies?”

“Like…what?”

“A job perhaps?”

Kendrick scoffed, “A job?”

“Quite. Elmry works as the head distributor for my business; makes sure all the magic crystals from the mines are delivered and properly installed where they need to be around the Parliel Realm. He does do personal deliveries in Marlayla, but we’ve had a few items go missing. Thieves stealing our packages most likely. Since you’re so good at protecting things, I think you would be a good partner for him.” He grinned behind his curved mustache.

Kendrick honestly didn’t know how to respond. No one had ever offered him a job before. He’d never even considered the option.

“That’s…very generous of you, Mr.…er…Aemond. But don’t you think I’d be…unsettling to the citizens?”

Aemond flipped a hand, “They’ll get used to you. Just deliver the shipments and don’t step on anybody.” He shifted his folded wings, “And…it would probably give Gelilah some time to cool down.”

Kendrick fidgeted, “I don’t feel right leaving Twillow unguarded.”

Twillow’s father gave an acknowledging look, “I can assure you, Kendrick, a Kraskol will not be able to get through the barrier and it certainly wouldn’t attack during the day. I’ve heard the authorities in Oberit are close to finding the creature.”

“Are they?”

Aemond nodded, “And Twillow will be busy planning this baby shower with her mother and the staff.”

The giant thought a moment. Though he didn’t like the idea of leaving his pregnant wife unguarded he also didn’t want to continue smothering her (something she clearly didn’t appreciate). It sounded like a decent idea to him.

“All right.” He agreed with a shrug.

“Smashing! I’ll have Elmry meet with you in the morning to orient you.” He sounded pleased.

Kendrick nodded and rose to rejoin Twillow at her balcony, “Uh…thanks.”

Aemond nodded back.

“What was that all about? He didn’t yell at you, did he?” Twillow asked when he approached.

“No. He uh…gave me a job.” Kendrick sounded confused.

“Really? That’s wonderful! Doing what?”

“Delivering stuff with your brother…I think?”

“Oh! You’ll be working with Elmry! That’s great!” Twillow sounded pleased.

He squinted at her, “And you’ll be all right without me here?”

Twillow smiled at him, “Yes, sweethearts. We’ll be having the baby shower in a couple days so I’ve got a lot to do.”

He nodded. The idea of having “strangers” around Twillow unsettled him still, but less so now that he had calmed to the concept.

He sat in the grass, placing himself eye level with her balcony, “I just hope I don’t mess anything else up.”

She reached out and he leaned his cheek into her hand, “You’ll do great.” She kissed him.