The Lies that Made Us

Amelia

They ate a simple supper in the dining room, people running in and out as they checked on people, sent messages, and performed other duties. Amelia spent some of the late afternoon and evening healing what simple injuries she could after resting for a bit. She made a plate and sat down at the table next to Melwa, picking at her food.

Melwa gave her a small glance. “Not hungry either?”

“Not really,” said Amelia. “ Not after what I’ve seen this evening.”

Melwa nodded. “Is Brynn with the others writing messages?”

“I believe so. He, your husband, and your brother disappeared into your father’s study an hour ago.”

“And your father and brother?”

“Speaking with the Light Bearers and getting them settled in. I believe they will stay here for a time. He’s also working on moving his household out of the city. Half are already in our country estate.” Amelia sighed in relief, thinking of Owain’s wife and child safe and sound away from the city.

“Then would you walk with me, Amelia? I’d like to speak with you.”

Amelia nodded before standing up. King Ignacious looked up from his plate and gave them both a questioning look. Amelia grinned at him, and it seemed to put him at ease. He returned to his food as Amelia followed Melwa into the hall. They went up the stairs and to Melwa’s room. She opened the door and let Amelia walk in ahead of her.

“Come out onto the balcony with me. I know it’s cold, but I think we could both use some fresh air, and this view looks out to the river beyond, not the village,” said Melwa.

Amelia moved forward, understanding. They would not look upon the broken town and hear the cries of the injured. They would see the wilderness behind them, untouched and beautiful. She went through the door and to the railing, looking up at the night sky that was slowly clearing, allowing a few stars to shine.

“It is beautiful out here. You must have loved coming out here as you grew up,” said Amelia.

Melwa stood beside her. “I took it for granted as I’ve done most things in my life. Amelia, you can probably tell that I’m a woman who is not usually agreeable. I have always found a way to be displeased with something.”

Amelia kept looking out towards the river. “Why?”

She felt Melwa shrug. “I don’t know. I’ve always been this way. My mother says I was born serious, barely even crying when I emerged into this world. She said I rarely smiled and laughed even less.” Melwa leaned back a little, her hands staying on the railing. “I can never remember feeling content or comfortable. I seemed destined to be dissatisfied with everything.”

“It’s a shame,” said Amelia. “You grew up in the most beautiful place I have ever seen, and your parents seem to care for you. Now, you appear well settled with your husband.” Amelia cut her eyes to look at the princess. “Unless I am mistaken.”

“Rayan is probably exactly as you have guessed. He is intelligent, thoughtful, and even passionate.”

“He is handsome as well,” said Amelia with a small grin. “Very handsome.”

Melwa chuckled. “He is, and for some reason, he seems to like me. For an arranged marriage, one could not hope for much more.”

“Do you not feel for him as a wife should?”

“I am not sure. I like him. I care about him. Intimate times with him are not unenjoyable, but I know I frustrate him. He claims I hold back much of myself, and I cannot say it isn’t true. I think I have held back who I am from just about everyone. Only a select few have seen the deepest parts I keep hidden.”

“Such as Brynn?” asked Amelia boldly. “You and he are bonded in some way.” It was not a question. It was a fact she knew.

“Brynn was probably the first person I have ever met whom I liked at our first meeting. I don’t know why, but something about him made me trust him. He caused me to laugh, to truly laugh within the first hour, and it surprised me so much I didn’t speak the rest of the day.

“Don’t get me wrong. I was as sharp and ornery to him as anyone, maybe more so, but he took it with good humor. He threw my harsh words back at me and let me speak again.” Melwa blushed as she looked down. “There was a time in those early meetings I felt an attraction towards him. It almost felt like he was someone I was waiting for, my perfect match.”

“Just in those early meetings?” asked Amelia skeptically. “Your feelings didn’t last?”

“How could they, Amelia? He spent a good amount of his breaths speaking about you. I was not lying when I said I felt like I already knew you before we met. Brynn told me everything about you. I thought at first you were just some youthful attachment, some memory from home he was hanging on to.

“But he kept speaking about you, and weeks went by, and then months, and you did not fade from his conversations. The look in his eye he got when he went on and on about you did not change. I could see it was love, a love that few get to experience. There would never be room in his heart for anyone else.

“Even when he thought you were not writing him back, he did not forget you. He moped around and complained, but his love for you remained constant. It was hard for me to understand. I didn’t see how it could be real. My parents are fond of one another, but they were the product of an arranged match. They like one another, but they are very much two separate entities. I think they could each go weeks without thinking of one another.

“I was also destined for another, and I felt it was a duty. Even with the sweet notes Rayan wrote me over the years, my heart was not touched. I would do as I was told because it was the obligation of my position. I never thought of falling in love. I thought the idea of love was ridiculous, but then I saw how Brynn could love you even with you being so far apart.

“I grew jealous. Not because I could never have Brynn. My crush had long since passed. I won’t deny and say I didn’t find him attractive, but any ideas of some kind of future with him were long gone. I was jealous because I couldn’t experience love as he did, as you, some woman I had never met, could inspire.”

She leaned on the balcony, propping her head in her hand. “Then my stupid brother declared he was in love with that mousy little Lady Lyneth.” Amelia threw her a sharp look. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. I see the lady’s worth now, but you must admit she is so tiny and quiet that she leaves no impression at first.

“I laughed at Tristeen, thinking he was ridiculous, but he persisted with his love. Then the unthinkable, my father let him have his way, marrying this simple woman instead of forming some alliance in the world. Instead of joy for him, I felt cheated. Here I was, the two most important people in my life, getting to experience love. Love that I thought was impossible, and I was stuck marrying some man I barely knew.”

Melwa was quiet for a moment, and Amelia turned to face her. She had never seen the princess look so vulnerable. She usually stood straight, her face hard, her eyes wide as though she expected an attack by someone. Now she was slumped over the balcony, her mouth downturned and her eyes soft. She was a picture of melancholy loveliness that tugged at Amelia’s heart. Without a second thought, she reached over and took Melwa’s hand.

“You must think I am ridiculous. Talking like some young girl about not being loved enough. With everything going on, this should be the least of my worries. I know this, and I think it made me even angrier to meet you, to see you in the flesh, and find you everything Brynn described.”

Amelia gave a half grin. “I doubt I held up to half of what Brynn said, especially now, especially after the tower.”

“You are more subdued than he described, but your beauty, kindness, and fierceness in battle were all he said. When I first laid eyes on you, watching you fight those dwellers, I understood Brynn’s fascination with you.” She laughed. “I knew I would like you, and it made me angry.”

“Angry?”

Melwa nodded. “I was prepared to hate you, to mock Brynn for being taken in by some beautiful lady who was not half what she seemed. After Achilia, when I got to know you, I became more and more aware you were exactly what he said. Yes, you were damaged in some way, sad, hesitant to trust and love, but even all that couldn’t hide who you were. Even when my magic touched yours, I could feel its purity and lightness.

“I watched you start to smile at Brynn, to laugh with your guard. To think of all you’ve been through, how you’ve been betrayed, and you could still find a way to experience joy. It made no sense to me, and part of me wanted to crush it. That part of me I hate wanted to see both you and Brynn miserable so you would be more like me.

“I told myself I was protecting my friend by mentioning to him all the ways you and he could not be together. I knew you felt some of them, and Brynn did too though he wouldn’t admit it. Your past will follow you. It is not fair, but it is how it will be, and you know it.”

Amelia let go of Melwa’s hand and nodded. “I have told Brynn this many times. I have tried to make up my mind to let him go, but I cannot. I am afraid I am weak and cannot do as I should. The idea of leaving him now is impossible, not when I wanted him for so long.”

“Then don’t leave him. I am sure he has told you countless times he cannot do without you. Listen to him. Let him choose the life he wants.”

“This is much different than your advice last night.” Amelia shook her head. Just last night, it seemed so long ago. There should have been more time than one miserable day between her breaking down in tears and then loving Brynn in a way she had never experienced.

“I was awful last night,” said Melwa. “Everything became too much, seeing you ease into our lives here. My father-in-law is half in love with you, I think.” Melwa laughed. “If you don’t want to be Brynn’s queen, you could come rule in my new kingdom.”

Amelia laughed with Melwa. “I am sure it is not like that. He was friends with King Iver and sees me as some sort of responsibility, I think.”

“No, it is more than that, but I will not argue with you about it. My brother liked you immediately, my husband defended you to me, and even my father and mother have no objections to you. I heard my father even call you impressive. When it comes down to it, I want to hate you. Hate you for being everything I cannot.

“I lashed out in a way I knew would devastate you. As soon as I saw the look on your face before you turned and ran, I regretted it. You did not deserve those words, and I had no business speaking them. I have never seen Rayan so angry with me. He knows my temper and moods, but he said he had no idea I could be so cruel.”

“It did hurt, not only because it was true, but because I want you to like me.” Amelia smiled. “I have been jealous of you too, you know. You might know Brynn better than me now. I have not seen him for four years, but you spent almost every moment with him. He cares deeply for you.”

“I do like you, Amelia. I like you very much, and I don’t want to be this miserable creature everyone will grow to resent. I just wish I could feel as deeply as others, love as freely, and get to experience what you have with Brynn, what my brother has with Lyneth.”

“I have known Brynn since I was ten. We had years to build a foundation,” said Amelia. “We were friends first, playmates who got each other into too much trouble. As we grew, so did our feelings. Even now, I think there is much room for my love for Brynn to grow. Your brother has known Lady Lynteht all his life. I am sure it was much the same for them, friends, and companions. They are both quiet; perhaps they could talk to each other as no one else could.

“Melwa, you barely know your husband, and already you are fond of him. Whatever you say about your feelings, I can tell you care for Prince Rayan. He already adores you. He might sometimes be angry with you, but I see how he takes care of you and looks at you. He is a man in love. The goddesses willing, you will have many years with him, and if you let yourself, I think you will find you will experience the deep love you long for.”

Melwa stared out towards the river. “You don’t hate me, do you?”

“Of course, I don’t hate you.” Amelia smiled. “You think I would jump in front of multiple dark curses for someone I hated?”

Melwa turned to her. “I do. I know you would.”

“You think too well of me. I don’t hate you, Melwa.”

“Mel,” said Melwa. “Call me Mel. It is what my friends call me, and you and I shall have to be friends if we are going to survive our trip with four men.”

Amelia laughed. “I agree.” She took a deep breath, her smile vanishing. “We have to bring them through it alive. They are important, not only to us but to this world.”

Melwa took Amelia’s hand. “We will keep them safe, but watch out for one another too. The world needs us as well.”

They walked from Melwa’s room back to the stairs deciding they were hungry. Melwa hooked her arms with Amelia’s, and they both laughed at something Melwa said when they came to a stop, spotting Brynn, Tristeen, and Rayan looking at them as though they each had two heads.

“We were looking for the two of you to discuss our upcoming trip. We need to leave as soon as it can be arranged.” Brynn stared at them both before looking at their conjoined arms. “Is everything ok?”

Melwa and Amelia turned to look at one another. “Amelia and I were just having our own meeting, trying to think of ways we could keep the three of you out of trouble.”

“I am sure Prince Tristeen and Prince Rayan are both well-behaved young men, but keeping Brynn out of trouble is impossible. You must know it, Mel. We can only minimize the damage,” said Amelia.

Melwa laughed as she gently pulled at Amelia so they would start walking again. “My husband can cause problems plenty, and my dear brother has been in too many sticky situations of his own doing. We will have our work cut out for us, Amelia.” They moved past the men, going down the stairs. “Perhaps you will follow us down the stairs. Lady Amelia and I have not had a good meal yet. We can meet with you there.”

It was decided they would leave in five days. Amelia’s father was not happy about it, but he understood. Her brother thundered on, complaining that she had already done her part and suffered enough, but in the end, he listened to her, promising to watch over their father and the interest of Evalmore while she was gone.

Two days before they left, Brynn disappeared into some small parlor with her father and brother and did not emerge until several hours later. When she asked how it went and what they spoke of, all he would say was they all had an understanding and he had some work to do.

Amelia smoothed out her simple black dress made of thick material and threw on her cloak. It would do for the sea journey towards Achilia. Once they came to the shores, they had to find clothing fit for the kingdom. She left most of her hair down, only pulling up some of it to keep it off her face. As she looked at herself in the mirror, Brynn came behind her and brushed her hair to one side before kissing her neck.

“I hate the idea of you going,” he murmured before his lips brushed her skin.

She half turned and looked at him. “You did say you wished us to travel.”

“Not straight into danger, not closer to where my evil brother is probably living.” He pulled her against him. “I cannot lose you again.”

“You won’t. I plan to see us both safe through this trip and this war.”

He turned her so she would face him. “Then you have accepted that I won’t let you go. After we defeat my brother, whatever happens, we will do it together, whether that’s ruling or sailing off to lands unknown.”

“I know being away from you feels wrong. Right now, I want to focus on saving the world, and then I think I will be open to you convincing me of many things.”

He leaned down, his lips hovering near hers. “I can be very convincing, Amelia, and I will not wait until we defeat my brother. I will start this very moment.” His lips curved into a mischievous smile. “I am willing to wager that I have you convinced before we sail back to Erialla from Achilia.”

She laughed. “I am willing to let you try.”