THE LAST FINAL SOLUTION

I saw my body still and silent on the Hospital bed in Rio and I knew the reason why I was there because the squeal of brake noises stayed with me for a while, while I was in the dark, yet that dark and the thud sound didn’t last. It was the thought of how foolish I was to run across the road to Mary’s place.

I was only fixated in meeting up with the beautiful and intriguing Mary’s part of me shot out as soon as the dark went which confirmed for me I was having either a death or a near death experience’s know this because it has been pushed down our throats for many years ever since the great film with Roy S called All that Jazz came out in about 1979 and most of us watched it till the DVD gave up the host (to use a pun) Millions of Americans must have watched also.

Just like Roy S. it was a copy cat of my life to a degree with all of the mistakes he and I made .I too had danced through my life leaving in its wake a collection of fractured souls, especially when I was in my drunken haze. The journey upward started, slow at first and I yelled out -I’m not dead yet.-

But no one came to aid me on my trip. I looked back just as a Nurse had her fingers on the on/off button and I knew my time was up. And then the face of Mary the healer appeared and grabbed the Nurses hand and brushed her away and Zap there I was back into pain not having seen any dead faces I knew but happy to be back and I whispered ‘Thank you God.’

Some Doctors were there hovering in their white coats but they were out dazzled by Mary who sat at the foot with her gold cross dangling at her throat and the shimmering gold reflection seemed to act like a healing ray to me I tried to sit up but was restrained.

‘Hello James’ She winked at me and smiled again and I was very happy to be alive The Doctors told me I was in a coma for a week which was surprising because It seemed like only seconds when I saw the light and went upwards so much of it must have been in the dark realm of nothingess.

There was certainly no meeting with God or Jesus or Gabriel or my father. Mum is still alive I believe, and I thought about her when I lay in the bed half asleep and zonked out endomes, when Mary wasn’t there. When she was she did most of the talking, and I did the listening.

‘You have four broken ribs and a fractured skull so no wonder you were in the dark for a long time. An NDE is different for most people. When you are better come and stay with me and my Dad Edward. He is also a healer. We will fix you up...’ There was a pause and she looked straight into my eyes and said without a blink.

‘Oh and by the way I am going to marry you. Don’t laugh It is in the stars and can not be changed.’ I was pushed for an answer but deep in my heart I knew that God and maybe Brian had moved the chess pieces on the board, around.

Two years later I am still here married to my soul mate Mary: I am also a helper in the healing business and. I mind my beautiful baby boy—James Edward- who is sixteen months old and looks like both of us but sadly he does have big feet .Brian tracked down my mother who is coming to visit us soon and I hope she will live here.

My life is complete and maybe Mum might know something about my kids as well. I pray each day to God and although I am not a Catholic I can appreciate some aspects of that religion. Brian tells me that the team who put some of the Cults to sleep is still active from time to time and it would be nice to catch up with some of them.

I have searched inside of myself since our marriage and found the inner man, aptly described by Edward who is now my spiritual guide while we are together in this life.

Though Edward disputes that the inner man story is attributed to him and to prove his point he produced the great ancient bible and carefully flipped the pages with his elongated finger till he stabbed at the Chapter of 3-16 of Corinthians: he stared back at me with his kindly hazel eyes which occasionally show a fervor when his favorite subject comes up.

′

Here Jim – read this.′ He has taken to calling me the short name which I had not heard for many years...better than Flipper though--. I put on my glasses which were now required due to some blips inside of my skull.

‘Bloody hell Ted.’ I call him Ted now, just like he has shortened my name. I stared at his mop of luxurious graying salt and pepper hair and watched as he waited with an expression, mixed up with triumph and the wisdom of his years, and I added ‘how appropriate, those scholars were more in accord with human nature than we are now and I think the shrinks of the world have totally lost it.’

‘Some truths in what you say there Jim.’ It was time for me to speak to him about an assumption I had made about my life. He listened carefully as I spoke.

‘For most of my life I was like a man holding a lighted candle searching for a fire which was in front of my face all the time: I was just looking beyond it .but that is until I dropped into the yawning black hole and then my life just became a now thing, a moment thing, with me scratching around to find fuel in order to survive’. I stopped. As abruptly as I started waiting for a response, this came.

‘Jim.’ He put his hand on my shoulder.′ you must forgive yourself, even for the stealing incident in the shop. Even the fact that you can’t control where your kids are, so that you can help them. You are powerless in that direction, so just let it go to God. You can’t do anymore. Just get on with this life because that is all you have now, and you are doing a very good job of it as a father, a husband and my son in law.′

‘Thanks Ted. Your words are a comfort.’ This has never changed. I do let God fix it now and I smile whenever I think of the OPS order of OPERATION- FIXIT. It appears to apply to God as well.

There were many more sayings from the smart Ted, and his daughter as well, which always renewed my vigor if I slipped into some moments of melancholy about my disgusting time on the streets, or wondering where my kids were and how they were

I was from the outset full of wondering how Mary knew about OP-FIXIT because after all it was top secret and anyone letting that out was libel to be charged with Treason and its consequences of life in a Federal Prison was not exactly a way to spend the remaining years of a life. Mary knew I would ask one day about the how, the where and the what: oh and of course the Why.

‘Brian worked here many years ago as a surgeon and learnt a lot about the world of the spirit and its wonders. He was not concerned about religion and always said he was an Agnostic—though I have some doubts about that. So you are concerned how I knew you were coming here right? Do not interrupt me James while I am on a roll. I told him about the logging, the displacement of native people, and the destruction and we all knew he was as well, an Inventor. Perhaps he could invent something’.

‘It still begs a question doesn’t it Mary’ Mary seemed a bit irritated with my interrogation and her blue eyes flashed a little just as she raised her voice away from the from the usual husky sound of Peggy Lee the USA blues singer and said Brian’s words.

I might work on it Mary leaves it to me.′ Brian said as I recall James.

‘I am still perplexed—how did you know I was being sent here to fix it?’ She smiled again at my ignorance.′ I nodded but still; would not let it ago. The old Cop in me I guessed. Like a dog worrying a bone.

‘But how did you know I was Brian’s messenger?’ She was quick in reply.

‘I wrote him a letter and he replied that he had a fix and described you.’

‘What did he say in the letter? Or rather was he specific.’ Now she was getting sore and irritated with my persistence.

Nothing—it was all Telepathic—Nothing more than that and he has not broken any secrets. OK?” Her Ok signaled then an end of my interrogation. I had let it go, preferring to concentrate on gleaning more wisdom from the head of Ted One who used to come up with lots of Spiritual truths.

‘People mirror back to us the reality of who we are, like we may be selfish, demanding, confrontational and angry. How to overcome it—ask a friend--- the long silence maybe the answer.’ I thought Ted never held any of those emotions, locked away, yet later Mary told me that he had an affair many years ago and it hurt his wife deeply. .‘So he has not always been a Saint, James.’ She said.

‘What you mean he sinned?’ I was staggered about his feet of clay, about Ted, my recently acquired heroes.

‘Hey we are not punished for our sins but by our sins’ I thought about her use of words and realized how intelligent she was. By was the key word which I could not get out of my head for sometime and I still muttered it every now and then. But one thing for sure I opined is, that I will never ever be as smart as Mary or Ted and I accepted it. I wouldn’t have once, as a Cop as I tended to look down on others less important and like many of my comrades in Blue, they as well, all treated them with insignificance.

‘Who are we then?’ I asked Ted. Ted shuffled his feet and finished off his glass of Black Label Johnny Walker which. Was given to him by a grateful client. (We think he left the bottle on the shelf just to tempt me, said Mary—but it did not work)

‘We are not just a collection of elements and cells which largely make up our bodies—we just use them to get through our lives.’

‘Ok here is curly one. What about aids?’ I questioned.

’Aids provided a fashion of equal opportunity to all, irrespective of sexual preferences. Forget the bits in the Bible about God’s Judgment. Try man’s judgment. God is love but the way this planet is going I wonder whether we have dipped, as humans into the bucket of love, for a few minutes and then reverted back to the old ways

‘How long will God tolerate it?. Yet he still tolerated his only son Jesus being hung on a cross, for his words of humanity and love didn’t him. You know we have to be trained just like a trellis with a help of a Gardeners knot.’

‘What about age?’ Was on the agenda

‘I assume you mean wisdom with your question. Age can bring on clear awareness but let me tell you it is not all a barrel of laughs for men and women. We suffer from the dribbles and constipation and aches and pains’.

Women get the fear of hormones sweats and the great pain of child birth which carries into their dreams to old age. Our instincts sent back signals. Some which we like and others forgotten, maybe the blessing of awareness can result in a heightened intuition of feeling and realizations, for the disbelievers, of another world beyond this planet.”

‘Courage.’

‘Courage floods in when we are at full gallop with not a moment to spare. It comes like an alarm clock but: not before it is time to face our demons and not after, yet still; only in tough times. That is my opinion. Feel free to disagree. Jim’

Unfortunately I never recorded in writing the plethora of many sayings which were in the hundreds and used with similes and metaphors. He would have made an inspirational writer.

My mother came over and stayed with us for a year during which time her arthritis was nearly cured. I still see her spirit from time to time. She loved my wife and Ted who always flirted with her. He certainly knew the right words to keep her thinking; she was still the pretty woman I knew.

She died in her apartment in Manhattan and I just thought about her rather than travel to the place I left behind. Before she left us and I think she knew she was dying of a lung disease, she told me that my ex wife lives in Canada with her wealthy husband and the kids went to an expensive school.

She never received any return cards and finally gave up sending them. So that part of my life was also a lost cause, to my mother, and from that moment, of her revelation, I never thought back again about them. Certainly I never wrote them into my will.

Our beloved Ted passed on quickly with a heart attack .He also knew it was coming and spoke to all of us. Spiritualists have an air about them of accepting grief. They know and bless the passing but never forget them.

Ted is always around the place and many of Mary’s clients mention that he comes to them in dreams. He also visits my son James Edward many times for a chat. Mary never interferes I guess she thinks it is our son’s time in the sun with their chats and does not probe.

JAMES

It is 2098 and I wonder where the time has gone .The wondering takes me back while I lay in the Hospital bed with pancreas cancer flooding my body. My family visit every day and bring food which I can’t eat so I give it to the staff.

Mary sits and reads the Tarot for the Nurses and I do not mind because I am largely sleeping. Time is short and I think I will just curl up tonight and leave it to God.

MARY

James was buried by our local Church and a big funeral came and went. Some of his Ranger mates and some from the old program shook my hand afterwards Sadly Brian passed a few years before and I guess James might see him in his new world. I still work as it keeps me sane and stops old memories coming back and back.

James Edward is now a Doctor and could get jobs with the local Hospital but at this stage chooses to stay and help me in the practice as my bones are getting creaky and the fingers tire easily with my massages given to the clients. It make me happy when I see them walk out, brimming with a pink glow which is a good sign. Coming from their auras I still remember what James said after Edward had died. He choked with a lot of emotion when he spoke.

‘His life was like a parchment with an unaltered script: and added creases with built up dust, with some micro dots of. Food and spillages which were faded. Portions of his mission statement and were scrubbed out yet the mission was intact. He never wandered away from the trial of life. His nonchalant air masked a man of power who knew where he was going, particularly when he spoke. Heads snapped around with attentive eyes focused on him, as if he was Moses, back again with an addendum.’

On reality....

‘It should never be spoon-fed in dribbles. Let them have it, just as it is---- stark.’

About life

‘The answer to life is to trust in life and in the fullness of time; the wished for events will come to pass (they may be an anticlimax and you may ponder what was all the fuss about) don’t keep searching for the truth it will find you—if you let go of your opinions.’

Fame.

Being famous doesn’t come with an off button.′

A Chip on the shoulder.

‘A chip on the shoulder is a sign of wood higher up.’ Ted could always see the funny side of anything. He always said God loves humour.I hope he does because I have told some gritty jokes over the years.

‘The past is a poor navigational tool because you can’t steer your car forward staring in the rear vision mirror.’

Marianne Williamson.