The Kingdom of Secrets and Ruin

Dalliah

I’ve been pacing the floor of my room all day, trying to figure out what to do. Marjorie’s disgust, Rhu’s affection and my mother’s face play around in my mind like some sort of kaleidoscope that I used to have as a child.

The idea of leaving like I did before crosses my mind, I mean I’m not likely to run into him twice at the coast, but every time I change into my old dress it feels wrong, stopping me in my tracks. The scared little maid who was scared of her shadow after losing her family isn’t who I am anymore. I’m stronger, smarter and have toed the line too long now to go back to hiding in a corner.

But at the same time, if I’d stayed in my lane I wouldn’t find myself in this position with Marjorie’s threat hanging in the air and the guilt of the connection I built with Rhu plaguing me constantly.

I’m in the process of changing back into my purple day dress from Odelina, when she knocks at the door and enters. Her seeing me in my shift has never bothered me before but I can’t help wishing she had waited for a moment so that I could cover myself properly.

“Is everything okay?” I ask while tying the last piece of string into place.

She’s slumped into one of my chairs, leaning her head back in a very un-princess-like manner. Her mother has been delegating hard with some of these celebratory tasks for their easter celebration, and we’ve barely had time to talk since arriving home.

It’s probably a good thing with the turn things have taken in my mind.

“I’m just stealing a moment while I can, Avery was coming to fetch you for Rhu so I took over to get away from dying eggs. Honestly, who cares what colour they are?”

“Rhu sent for me?” I question, not expecting to hear this as I thought he’d be busy today.

My stomach turns at the thought of seeing him so soon after various feelings and resentment have been brought back to the surface. I’m not ready, but maybe now is the time to bow out properly and escape while I still can?

The question is, can I do it, or will I fall for his charms all over again like a fool in love, not that that’s close to what I was feeling for him before.

“Yes, I didn’t ask why though… are you alright? And why are you dressing in the middle of the day anyway?” Her senses seem to have returned to her, but lying comes so easy to me now that I barely have to think as my mouth opens.

“I spilt something on my other… We should probably go, he’ll be busy with other things and it shouldn’t take long.” I won’t let it.

“Ah yes, don’t let me stop you.”

She smiles at me knowingly, like this meeting is something she expects me to look forward to, and if I hadn’t run into my old life so brutally downstairs I probably would have. Thankfully I’ve had the chance to wake up.

My heart is racing with every step I take closer to him. I dread the moment where I’ll have to say what’s on my mind and pray that it’ll be over quickly. Maybe if I’m lucky I can be gone before tonight?

But that thought is dashed as soon as the door is opened and I find Marjorie by his side. My breath is swept from my lungs and I have to hold my stomach for the lead balloon that seems to have taken root in there.

Has she told him? Has she broken the blood oath?

“Doll there you are!” He glances are Marjorie with distaste for a second before turning to me fully, “Your old friend has told me a joke I couldn’t let you miss out on, and for some reason, she refuses to drop it.”

Marjorie looks uncomfortable with his tone, as it’s clear that he’s not happy with her persistence.

I don’t answer his comment and he narrows his eyes for a moment before moving on, “Would you like to hear it?”

“She already knows it.” Marjorie opens her mouth, bitterness falling out and I close my eyes to try and process the blow. It hurts, there’s no denying it but I need to steal myself if I’m not to cry.

“You’d do well to only speak when spoken to.” Rhu barely even turns to her to say in a low voice filled with promise, clearly unhappy with the effect she’s having on me but that will soon stop the second he realises that her story is true.

He walks over to me, offering a cup of ale and a chair for me to rest in, I accept the beverage out of politeness but refuse to sit as the adrenaline running through me would never let me.

“Your friend seems to think you’re a hidden princess… A compliment you might think, until you hear the name she has given you.” His face turns sour at the thought and for a second I think I might keel over.

“Leverer?” My voice comes out as almost a whisper but he hears me and nods.

“Yes, can you see why that would upset me now that she refuses to let it drop?” This is more directed towards her than me, “But as your old friend, I wanted your thoughts before she’s dealt with, especially when it’s you that her lie is about.” He’s reaching out to me, clearly not taking her story seriously and my heart aches for what’s to come.

Marjorie is telling the truth, that is a fact. And yes she’s broken a blood oath made to my mother, but she won’t be punished for that when it serves her king, will she? I could always lie and let it happen to save my own neck, Rhu would take my word over hers, I know that much, but could I live with myself after?

No, unlike her I doubt I could ever look in a mirror again after betraying someone like that. I know it would also hurt Ingaret who has earned my loyalty in every sense of the word. There’s also the fact that her story is the truth, something I might never get the chance to speak again.

“It’s not a story or a joke, Ruairi, it’s a fact.” My voice comes out hollow and cold which I never thought I’d manage in the moment, so it helps push me on. “My mother and father were Rosamund and Elric Leverer and you killed them.”

I swallow hard, preparing to land a blow I’ve always wanted to strike, “You killed my innocent mother the day you came here, and for that, I will never forgive you.”

My legs move the second I need them, the urge to run, to try and get away before it’s all over takes over me. My skirts fly up and around as the air hits my face and the beating in my heart, burns as I try to push myself faster. I give it everything I have, even though I know it’ll be fruitless in the end and that I know he will catch me.