The Illyrian Series: The Oracle Of Rosedale

The scalding sun bares down on my aching muscles. I've been fighting for almost an hour and am sore all over. My sword clashes against my opponents, we each try our best to push the other down.

He forces me closer to the ground and I'm so close to failing. I feel a sudden burst of adrenaline and push up against him. He loses his footing and I use my blade to knock him to the ground.

The spectators erupt in cheers and I look up victoriously. I search the crowd for my father, he looks so proud.

"Malin Hames, winner of Illyria's 206th annual tournament." The organizer announces. "He has once again brought pride to the Hames line and legacy."

I take my opponent's sword and march up to the King. "Your Majesty." I present it to him and bow.

He beams. "I always knew you were a champion, Malin. I am proud of you, you're an even better warrior than your father."

"That's what I've been telling you." Adria says from his side. "He's the best in Illyria."

"Oh, Adria." The queen laughs. "You'd have said that no matter what happened." We all laugh.

I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy?

***

I see my sister. She's twirling around in her blue wedding dress and has the biggest smile on her face.

"You couldn't resist." I lean against the doorway.

"What do you think?" She twirls once more.

"I think you look gorgeous." My mother replies for me, she has tears in her eyes. "My little daughter is getting married. Why does time have to pass by so quickly?"

"Don't cry mother. You promised." Bria scolds.

"I promised not to cry at the wedding. It isn't till tomorrow, let me be."

I laugh and walk up to Bria. "Eighteen is far too young to get married. If you want to back out, tell me now."

"Well you should have thought of that before introducing me to Will. I've fallen in love and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else."

I smile and hug her.

I introduced them to each other a few months ago. He's from a good family and is one of the few decent men in this country. I'm happy that they're together. I'm happy my sister will have a nice life. I'm happy for her.

***

I'm in the back garden of the castle. I'm laying down on the grass peacefully when Adria appears.

"There you are." She lies down next to me. "What are you doing?" She moves closer to me

"I'm thinking."

"About?"

"A lot of things." I sigh. "My father, my future, you." I kiss the top of her head.

She giggles. "We've been friends for years, you can tell me anything."

"I want to leave."

She stops laughing, her face turns serious. "What?"

"I want to go on an adventure, away from Illyria. I'm sorry if that made you sad."

Her smile returns. "Of course it doesn't, if you want to go, go. I love you and support you."

"Thank you for saying that."

"Of course, your happiness is all that matters. I'll be here waiting for you to come back."

"My happiness." I repeat slowly.

Yes, this will make me happy.

***

I'm standing in a bright field. Up ahead is a cave, I follow the trail and stop at the mouth. The map was real, the treasure really is down there. I slowly descend the stairs, lighting the sconces as I pass them. At the bottom is a big stone door sealed shut.

I produce the key from my pocket and search for the keyhole. I find it towards the bottom and insert the key. The stone clicks and I push the door. Scattered around the room are metal chests. I open one, it's filled with gold, precious jewels, and old scrolls.

I run back up and burst out of the cave, I'm coughing uncontrollably. "I found it, I actually found it."

Matthew claps. "I knew you would, if anyone was going to. It would be you."

"Thank you for the praise, sir." I beam.

"So, what's the plan for all the treasure now?"

"Same as before, distribute the money to the people who need it. Not just Illyria, neighboring towns and villages as well."

"Ah, you are far too kind. Your generosity will be known all over the world. What's more, all those people you helped will be eternally grateful. You saved them."

I take a sip of water from my bottle and grin. I look back as the assistants start bringing out the chests. All of that will be donated to those in need, what could make me more content.

I get back to my camp later that night and lie awake in the dark. My happy feelings have faded away and now I just feel...hollow. Matthew keeps popping in, asking if I need anything.

I think about his question, what do I need? "Matthew." I whisper. He hears this from his tent and rushes to mine. "We should go back to Illyria tomorrow. I've traveled enough, time to go home and start my family."

***

I see my guests.

My sister, her husband, and their daughter. My mother, father, the king and queen. All my friends and excavation partners. And my best friend since we were little, Adria.

She got married last year and is so elated with her husband. I couldn't be happier for her.

I turn back to my wife, Mia. Mother and father chose her for me. They said she's a good person from a well-respected family and will make a fantastic wife. I didn't expect to love her as much as I do now. She's smart, caring and so beautiful with light blonde hair and sea-green eyes.

She makes me want to be a better person, she makes me want to get out of bed in the morning, she makes me happy.

***

I see my little daughter, Jade. "Father. What are you doing?"

"I'm looking over the books for our Provence."

"That doesn't sound fun."

I laugh. "No, but this ensures that every person gets their fair wages and are able to live decent lives."

She bends her head and tries to read the words. "I can't pronounce this."

Mia appears, laughing. "Jade, why don't you leave your father with his work?"

Jade runs off and Mia stands behind me. She places her hands on my shoulders and peers down at the pages. "How does it look?"

I clear my throat. "They're good." I shrug her hands off my shoulders and get back to work.

"What's wrong?" She looks concerned. "Did I do something? I'm so sorry if I did."

I turn back to her and take her hands in mine. "You didn't, it's alright." I kiss them and her smile returns. She walks away and I let out a deep breath.

I love Mia, I do. We've been married for five years and they've been wonderful. I just don't feel for her the way I did when we first got married. Then she was my reason for living, now I try my best to tolerate her presence.

There's nothing wrong with her, she's as perfect as ever. I'm just not happy with her anymore.

***

There's a tiny baby sleeping in my arms. "Congratulations son, you have a son." My father jokes.

I look down at the baby and my heart swells with pride. I have a son, another child. An heir to carry on my legacy. I didn't even know Mia was pregnant, I had just come back from war and as soon as I got home, she delivered the news. The next day, we went to the palace where I got my medals of valor, the highest that has been awarded in my family's history.

"I'm proud of you son, you helped starving children, you gained military respect, you have a beautiful family. You have everything you could ever want." Father is saying to me now.

I don't reply. I just rock my son back and forth.

***

I'm sitting in front of father's bed. "Malin," he says. "Thank you for coming."

"Of course. I'll stay for as long as you want."

He smiles. "I couldn't have asked for a more perfect son. I want you to know that I love you."

I smile sadly. He's saying everything I've ever wanted him to say. I've lived my life around his approval, and now I have it.

I excuse myself from his room and leave the house through the back door. I lean against the stone wall and try to catch my breath. In, out. In, out. I can do this.

I sink to the ground and bury my face in my hands. I hear footsteps and my heart fills with dread at the thought of that being Matthew or Mia or my mother telling me to brighten up.

"Hi," says a strange voice. I look up and see a red-haired girl. She has pretty green eyes and is looking down at me.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Rosalie."

I sigh. "Hello, Rosalie."

She has a small smile on her face. "That is the nicest reception I've received out of all your friends."

I don't bother asking her to explain, what's the point? "What are you doing out here, do you work in the house?"

She shakes her head. "I was looking for you, I wanted to talk."

"About what?"

She shrugs. "Things, can I?" She points at the space beside me. I don't respond. She takes that as a yes and sits an inch from me. "Do you mind telling me how you feel?"

"Why would I do that? I don't know you."

She reaches for my hand but stops herself at the last second. "No, you don't. But maybe it'll be nice if you talk to someone, you can tell me."

I rest my head on the wall. "You want to know how I feel? Fine, I'll tell you, but under one condition. Don't ask or tell me to be happy."

"I won't, I promise."

I'm silent for a few seconds before saying. "Have you ever wanted something, then you got it. You were happy at first, but it didn't last. It no longer makes you content, and you're left wondering if you ever really were."

She rests her head beside mine and releases a long sigh. "Maybe."

I scoff. "I think I'm just insatiable. Can never be satisfied."

She huffs. "I know what insatiable means." I smile my first genuine smile in a long time. "I don't think you're that, maybe you're just sad."

I shush her. "Don't say that out loud, it's like a curse word to these people."

She nods. "They were created to make you happy. They completely change their behavior if it in anyway makes you unhappy. They also become very alert when you're feeling down."

I laugh. "That's a nice analysis of my friends and family." She takes my hand in hers and intertwines our fingers.

"What are you..." The memories cut me off. I remember all of it. My father's real opinion of me, the disgrace of the war, my inability to help anyone. All of it. I'm quiet for a long time.

"Sorry," she says. "I thought it was time to tell you."

"My life is bad and I'm not happy. My life is good and I'm not happy. Something is wrong with me."

"Nothing is wrong with you, it's okay to feel bad once in a while."

"But it isn't once in a while, it's all the time. I either feel nothing or I feel miserable. This place was created to make me happy and it couldn't fix me."

"Sometimes people like you come here, it doesn't work for them. It's alright."

"But I'll feel the same when I leave, I'll feel terrible no matter what." I take another deep breath. "Do you know why I feel like this?"

"Only you can answer that."

I look back at the house and sigh. "Can you...make him normal?"

"Are you sure?"

I nod. "I am, what's the worse that could happen?"

I drag myself up and walk back to his room. He's sitting on his bed and has a big scowl on his face. "Where did you go?" He demands. "Left your own father, what kind of son does that?"

I sit at the chair by his bed. "We need to talk."

"Talk, talk? You want to talk. Okay fine, let's talk. Let's talk about how you're a big dissapiontment. You've made it your mission to disgrace this family and it's the only thing you're succeeding in."

"What do you have against me? I became a better fighter for you, I defended you, I stayed with you, I gave up so much for you. I want to be proud of myself but you make it so hard."

He grimaces. "Why would you be proud of yourself? What's there to be proud of?"

"I'm trying so hard, what else do you want from me?"

"Oh, are you going to cry? Is little Malin going to cry because his daddy said some mean words. I swear Bria is more of a man than you."

I shake my head. "There is no winning with you, is there?"

His scowl deepens. "Shut up and get out of my sight."

I stare down at him. He looks so weak, yet has so much rage and anger. "I don't have to take this."

"And where are you going?" He scoffs.

"I'm going to go get over the deep issues you've given me."

"How about taking responsibility for your actions instead of blaming others?"

"I was going to suggest the same thing." I shut the door and make my way to the back of the house.

I find the girl standing in the same spot I left her. "Okay, Rosalie. I'm ready to go back."

She smiles. "This might hurt a bit." She places her hands on my shoulders and stands barely an inch from me. She produces a dagger and holds it over my stomach. "Malin, can I give you some advice?"

I take a deep breath, suddenly aware of how close we're standing. "Sure."

"Happiness comes from inside, not in helping others or in wives or kids or accomplishments. You have to make the choice by yourself, it's a hard decision to make but you have to make it nonetheless."

"Thank you, Rosalie." She comes nearer and closes the space between us. "Ready." Her eyes briefly glance at my lips, I'm almost certain she's leaning in for a kiss. I soon feel the dagger pierce my skin.

And then the world goes black.