Chapter Thirty Eight
"He might be trying to use me to get back at Nicholas though," Astra said.
"Why would that even be an option? I think Nicholas still has feelings for you and Thompson knows that. It also explains why he would want to make you jealous. I don't appreciate the feelings though, a lot of time and pain has passed and you don't really need him anymore, you need to move on. Jared is a better option, sincerely," Stephanie said. Astra was not sure what to do with that information. The knowledge that Nicholas might still be in love with her was chilling and to be honest she was not sure how to react to that. But Stephanie's advice of moving on was probably the best, Sarah had said the same thing too. They might have loved each other before and circumstances may have occurred, but it did not mean they should still continue to love each other.
Astra had plans of knowing what actually caused the issue. She did not know how she would confront Nicholas and ask him but she knew that she would eventually. She wanted to know why even if she had no plans of fixing it.
"I forgot to tell you about the Jared thing. The night I found out all these stuff, I got drunk and called Jared. I actually thought I called Nicholas. Jared appeared at my door later and I was so drunk I thought it was Nicholas, and that's how we had our first kiss. I literally said, I love you Nicholas. It was as embarrassing as hell," Astra said, covering her face with her hands again.
"The heck girl? That's mad," Stephanie said, all the while chuckling.
"Don't tell me this man did not run 180 degrees away from you," Stephanie continued and Astra frowned at her friend.
"Not funny. He slept over and wanted to talk about it the next morning. I all but pursued him out of my house," Astra said.
"And you still ended up together? Please marry this man," Stephanie said and Astra laughed. If only it was that easy. She still loved Nicholas while Jared clearly loved her, even more than Nicholas did.
"We talked over drinks the next day and he told me that he was willing to wait. I feel like I am stringing him on because he is so sincere and I don't know what to do. I feel like I am the bad person in the mix," Astra said. The more she talked to Jared. The more involved she got in with him, the more guilty she felt. She did not know how to handle the guilt. Astra still felt like she was using him.
"I don't know Astra. He knows you are not in love with him, but is still willing to go into a relationship with you. If you were using him you would tell him that you loved him when you didn't," Stephanie said.
"But still," Astra argued but kept quiet after that. Stephanie was probably right, there was no use beating herself up for something she could not control. Jared had his own mind and he made his own choices.
"The best you can do Astra is if you find later that it's not working out, just end it. Try and make it work out now, but if it's not working out, don't hesitate to end it," Stephanie said and Astra nodded that seemed like the best course of action. "Okay I will do that," Astra said.
"There was something that was bothering me that I wanted to talk to you about. Something about Ray," Astra said and Stephanie sat straighter. Astra could tell that her friend was tense. "Okay," Steph replied.
"Please don't be offended and try to keep an open mind," Astra said to Stephanie. Steph looked even more bothered, but she nodded her head.
"Do you remember when you and Ray met, he was kind of into me, and was following me everywhere for a while?" Astra asked. Stephanie looked a bit angry at that but she nodded her head.
"I remember, you did not want a romantic relationship with him then," her friend said, and Astra figured she was already stepping on her foot.
"Neither do I now," Astra clarified.
"These days, it feels like someone is watching me, just like back then. When I saw Ray at the art exhibition, I could not wonder why he was there, he did not seem surprised to see me though, he was just looking uncomfortable and rushed to leave. He also seems to have a huge issue with physical contact with me," Astra said. She did not want to mention the fact that Stephanie did not look happy in the marriage.
"I think your husband is still stalking me," Astra said finally, looking at her friend and waiting for her response.
"What are you insinuating?" Stephanie asked. She had no expression on her face, and Astra could not tell what was on her mind. It was unnerving to say the least. She was not sure if her friend was angry or not.
"You know what I am talking about Stephanie," Astra said and Stephanie's expression feel. It seemed like she was carrying a heavy load that she was finally able to let go off.
"I don't know what to do Astra," Steph said, tears gathering in her eyes. Astra saw the change in her friend's countenance and deduced that the conversation was not one to be had in public.
"We should start getting back to my place. We can talk there," Astra said to her friend. Stephanie cleaned her eyes and nodded her head.
Astra drove them back to her place. They were still on their way when Steph said, "Ray said he travelled two weeks ago. I have not seen him in two weeks."
Astra was shocked, she did not know what to say. She just kept on driving.
"I don't know where he goes, he just says he is working and leaves. Just like that. I don't think he even loves me. He does not love me or this baby, I am sure of that. He even asked to me to have an abortion. He was so angry when I refused," Stephanie said. They were in front of her house by this time. Astra was confused. She knew that it was bad, but she did not know it was this bad. Ray was terrible to her friend. Astra did not know why she did not leave.
"Calm down Stephanie. It is not good for the baby. Just be relax and be calm," Astra said, placing her hand on Stephanie's shoulder.
"Let's go upstairs. You can tell me all about it there," Astra said and Stephanie sighed. Astra's life was turning out to be a roller coaster of drama. It was from one to another.
Both Stephanie and Astra made it up to her room in one piece.
"I am sorry Stephanie, for all you had to go through," Astra said and Steph shook her head.
"It's not your fault Astra. You warned me about him but I refused to listen. I wanted comfort. He is obsessed with you Astra, there is no way to sugar coat it. There is no simple way to say it. I have known this from the beginning but I kept quiet. I stayed with him when I knew that he did not love him. We did not have sex for a very long time. I had to seduce him you see, and when I got pregnant he was furious. He wanted me to abort the baby, I wouldn't. I told him I had miscarried until the pregnancy had gone far. I wanted to be out of the blues," Stephanie said. It was as though she was a flowing dam. The words wouldn't stop coming, and they wouldn't stop shocking her either.