Chapter Seventy
Nicholas woke up that morning with his son by his side. Nicholas had never slept with Brian before, but the boy said he was scared and he did not want to sleep alone. Nicholas had no choice but to oblige.
The previous night, they had planned Theo's party, from the cartoon theme, to the balloons and all. Sarah had also told him that she was ready to move back to her house, that was after Theo's birthday. Nicholas knew that Sarah would want some privacy with Jared. Nicholas also called Yvonne to make sure she was okay last night, she was, and Astra slept through the night too.
Nicholas kissed his son on his forehead, Brian looked so peaceful while he slept. He was also very peaceful when he was awake. Brian was generally not a problematic child. Nicholas almost wanted him to be more active, but he was sick and his brain was active enough.
"Brian," Nicholas said as he tapped the little boy. He already stood up from the bed. Brian opened his little eyes with a smile.
"Daddy," Brian said. Nicholas decided that he liked that word that he really love the word father.
"Come on, let's go brush our teeth," Nicholas said to Brian who smiled back at him.
Nicholas and Brian brushed their teeth, took their baths and went down for breakfast. The entire family, Nicholas was growing to think of them as that, was seated for breakfast.
"Come on and eat," Sarah said, inviting both of them.
"Today is Thompson's trial. I will be in attendance," Nicholas said at the table. He was going through his plate of eggs when he said it. Everyone at the table was affected by Ray and his stunt, everyone deserved to know. The table was quiet for a while, even Theo seemed to be thinking. Brian was in his own world of food as he ate his food quickly.
"I don't know about Thompson, it seemed like he was just a pawn in Ray's game. He allowed himself to be used though, that was his only crime," Stephanie said and they all nodded.
"We should all move on from this, and stronger too. Ray did a number to all of us, but he is now gone, and we are thankful for that. We need to come out of this stronger, we need to overcome this. We are better and greater than this, we should not allow Ray control us while he is in the grave. We are more than that," Sarah said. It sounded oddly like a motivational speech. Nicholas felt like he needed it.
"Ray did a lot of bad things before his death. He destroyed families, he destroyed marriages even. We should bend the broken bonds, he should not be the winner at the end. The bonds that have been broken can only become stronger," Yvonne said and Steph rubbed on her stomach. He could imagine what kind of feeling she was having, she was bearing the child of a murder and monster, but Nicholas knew that Stephanie would treat the child with love. With time, maybe Astra would do the same.
"We should shame him in death, we can only rise from this," Nicholas said and they all agreed.
"I will take Brian to the hospital to see Astra, and then I will find my way to the court room," Nicholas said before leaving.
"Are we going to see Mommy?" Brian asked as they were on their way to the hospital.
"Yes, Brian," Nicholas answered.
"Will Mommy be happy today?" Brian asked. His son was very intuitive that it scared Nicholas. He already knew that his mother was not happy.
"She will be happy, Brian," Nicholas said to his son. In a few minutes, they got to the hospital.
"Good morning, Yvonne," Nicholas greeted her. She was half asleep on the chair outside of Astra's room.
"Oh Nicholas, good morning," Yvonne said with a yawn. Nicholas was already feeling bad that he wanted to leave Brian with her. She had probably been awake all night. "Can you stay for a bit? I want to rush home and take a bath," Yvonne said to him. Nicholas knew that there was absolutely no way he could say no. He nodded in response. "Sure," Nicholas said.
"Thank you," Yvonne replied to him and rushed off. Nicholas then walked into Astra's room with Brian. Brian usually ran to meet his mother, but this time, he seemed to calm and too down. He did not run to meet Astra but just stood by his side.
"Astra," Nicholas said to her as he entered into the room. Astra just looked at him and Brian and turned back again. She did not look surprised or even happy to see him and their son. Nicholas did not like that Ray was affecting them in that manner, she did not like it at all.
"Brian say hi to mommy," Nicholas told his son.
"Hi Mommy," Brian then said to Astra. Astra was obviously not happy that Brian would not greet her except when asked to, so she did not answer him.
"I am going for Thompson's trial today. Ray managed to ruin a great portion of Thompson's life and he is going to ruin all of us from the grave if we let him. Astra this is what he wants. He worked so hard to destroy you and our family, and we finally defeated him. He is dead Astra! You are giving him all the glory that we managed to deny him if you continue behaving like this, if you continue behaving like you don't care. If you continue listening to his words in your head, if you let him shape who you are, Astra," Nicholas said. He did not know why but the words just poured out of him, he was beginning to dislike Astra's behaviour after the kidnap.
"Do you know what I went through?" Astra screamed. She stood up from the bed and walked towards Nicholas.
"Do you know the tears that I shed? Do you know how many times I listened to someone say it is my fault? I am flawed Nicholas, I am broken, you cannot fix me. Stop trying," Astra said and broke into tears. Nicholas was surprised by her outburst and tried to touch me.
"Don't touch me. Don't get close to me, I do not deserve anything, I do not deserve you, Nicholas," Astra said. Nicholas was trying to wrap his head around what was happening. He could not believe what she was saying. It sounded so odd and out of place.
"Astra calm down," Nicholas said.
"I am calm, I am good. Please leave, just leave, I want to be alone. I will get a therapist, I will try, I will be a good mother, I promise to try, but please help me. Help me to become all that I want and please just leave me alone," Astra said. Nicholas tried but could not wrap his head around her reasoning. Why did she want him to leave so bad? Why was she was pained?
"I am going," Nicholas said. He knew that he would probably never understand why she wanted him to leave, but he also knew that it was best to grant her her wishes.
Nicholas walked out of the room with Brian. Astra just sat down on the bed and held her head in her hands. She did not know what was wrong with her. Too many thoughts were in her head at the same time. She was pushing everyone away because she was scared that she would hurt them. It was better for them to be unhurt and not with her than hurt and with her. She lay down on her bed and cried her eyes out in pain. She wished that everything would be over soon.