Chapter 16~Moon Goddess
“Soooo I’m the moon goddess now.” I said shrugging awkwardly. Kenzie gave me a duh look while everybody else tried to figure out if I was being serious or not.
“Okay okay okay.” I said taking a deep breath.
“I guess this all started when I fainted-” I cut myself off and frowned when I realized I could just show them what happened.I snapped my fingers and the TV turned on but instead of a show it was us sitting in Mateo’s room.I flicked my finger like I was flicking through channels and came to a stop when I saw myself crying besides the moon goddess.I put the volume up and the others looked at the TV silently as they watched everything that happened.
I groaned as I sat up and looked around.I frowned not realizing where I was and stood up.
“Hello?” I called out cautiously.I was surrounded by clouds and I tried to look down only to see more clouds.I looked around and groaned before walking in a random direction.
“Phoenix.” A voice called out from behind me.I froze and my eyes filled with tears as I recognized it as the moon goddess.I turned around and my breath hitched in my throat as my suspicions were confirmed.She smiled warmly at me and I walked up to her and slowly wrapped my arms around afraid she would disappear if I squeezed any tighter.She hugged me back tightly and I could hear her whispering soothing words in my ear but I couldn’t make them out over my sobs.
“I’m so sorry I failed you.” I whispered burying my face in her shoulder.She pulled away from me slightly so I could look her in her face.
“You did not fail me Phoenix.” She said sternly.
“You’re dead because of me.” I said softly.She pursed her lips together and shook her head.She took my hand in hers and started walking me in a random direction.We ended up at a beautiful garden.There were roses planted on the ground surrounding a big beautiful tree.There was a small fountain a few feet away from us and a bird bath across from it.She lead me to a white bench and sat down gesturing for me to sit down besides her.
“Is that why you want to give up your soul for Peter to go home?” She asked frowning.I looked down at my hands in my lap and bit my lip hard to keep myself from breaking into sobs again.
“I got Peter into the mess.” I whispered, keeping my eyes on my lap.
“I’M SORRY SELL YOUR SOUL?” Mateo screamed looking at me.
“Do you wanna argue about that now or know what else happened?” I asked crossing my arms over my chest.He grumbled profanities under his chest but didn’t push the subject any further.We turned our attention back to the TV but I noticed the look of pure confusion Peter gave me.
“There’s a lot I have to tell you but you need to understand that the quest you were sent on wasn’t for me-but for you.” She said taking my face in her hands so I would look at her.
“I don’t understand.” I said shaking my head.She nodded her head in understanding and turned her head to look off into the distance.
“I am the moon goddess but there were a few before me.” She started softly.I gaped at her for a second but waited patiently for her to answer.
“The moon goddess is meant to represent the 7 virtues and once they begin to lose sight of them-they die, to be replaced by the next moon goddess.I had been selfish over the years and I knew it was going to come back and bite me, but I’d already accepted it.” She said stopping again.
“The 7 virtues, like the 7 sins?” I asked, frowning.She looked over at me and gave me a sad smile.
“Exactly like that.When you were born I knew the moment I saw you that you were going to be the next moon goddess.Do you know why you were given the name Phoenix?” She asked softly.
“No.” I said shaking my head.
“The name Phoenix was given to you because this isn’t your first life, you’ve lived and died many times before-like a Phoenix.” She said watching me closely for a response.
“I’m sorry what?” I asked, frowning.
“You have lived 5 times already and each time you haven’t met only me but also lived your life and made all kinds of mistakes.But in those times you'd only truly fallen in love once.” She said cautiously.I bit my tongue from saying anything as I waited for her to elaborate.
“When you were in fairytale world where you met Peter, how did you feel?” She asked me.
“I was attracted to him but that was just lust.” I said frowning.The memory of my wolf confusing Peter as my mate came to mind but I pushed it down.The moon goddess stared at me for a second like she knew I was holding something back but she didn’t push.
“You met Peter once and the two of you fell in love despite my attempts to keep you away from him.” She said softly.
The room froze as everybody slowly turned away from the TV to look between me and Peter.
“How many mates do you have?” Kenzie asked bluntly.I rolled my eyes at her as I avoided Peter’s gaze.My laughter filled the room and everybody turned to look back at the TV.
I clutched my stomach as I doubled over in laughter.
“That was funny.” I said through my laughter.
“Phoenix.” She started gently reaching for me.I jerked away from her and stood up before running my fingers through my hair.
“No see it’s funny because it’s a joke because what you’re saying is impossible.What you’re saying is that I don’t only have two mates but three-one of which lives in another world.” I said pacing as I tried to get my thoughts to slow down.
“Phoenix I think you’re forgetting werewolves aren’t immortal.You chose Peter to be your mate I had no control over that.When Mateo and Alex die-which they will you’ll still be here and so will Peter.” She said letting the sentence hang in the air for a second.
“What do you mean I’ll still be here?” I asked turning to look at her.
“You’ve lived and died so many times because you’ve been waiting for your turn as moon goddess-”
“I think death made you crazy.” I said cutting her off.She opened her mouth to speak but I shook my head and closed my eyes tightly.I took a deep breath as I let her words sink in.
“What if I don’t want to be moon goddess?” I whispered choking back tears.I felt her warm hands engulf mine and she gently pulled me down so I was sitting besides her.
“This is what you were meant for.” She said softly.I slowly opened my eyes letting my tears flow freely down my cheeks and shook my head.
“I don’t know how to be the moon goddess.My life is already complicated as is-why can’t you just come back?” I asked as a sob ripped past my lips.She pursed her lips together and slowly wiped the tears from my cheeks ignoring that they kept on falling anyways.She pulled me into her, letting my head rest on her chest and slowly ran her fingers through my hair.
“The quest you went was meant to gauge how well you would do as the moon goddess and you passed every single test with flying colors.You are meant to be the moon goddess and I have zero doubt in my mind that you’ll acced at it.Every single time you died you came back stronger and I knew the moment you opened your eyes you were ready for you anything the world threw at you.” She said reassuringly.
“And Peter?” I asked softly.She pulled back a little and took my face in her hands.
“Peter is your decision to make although I know you’ve already made a decision.” She said giving me a knowing look.I smiled a little and let my head rest on her chest again.
“How come he didn’t recognize me?” I mumbled.
“You were different-you had the same pure soul but you looked and talked differently.” She said and I could basically hear the smile in her voice as she reminisced.
“Is Peter the only hidden mate I have out there?” I asked curiously.
“Yes.” She said nodding her head.
“I had wings.” I said giggling at the looks on everybody’s faces when they popped out.
“Your powerful.Your powers gave you what they felt you needed in the moment.” She answered simply.We sat silently for a second as I played her words on repeat in my head.
“Mateo and Alex are going to die.” I said breaking the silence.I could see her looking at me from the corner of my eyes but I didn’t turn my head to look at her.
“Eventually yes.” She said nodding her head.
“What are the seven virtues?” I asked, moving my eyes to the birdbath.
“Chastity, Charity, Diligence, Humility, Kindness, Patience, and Temperance.” She answered smoothly.
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” I asked looking at her.She smiled weakly at me and gave me a look that said I should already know the answer to that.
“Would you have left my side?Been able to focus on becoming the next moon goddess?” She asked knowingly.I slowly nodded my head realizing what she was saying was true and took a deep breath.
“What do I have to do?” I asked standing up.She stood up in front of me and took my hand in hers.She closed her eyes and her body started to glow.
“Wait.” I said, pulling my hands away from hers.
“What’s wrong?” She asked confusion , lacing her voice.
“Will I be able to see you again?” I asked silently panicking.She smiled sadly at me and shook her head.
“No-but I’ll always be right here.” She said pointing at my heart.I took a deep breath and nodded before wrapping my arms around her and closing my eyes tightly.I tumbled forward a little and I opened my eyes to see she was gone.I bit back a sob and looked down at my hands just as the glow on them began to fade.I looked up from my hands as I heard a growl and my eyes met my wolves.She bared her canines at me in a smile and ran up to me.I smiled and dropped to my knees and hugged her into me.
‘It’s been so hard keeping all of this from you.’ She said running around the garden.
“You knew all of this the whole time?” I asked, frowning.
‘Duh you only get one wolf and that’s me.’ She said getting ready to pounce on a bird.
“So you’ve been there for everything?” I asked softly.
‘Yup.’ She said lying still.
“And when I was with Peter and you said mate?”
‘I was dropping a hint.’ She said just as she pounced on the bird.
“How-How did I feel about him?” I asked nervously.She looked over at me for a second before turning her attention back to the bird.
‘You were both madly in love.Your grandmother begged you to stay away from him convinced that you only felt the way you did for him because of the Lust living inside of him but you knew better.You’d sneak away any chance you got just to be with him even if it was only for five minutes and the way he would look at you-it’s a lot like the way he looks at you now, like you’re the only girl in the world and you can’t do any wrong.’ She said as she ate the bird.
“How are you going to feel if-when Mateo and Alex die?” I asked curiously.She turned to look at me and licked the blood from her paws.
‘It depends if you choose to be with Peter in the end or not.’ She said simply.
“What do you mean?” I asked sitting down on the bench.She stretched her legs out before running up to me and climbing on my lap.I ran my fingers through her fur and she closed her eyes as she enjoyed the feeling.
'Well when they die if you choose to be with Peter in the end then the empty feeling will go away eventually but if you decide that Mateo and Alex are the only people you want to love ever then the empty feeling will stay and grow and soon it’ll become to much-usually wolves go crazy but with the moon goddess nobody really knows what happens.′ She answered calmly.She perked up and I watched as her ears turned like she was listening to something.
‘Time to go.’ As soon as she said that I was surrounded by darkness.I felt my body slowly sitting up and my eyes slowly opened to meet Kenzie’s.