Chapter 40
Could I really stand up to the task?
The intense fire that burned in the queen's eyes was all-consuming, so much so that it threatened to swallow me whole, but at the same time, I'd never felt more alive. So few people had ever believed in me or my abilities so fervently. And, looking at Xaden, I saw
nothing but bright encouragement.
Maybe it was possible if they believed it so.
After all, this could be my chance to transform myself-to shed my old, submissive skin and be reborn into something beautiful and worthy of respect. Setting my jaw, I nodded. "Okay."
Her face instantly lit up, as if I had done her a big favor. "You can count on me, my dear," she declared, spirited. "I will not let you down."
She was so passionate about this... I felt like I could trust her. So, we set our first lesson for tomorrow morning and parted ways.
The moment Maggie saw me in a dress different than the one she picked out for me, she paled, knowing something had gone wrong. Reluctantly, I explained what had happened, with Isabelle's sabotage and how Princess Charlotte saved the day... and she did not take the news well.
She practically threw herself at Xaden's feet, apologizing profusely for not being able to follow me inside due to the rude palace guards.
That revelation came as a shock to him. Instantly, I recalled her mentioning working for the palace many years ago, but the guest protocol must have changed in recent years. I couldn't help but wonder if security had tightened because of relations with other kingdoms.
Had things really gotten so bad? What could have triggered it?
Surprise aside, Xaden was quick with a solution, offering to secure a new identity card for Maggie as soon as possible so she could accompany me in the future. And this seemed to appease her for the time being, while also comforting me that I'd have another familiar face to keep me company.
The drive home was, thankfully, quiet and peaceful. And as we ate dinner -a delicious dish of steamed potatoes and garlic beef, provided by the meat purchased at Mona Road-I felt myself calm down even more.
Whatever the future had in store would happen. But what I had right now, dining with Xaden in our home, was all I needed.
After we retreated to our bedroom and I changed into my nightwear, I neatly folded up the lovely dress that Princess Charlotte lent to me and put it aside to wash tomorrow. I had no idea when the next time I saw her would be, but I wanted to ensure it stayed in pristine condition, at the very least.
Meanwhile, Xaden took his time getting comfortable and washing up, but I felt his eyes on me the entire time. Heat crawled up my neck, spreading to my ears. I still wasn't used to a man looking at me the way he would.
Did it mean he wanted to... be intimate again...?
He approached me from behind. "You were breathtaking today."
"Th-Thank you. Your sister was too kind to lend me one of her beautiful dresses. I... I couldn't-"
"The dress was lovely, yes," he purred, sliding his hands around my waist, making me face him. "But I was talking about you." "Me...?" I whispered.
His head cocked at my reaction. "It seems to baffle you every time I say so."
My face heated up. "W-Well... you're the only person ever to call me that ..." I stuttered. His mere presence was muddling my mind.
I caught the quick motion of his eyes flickering to my mouth, and it made something inside me flutter. "I'll say it as many times as you'd like me to. Whether you're wearing the most exquisite gown or nothing at all..." he murmured, leaning in closer and closer, "you're the most beautiful thing I'll ever behold."
I swallowed hard. How did he always know just what to say?
My eyes fluttered shut. I was ready for whatever he wanted to do.
Xaden pressed his lips delicately against mine, slow and tentative at first but growing more and more passionate once he felt my ready response to the kiss. I could taste the red wine he drank during dinner, sweet and intoxicating and tickling my senses, and I wanted more. I parted my mouth -an invitation for him to deepen the kiss as he pleased-which he graciously accepted.
The moment I felt his tongue touch my own, my mind clouded. I moaned softly into his mouth, melting against his muscular body.
I wanted to feel him again...
Oh, how I wanted to become reacquainted with his body the way we had only just begun to discover together. He had two nights' worth of memories savoring my own, learning how to make my toes curl in ecstasy and what made me blush, but I only truly had one of him. I had so much to learn about him... and I wanted to know it all.
My wandering hands found his belt. Slowly, I started to unbuckle-
"Stop-*Xaden gasped with a harsh intake of breath, abruptly breaking off the kiss and pulling away from me, holding me at arm's length.
My heart dropped with a thud.
He... just pushed me away.