The Grateful Rejection

I tossed and turned in my bed, any position, just any position that'll help me sleep. But nothing seemed to work, I knew why but I didn't wanna see it.. him.

I picked up my phone and saw the timing, it's two in the morning. I could hear every heartbeat around me, everything was calm. I slipped into my fuzzy slippers and pulled a light cardigan and went downstairs to the kitchen. I avoided looking out of the window as I could feel one heat beating anxiously. For the last week he has been coming here and sitting under my balcony, waiting for me. He would be there untill morning or when I decide to go to work, I would be lying if I say that in his presence I don't feel safe and sound. No longer I am being haunted by my nightmares, every night I dream about mocha eyes. The warmth, the emotions in them sends chills up and down my body, entrapping me in it's magic and I am willingly submitting to it.

His smell has engulfed me, even unconsciously I would lean more into his scent, mud on a rainy day. So earthly, so masculine, so raw, it was a lullaby to me. Calming every nerve in my body. Gulping a glass of water I peeked through the window, there he was in his lycan form sitting just a few feets away from the door looking expectantly at me.

My heart started to beat at a crazy rate, my entire being wanted to be near him, my wolf wanted to touch her lover. She wanted to ruffle his hair, caress his cheeks, look into his eyes and repeat the only thing she has been saying since she knew about him, I have been waiting so long for you.

His tail stated to wiggle when I moved towards the door. I didn't know what will I say, I didn't know what I want or need. Do I really want a mate? Need a mate? Am I even ready for it? Am I ready to put everything at stake once again? I doubt I can trust anyone, anymore. He is a lycan after all, he shouldn't be bothered about a rankless wolf and her issues.

I was hesitant to open the door but did it anyway, he sat up looking excited as his tail wiggled at a faster pace. My body hummed being this close to him, I closed the door behind me as I looked intently in his neon blue eyes. My heart started to flutter, he looked so innocent. An irony to what he is, a lycan, one of the most feared and powerful being. A being known for it's strength and nobility.

We just stood there still looking at each other drinking up each other's presence. I heard bones cracking making me come out of my daze. I was tempted to reach out for him but I contained myself. My heart started to flutter like a fae's wings, in a blink of an eye there stood a very.. very masculine man.

He was what people call raw masculinity. I gulped as I took him in, his stood 6'7 feet tall with way too broad shoulders. His eyes were warm mocha, just like my dreams. His soft brown-blond hair was shoulder length, tempting me to run my fingers in his thick locks. His nose was pretty crocked, showing how many time he broke it, I chuckled lightly. His lips. Oh god.. beautiful pink lips, I had a sudden urge to nibble them untill his skin breaks. My eyes started to assess him even more. Muscles were wrapped in his arms tightly, showing the bulge of his biceps and triceps and thick rope of veins running all over his arms. His chiseled chest made my knees weak. My eyes trailed down to his delicious abs and I almost fainted. I wanted to lather chocolate all over them and lick it off. I have never once seen this tight 8 pack abs.

Suddenly my lips felt dry, unconsciously my tongue wet my lower lip and my teeth grazed it. I heard a growl made me jump, I looked at him in embarrassment. I looked away not wanting to look there, "D-don't you have clothes?" I say moving back a little. I had stepped a little closer to him.

"Do you want me to be in clothes?" His huskily voice made me cream my shorts, no I am not wearing panties.

My face was beet red when I smelt my arousal mixed with his, he let out a low rumble of lust from his chest.

"Yes" NO.

I answered his question and turned around, my back facing him. I don't know why but I couldn't keep the smile off my face. I bit my lips to stop my self from sighing when I felt his warmth near me. "I am dressed, moya malen'kaya al'fa” (my little alpha) his hot breath hitting the back of my ear made me shiver in delight. Whatever he said in his foreign language made my wolf roll over and show her belly. Though he was only a feet away from me, it felt like we're were mere inches away. Even then I didn't like the distance, I wanted to close it... but not now.

I turned around only to be captured by his lips on mine. His lips felt so warm on mine, they didn't move nor did mine. I was frozen, he pulled back with the biggest grin on his face, "You have beautiful lips, moya lyubov' * (my love) he said and tucked a stand of hair behind my ears. His hands rested peacefully on my hips, I don't know why but I felt complete. Like a missing piece has been put into place. His warmth had engulfed my every senses, my wolf purred,, wanting me to snuggle in the arms of our lover.

I was still shocked as to what happened as I looked wide eyed at the man in front of me who is very much amused by my reaction, " Glad to know I have such an effect on you" he said making me snap out of my daze. I furrowed my brows at him, “Yeah well I didn't expect you to just kiss me like that!" I reasoned.

He chuckled, "Whatever floats your boat" he mocked making me narrow my eyes at him. He was about to dip his head down again when I put my hand over his lips, "We need to talk!" I said seriously, he rose his eyebrows at me and nodded his head.

We sat down on the kitchen counter opposite to each other, "You never told me your name" I said right after we sat down. He looked at me with an intense look making me squirm, "You never asked.." he said making me feel guilty. I looked away, "I-1 wa--" he shook his head with a small smile, "It's okay, moya lyubov' you don't have to explain yourself." He said with a dazzling smile making my heart skip a beat. I smiled in gratitude, "Sebastian. Sebastian Hounds" he said and looked deep in my eyes.

"Sebastian..." His name rolled off my tongue unconsciously, I saw his shiver a little. I smirked mentally, I too have an effect on him.

"You make my name sound so perfect, moya lyubov' " he took my hand in his and brought it to his lips. I blushed when he kissed my knuckles softly maintaining eye contact. I pulled my hands back softly and tucked an imaginary lock of hair behind my ear, "What is your name, moya malen'kaya al'fa” he asked plopping his elbow on the counter top and putting his chin on his palm.

I smiled looking at him, so adorable, "Nora Huntsons" I said, my insides melted when he too whispered my name. Perfect, my wolf's emotion travelled through me.

"So what did you want to talk about?" He said breaking a long silence, I looked up at him with a straight face, taking a deep breath,,, I started to say what I had in mind for the past one week.

"I-I never knew that I'd get a mate.. well a second chance mate... But I never thought I'd get what I got. You. I was overwhelmed and confused. Sebastian.. you've just met me and I am not going to bore you with my tragic past but all I will say is that.. I don't know if i am ready. I wasn't prepared for this to ever happen. I have shit ton of problems to sort out and I don't wanna drag you into my mess. I have issues.. bad ones, I don't know if I am ready to trust, to commit, to love or to devote.” I shook my head looking outside and I kept my tears at bay as all the horrid things flashed through my mind, "You're a good man, Sebastian. You don't deserve an erastis with extra load, you deserve better.. million times better than me" I said, my heart breaking with every word coming out of my mouth.

I felt two arms wrap around me, I leaned back to his warmth. We just stayed like that for a minute, I held my tears at bay. Not wanting to come off as a cry baby in front of Sebastien.

After a few more minutes he sat down beside me but still had both of his hands wrapped in my palm. His hands fitted so perfectly against mine, "Moya lyubov', firstly I want to clarify one thing, I am not your mate.” He said as a matter of fact, I snapped looking at him in betrayal, "Erastis is more than just mates. Our souls were not chosen to be together by someone who doesn't even know us. We choose our own soulmates, our Erastis. And I chose you just as much you chose me. We not only complete each other but fulfill each other. Erastis are not only bounded souls but bounded mind, spirit and emotions. Erastis are so much more than mates, we just not love each other, we also respect each other, protect each other and support each other.” He said lovingly making my heart flutter with pride and love.

"As for your comment on issues and problems, I'll spend the rest of my eternity fixing it with you than to live with someone who is not you. I chose you, moya lyubov' my lycan chose you. We needed you, you complete us. And I know there is no one as perfect as you. With your feisty and caring nature.. and let's not forget how controlling you get in the kitchen.” He said the last part in a mocking way making me chuckle and hit his chest. He pulled me off my chair making me stand between his legs as he wrapped his arms around my waist, "There is no one in the world I want other than you" he said in all honesty.

I looked at him vulnerably, "Will you be able to handle things that comes with me?" I asked uncertain about the answer.

He looked in my eyes softly, "We will solve everything together” sincerity was clearly visible in my words and his eyes.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and put my head on his shoulder, "Please let's take this slow" I said. I know if I jump into this relationship and God forbid if something goes wrong, I wouldn't be able to live with myself again. More importantly, all these years I heave learnt that taking irrational decision will only lead to bad road. I just wanna be sure about it.

I wouldn't say I'll make it easy for him because I will not. I will have all the wall up around my heart, and if he truly means what he says then he'll be till he broke down the last wall around my heart. I just wanna make sure that he believes I am worth every bit of effort.

A groan make us break, our heads snapped towards the sound. An annoyed looking Ariana stood there with an empty jar, "You guys are so crappy. Where are you living at 1950's?" She said aggitatedly and went to fill up the jar with water. She let out a big yawn which scratching her butt, "Just fuck each other like rabid animals to oblivion, you'll soon be sure of your feelings after 200th earth scattering orgasms" she said and walked back upstairs muttered “old people’

I turned red in embarrassment when I heard a hearty laugh, through the laugh was like a lullaby to my ears. The situation wasn't, "Sorry.. for that. She has no control over her mouth” I said honestly and chuckled, God I love my sister.