The Girl Called Trouble

I came here without knowing why. To a place I have only seen in my dreams. I have arrived in New York city. I am originally from a small town in Ohio, where the closest city is nearly an hours drive away. I don’t know why so many people seem happy to be crammed together. Yet as soon as I arrive, I am surrounded by more people than I have ever seen in one place.

I am not a normal person. I mean, how can I be? There are days when I don’t even know if my existence is real. I feel almost nothing now. I came here as a last resort to save myself. At least I think I did, or maybe I came here to end my suffering. Will I be able to survive the city, or will it destroy me? Who am I really? I don’t even know my real name. Do I really care? Am I able to care about anything?

I slowly get off at the bus station. I would have flown but I don’t have much money. In fact, I don’t have anything really. I need to get to the hotel. I look at the cheap phone that my cousin picked up for me at the supermarket. I know where I must go. I have already seen it. I have seen everything that happens here.

I look up the name of the hotel and pull up the directions. I head to the subway. I must travel by train for a while. Even if I haven’t been here before, I know where the hotel is. It always confuses me. When is now? I look at the date on my phone. Saturday, August 7, 2021. Yes. This is going to be the craziest year I will ever live.

My name is Ceres. When I look at myself, I am an average person. I have long silver hair, and purple eyes. I look like a normal person, or at least I think I do. It’s one thing I don’t understand. I do not have a concept of beauty. Most people just look normal to me. Of course, I have very little interest in people. People are of no use to me. I am better off on my own.

I wish, I wish there was one person that I could truly understand. Yet, I have always been alone. Perhaps that is why I came here. Perhaps for once, I wanted to know what it was like to not be alone. Or perhaps, I am just trying to escape. My name might be Ceres, but my nickname is Trouble. After all, I am the child of a demon. Then again, maybe I am not.

Why am I trouble? I don’t have the answer for that. However, it seems like trouble is drawn to me, or maybe, I am the one drawn to trouble. Either way, if people want to call me trouble, then I shouldn’t disappoint them. If they want trouble, then I should give them what they are asking for. I’m just nice that way.