The Gift

I set the phone down on my nightstand and go back to the TV. It seemed to be stuck on one frame. Stupid cable. I wait for it to pixelate into the next scene or start back up again, but it doesn’t.

Grabbing the remote, I hit the button to change the channel, but nothing happens. Stupid TV. I try to turn it off. Again nothing.

Ack. Forget it. I toss the remote down. Ignoring the TV now, I realize it’s silent. Not a sound to be heard.

“Ahem,” I hear from right beside me and I jump, silently screaming. I also silently cuss and at my left side for working when I can’t use it.

Looking at the chair, I see Lucas. “Um, I didn’t call you,” I say, my heart still racing. “Not that it isn’t good to see you, I mean.”

“I’ll let you withdraw that last part if you so wish after you hear me out,” he tells me.

He’s dressed like a doctor tonight.

“Why the outfit? It’s quiet – well, silent – which means no one will come in to interrupt us,” I say.

“Doing my hospital rounds. Makes it easier sometimes.”

“So, what’s up?”

“We need to talk. There’s been some discussion and we’ve decided we wanted to make a change. Unfortunately, it’s a rather drastic one.”

“Go on,” I say, curious now.

He nods and continues. “When I told you how long you had, I told you the truth. However, even I cannot foresee certain things. Sometimes other forces try to interfere. They can’t change destiny, but they can make it more complicated. Your recent accident for example.”

“Is that why Ben couldn’t see it?” I wonder out loud.

“Exactly,” Lucas says, even though we’ve never discussed Ben or his gifts. “If it were natural, he would have seen it and could have warned you, but it wasn’t.

“Since you’re not in any shape to go visit anyone, I’ve removed the pull from your gift and am acting as a substitute in the interim. Because of this, and your significant contributions, it’s been agreed upon to change your role. But it too comes at a price. A high price. One that you might not be willing to pay.”

He pauses to let all this sink in.

“What would I do?” I ask.

“You would be doing something along the line of what you are now. Giving time to people, helping out, giving them hope and ambitions. Proving encouragement, sympathy, and compassion. It wouldn’t just be dying people, but people like your Brittany. Even Holly.”

“And what do I have to give up?” I ask, waiting for the catch.

He watches me, searching my eyes for something, I don’t know what. Finally, he says, “Everything dear to you here. You would end your existence here as you know it.” I gasp as he continues. “There are a few other things you should be aware of. Should you choose to decline, you will continue on as you are, once you’re able. I will restore your pull and you will live out your life, as long as it will be, determined by you.

“The force against you may decide to intercede again and I cannot control that. Not that they are aware of you, it is possible that the job might take its toll on you. I don’t really want to see you suffer any more than you already have.

“Now, should you choose to accept, you will gain a sort of immortality, such as I have. Because of your interaction with various ages, you can choose to appear any age you wish. It will be your true self, so if you choose and older version, you will look like you would at that age had you naturally aged. “Your parents will be saddened by their loss, but after living full lives you will be reunited with them.

“Holly will go on to be a famous doctor and do many good things. She will discover cures and save many lives.

“Brittany will find someone who loves her despite her loss. Possibly more because of it. They will both live long, full lives, with their children, and she will help other survivors who have losses. Without actually knowing it, she too will save lives. Helping the depressed through their loss so they don’t… die.

“Anna and Jason, well, you’ll find out either way you decide, so I won’t spoil it. Their lives will be full of joy doing what they love to do – helping others.”

Lucas stops and I can’t help but to ask, “What about Ben?”

Still looking me in the eyes, he says, “If you decline you will outlive Ben. If you accept, well… Ben was correct when he said you two were soulmates. He will join you in his own way one he passes over. You two will be together for eternity either way, it’s just a matter of who’s first.”

“Will knowing any of this affect things if I stay?”

“Should you choose to stay you will forget what I’ve just told you here.”

“If I choose to go, do we go right now?” I ask, worried.

“No, I’m Mercy, remember? I will give you plenty of time to say your goodbyes, or rather, your farewells for this lifetime… Within reason of course. No cheating and trying to say goodbye to the whole world,” Lucas says and smiles at me.

“And how soon do I have to decide?”

“In order to protect you, I have to know tonight.”

“You mean if I say no, something bad is going to happen tomorrow?” I ask with a groan.

“No. It just protects you for more suffering. It really saddens me to see you suffer,” he tells me. “You should know that if you accept, you shall be known as the Angel of Mercy, the champion of Hope, Persistence, and Perseverance.

“Of course, the last part I added because of your tenacity. In the face of adversity, you refuse to give up. Because of al the people you’ve helped in one form or another, among your other special qualities, you were chosen.

“Before you say it, I do understand how hard the decision we’ve given you is. All of us were given a similar choice at some point of our lives. Few pass up the opportunity, however it does happen. The pull to our loved ones is strong, but most realize that the separation is only temporary.

“The choice is yours. Do you have any questions?”

“Can I take a day or two to say goodbye?”

“Certainly. As I said, take the time you need.”

“Will it hurt?”

“Only in here,” he says pointing at his heart.

I stop to think if I have anymore questions. None seem to come up, so I say, “That’s all I’ve got.”

“Then take your time considering your answer. Time is stopped. You have as long as you need,” he tells me.

“Okay. I accept if you promise no one suffers from my leaving… at least not too much to bear. I would be stupid to think no one would suffer at my los, but I mean nothing extreme.”

His eyes light up. “Ahh, once again you show your mercy. You think of others even in death. This is why we picked you. I promise the suffering will be emotional, but they will all move from sorrow to love and remembrance as quickly as acceptable. And they will all because better people because of you.”

“Deal,” I agree.

“That fast?”

“It’s like the gift you gave me. I can help myself and feel guilty, help a few and feel a little less guilty, but guilty none-the-less. Or I can accept, feel guilty for hurting a few to help more. Only the last option is a sensible one. So yes, that fast.”

“You continue to amaze me… And that’s hard to do. Very well. In the same manor as you call me, you can start the process. When you are ready, simply speak to me and tell me that you are satisfied you are done here. At that point, you will have about an hour to your passing.

“Oh, one other thing, although you probably anticipated this. Once you are gone, you will be able to appear to people just as I can do, and I told you, you will appear as yourself at the age you choose, however you will not appear as yourself to those you knew. They will not recognize you and your words will be lost from their minds should you try to tell them who you used to be. This is not to hurt you, but to protect those you left. Could you imagine the hurt you could inflict on your mom should you appear to her and try to convince her you are who you are? An immortal Angel? I’m sure she would be proud, but the pain of lose would be place on her again.

“Knowing you, I don’t see you ever inflicting more pain on someone, but I just want to be sure you were aware of that.”

“I understand. And agree with you. That would be cruel,” I say.

“Anything else?” he asks.

I shake my head. “Not unless you have more.”

“I think I’ve covered everything. If not, ask and I’ll come tell you.”

“Okay, goodnight,” I say

He stands and touches my forehead and says, “Be at peace and sleep well.”

I feel immediately calm, all the anxiety and worry gone and fall right to sleep, having the best night sleep I’ve had in years.